Disclaimer: I don't own Hannah Montana or the Jonas Brothers


Dear Diary,

You know, life can be good for only so long before that plane ride of happiness you're on comes crashing down in a fiery blaze and plunges into the ocean and since you're the only person on the plane, you're kinda just swimming around in the ocean for a few days until a shark comes and eats half of you and after that you get really thirsty but you can't drink because it's the ocean and then when you're finally dead the rescue party shows up and they're all like, "Oh well, she was too happy. So she pretty much deserved it. Want to grab a smoothie?"

Or something like that. I'm not really sure what I'm talking about. Writing about. Thinking about. Whatever. My thoughts have gotten me into a lot of trouble lately. Or maybe it's the fact that me and my best friend are liars and come up with ridiculous schemes that are destined to fail.

I've noticed that I'm being extremely vague and I suppose I should buckle down and talk about my problems. That is the reason Miley gave me you, after all. OK. I can do it. I can tell you how my life has become awful. And I know what you're thinking! Wait! Lilly just told me that she was the girlfriend of Kevin Jonas. How can her life be miserable?

Answer. Diary, you are extremely out of touch. It's been about two months since I last wrote to you because while I was dating Kevin I was NORMAL. I didn't embarrass myself or other people and I was happy. So now, you must be asking yourself what happened?

Miley Stewart/Hannah Montana happened.

About two weeks after Kevin and I started going out, Miley and Nick stopped their lame tap dance of uncertainty on the edge of dating and made it official. So we were the power couples. Best friends dating brothers? What could possibly be better? Nothing. Except for the fact that Miley and Lilly basically disappeared because we always had to be Hannah and Lola. And the Jonas boys aren't idiots. They started to get suspicious of why we never hung out at our houses or why we would just be gone Monday through Friday.

Three days ago, Miley, the mastermind of all plans, decided that we needed to tell the boys her secret for the sake of her and Nick's relationship. Oh, and me and Kevin of course. She had it all planned out. We'd go to Miley's house for dinner, feed them silly, and then hit them with the stick of truth. I was a little skeptical about this "brilliant" plan.

It was basically destined to fail really. So, tonight, the night of Operation: Food Makes Boys Happy So If We Feed Them Then They Couldn't Be That Angry Because They'll Still Be Happy We Fed Them, I was a little worried. I followed "Hannah" as she made sure the food looked good.

"Miley, why would feeding them make them any less angry? Maybe we should just not tell them ever."

She threw me a dirty look over her shoulder and turned around, heading to the kitchen.

"Lilly, trust me. I have 100 faith in O:FMBHSIWFTTTCCBTABTSBHWFT. But, we probably could have picked an easier name for this. That is the last time we let Oliver come up with our mission names!"

How could she be so calm? We were about to tell our boyfriends, and Joe, that we were liars and nothing who they thought we were! This wasn't the time for jokes. This was the time for an epic mental breakdown. Miley sensed this and right before I exploded, and I swear by some voodoo magic, the doorbell rang and she flew to the door. Before she opened it she turned to me.

"Listen girl. You need to CALM DOWN. It is crucial that we feed them before we tell them anything. So just pretend everything is fine for at least an hour. Can you do that?"

Well. I was slightly offended she thought I couldn't remain calm. I just nodded once. She didn't deserve a response. Psh. How hard could remaining calm be?

Kevin came in and kissed me on the cheek. "Hey, sweetie."

OK, all I had to do was remain calm. I totally got this.

"HEY! IT"S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU! BOY, I'M HUNGRY. YOU HUNGRY? LET'S EAT!"

Oh. My. God. Kevin, Joe, and Nick were just staring at me and Miley was behind them, her eyes narrowed into tiny slits and mouthing, "I will kill you". Alright, I'll admit it. I might have had a slight problem with being calm. But I think death threats were hardly necessary. Kevin took and hand and went into "concerned boyfriend" mode.

"Lola, are you ok? You haven't been like this since we first met. What's wrong?"

And I couldn't even respond because my insides were too busy melting over how cute he was when he was worried. So I just stared at him and Miley took the liberty to answer him.

"Oh, Lola's fine. She's just a bit hungry. We haven't eaten all day. So let's eat!"

We sat down at the table and begin the dinner from hell. I refused to talk, just in case I let something slip and Miley was being extra loud to cover it up. Nick and Joe went with it but Kevin kept staring at me. Those brown eyes were so unnerving I couldn't even look at them. I kept my eyes focused on my plate until dessert. After the apple pie, I finally looked around at everyone. I thought I was doing a pretty good job at remaining calm until Joe spoke.

"Hey Lola, I didn't know you had an eye twitch. Does that happen often?"

God, I suck at trying to be normal. I just looked at Miley and she seemed to understand. She cleared her throat and everyone turned to look at her.

"Actually guys, Lola is a bit nervous. We have something to say."

