Thank you for all of the wonderful name suggestions! I think I've chosen one, but you'll have to wait until the baby is born to find it out. )
I'd also like to address a Guest review that I received, which indicated that they were disappointed about Katniss's diminishing role in the rebellion. In the original Mockingjay book Katniss was a reluctant hero. She only agreed to become the Mockingjay in order to spare Peeta from possible trial and execution as a traitor. She would have preferred to stay behind the scenes. In my story Peeta is with her so she doesn't have the fear of him being punished hanging over her, but she feels a sense of obligation to help the people who rescued her from the Quell arena. However, she is pregnant here, and no matter how much she wants to help her active role will be diminished due to the pregnancy, both for logistical reasons and because of Peeta's insistence. Her role will be no less important though. :)
KPOV
I can sense the bright lights and smell the disinfectant even before I open my eyes. My lower right leg is stinging and my head is throbbing. I can feel the pressure of the fluid tubes running into my arms. I must be back in the hospital.
I blink open my eyes and turn my head, feeling another twinge of pain race across my temples. As my vision clears I can make out Peeta sitting in a chair next to my bed. He's still dressed in his Mockingjay uniform, which is covered in grime and dust. His face is dusty too, but it's smeared, like he tried to brush it away with his hands. He's holding my hand, but his jaw is clenched and his eyes are fixed on one of the monitors.
"Peeta," I say tentatively.
He inhales sharply, like I've startled him, but doesn't otherwise move. He just keeps staring at the monitor like he didn't hear me. I repeat his name, and his fingers interlaced with my own twitch a little but still he doesn't move. Finally, after a couple more minutes of silence, he clears his throat. "You were right," he says quietly, like he's trying to control his temper.
"About what?" I ask. I'm so confused and frustrated already by his cold and distant behavior that if my head wasn't pounding I'd probably be yelling at him by now, and I've never yelled at him in anger.
He finally turns his head to look at me, and the expression in his blue eyes makes me gasp. They look tired, but more importantly they look scared. And angry. In all that we've been through, I've never seen a look quite like this in his eyes before.
"The baby's a boy," he says, and I can feel his hand that's holding mine start to tremble as his lower lip starts to quiver, causing my heart to pound like it's trying to escape out of my chest.
"Peeta," I choke. "Is he okay? Please tell me he's okay!"
His eyes finally soften a little. "Yes," he says as a sob escapes his throat and his fingers tighten around mine. "Yeah, he's fine." I let out a ragged breath as Peeta brings my hand up to his lips. Then he leans closer to me. Close enough for me to smell the dust and grime on him. I see his eyes flick back up to the monitor for a second before looking intently into my own.
"Your mom couldn't find his heartbeat, Katniss," he says, his voice quavering. "You passed out in my arms once we got back onto the hovercraft, and Gale had to dig out a three inch piece of shrapnel from your leg. Your mom was waiting for us when we got back here. She tried for fifteen minutes to find the baby's heartbeat, and she couldn't. She couldn't find it! So they finally grabbed that ultrasound machine to see what was going on, and apparently he was just hiding in the corner or something, like he'd been scared. And I can't really blame him. I can't imagine how loud all those explosions were to his little ears. But he's alive, and he's okay."
"Oh my God," I whisper as tears drip out of my eyes. "So how do you know he's a boy?"
The slightest of smiles appears on Peeta's lips. "Well, let's just say I'll have to have a talk with him someday about his lack of modesty."
A laugh forces its way from my chest, making my head twinge in pain. "Oh!" I say. "Like you're one to talk about modesty, Mr. I-don't-care-if-you-see-me, while we're in the middle of the freaking Hunger Games!"
Peeta smirks and tilts his head. "Well, still. He looked very proud of himself in there, scaring me to death and then just lounging around like nothing was wrong." Then his expression turns serious again. "But seriously Katniss, what the hell were you thinking, running away from me like that while we were under attack?"
I turn my head away, unable to look into his accusatory gaze. He's right of course. I could've easily been injured much worse than I was. Or even killed, which would've killed our son as well. Peeta has every right to be upset.
