AN 1: Full title is 'The Friendly Friends Arrive! (As Opposed to the Not-Friendly Friends, Who Did Right to Stay Away)'

AN 2: Sorry this is so late in the day. I've been super sick the whole day, and dealing with that. But, I'm alive and keeping down crackers and water, so that's good enough to get this edited and posted! I hope you all enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do not own Xena.


"I still can't believe it's black."

"And I'm telling you for the third time, shush."

Xena had been the one to pick the color- an unorthodox choice, she knew, one that both her mother and the seamstress had reminded her of, but still she had chosen it, and both women had relented. The color suited her, and besides, when was the last time she had been innocent enough to wear white?

So the seamstress had relented, and had done a fabulous job with what she had been given. A dress that reached her ankles, it seemed to almost flow, hugging her curves even as it floated loosely from her body. Somehow, in the few days she had had to create the dress, the seamstress had even added in an embroidered design, reminiscent of her own armor, sewn from the neckline down, across her chest, ending at her waist where her own leather skirt would have started. Shifting from foot to foot, Xena nodded as it shifted with her- it almost felt as if she could go and fight someone in it, though part of her balked at the idea of taking such a beautiful piece into battle.

Looking back in the mirror, Xena smiled at the reflection of the seamstress behind her in approval. "It's beautiful," she said. "Thank you."

"Thank you, Xena," the old woman said, stepping forward to undo the hooks that kept the back closed. "I've always dreamed of making a dress for someone famous. I got to spend the last few days making two- one for you, and one for your bard. All I need to do is tweak the hemline- you're so tall- and it'll be done with plenty of time to spare. Hey, you, boy," she said, turning towards Hercules, snapping her fingers to get his attention. He had turned away when she had started to undo the back, attempting to preserve some of Xena's modesty. "Go get her leathers and her shift, and bring them here."

Hercules nodded and left the room, quickly gathering together Xena's things before returning, keeping his eyes firmly set on a far wall as he spoke. "You should get dressed quickly," Hercules said, gesturing towards the front door. "I can hear something going on outside, and we might be needed."

"Oh, good," Xena said, slipping out of the dress as the back was finished being undone and stepping into her shift, her fingers putting together the laces with practiced ease. "You heard it too. I was worried that your hearing was starting to go," she teased, sliding her leathers on like a second skin. "It didn't sound like anything bad- just someone we know."

Shaking the woman's hand and thanking her once again, Xena strapped on her weapons as she and Hercules left the seamstress', her mouth already quirking up into a smile as they made their way to the source of the noise.

She winced as she saw the butcher, one of the men who had trained her to fight with knives when she was little, standing over their idiot of a friend, who had tried to pick pocket the wrong person.

"Kadir," Xena called out as she approached, her smile wide and one hand held out in greeting. For a moment the butcher looked at her suspiciously, his eyes narrowing into thin slits before his mouth broke into a grin. Putting away the knife so he could take her hand, Xena pulled him into a half hug. "Kadir, it's good to see you."

"And you, Xena," the man said, his voice a deep rumble. "I take it this is one of yours?"

Xena bit back her laughter as she looked down at the man sitting at her feet, looking more embarrassed then harmed by the butcher's actions. When she held out her hand, he took it, dusting off his clothing as his mustache quivered in a mix of anger and humiliation. "Yeah," Xena said, sticking her other hand into Autolycus' pocket and pulling out the pouch of dinars she found there. "Unfortunately, but this one's saved my life quite a few times, so how about you cut him some slack? At least until after the wedding?"

"So long as you make him behave," Kadir said, taking the pouch from her. "But if he doesn't," he added, warningly, "then I might have to start cutting bits off. You never know what a dried ear-or other part- will go for in those specialty markets these days." Grinning wickedly at Auto, Kadir turned and walked away, his hand reaching for his knife again to play with it as he moved.

Xena immediately turned and smacked him on the arm, glaring at Auto as he yelped.

