Innocent Sins
A/N: I'm posting this chapter early, because I felt bad about the lack of interaction between E and B on the last chapter, and I got a good amount of reviews so I just wanted you to know that they were much appreciated. Thanks
~Chapter 7 –Cullen~
BPOV
It was sort of surreal seeing Edward again, especially in that scenario. Many people had come and gone in my life and most were entirely forgettable. I had only known Edward for a little over a week, and probably exchanged less than a thousand words between us, but my mind would often return to him over the years, and I never really knew why.
When the kids were done hanging on him, he waved to them with a smile, and then looked up and locked eyes with me.
"Uh, hi," I said awkwardly, and he stared at me like I was crazy. "Uh…how are you?"
Edward didn't respond, he just stared at me blankly so I realized that he probably didn't even remember me.
"Edward, right? We were lab partners for like a week in high school….Uh, Bella Swan," I reminded him.
"Yeah, I remember," he said finally.
"Wow, I have to say, I never expected to see you again," I said, trying to break the ice.
"I guess I could say the same," he said while looking away and seeming distracted.
"So, how are you, where have you been all this time?" I asked him.
"Uh, all over really."
"Bye Edward, see you next week," a kid said as she walked down the hall.
"Bye Bree, take care of yourself," Edward said kindly, then turned back to me. "It was nice seeing you again, but I should be going."
"Oh, me too, I'm actually looking for a Mr. Cullen, do you know where he is?"
"Yeah, that's me," he said unexpectedly.
"Your last name is Jameson," I said curiously.
"Uh, not anymore. What do you need me for?" he said emotionlessly.
"Um, Nurse Siobhan sent me to ask you to show me around. I just got a nursing job here and everyone is too busy."
Edward seemed upset, or maybe just annoyed, I couldn't be sure.
"Yeah, Ok. Follow me," he said coldly.
He started pointing things out and giving me a brief description of what everything was.
"So, what's your job here?" I asked as we walked down a hall.
"Uh, I do most the volunteer coordination here. It's not a job, I just do it on my free time."
"That's nice of you? How did you get involved with that kind of thing?"
He looked at me intently for a moment, and then he sighed and seemed to drop the mild attitude he was carrying. "Uh, I knew the Chief of Staff here, and he asked me to come in and sing with the kids, so I did. It sort of became a thing, and I started spending more time here, and they just gave me more things to do," he explained softly.
"So, how's your dad?" I asked hesitantly. I only asked because even though it had been years, that guy still freaked me out and I hated the idea of living in the same city as him again.
"My dad?" he asked confused.
"Yeah, I met him once at the fish market. He was an acquaintance of my dad's and he introduced us."
"Oh, you mean Aaron," he said strangely.
"Yeah, your dad."
"Oh, I haven't seen him in a few years," he said peculiarly.
"You haven't seen your dad in a few years?" I asked incredulously.
"Yeah, we had a falling out."
"What kind of a falling out could possibly make you not speak to your father for years at a time?"
"He just did something that was….unforgivable. I just couldn't stay with him anymore, so I left."
"Oh," I said surprised, and decided to drop the subject. He obviously wasn't comfortable talking about it, so I wasn't about to push him, but I was relieved to know that I wouldn't be running into Aaron at the store or anything.
"Mr. Cullen, your father would like you to stop by his office before you leave today," a woman told Edward as she walked by.
"Ok, thanks."
"Didn't you just say you haven't seen your father in a while?" I asked him.
"Oh, well I haven't. She wasn't taking about my real father. Carlisle Cullen is the Chief of Staff here, and he told everyone that I was his son."
"Why would he tell them that?" I asked, but Edward looked at me like I was being too intrusive, so I smiled at him sheepishly. "Sorry, I know I'm being nosey."
"No, it's fine. Carlisle and his wife Esme, run a home for teens and young adults who don't have anywhere else to go. A guy that I knew had heard of them, and we went to the home just looking to crash for a few nights, but even though that guy left, I just connected with the people there, and I've been with his family ever since."
"So, you took their last name?"
"I just wanted to start over, and people here respect the Cullen name, so I just thought it made sense."