"I don't know," I whisper. "I was just so angry, Peeta. Those people in that hospital were innocent, they were just people who were injured. And the Capitol attacked them! And little Jonathan... now he's dead! He was only a little boy, Peeta! I just got mad and I wanted to hurt them back for a change."
Peeta leans even closer and turns my face to look at him. "That's all well and good, Katniss. And your desire to want to help people is one of the many things I love about you. But you have to remember that your actions don't only effect you anymore. You have to think about me, and about our son now. He needs you, Katniss. And I-". He stops talking as he scrubs at his eyes with his palm, smearing more of the grime around his face. "I'm not... I'm not strong-" and he cuts off as he breaks down sobbing, clutching my hand to his lips.
I lean over and run my fingers through his messy hair. "What do you mean, you're not strong?" I say gently. "You're one of the strongest people I've ever known!"
He shakes his head, my hand still pressed to his lips. "No," he whispers. "I'm not. I'm not strong enough to lose you again. Back in the cave during our Games, when I woke up and you were lying in a pool of your own blood. And then at the end of the Quell-". He breaks off as another wave of sobs overtakes him. I can feel tears pouring down my own cheeks as my fingers move through his hair.
"I can't do that anymore, Katniss," he chokes. "I can't go through that again. If I ever lost you again, I wouldn't survive it." He places his other hand over my belly. "You, and him, you're all I have."
I nod my head slowly, so as to keep it from throbbing again. "Okay Peeta," I say. "I'm so sorry, I didn't think..."
He kisses my hand again. "I know you didn't. You don't think sometimes, you just act. That's probably a good instinct to have when you're a hunter. But right now I need you to not be a hunter. I need you to not be a Mockingjay. I need you to be just Katniss. I need you to be my wife and our son's mommy. And that means I need you to stay here, where you'll be out of danger. Which means..." and his voice gets louder as I open my mouth to speak. "Which means I can't have you going on any more missions. We have a meeting in an hour with President Coin and the whole group from yesterday, and I want to tell them that they can send me out again if they want, but you're not going anywhere anymore. Not until this whole thing is over."
My mouth, which was open in anticipation of trying to argue with him, clamps shut. It's on the tip of my tongue to tell him no, that I should continue to go on missions, that we should continue to be seen together. That I don't want to be left behind if he has to leave. That I want to stay with him, to protect him. But as I look into his beautiful blue eyes, shimmering with tears and pleading with me to hear him, I bite the words back and nod my head.
"Okay," I say. Peeta's eyebrows raise in surprise. He probably thought he'd have a longer argument to have to make. But I won't argue with him anymore. "Okay. We'll tell Coin exactly that when we get there."
Peeta's lips stretch into a smile. "Yeah?" he says.
I smile back at him. "Yeah. You're right." And then the smile drops from my face as I reach up to rub his dirty cheekbone. "I'm so sorry for scaring you like that."
He leans into my hand and closes his eyes. "Just as long as you never do it again, okay?"
"Okay."
Just then the door to my room bursts open and O'Connor and my mother come inside. "Ah, she's finally awake," O'Connor says as she walks over to me and adjusts one of the tubes running into my scarred right arm. "Let's see if you can eat now, shall we?"
"What time is it?" I ask as my mother moves my blankets aside to examine my stomach.
"It's almost 8 am," Mom says, as she pulls her Doppler out and places it on my belly. Almost immediately the sound of our son's heart beating fills the room and I see Peeta's shoulders slump in relief. "We can remove the external heart monitor now," Mom says to O'Connor. "I can find him easily on the Doppler again." Then she turns to Peeta with a stern look on her face. "And when were you planning on telling me that you two were going off on a mission to another district? There's no way I would've cleared Katniss to go if I'd known about this ahead of time."
Peeta and I look at each other guiltily. Neither one of us even thought to mention any of this to my mom. "I'm so sorry," Peeta says to her. "I guess it just slipped both our minds."