"Who do you think you are, coming into my town, stealing from my people, on this, the eve of my wedding? I outta-"

"Outta do nothing," Hercules said, coming up behind her and putting a restraining hand on her shoulder. "No need to get into fights this close to the big day."

"A fight is just what I need, actually," Xena replied, shrugging off his shoulder and rolling her neck, smirking as Auto winced at the crack. "Something to really get the juices flowing, you know what I mean? And who knows? Maybe the King of Thieves would make a good opponent."

"Now, hold on, Xena," Autolycus said, holding up his hands in surrender as he took a step back. "Let's think about this logically. Do you really think, if I had actually been planning on stealing from that man, he would have caught me? I am the King of Thieves, you know."

"If you weren't trying to steal anything, what were you doing?" Hercules once again put a hand on Xena's shoulder, trying to calm the woman who was so ready for a fight. She relaxed, interested in what Auto had to say, though the glint that hinted at her desire for violence never left.

"I was trying to find you guys," he said proudly, reaching into his other pocket and pulling out a handful of paper. "Like Xena pointed out, this is her town, and everyone knows it. I figured, if I messed around with some of the people, then she would come to me and save me the trouble of having to ask everyone I ran into if they could help me find her. Here." Auto held out his hand, dropping the paper- some beautiful and folded perfectly, others what looked like the torn bottoms of shopping lists held together by string- into her hands.

"What are they," Xena asked, opening the first and skimming the letter before he could answer. "How did you get a letter from Princess Diana?"

"I was actually in the same town as your friend, the Hestian Priestess, Leah. We got our letters on the same day, and when I overheard her fretting about how she was going to get a letter back to you in time saying she regretted not being able to come, I volunteered." Auto shrugged, smiling as he thought of his good deed. "Meg's place was just down the road, so I stopped by to see if she was going- figured we could travel together if she was. But she couldn't make it, unfortunately, not on such short notice. Then I remembered hearing about a third woman who looked exactly like you, and went to pay a visit to that princess friend of yours. She couldn't come either. So, all three of them gave me letters to give to you."

"And how exactly did you overhear Leah in the first place, when she barely ever leaves the temple," Xena asked absentmindedly, actually reading the content. Diana, eight months pregnant with her second child, was worried about the stress of travel, especially since this pregnancy had been hard on her. But she offered, the next time they were in the area, a party worthy of their wedding.

"Oh, you know," Auto said hesitantly to the two heroes, watching as Xena moved onto the next letter. "All Hestian temples are built exactly the same, so I wanted to familiarize myself with the interior of one. So I was just poking around."

"Meaning you were casing the joint in case you ever needed to rob one," Hercules translated, shaking his head at his friend.

"In case I ever needed to rob one for a good cause," Auto clarified. "But it's all in the past, and Leah didn't smack me too hard, so we're all good." He laughed to himself, shaking his head- he hadn't been paying close enough attention, instead listening to Leah's worries, and had allowed one of the other priestesses to find him. There had been some screaming, some yelling, and damn did that Leah have a mean right hook. But he had made it out in one peace, so all was good.

"You're getting sloppy," Xena laughed, holding out Leah's letter, where it described the priestess' version of events. "Or just old." Leah had been regretful as well, but their wedding was to take place on the same day as one of Hestia's biggest ceremonies- not something Leah, as head priestess for the region, could miss. Though she did offer them her prayers for a long and happy life and marriage (even if in the same sentence she did state her regrets at being unable to convert Gabrielle, who would have made a wonderful virgin).

"I am neither," Auto said, practically bristling at the accusation. Chuckling to himself a moment later, he shrugged and stepped forward, turning the two of them around and interlocking their arms, pulling them along as he walked down the street. "Maybe I am. Who knows? As things are, we'll just have to wait and see."

Xena nodded as the two men chatted to each as they walked, flipping open Meg's letter to see what that doppelganger of hers' was up to. She couldn't help but smile- Meg had left behind her old life, and had taken over the running of an orphanage when the old caretaker had passed. It was a respectable job, but with seventeen children under sixteen, four of which were under two, she just couldn't travel. But she was doing well, and if they ever stopped by, well, she kept some spirits in a locked box under her bed where the kids couldn't get to it. They could celebrate, the kids would love Gabrielle, and if the two of them liked any of the children, they could keep them.