She hesitated at this and for one crazy, hopeful second, I thought she wasn't going to go through with it. But then Nick grabbed her hand and she seemed to collect herself. She took a huge breath and dropped the bomb.

"OK, well here it goes. Although I'm Hannah Montana right now, I'm not like this always. My name is Miley Stewart and I'm a sophomore at Seaview High School."

She took off her wig and undid all the bobby pins. By that time, Nick had let go of her hand and was staring at her in shock and awe. She shook out her brown hair and paused. She turned to me and nodded. When I started to speak, my voice shook.

"And since Hannah needed a best friend, I became Lola. But, um, my name is Lilly Truscott."

I took off my pink wig and undid my bobby pins. With my eyes closed, I let my blond hair fall around my shoulders. I kept my eyes shut through almost half of Miley's story. When she got to the part about me finding out about her, I finally opened my eyes. Nick had grabbed Miley's hand again and was looking at her like he couldn't quite believe she was real. Joe had a hand covering his lower face but it was obvious he thought it was hilarious. And then I looked at Kevin and was startled to see his eyes looking straight at mine. And that's when I knew this plan was a disaster.

Diary, he looked at me like I was worthless. He looked so confused and sad and angry and hurt and worst of all, disappointed. Disappointed that I didn't tell him before. Or maybe because I wasn't Lola, but some regular girl who tricked him. Amber and Ashley had nothing on Kevin Jonas in making me feel bad about myself. I forced myself to look at Miley, who was just about done with her story.

"And so, we figured if we fed you, you guys wouldn't be so mad at us!"

She looked around at them hopefully, her grin faltering as she saw Kevin, but returning when Nick pulled her up and hugged her. She sighed into his shoulder.

"So you don't hate me?"

He pushed her gently back, looked into her eyes and grinned.

"As long as Miley Stewart doesn't have a boyfriend, I don't care what Hannah Montana does on her off days."

They stood there hugging until Joe spoke up. I was actually a little surprised he hadn't said anything yet.

"Dude! This is sweet. You're like a superhero. Except you don't save lives, but minor detail. You should totally have a T.V. show or something about this. Why didn't we think of this? My name could have been Danger. That's it, but it would be all I need. Nick could have been called The Stud. And Kevin would perform under the name Voltron."

Nick and Miley looked at Joe confused.

"Why would he call himself Voltron?"

Joe looked at Nick like he was an idiot.

"I don't know. Maybe because it's super badass."

Nick and Miley just started to laugh and in that moment, I knew that they were fine. Nick was going to stick with Miley. Probably break up with Hannah, wait a few weeks and then go out in public with Miley. And I wish I could say I was happy for them, because I am. But at that moment, I hated Miley Stewart for doing this to me.

Nick and Miley were in a corner talking quietly and Joe was sitting on the couch, totally unfazed, watching T.V. I think he was happy because he was full. So maybe Miley was right. When you need to tell a boy bad news, just feed him until he doesn't care about problems because he isn't hungry. I turned to face Kevin again when I noticed he was gone. I looked around and found him over by the window. I knew it was now or never and walked over to him. We stood next to each other, looking out on the ocean, for a few seconds before I opened my mouth to speak.

"Look Kevin, I know you're angry bu-"

Before I had finished the word, Kevin had turned his back to me and strode purposefully towards the front door. Without hesitating, he opened the door and walked out, slamming it behind him. I was left standing there, with my mouth still opened to o. Nick, Miley, and Joe all stared at me and I couldn't take the pity. I looked at Miley and she nodded, understanding. I knew she knew where to find me. So I took off. I ran to the only place that can calm me down. And I know you think you know where I'd end up. The beach or maybe the swing set at the local park perhaps? Haha that would be so obvious. So no, I didn't end up at the beach or the park or the roof of my house.

Yes, you will currently find me sitting on the bench in front of a music store two blocks from my house. Random, I know, but it's fun to people watch and just sit and listen to the music coming from inside the store. Plus, sometimes they have a really good sale and you can get Cd's for really cheap. It's a win-win situation.

Anyway, it's late and dark and no one's around. But that's OK, because I think I need to be alone. After this horrible night, I'm not sure what's going to happen. I don't know if Kevin will ever talk to me again. I'm also a little mad that he didn't listen to me. My emotions are all haywire and I'm so confused. I feel like I'm going to explode. I'm not even really sure what I'm writing anymore.

And I think someone's coming. I hear footsteps and I see a shape coming closer. It could be Miley or Kevin or some random stranger/murderer.

And Diary, I'm not quite sure who I hope it is.

Lilly


Um hey guys. So basically I fail at life. I am so sorry I haven't updated in such a long time! I got my wisdom teeth out two weeks ago and I think that when they pulled my teeth out, they took my inspiration out with it. So this took me forever and it's not all that great and really not funny but it's what needed to happen. The next couple of chapters should be alot more funny. Thanks for reading!