Mom's expression softens a little. "I know you do an excellent job of taking care of her, Peeta," she says. "But I'd still like to be told when she's being taken out of the district from now on."
"You won't have to worry about that," I say. "Peeta's made it clear that I won't be going on any more missions for a while."
"Well good," Mom says as she straightens the blankets back over me. "Then he and I are in agreement. And now, Peeta, I think you should go and get cleaned up while Katniss has something to eat."
Peeta blinks at the abrupt dismissal, but doesn't protest. "I'll just go shower and change real quick," he says. Then he bends down to kiss my forehead and reaches behind him, pulling out a pair of crutches before standing up and hobbling out of the room.
"Why's he on the crutches again?" I ask my mom as O'Connor starts to remove the IV tubes from my arms and drags the little table over to my bed.
"He said he got stuck under a piece of falling debris during the bombing in Eight," Mom replies. "Crushed the foot of his prosthetic leg. Beetee's working to repair it now, but Katniss," and her voice takes on the stern quality again. "Katniss, I've never seen him so upset as he was when I couldn't find the baby's heartbeat. You can't do that to him again, do you understand me? He stayed here all night while you slept, sitting in that chair and watching the baby's heart monitor."
I slump my head against the pillows. "Yeah, I understand," I whisper. "We've already talked about it."
"Hmm," Mom says. "He wasn't the only one upset, either. I had to send Prim out of the room while we were working on you."
"Okay, I get it," I say impatiently. I've definitely had enough of this conversation. "I've already said that I'm done going on missions, okay?"
She cups my face with her hand then. "I'm not trying to make you feel guilty," she says. "I just want you to understand how much you mean to a lot of people."
I nod my head gingerly as O'Connor returns with my breakfast tray, which is just a disappointing cup of warm milk and two small pieces of bread. "If you're able to hold this down, I'll clear you to eat the regular meals from now on," Mom says.
I take a bite of the bread, wishing so badly that I could transform it into one of Peeta's cheese buns. "And when can I leave here?" I ask.
"We'll see how you tolerate this meeting you need to attend," Mom replies.
Peeta comes back into the room as I finish eating, his face scrubbed clean and his blond hair still damp from his shower. Now that all the dust and grime has been washed from his face I can see just how tired and drained he looks.
"You need a nap," I tell him as he leans down for a kiss.
He smirks at me. "Thanks," he says sarcastically.
"You guys ready to go?" Gale's voice says from the doorway. "They're ready for us down in Command."
I grab Peeta's shirt and pull him back down for another kiss, winking at him as he pulls away. "Yeah, we're ready," I say as I slide my legs over the side of the bed. I immediately lean back against the pillows as a wave of dizziness washes over me.
"Katniss, maybe we should wait," Peeta says. "I think you should rest a bit more-"
"She'll be fine," Gale says, pushing a wheelchair over to me. "She can ride in this."
I scowl at him, not really wanting him around right now, especially with Peeta giving him a death glare behind his back, but somehow I think it'll just cause more trouble if we refuse. I slide into the wheelchair and Gale pushes me while Peeta hobbles along on his crutches next to me. We reach Command and find the camera crew and Plutarch already seated.
"Ah!" Plutarch exclaims. "Our stars have arrived! Just wait until you see what we've put together!"
Peeta grimaces as he takes the seat next to the wheelchair just as Coin and Boggs come into the room. I'm surprised to see Boggs wearing some kind of brace over his nose and his eyes looking swollen. Peeta looks down sheepishly when he sees him.
"Did you do that?" I whisper to him.
"Yeah," he replies. "He was, um, trying to stop me from going after you, and I got a little upset about it."
I squeeze his hand sympathetically as Coin calls the meeting to order. "The film crew has put together the first of our series of propos that we're calling our Airtime Assaults. Beetee was able to get this propo aired yesterday for the first time at 2200, and it has aired seven times since then. We've been able to reach every single district. For those of you who haven't had a chance to see it, we'll begin by replaying it."