"Well, what do you do for a living then, if you only volunteer here?" I asked curiously.
"Um," he looked at his wrist watch. "I really need to be going."
"Oh, right. Well, thanks for the tour, and…I hope to see you around."
Edward seemed to be avoiding making eye contact with me, but as he was about to leave, he looked at me again and the intensity of his stare almost knocked me off of my feet. Even though we had met before, I never felt such a strong connection so quickly with anyone.
Edward had changed since high school. His hair was much shorter, and his whole face was clearly visible, but his biggest change seemed to be internally. He was much friendlier to people around him, and even though he still seemed guarded, he was much calmer and self-assured.
As I watched Edward walk away, I had a rush of regret wash over me. I felt like there was so much I wanted to say to him, and yet I had no idea what any of it was. But perhaps I always felt a strange connection to him. When I first heard him sing, and when he'd say the strangest stuff in class, and even when he'd hum quietly to himself. Edward was an enigma, and though it had been years, his puzzling personality was just as intriguing to me as ever.
I spent that whole week trying to get my bearings at the hospital. There was no warming up time; I was just thrown right into the mix of things, but I was grateful for it. The last thing I wanted was another monotonous job, so the organized chaos was a welcomed relief.
I usually packed my meals because the cafeteria was just awful, but I didn't have time one day, and I was forced to buy my lunch. I grudgingly went to the cafeteria on my break, and my heart actually skipped a beat when I saw Edward there. Just like when we were in high school, he was eating alone in the far corner, but we weren't high school anymore and we didn't have the superficial social barriers stopping me from approaching him.
"Hey, is this seat taken?" I asked him.
He looked up at me surprised, and although he didn't look particularly thrilled about the idea of eating with me, he didn't stop me from sitting.
"I was starting to think that we weren't going to run into each other again," I said to him.
"I'm only here on Thursdays, unless there's a specific event planned," he explained.
"Oh." Edward and I ate in awkward silence, but I kept glancing at him because he seemed like he had something he wanted to say.
"So, what do you do…other than volunteer?" I asked finally.
"Uh, a few things."
"Like what?"
"Well, I work at the home with Carlisle a lot, but other than that…." he let his sentence trail off.
I was about to ask him more mundane questions, when he finally asked me a question.
"So, how have you been? You planned to go to Washington State or something like that, right?"
"Uh, yeah, it didn't really work out. But I've been lucky mostly."
"Really?" he seemed surprised by my comment, "why?"
"Uh, my life hasn't exactly turned out as planned, but I wouldn't change anything."
Edward stared at me intensely again, almost as if he was trying to see through me or maybe even read my mind or something.
"What? Do I have something on my face?" I asked self-consciously.
"No. You're just different than how I expected," he said.
"How so?"
"I don't know, just different."
"Well, you're different as well."
"Huh? Oh, yeah well, my hair is shorter."
"No, it's more than that. You just seem so much more relaxed. You're not so fidgety anymore and I haven't heard you hum yet," I teased.
"No, I haven't hummed that song since that day when we both agreed to stop," he said with a crooked smile.
"That's too bad," I said without thinking.
"Why?"
"It was a strange choice of song, but…it was nice."
"I think you could classify most of the things I did back then as strange."
"At least you can admit it," I said with a grin.
"Of course I admit it, I knew I was strange back then, just like I know that I'm strange now. I've accepted it, and now I've moved on."
"I think its good being strange, normal is boring."
"That's not true. You seem pretty normal, and I can't imagine you ever being boring."
I had to laugh at that.
"What's so funny?" he asked.
"I'm the epitome of boring, trust me."
"I doubt that," he said humorlessly.
"Oh, look. My lunch break is over and I didn't even eat anything," I said wishing that I had another hour with Edward.
"I need to be going too, but it was good to talk to you," he said while his eyes burrowed into mine.
"Yeah, you too," I said sincerely.
I went back to work, but I couldn't get Edward out of my mind. I even found myself looking around, hoping I'd get a glance of him as I did my rounds. It was a strange irrational feeling, but I just couldn't push it away either. I wanted to talk to him again, and that desire only grew the longer I went without crossing paths with him. Eventually that want turned into a need of sorts, so I waited for a Thursday and then sought him out.