Xena couldn't help the small smile that crossed her lips at that thought- so far, neither she nor Gabrielle had been having much luck with children, but who knew? Maybe in the future, something might change.

As they neared the tavern, Xena was forced to snap out of her thoughts as a woman went flying out the door, rolling across the ground before pushing herself up again with a snarl. Only to be tackled by another woman charging out from the building, the two of them rolling in the dirt to gain the upper hand.

"Solari," Xena said, pulling herself away from Auto to step towards the two fighting Amazons, an amused grin on her face, "why did you just tackle Eponin?"

At the sound of her voice the two women stopped fighting, Solari straddling Eponin's waist, one hand in her hair while the other was pulled back in preparation for a punch. Taking advantage of her momentary surprise, Eponin bucked Solari off, scrambling to her feet and brushing off the dirt that covered her leathers.

"Xena," Eponin said, nodding at the warrior. "It's good to see you." She held out her hand, shaking Xena's as she returned the Amazon's nod. Solari stepped forward and held out her hand as well, smiling widely.

"The two of us and Ephiny are the only ones who could come," she said apologetically. "The entire nation wanted to come to see Queen Gabrielle, but we couldn't leave the village abandoned- with things as they are, who knew what we might have found when we returned. So, since we're the closest to you and the Queen, we got to come."

"It's great to see you, really," Xena replied, "but why were you fighting?"

"Oh, that," Eponin said with a small laugh, her arm reaching out to wrap around Solari's waist. She leaned over and placed a quick kiss on Solari's cheek- a surprising move, since Eponin had always seemed to embody the warrior need to keep emotions in check at all time, lest she seem weak. Clearly no longer the case, for her smile just grew as Solari leaned into her. "That was just foreplay."

Xena just shook her head- you could take the Amazon out of the village, but you couldn't take the village out of the Amazon. And considering it was these two, she knew she shouldn't be surprised. She had paid attention enough the few times they were in the Amazon village to know the two were more than fond of each other, and the fact that both had a love of fighting and weapons just made everything make sense. Smiling at the couple, who had already started to hip check each other, trying to make the other stumble to restart their little fight, Xena jerked her head towards the tavern.

"Ephiny inside?"

"Yep," Solari replied. "With Gabrielle. We were all getting caught up with each other when this one," she said, jabbing Eponin in the side with her elbow, "started getting handsy. Which was what started that rumble."

"Oh, you know you-"

"If Gabrielle's still inside," Hercules said, cutting in on the Amazon's flirting so he could be heard, "then we can't go in, Xena. You know the rules."

"I can't even be in the same room as her?" When Hercules shook his head, Xena sighed and shook her own. "Alright then. Guess I'm going to the stables with Argo. Again." She was almost getting tired of seeing the inside of that building, though Argo's quiet companionship would be nice.

"Oh, don't go," Solari said, reaching out and putting her hand on Xena's arm. "We- the two of us, Gabrielle, Ephiny, and Iolaus- were going to head out in a minute. Stay here, we'll go get them, and then you can go inside. Sound good?"

"Fine by me."

With that the two Amazonian women turned on their toes and ran back into the tavern, jumping the steps and trying to nudge each other out of the way to be the first one in.

"Well, they seem like a handful of fun," Autolycus said drying. "Was the shorter one the one I stole the breast pin from to unlock the cell door?"

"Yep."

"Glad to see she's doing well."

"They all are, now that Gabrielle's Queen and Ephiny's reining Regent," Xena said, watching the door- even if she couldn't be with Gabrielle, she at least wanted to see her. Her line of sight, however, was quickly blocked by Hercules as he came and stood before her.

"You know the rules, Xena," Hercules said, looking down at her, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "You can't see each other for the next two days. And that means even in passing."

