Sorry sorry sorry its been sooooooooooo long for this chapter, i've had a hell of a time writing it i can tell ya! But (fingers crossed!) hopefully the next one won't take me so long. Thanks to Hannah (cookiemunster) for sticking with me and being lovely, as well as Fwoggeh, Kenzie and Suuntavaisto, thank you all!

After a delicious breakfast of homemade croissants, they were due to reassemble downstairs, ready to set off. Tara was examining a map almost as big as she was, with Naboo looking over her shoulder, and Howard and Bollo were examining the leaflets in a stand on a nearby table. Well, Howard was trying to examine them at least, but his French wasn't exactly top-notch, which made it rather difficult. Bollo was just looking at the pictures.

Vince finally emerged, wearing a plum-coloured satin shirt, pink feather boa, red cowboy hat and tight white trousers. He looked rather dazed.

'What's up with you?' asked Howard, bemused.

'I had a vision of her in my sleep last night' said Vince dreamily, gently stroking the leaves of a spider plant, which, from the angle Howard was standing at at least, was startlingly similar to Vince's hair.

Howard shook his head in despair. 'It's called a dream Vince. And who are you on about?'

'Dèsirèe' he smiled.

'Really?' Howard replied, before muttering thoughtfully 'me too'

Vince looked at him. What was Howard doing dreaming of Dèsirèe? She was obviously interested in him…. Vince shrugged it off. Nah, he probably thinks he still stands a chance with her, delusional as usual. He shouldn't be in any doubt by the time she sees me in this outfit though. The combination of silky and fluffy? Never fails!

'Oh, you've emerged then' said Tara, finally noticing the presence of Vince. Though how she could've missed him in that outfit is a mystery.

'What are you two chattering about?'

'We both dreamed of Dèsirèe last night.'

'So did I' said Bollo, as did Naboo. They weren't puzzled, as perhaps they should've been, so much as smiling slightly at the memories of their dreams.

'Hang on, what are all of you doing dreaming about her? I'm obviously the one she's interested in.' said Vince.

'They were probably dreaming of her for the same reason you were' said Tara. 'And I expect your dreams all followed the same theme, hmm?' she asked, raising an eyebrow.

All the lads looked sheepish. So much so that a passing ewe called Doris who was looking through the window fell instantly in love with Howard and hurried across the road to declare her undying love. After a whirlwind romance (so whirlwind in fact, that the others didn't even notice he was gone) he returned, wondering why the only females he could get were sheep.

'Shall we go then?' he said, hoping the others wouldn't ask why he looked so flustered.

So off they went, to pick up Dèsirèe, much to Tara's quiet dislike. They found her waiting outside the restaurant, wearing a long black flowing skirt, with a lacy scarlet vest top. Even Tara had to admit, she looked good.

'Hey there. Alright?' Vince greeted her.

'Allo everyone' she smiled. 'Vince, I love this, what you are wearing.' She said, gently touching his feather boa.

'Thanks' he smiled shyly.

'What would you all like to do today?' Dèsirèe asked.

'I thought we could take a ferry along the Seine to start off with, then move from there.' Said Tara.

'What.. a good idea' said Dèsirèe stiffly. She turned back to Vince. 'Your sister is very clever Vince.'

'Yeah' he replied, barely aware of what she'd said. His mind was on other things besides speech.

'At ze end of ze day I thought we would go up to ze top of ze Eiffel tower. Its is very romantic up there…' she purred.

'I bet it is' Vince smiled, not taking his eyes off her.

'Come on then!' said Tara with false brightness, pushing her way through the two of them and walking off towards the metro station. The others followed suit, Vince and Dèsirèe at the back, talking quietly.

Howard used the Northern Pins to their full extent to catch up with Tara. 'Hey there.'

'Hey Howard!' she smiled.

'You.. alright?' he asked.

She looked a little confused. 'yeah'

'Well, I just thought, because of, y'know, back there, with' he said (or, tried to say), indicating Vince and Dèsirèe.