It really is a masterpiece, especially given the limited amount of time the crew had to put it together before its first airing last night. A voice-over, emphasizing the real-life love story of the District 12 Star-Crossed Lovers is first, using the voice of Claudius Templesmith of all people to provide narration for the piece. Then there's footage of Peeta and me walking through the hospital and talking with the patients, including little Jonathan. Then the camera cuts to an explosion as the first of the bombs hit the warehouses surrounding the hospital, and footage of the hospital collapsing in on itself. I feel Peeta squeezing my hand tightly when I'm shown climbing up the ladder and shooting my explosive arrow at the two hoverplanes, causing them both to crash. Now that I can see it, it really does look reckless of me, as that roof I was standing on could've collapsed at any time. The propo ends with Peeta's impassioned speech about uniting together, and the screen fades to black as the word UNITE appears in fancy block letters.
"And this aired in every district?" I ask. "What about the Capitol?"
"Not in the Capitol," Plutarch replies. "We haven't been able to override their system yet, but Beetee says he's close to it. But it did air in every district, including Two, which may be even more valuable than the Capitol right now."
Everyone is so excited about the outcome of this propo that no one seems to remember how many people actually died yesterday. Or the fact that Peeta broke the nose of one of our guards in order to run after me, which obviously wasn't in the game plan.
Finally President Coin reaches the end of her tolerance for the frivolity at the table and clears her throat. "Yes, all these congratulations are well deserved, and the message seems to be having the desired effect, from what Madge has told us about the feel in the districts following the airings. But the question now is, what do we do next?"
There's a moment of silence in the room as everyone looks around at each other. "Well," Plutarch finally says. "I guess we have to decide now where we should go next."
"Well, see, that's just it," Peeta breaks in. "Katniss and I have decided that she's not going on anymore missions like that. So you'll just have to make due with the footage of her that you've gotten already."
I glance around the table expecting to hear protests. But surprisingly there are none, not even from Gale. Finally Boggs speaks up. "I agree with Peeta," he says, his voice off slightly from the brace over his nose. "I think we were a bit arrogant to think that we could get in and out of there yesterday completely unscathed, and it might not be the best idea to have both of our Mockingjays always in the same place. We might get more mileage out of them if we do separate propos."
"As long as Katniss is kept here, where she's out of danger," Peeta says. "You can still send me places if you need to, but not Katniss."
"But I don't want you going anywhere without me," I say quickly, ignoring the pointed look on Peeta's face. "Why can't we just both do more of the propos here?"
Plutarch looks like he's thinking hard. "Yes," he says, tapping the eraser of his pencil on the table. "I am rather concerned about how the Capitol knew that they should attack Eight yesterday, especially since they had so little to gain by bombing a hospital full of wounded people. So perhaps lying lower for a little while would be better, to see if we can flush out any possible communication leaks."
My eyebrows fly up at the thought of there potentially being a spy somewhere in Thirteen, reporting our every movement back to the Capitol. I don't know why it hadn't crossed the minds of the others in this room before. Surely someone like Coin or Boggs would've thought of that?
"Okay, that's even more reason for Katniss to stay here," Peeta says. "Beetee, you're sure that your signals aren't being picked up by the Capitol somehow? Madge, you're sure that all of your district reps are loyal?"
Both Madge and Beetee nod their heads after a moment. "Nothing of course is foolproof," Beetee says. "And I will go over everything with a fine-tooth comb once we leave here, but right now I can't imagine how anyone else could piggyback onto our signals."
"All right then," Coin says. "So what do we do next?"
Cressida looks down at a piece of paper in front of her. "We still have some great footage of Katniss and Peeta from the hospital in Eight that we haven't used yet. I thought we could intercut that with some footage of the reapings from their Games, especially the Quell reaping, because it shows how little the Capitol values the lives of people in the districts. Then we thought we could prepare a piece with a different feel, showing some of Katniss and Peeta's best moments from their Games. For example, when Peeta showed mercy instead of killing that tribute from Eight, and how Katniss was allied with tributes from other districts in both of her Games. That would fit well with the UNITE theme."
