AN: Trying to keep it manga friendly, I deterred from the original twist that this chapter. For the sake of my own sanity and funny bone, I included a short original omake to the end of this chapter showing how it was supposed to end. Let me know which you liked better?
Disclaimer: I don't own anything Fullmetal Alchemist related.
*Clap, clap, clap, clap...*
Ed turned around at the sound of someone clapping their hands. One rooftop over crouched down on the ledge was Greed, somehow back in his old body. He stood up and said, "Nicely done kid."
"What the fuck do you want Greed?" Ed spit out.
"Woh there kid, easy," Greed said with a pacifying motion of the hands, "I just stopped by to ask if you'd like to go on a date with me? This saves me the trouble of asking you to leave your boyfriend," He smirked.
"..." Edward was extremely confused about the situation at hand, "...At night?" He questioned skeptically.
"Well, I do live in the shadows kid," Greed responded nonchalantly, "So, will it be a yes or no?" He finished with a single raise of the brow.
Edward wasn't sure if he should label this as another fucked up sign from God that he was eternally damned, or if this was a sign that he was finally going crazy. Torn between flat out laughing, and a murderous rage waiting to be unleashed, Ed response turned out equally nonchalant, "...Well... I guess I've already dated one homunculus..." He took a breath, "Why not?"
"Great," Greed let out in a pleasant tone, his head tilting back a bit, "Follow me kid."
The two of them hopped into the alleyway together. Ed following his new... whatever. He wasn't entirely sure if he could handle even thinking about anything right now.
'Greed is almost casual to a fault, right... Maybe if I just pretend like nothings happened, I won't go crazy... At least for now... Yah, that sounds like a plan my mind can deal with. I mean, it's not like anything crazier then this is going to happen... right?'
After some traveling, the two of them were walking down the street towards the old Devil's Nest location. Ed looked at him with what could only be described as a 'seriously?' face. Greed put on a little smile and replied to the unspoken question, "Well, it brings back an old sense of nostalgia. The military's not even aware of my existence right now, let along my secret hideout."
Ed let out a sigh and shrugged his shoulders, following Greed inside. He turned down the offered alcohol, no matter how depressed he was at the moment he wouldn't walk down that path. He asked for some apple juice and hoped that the company would be decent enough not to hide himself away in his room once again. He had his doubts, outside of Mustang finding him and sending some sort of a squad to drag him back to work, that anyone would come for him.
Little did Ed know that there was a tiny bit of alcohol in the apple juice, after about three Ed and Greed where having a great time making fun of Mr. Eats-a-lot, the Romancer of Central, and the palm tree haired Rapist. Around one o'clock Ed realized just how late he had stayed and with the tiniest bit of swaying stood up.
Greed made a come here gesture with his finger, a big smirk on his face. Ed looked at him with distrust, so Greed cupped his hand to the side of his mouth as if to whisper something to him. Ed wasn't entirely capable of holding onto his distrust that night, so he leaned forward to hear what Greed wanted to tell him semi-privately.
Once he was in close enough, Greed leaned forward, his hand hiding his actions, and left a little peck on Edward's cheek. Ed blush went over his whole face at the action. He left quickly, going to Izumi's house to sleep there. Thankfully she was blissfully unaware of Ed's spontaneous reinstatement into the military and welcomed him into her house in her usual violent way.
The next day, Edward went back eventually, and Greed acted like nothing had happened the day before. They went for a walk through the pipe works building to get away from all the other people, Izumi and Sig, Greed's chimeras. Edward smiled as his memories of hiding from Izumi with Al rushed back to him.
When the day was over, Greed didn't even bother to walk Ed home. He just waved Ed off when he mention that it was getting close to dinnertime, and that Izumi would hunt him down for missing dinner. Overall it had been a pretty nice day.
That was how it went for about a week. Greed giving a surprise peck on the cheek every once and a while, but overall he let Ed do whatever he felt like doing. He didn't try to work his way onto Ed's good side, wasn't trying to force Ed's hand, and Edward really appreciated it.
Ed went out running and errand for Izumi one day, Greed had understood and just went off to do whatever he did during the daytime. Edward thought to himself how surprisingly sweet Greed could be, it was pretty weird. On his way down the road he briefly looked over in the familiar direction of the bar to see Greed, Martel, and some other girl who looked a bit slutty approach the door.
'Huh... that's weird. Did Loa and Dolcetto go inside already then?'
A flare of jealousy went up inside of him when Greed wrapped an arm around the slutty girl, who actually had the nerve to snuggle up into his embrace. When the door shut Edward marched over to a couple of guys that was standing watch at the door. They looked over to him and the cockier one spoke up.
"Greed's doing some business right now. You'll have to come back when he's done."
Edward clapped his hands together and pressed one up against the wall. A giant hand slammed the two of them into the opposite wall knocking them out. He moved for the door, kicking it in.
"WHAT THE FUCK!" What the first thing that was screeched out of Edward's lips. Greed was seated comfortably on the couch with his hand gently cupping Martel's cheek. One each side of him was four girls each looking to gain his attention. Greed looked over, a little upset looking but overall neutral.
"Greed..." Edward growled, "Who are they?" He pointed at the women surrounding him.
"What can I say Ed," He shrugged his shoulders, "I'm Greedy as hell." He smirked his wicked smirk.
Edward walked out of the Devil's Nest a bit worse for the wear. There where some cuts and a few bruises from his fight with Greed and his minions, but overall he was pretty well off. The sluts had run off at the first signs of violence, and Greed and his minions where incapacitated and ready to be haled off to prison.
Edward went up to the phone booth around the corner and called Mustang. The phone rang a few times before his board voice responded, "...Mustang."
'Must be working a bit late today, Hawkeye can sure be a slave driver when she wants to be...'
"Hey Roy..."
"Ed?" His voice sounded slightly concerned now, "Is something wrong? It's pretty late out."
"Yah... I ran into a homunculus..."
"Edward," He stated seriously, "Are you ok?"
"Yah, I'm fine Mustang." He shuffled his feet a bit nervously, "They're tied up, in cages, unconscious. I just need you to get over here and clean up."
"I'll be right over, where are you at?"
"The old Devil's Nest, it was Greed."
"Ok Ed, stay there. I want a report in person when I get there."
"...Fine." He hung up the phone and sat down on the curve.
'It shouldn't take them too long. I don't want to go back to Izumi's place looking like this anyway. ...She's going to kill me for not showing up for dinner...'
Omake Insert
~The Original End to this Chapter ~
Edward kicked down the door, "WHAT THE FUCK!"
Greed was sitting on the couch with his hand cupped around Martel's face, surrounded by about twenty other girls.
"Greed…" Edward growled out, "Who are they?"
"…Eh…What can I say…I'm Greedy."
Edward walked out of the Devil's Nest, walking straight for the phone booth around the corner.
It rang for a bit before a familiar board voice responded, "…Mustang"
"Hey Roy"
The voice suddenly took a worried tone, "Ed? Is something wrong? It's the middle of the night!"
"…Oh..." He twirled the cord around his finger and looked over his shoulder, "...just a murder scene..." Down the path he had come from a trail of bloody boot prints lead up to the phone booth, "I killed a homunculus and a few of his accomplices. (The women, lol.) I was just telling you so you could cover it up. It's at the old Devil's Nest."
"I'll take care of it then... Are you sure you're ok?"
"Yah I'm fine, just a few scratches."
"Edward, don't move. I mean it, we'll be right over."
"...Fine." He hung up the phone and sat down on the curve.
'It's not like I have anything better to do... right?'