'Oh right, yeah, I am. Thank you.'

'You really don't like her, do you?'

'No, I don't, but it doesn't really matter does it? We'll all be leaving next week, and Vince will forget all about her.'

'You don't think they'll stay in touch? They look pretty.. friendly… '

'Nah, Vince hasn't got the attention span for a long-distance relationship'

He managed to stay close to you thought Howard, but decided not to say so. 'You don't think you should at least try and be nice to her?'

She looked up at him pitifully. 'Do I have to?'

He laughed at her expression. 'I think you should try.'

'But this way's much more fun!'

'Yeah, but if she doesn't respond, then you'll look like the better person for trying.'

Tara considered this as they descended the steps to the metro station. 'I like your thinking…. You done something similar before?'

He looked shifty. 'Um, no'

She laughed quietly. As the others approached them, she decided to try Howard's advice. No matter how dirty it made her feel inside.

'Um, Dèsirèe? Could you come and order the tickets with me please? I'm not exactly sure what to say.'

It was a huge lie. And Dèsirèe's expression only made Tara feel worse

'Certainly.'

They walked over to the kiosk and began to order the tickets. Tara let Dèsirèe do it, but as soon as she made a mistake with where they wanted to go, she corrected her. Dèsirèe bristled, but let it pass. Damn thought Tara.

Dèsirèe meanwhile, chose to employ a different tactic. Namely, appealing to Vince.

'Vince.' She said quietly, once the metro tickets had been dished out. 'I do not think your sister is liking me very much.'

'Nah, its not that, I expect its just because she's not used to having another girl around. I'm sure she'd love you if she knew you like I do….' He stopped to gaze at her. She smiled coyly. 'Just give her a chance, yeah? Why don't you try talking to her a bit on the ferry in a minute?'

'Ok Vince, I shall try. For you.'

That girl sure knew what she was doing.

They managed to get a seat at the front of the relatively uncrowded ferry, and Tara put her bag on a seat next to Naboo.

'D'you mind keeping an eye on that please Naboo, I'm gonna be off taking photos'

'No problem' he smiled.

She walked off to the side of the ferry, and Vince nudged Dèsirèe after her.

'Bonjour' said Dèsirèe stiffly.

Tara turned to look at her. 'Oh. Hello' She went back to taking pictures.

Dèsirèe searched for something to say. '.. what are you photographing?'

Tara looked at her, then at the scenery she was rather obviously taking pictures of. She was about to make some sarcastic comment, such as 'giraffes practicing for Wimbledon', but then remembered what Howard had suggested to her. Be nice.

'Well, y'know, anything that catches my eye really' she replied, snapping some nearby architecture to emphasise the point.

'You take a lot of photographs then?'

'Yeah, like I said, whatever catches my eye. I sell what I can.' She looked to the front of the boat – they were fast approaching a bridge. Dèsirèe seemed about to say something, but Tara interrupted. 'Stay here, I'll be back in a minute.'

She hurried forward to the front of the boat, and lent back against the edge, so that she was almost horizontal. At this point, she was glad that she chose to wear jeans instead of a skirt, as she felt the gazes of the other passengers (except Vince, who turned as though hearing his name called, and waved at Dèsirèe) upon her, until it became clear what she was doing. She waited until the boat has passed under the bridge, and as soon as she reached the other side, took a picture of the gargoyle directly above her. On the way back to Dèsirèe, she crouched down a little behind Howard, Vince Naboo and Bollo, and took a picture of the back of their heads, with the Eiffel tower in the background. That should look good in black and white she smiled to herself as she reached Dèsirèe.

'Anyway, you were about to say something?' asked Tara, in the most casual and uncaring manner she could muster.

'Yes. Listen, I really care about Vince, and-'

Tara scoffed. 'No you don't'

'I beg your pardon?' asked Dèsirèe, trying to conceal her growing impatience and anger.

'You don't care about him.'