"Oh, come on." Xena was about to protest more, but the sound of the tavern door opening distracted her- and him, giving her the perfect opportunity to duck down and around, smiling as she popped back up to see Gabrielle.

Only to find Gabrielle completely hidden from sight by the Amazons and Iolaus, the blonde man laughing as he saw Xena's trick and her disappointed look. "Knew you would try to beat the system, Xena," Iolaus said, "so I got a little help." Ephiny waved as she took in the sight: the three Amazon women were standing shoulder to shoulder with Iolaus, creating an almost box that hid the short bard between them. That, and the women were carrying their shields, covering the spaces between them so not even a glimpse was possible. Iolaus just looked smug, and it was a look Xena was excited to beat off his face later, when this was all done.

"We'll see you guys when you get back," Hercules said, waving his friend off, biting back his own laughter at the situation. It was a bit cruel, he knew, but he couldn't help it- in that moment Xena had looked more like a dog excited to see its master then he had ever seen her, and the idea of Xena being a dog?

It amused him as much as it warmed his heart. She had changed so much in the last few years, to be capable of that kind of loyalty and love, and all because of Gabrielle.

Wrapping his arm around the pouting warrior's shoulder, Hercules took a step towards the tavern once the group had disappeared. "Come on, Xena," he said, smiling down at her. "I'll buy you an ale."

"Looks like I'm going to need it."

The rest of the day passed slowly, her, Autolycus, and Hercules (with occasionally Joxer and Lila when the two took breaks from caring for the tavern) catching up over their drinks, comparing stories and constantly trying to one up each other with how dangerous things had been for them. It was almost amusing, in a way. Gabrielle was the bard, but Xena could tell the facts as good as anyone else, and when she got sucked into retelling one of her adventures, she told it well enough, though it was more a replaying of facts combined with a constant requirement for her to backtrack to give important information she had forgotten earlier. With both men much the same, it was almost a game- who could utterly confuse the others the most without compromising the story?

The answer was Hercules, who had dove right into an explanation of his latest adventure, completely forgetting to add that the entire party had been under a curse at the time. Poor Xena had tried, but eventually she had had to fold, admitting she had no clue what was going on, except that Iolaus had obtained an interesting love for cheese.

Between their fun, they found themselves accepting guests- friends Xena and Gabrielle had made along their way, people from villages and towns they had saved who had felt a desire to wish them well, even Salmoneus made the journey (though part of Xena was sure that was more of a business decision than anything else, seeing as how he showed up with a cart full of items themed after Gabrielle and herself). People she hadn't seen in years and people she just saw a few week ago were all turning up from all across Greece to see the ceremony, giving the town that much more of a festival vibe.

For a moment she began to worry that the hall in the Temple of Hera wasn't going to be big enough to fit everyone, but she quickly shrugged it off. They'd figure something out- no need to worry about it now.

Late afternoon, Hecuba, Cyrene, Toris, and Herodotus finally returned home, smelling like the scented oils the priests of Hera used, laughing and chatting amongst themselves as they entered. Catching sight of Xena, the four of them made a beeline to her, Toris pulling her to her feet and kissing her cheek before taking a seat himself.

"We just spent," he explained, "the last ten hours discussing whether or not we needed dowries and learning about how to help settle marriage disputes and what our duties as the family were for the ceremony. And I came to a conclusion- that priest in there is going to drive everyone insane with his singing."

Herodotus started to laugh again as he took the seat next to Toris, clasping him on the shoulder while nodding in agreement. "I'm not sure if he's doing it on purpose or not," Herodotus said, shaking his head, "but I almost thought we were in a temple to one of the Muses, not Hera. But anyway, Xena," he said, gesturing to her friends, "introduce me. I want to know who my daughters hang out with."

As he smiled up at her, Xena couldn't help but think, for a moment, that she was included in that mention of his 'daughters.' It felt weird, Herodotus being so open and accepting of her, but never one to look a change of attitude in the mouth, Xena quickly filled him and Hecuba in.

