Chapter 7

I see Jordan at school,

"Hey babe!" he says, " Let's go to a movie tonight."

"But there are no good movies out. Besides, I promised Aria, Spencer, Hanna, and Emily that we could have our girls night tonight."
"Cambria!" Jordan exclaimed, he sounded exasperated.

"Jordan, we haven't done this in a while and I never get to see my friends anymore!"

"Whatever, Cambria. Do what you want," he said in a flat voice, then started to walk away.

I hate it when he does this, he tells me to do something but I know that he doesn't want me to.

"Jordan, wait! Let's go to a movie, they'll just have to do it without me," I sigh, I don't want them to do it without me but keeping Jordan happy was, sadly, more important than keeping my best friends happy.

"I'm glad that you finally came to your senses, Cam," he gives me a quick side hug before turning and leaving for class.

After History, I run into Spencer.

"Hey, Spence!"

"Hi. So the girls are going to come over to my place at 5. Is that alright with you?" she asks.

"Actually, no. I can't come tonight. Some stuff has come up. Family stuff." I add quickly.

"Oh, um ok. Is everything alright? Is Lily alright?" she asks.

"She's fine. I'm fine. I gotta go." I tell her.

Later that night Jordan picks me up and we go to our movie. It's some action movie with a train wreck and an FBI agent and a dumb plot line and I almost fall asleep but Jordan turns to me and kisses me. Makes out would be the appropriate word. And I don't know how I feel about that. The movie theater is pretty full and it's a pretty sloppy kiss, but I pretend to be into it, for Jordan's sake.

After the movie we get into Jordan's car.

"So, how'd you like the movie?" he asks me.

"Um, it was good. Very action-y." I honestly have no idea what to say about it. Jordan knows I hate action movies, but he loves them and I do not want to put a damper on his mood.

"Action-y? Very nice vocabulary, Cambria." he laughs. Oh god, he has the most beautiful laugh. It fills up the room and instantly makes you smile. And in that moment all the tension, all the fear that I have leaves. In that moment we are a normal couple who do normal things like laugh. that moment feels so good, so pure, so warm.

"Let's go to my house for a bit then I can take you home, ok?" Jordan asks.

"I'd go anywhere with you honey," I look up at him and say.

Once we arrive he takes me up to his room. I don't think anything of it. I've been in his room loads of times. We sit on his bed, and he starts kissing me, passionatly. Something feels off, forced even. I know what's going on, I'm lying down now. I know what will happen next.

"Stop," my voice comes out as a surprise to me, but I know that that's what I was thinking.

Jordan stops, he looks up at the celing. His face is etched with frustration and something I can't read.

"I just can't keep you happy can I, Cambria?"

"Wha-What do you mean?

"It's been 6 months!"

"5 1/2," I say in a voice that is barely a whisper.

"Lots of girls would be happy to be with me this way, Cambria. But you're not. What is your deal?"

"It's not you Jordan. It's not like that,"

"Well then, can you please explain what it is because I'm not getting it!"

"I'm not ready," I say in a small voice, the voice of a weak person.

I'm sitting cross-legged on the bed with Jordan towering over me. I have the urge to get up and leave but I know that will make him even angrier than he already is.

"You can just go, Cam. I don't want to see your fat ass anymore."

"You're my ride, Jordan."

As we drove in silence tears welled up in my eyes. Jordan knew how the exact way to upset me. I'd told him that ever since I quit dance (on his orders) and started eating lots of junk food and carbs, I'd gained five pounds. I know it's not a lot, but I'm built bigger and curvier anyway, so I can't afford to gain that weight. Jordan knew exactly what would hurt me, he knows exactly how to cut me to the core.