"What about airing a show to honor all of the recent fallen tributes?" Rye pipes up. I'd almost forgotten he was in the room with us, he'd been so uncharacteristically quiet. "Like Rue from Eleven, and Cecelia from Eight. You guys could come up with something personal for each district, couldn't you?"
"Yes!" Plutarch exclaims as Messalla starts scribbling on his ever-present notepad. "I love that idea, it's brilliant!"
"Very well," Coin says. "It sounds like we all have a lot of work to do, let's get started on it." And she stands up and sweeps out of the room.
Gale wheels me back down to the hospital with Peeta following along on his crutches. I end up falling asleep for the next several hours, missing lunch and the delivery of Peeta's repaired prosthesis from Beetee. After that Mom decides that I should stay through the night for observation, but does allow Peeta to crawl into the bed with me after we both eat dinner. He's just cuddled up next to me with his palm resting on my belly when the overhead television clicks on. At first it's a replay of the propo that we saw earlier. Then a new propo follows, which is one using the footage from our reapings. I bury my face into Peeta's neck when the Quell reaping comes on, not wanting to watch the part where Peeta gets bashed in the back of his head by the Peacekeeper. I hope all the people that see this one understand how horrible it was.
The propo ends and the screen fades to black. I'm just relaxing my body against Peeta's and closing my eyes when we hear the TV click on again, and the seal of Panem appears for a few seconds before the image of Caesar Flickerman fills the screen. Like last time, the three Victors from the Career districts are sitting with him, and although they look as perfectly styled and groomed as before, it's obvious that Gloss has lost some weight, as his collar seems looser around his neck and he's fidgeting uncomfortably. Enobaria looks as healthy and dangerous as ever, but poor Annie seems so nervous that the slightest noise seems to spook her and she keeps pulling painfully on her long, auburn hair. I feel Peeta's arms tighten around me as the interview begins.
"So tell me," Caesar says, directing his words at the three Victors. "Today we saw a program that seems to indicate that Katniss Everdeen did in fact survive the Quarter Quell, and, that she and Peeta Mellark are working for the rebels. Do any of you have any response to that? What sort of motivation would either of them have to help these rebels?"
Gloss pulls gingerly on his suit collar, but Enobaria cuts in before he can start to speak. "Well Caesar," she says. "It's obvious that these young Victors are being used to whip up the rebels. The enemy is taking advantage of the popularity of the Star-Crossed Lovers ploy to use them to further their cause. I doubt Katniss and Peeta could even comprehend what's being asked of them, or what's going on in the war."
"I'm so glad she has such a high opinion of our intelligence," Peeta says sarcastically.
"Well, we are from District 12, remember," I reply. "The smallest, the poorest, and probably thought of as the stupidest of the districts."
"That's such an interesting theory!" Caesar exclaims on the television. "Thank you so much for sharing your clever thoughts with us tonight, Enobaria." He sweeps his arm across the three Victors. "Do any of you have anything to add to Enobaria's statement?"
Annie looks down at the cuticle that she's been picking at during the last part of the interview, but Gloss surprises us by looking directly into the camera. "Yes," he says. "If I could, I'd tell them to not be foolish, and to try and think for themselves. That they're being used as weapons. And if they want to live happily ever after in their Star-Crossed Lovers way, then they should ask themselves if they can really trust the people that they're working with."
Something about his words makes my stomach drop. It seems like too much of a coincidence that this Victor in the Capitol would question whether or not Peeta and I can trust the people that are directing this rebellion, right after the question of a potential communications leak was raised earlier today. I can feel my teeth clenching. Peeta and I had been overheard for months in our bugged home in Twelve without our knowledge. Who's to refute the possibility that our conversations are still being recorded? That we are still being watched? Is there really anyone that we can truly trust? I turn my face back into Peeta's chest as he kisses the top of my head. Was there really no place in Panem where we could just live our lives? Where we could be just Katniss and Peeta, and not the Star-Crossed Lovers from the Hunger Games?
As always, I love reviews! Please let me know what you think! :)