The two were wary of Autolycus at first, though he quickly won them over with his charming mannerisms, almost flirting with Hecuba in the same breathe he complimented Herodotus. And once they were won over, they were won over hard. It also helped that, when they had asked him what he did for a living, he claimed he was a carpenter who serviced the Amazon's with his rare wood (she made a mental note to smack him later). Hercules they loved instantly, almost fawning over him- they had heard the tales, more than once, and it was an honor to meet the son of Zeus.

As everyone settled in, talking and alternating between her and Hercules for stories (they had asked Auto, but he had declined, saying his life was a quiet one of wood working), the sky darkening for the night, it seemed as if things were at peace.

A part of her was worried- her marriage should have been a bonfire in the night to any of her enemies, but so far no one had showed up to ruin anything. She had been expecting at least Ares to show up, but even he had been absent. It made the worried part of her twitch; she should be fighting someone by now, someone who thought her weak now that she had a weakness. But the other part of her relaxed, enjoying the quiet.

She would be seeing her old enemies soon enough- she didn't need to worry too much about them now. She would stay on guard, but until something arose, she would just enjoy herself.

That enjoyment only grew as Iolaus walked into the tavern, trying- only semi-successfully- to corral four drunk Amazons. One of whom, after looking around the tavern, smiled brightly as she saw Xena and made her way straight towards her, dropping herself into Xena's lap and kissing her before anyone could stop her.

"Ephiny," Gabrielle called out with a pout, Iolaus' arm a trap around her waist that had kept her from going to her love herself, "that's supposed to be my job."

"You're not allowed," Ephiny yelled back, her words only slightly slurred. Shifting herself so she was more comfortable in Xena's lap, she laughed at the shocked look on the warrior's face, reaching up and patting Xena's cheek as she spoke. "As your Regent, it's my duty to fulfill any obligations you are unable to. And you spent the last three hours talking about how much you wanted to kiss Xena, it was practically an order that I do so for you! Not that I mind." Ephiny said the last bit lowly, so only Xena could hear, giving the warrior a wink before she stood. "Not that I mind at all." Stumbling back towards the group, she smacking Iolaus hard on the back, grinning widely as he winced. Iolaus, for his part, just sent a pleading glance towards the group, his desperation to be saved clear on his face.

It was even clearer as he mouthed 'Help me,' when Solari and Eponin grabbed the arm that wasn't holding Gabrielle (who had spent the entire time hungrily staring at Xena, sending a rush of heat through the warrior) and began to drag him down the hall that led to the baths.

"Should we go save him," Hecuba asked after a moment, looking between the group- Toris, Cyrene, and Autolycus were all trying, very hard, not to die, their bodies quivering from the withheld laughter. Herodotus was glaring after the group- the sight of his semi-intoxicated daughter had closed most of the doors the day had opened (though luckily it seemed as if his anger were with the Amazons, not Xena). Hercules was just grinning widely, shaking his head. "We really should go save him."

"I'll go get him," Hercules said, pushing himself from his seat. "I'm honestly a little scared what those four could do to him, if just one can do that." He pointed at Xena- still sitting there, her face blank, her eyes wide, a rare look of shock still covering her face. She had been thoroughly surprised by the Regent's attack, and was only just recovering. Laughing to himself, Hercules quickly followed after the group to rescue his friend.

He was successful, returning a few minutes later with a soaking wet Iolaus who just looked thankful to be free.

"What happened to you, Io," Autolycus asked, pulling out a chair and covering it with a towel Cyrene had run to grab, making sure the wood wouldn't get wet. The blonde man sank into the seat with a groan, rubbing his face and running his fingers through his hair before turning to glare at Hercules.

