My hand caressed my cheek slowly, fingers trickling over the bloody wound in shock. The past few minutes...seemed so unreal. Yelling, screaming, crying...but never this. Not once did the thought ever occur. I knew things were bad. But I didn't know they were this extreme.
Mom gaped in horror, hand hovering over quivering lips. Her reaction mirrored mine. Disbelief. I slowly collapsed to the ground. My palms entangled in my sweat-soaked hair, I ripped a single strand astray. Just to check. And there it appeared, the searing pain across my scalp, torturing me with the fact that this was indeed reality.
And what had happened couldn't be undone. The anger she had acted upon will be forever stitched into my mind, the imprint of her hand jaggedly sewn into the fabric of my thoughts. But now I really did know the truth. That my home could never contain such things as a family again.
Flashback (5 minutes ago...)
"Where is it?!" A pillow was tossed at my head, my lingering figure standing, arms crossed, at the foot of her bed. She clawed at her covers viciously, tearing her pillows one by one. It was happening again.
"Maximum! I am your mother and you will listen-" But she was soon interrupted by the sound of crumbling plaster. Across the wall, a newly formed hole had appeared, thick dust spreading over the tension between us. And there I pulled my fist astray from the imprint, dripping in red.
"You're not my mother! Not anymore!" Her wails of desperation were the only sounds I was able to process, flooding my ears at an incredulous pace. And that's when it happened. It all seemed as if the actions taking place were fixated in slow motion, unable to comprehend what exactly was coming next.
Tears flowed, the moonlight causing them to gleam. With a loud cry, she toppled to her bedside, realizing her mistake. Blood tickled the side of my head, dripping at an agonizing pace. The thick liquid collided with my freshly brewed tears, crimson taking a lighter tint as it dripped off my chin. In front of me was a lamp. A broken, porcelain lamp.
That mom had thrown at my head.
End of flashback.
The shattered material taunted me as I stood my place. She was passed out, tears staining her pale cheeks. But no matter how hard I tried, mine wouldn't cease. Not only because of the physical pain itself, but because this woman used to be someone I had looked up to. A role model at it's best when I was younger.
But the only thing I could now see was an disoriented lady, poisoned with the effects of addiction.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
I skimmed the portrait, taking in every inch of the picture. They looked so perfect, so happy. And then I thought: Perfect. Perfection. Something this household held long ago. But it lost that title just as quick as it earned it. I'm sure it's simple enough to guess why.
Sighing, I ran my thumb over a specific being. It was her. The young girl with the smile. I remembered her laugh. And her contagious smile. And everything about her that I missed. Which was pretty much everything.
"You have no idea, Ells. No idea." I whispered softly, pressing my thumb harder against the glass surface of the frame. I always wondered why it all happened. This and that. You know: Everything happens for a reason. But for me, it just seems the universe is playing some sick game.
I should be hating her, though. She ruined us. The perfection. She messed it all up. But somehow, I managed to cling onto the picture in an even tighter grasp, feeling my sanity seep from my sweaty palms.
"Ella, come back. You have to come back. I need you." I pleaded to the picture, damp from the tears. My hands shook vigorously, breath but an inhuman speed. It was all so messed up. So, so messed up.
"I want to die, Max."
When she ran away, she meant for...that to happen. She knew the consequences. But she didn't care. Which is the reason why I should despise her. Because she ruined us. And she took part of me with her
"Don't say things like that, Ells."
"Why not? It's not like you'd care, anyway."
"What did you say?"
"Ella!" I screamed into my pillow, ruffling the tassels hanging loosely on the side. Tears had punctured the fabric, spreading the droplets across the material. My cheeks gleamed under the faint moonlight, the silver dime hidden behind a flurry of clouds.
"Max...It slipped out."
"Ella, I'd kill myself for you."
"Maxie..."
"No. It's true. I care about you so much, it hurts. It hurts so bad. But I struggle through it. You know why?"
"Why?"
"Because. Nothing in the world can make me happier than your smile. So, please. Smile, Ells."
"Why?! Why this, why me?! Quit your fucking game, already!" My throat burned with rage, unable to sense what I was doing. But I didn't care. I just wanted her home. And Dad. And him. All together. As one big family.
"I love you, Maxie-kins."
"Love you too, Ellie."
It hurt so bad to remember. To recall. To think, in general. All those memories, boxed up in the attic. All those laughs, bottled up inside those pictures. My 7th birthday, the day I met him. No matter how hard I tried, they followed me everywhere, stalking my cowering figure.
It was a never ending shadow washing over me.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
I jumped at the sudden touch, but quickly calmed as to seeing who exactly it was. His chin settled atop my head, nestling into my scraggly locks. He smelled of his usual aroma. Peppermint.
"Shorty." I could feel him grin against my scalp, sending a wave of heat throughout my face. I squirmed under his hold, but it was no use. I was indeed the 'short' one.
"Stop, Fang." He chuckled, backing up a few steps. But his face soon contorted into confusion as his eyes flicked to the bandage laid across my cheek. I knew what was coming. I could just sense the tension as his thumb brushed over the lining.
"Dylan?" He breathed. I shook my head, heart rattling inside of me. I always hated seeing him in this state. It just made me want to shrivel up and hide. From the intensity of his glare, that's all I wanted to do at that moment.
"Sam?" His eyes narrowed, voice laced with pure venom. I once again shook my head, fingers trembling beside me. He always thought highly of...'her'. Would he really believe me?
"Who?" I was shocked at the sudden turn in his words. His voice seemed to crack, disbelief clouding his irises. I wanted him to stop. To back away.
"Who did that, Max?!" Grabbing my chin, he jerked my head to the side, sliding his fingers over the damage. A droplet spilled from the corner of my eye. But of course, he had wiped it away before it could have even fallen.
"Mom. Mom did. It was a lamp." His eyes widened slightly, recognition taking control. He gulped, sending his Adam's apple bobbing up and down.
"V-Valencia?" I nodded. He stumbled forward, reaching for my palms, clasping them with his own. His fingertips felt sweaty, pulling me forward into a hug.
"I'm never there. I'm always gone. It's my fault."
SO FUCKING SAD! But, do not fret dear readers. For I see Fax in le...NEXT CHAPTER. How bout that? Okay, okay. I admit. I have been extremely lazy. Very very very very lazy. And I want to poke myself in the eye with needles for it (Or maybe squirt Loreal Kids Shampoo in my eyes? No tears my ass. Shit's like acid.). But I just wanted to say one thing... uno (Whatever thing is in Spanish.) The first week I had abandoned updating, there was a reason. A highly serious reason. My best friend tried committing suicide. And that's when I thought: What kind of a friend am I? I didn't listen! And so began my week long calls to the hospital she was at, begging them that she was okay. And she was. And I was ecstatic. But then there's that little detail. What happened after that one week? VACATION, SCHOOL, STAYING UP LATE SO I COULD WATCH SWORD ART ONLINE...stuff like that. And I feel shitty for not updating. So sorry. Virtual flowers? *Hands you a bouquet of roses.* *Virtually, of course.*
P.S. Sorry to the people who don't like roses. The virtual flower shop ran out of the other virtual flowers.
A Carnival Of Idiots On Show