I looked on the hospital directory, and found the volunteer offices, and knocked lightly.
"Come in," he said, so I slowly pushed open the door. He didn't look up at me right away, he was busy writing something in a folder, so I cleared my throat and he lifted his eyes to mine. "Bella, hey, what can I do for you?"
"Uh, well, I wanted to set up a volunteer event thingy," I said uncomfortably.
"Ok, how so?"
"Well, my daughter is a girl scout, and she needs to do so many hours of volunteering, so I thought I could have her little troop come in here and do…something with the long term patients."
"You have a daughter?" he asked surprised.
"Uh, yeah," I said awkwardly.
He was quiet for a moment, almost like he was having a hard time digesting the fact that I was a mother, but then he nodded.
"Ok, yeah. We've had children's groups come in before and sing for the recovery floor, or even do art time with some of the elderly. It all depends though, girl scouts are usually what, like five, six years old?"
"Well, yeah they can be. I think they start at five, but my daughter's troop are all seven and eight."
Edward seemed surprised, and maybe uncomfortable.
"You-ah…you had your daughter pretty young then, huh?" he said with faux casualness.
"Oh, yeah. She was born a few days before my eighteenth birthday."
Edward seemed to almost go into a strange trance, but I needed to get back to work, so I tried to snap him out of it.
"Um, so what do you think?" I asked him.
"Huh?" he seemed confused, and he actually started fidgeting and tapping his finger anxiously, which reminded me of the way he was in school.
"About my daughter's girl scout troop coming to volunteer?" I said slowly.
"Oh, right, I'll have to look over the schedule and get back to you on that one." He closed the folder he had been writing in, and stood up and just walked past me, out the door, and down the hall. It was very strange and the fact that he didn't say bye in any way, just made the whole encounter that much weirder. I had thought that he grew out of that kind of oddity, but perhaps I just hadn't spent enough time with him to make that assessment.
Edward said he'd get back to me with an answer but I never heard from him, so the following Thursday, I went back to his office. Like the previous week, I knocked and someone said "come in," but it wasn't Edward.
"Uh, hi. Is Edwa…uh, is Mr. Cullen around?" I asked the woman.
"Oh, no, I'm sorry, he doesn't work here anymore. Is there something I could help you with?" she asked kindly.
I felt a strange twinge in my stomach, and I became very upset that Edward was gone, though I had no idea why I felt that way.
"Uh, I needed to organize a time when my daughter's scout troop can come in to volunteer," I said mechanically.
"Oh, well I can help you with that; I'm a great event planner. I'm Alice Cullen, by the way."
"Um, Bella Swan," I introduced myself. "Culled? Are you Edward's…" I was going to ask 'wife' but then I realized that wasn't likely.
"Sister," she said. "Well adoptive anyway. I just took over here for him because he's busy with his real job." She said 'real job' with an almost mocking tone.
"What does he do for a living?" I prodded.
"Oh, he actually does a few things. He's a book editor for the Washington Publishing House, and he also is a song writer, which actually makes him the most money. He sold a song last month that more than paid his year's worth of salary at his editing job."
"Wow…good for him," I said impressed. I knew Edward was a talented musician, but the fact that he was a book editor, which is what I had wanted to be, actually threw me for a loop.
"Oh, I did it again, didn't I?"
"Did what?" I asked confused.
"I don't even know you and I just ran my mouth again. Edward really doesn't like people knowing about the song writing thing. I think it embarrasses him."
"Oh, well, we don't exactly see each other socially and he doesn't work here anymore, so I really don't think you have to worry."
"Ok, good. So, let's figure out the best thing for you to sign up your daughter's troop for."
After deciding on a date and time, I thanked Alice and went back to work. I really liked Alice, but I was so disappointed that Edward was gone that it actually upset me more than I ever expected it to. I spent the next few weeks actually semi-obsessing about my lack of contact with Edward, but finally I just couldn't take it anymore. My feelings for the guy I hardly knew, were confusing and unfounded, so I pushed them away and tried to forget about him.
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