"'Gabrielle will be the easy one,'" Iolaus said, badly imitating Hercules. "'She's so sweet, and understands tradition, she's go along with it. It's Xena who's going to be a pain in the ass, leave her to me.' But I don't see you soaking wet, Herc, and regretting the last six hours of his life." Iolaus, even through his anger, just sounded utterly defeated. At their questioning stares, he just shrugged. "After we got the dress finished- she looks beautiful, Xena, by the way," he added, "Ephiny demanded we head into the woods for some kind of pre-wedding Amazon ceremony. Everything seemed pretty straight forward. The four of them went into the trees, hunted for a bit, sacrificed most of what they got to Artemis to ask her to bless the union of her Queen, all that stuff. It was actually pretty interesting to watch, though I had to stay outside of the clearing they were doing it in. When that was done, they called me back in, and we were just hanging out around the fire, talking. I left for a bit to get more wood, and came back to well, that." He pointed towards the hall he had been rescued from. "And empty wine skins. I wasn't gone long, I swear, but they somehow drained nine between the four of them."

Xena laughed, shaking her head at the thought. "Most of those were probably Eponin and Solari," Xena said, thinking back through her memories of the Amazon parties she had been present for. "Gabrielle can't stand after more than a half skin, and she seemed pretty stable. Ephiny cuts herself off after one, two at the most- being the Regent and all," she explained to the group, "she has to keep some wits about her in case anything happens. Meaning most were Solari and Eponin."

"Well," Iolaus said, shaking his hair- accidently splattering the people on either side of him with water, "when I returned, Gabrielle was giggling and trying to make up a poem, Ephiny was just watching everyone, and I'm not entirely sure, but those other two were either having sex or trying to kill each other, so I just pulled them apart and set off to here. And do you know how hard it was trying to get them to go in the right direction," Iolaus asked, a long-suffering look on his face. "They kept climbing trees. Trees, Hercules. You know I'm afraid of heights!"

By now most of the group was snickering to themselves, the man's trauma hilarious to them.

"And how did you get wet," Toris asked.

"They pushed me into the baths."

And with that the entire group's resolve fell, laughter shaking the entire table and drawing the attention of the other tavern goes to them. Toris could barely stay in his seat, he was laughing so hard, every movement almost sending him to the floor. Between breathes different members of the party tried to apologize, but every time they looked at Iolaus and his pout, drops of water still dripping from his hair, they couldn't help it and just laughed harder.

"I'd like to see you all try to herd a bunch of drunk Amazons."

"I have," Xena piped up, wiping at the tears that had gathered in the corners of her eyes. "I never ended up drenched."

Iolaus just grumbled to himself under his breathe before pushing himself to his feet. "I'm going to bed. I will see you all in the morning. Good night." Turning on his heel, Iolaus stalked away, anger vibrating through him- an impressive exit that might have actually had an impact if his shoes hadn't squeaked with every step, sending the table descending into howls once again.

"I should go check on the girls," Cyrene eventually said once she had calmed down, patting her face with her sleeve. "Xena," she said, turning to her daughter, "you should go to bed. Earlier was fluke; you and Gabrielle-"

"Aren't supposed to be in the same room, I know," Xena said, rising from the table herself. "And if they actually are drunk as I think they are, it's going to take you a while to get them sorted out and into bed." Walking around the table and leaning down to kiss Cyrene and Toris, Xena offered the other people at the table nods before leaving for her room. By the time she had reached the door to her room, all the way in the back of the tavern, she could faintly hear Gabrielle laughing in the main hall- she would have a headache tomorrow, if Xena was guessing things right. Sighing to herself, wishing she could go back and watch her love make a fool of herself (always a fun spectacle, which was made even better when Gabrielle actually remembered it the next morning), Xena entered her room instead, glad this was the first of only two nights she would have to spend alone.

She had gotten used to Gabrielle's presence, and missed her when she was gone.

The room was tiny, the single bed small and lonely but still somehow taking up most of the space. Shrugging out of her armor and leathers, Xena crawled under the cold covers and tried to sleep. Rolling around for a few minutes, she sighed and gave up, getting out of bed and searching through her things. Finding her sharpening stone, she pulled out her sword and began to hone the edge, hoping the familiar movements would help her get some rest.

It did, eventually, leaving her weapon ready for battle as she rested for the next day.