'what, how dare you, you don't know that-'

'Yes I do, its obvious from your eyes.'

Dèsirèe was thrown for a moment. 'My what?'

'Your eyes. They give you away, there's no feeling in them, not even when you look at Vince. You don't care about him at all'

Dèsirèe tried to interrupt, but Tara kept going.

'And I don't know what you want from him – although I could hazard a guess- but I'll find out, and in the meantime, you'd better not do anything to hurt him.'

Dèsirèe's eyes stared down at Tara with such rage that she was in fact a little intimidated, but she held her ground, and of course didn't let it show.

However, when Dèsirèe spoke, her tone was as cool as a cucumber which had recently returned from its trip to Lapland, and was now back at home in its fridge drawer.

'You know, I am thinking zat one day soon your nose will be poked in where it doesn't belong, and will make people un'appy.' She said the next bit rather more fiercely. 'Especially people who are sick of stupid little English girls thinking zey are more clever zen zey are, and talking about zat which zey 'ave no understanding!'

Dèsirèe was right up in her face now, and for a second Tara though she saw a flicker of red in her eyes, before realising that it must have been the reflection of the plastic chairs surrounding them.

The corners of Tara's mouth twisted upwards. 'We'll see.'

Dèsirèe backed off a little. 'I suppose you will be telling ze others of this?'

'No, I think this is a matter best left between us girls, don't you?' Tara replied, before walking off.

Vince found her a minute or so later, this time on the other side of the boat, laughing with a couple in their mid-forties. As he approached, he could hear that they were talking in French.

Tara noticed him and excused herself from the couple, smiling to him in greeting. (it was, after all, Dèsirèe whom she was displeased with, not Vince. After all, it wasn't his fault if he was interested in possibly the most despicable woman in Paris, who was totally false and rude to his little sister, who'd stuck with him through the worst of times, only to be pushed aside for this Parisian hussy, this French slut, this-) Tara shook herself out of it. It was Vince. And here he was now, coming to talk to her.

'Heya. I see you and Dèsirèe had a little chat then?'

Coming to talk to her about Dèsirèe.

'We… reached an understanding.' She said simply.

Vince seemed to take this as good news, and indicated the French couple Tara had been laughing with. 'I thought you were gonna teach me French?'

She smiled again. 'I was, but all you wanted to know was 'how much are these boots?' and 'some root booster please''

'I just didn't wanna learn any of the boring stuff.'

'Yeah, but the boring stuff is the important stuff. If you want to learn French, you have to know the fundamentals, how to formulate a sentence, conjugate a verb..'

'Conjugate a herb? I'm not cooking in French!'

'Verb, not herb you enormous muppet!' She laughed.

Vince chuckled a little at himself. 'I do know a bit of french though - Je deteste le brown, je suis un cup, je-'

'Just stop right there.' Tara halted him. 'Thats not french!'

'Yeah it is, its fake french'

'Vince, I think the use of the word 'fake' in its title 'fake french' might just hint at the fact that its not proper french...'

'It still counts'

'I think fake french only counts to impress people who don't actually know any french. And who have probably never even heard of the language.'

'Like Tatabob?'

'Who is Tatabob?'

'Tatabob's this guy right, whose made entirely out of bubble wrap, and he cant go outside because people will get excited and start popping him, so he has to sit in his cuboard all day, thinking about the mysteries of life. But he doesnt know that much about life, so its a pretty short stretch of thinking, so he asks me to come and talk to him about the outside world, and i speak fake french to him.'

Tara looked at him. 'You're loopy.'

'Yeah? Well madness is heriditary, just give it time.'

'Are you threatening me?'

Hope you all liked that. What did you think about using 'z's instead of 'th's for Desiree? I was worried about it looking naff the whole time I was writing it. Do you think I should stick with it in future, or just use 'th' like a sane person? Please tell me, otherwise the next chapter will just be a bizzarre mixture of both!

Please review, my yeti biatches!