~A few hours later~

Two flashes...two streaks...two lines. She pondered how these two small pink lines could possibly mean her total and undeniable destruction.

'Mer,' Christina's voice seeped through the cracks of the door, 'what does it say?' Meredith could hear the frustration infiltrate her voice even when she was attempting to be supporting and she couldn't really blame her. Christina had run to the grocery store faster than she had ever run for an emergency page. Then she had agonisingly waited while Mer sipped down litre after litre of orange juice. Finally Meredith had made the ominous trip to the bathroom while Christina danced nervously around the door.

'It's positive.' She whispered.

'What?' Christina hollered before barging into the bathroom. One look at her friend's tear streaked face explained the entire situation.

'Oh, Mer. It's going to be alright. It's not as bad as it seems. We can get the whole thing sorted out really easily. I promise you. I mean it's only about a month right. You can take a pill and then it's all over.' She rushed to reassure the woman who had helped her through every crisis she had ever had.

'I'd never abort our baby!' She stuttered before changing tone and amending her sentence.

'I'm not going to abort my baby.' Christina reeled back, stung. Then realised Meredith wasn't judging and condemning her.

'That's your decision, of course. Just remember you already have Zola. Can you cope with another child? With his child?' This was the closest Christina had ever come to speaking out loud her concerns. She could feel Meredith coming apart at the seams. Every day without Derek broke her just a little bit more and Christina worried that one day her best friend would be nothing more than salty tears and bitter memories.

'I won't kill my baby!' She screamed and stormed out of the room.

Meredith found herself in the bedroom. The bedroom where they had talked laughed and slept together. Deep down she realised that she wasn't coping and that she needed help but another more forceful part of her hoped and prayed that if she didn't' give up, one day she would be able to conjure him out of the memories she hoarded and make him real.

She opened the wardrobe and delicately slipped a shirt off its hanger. She lay down on the bed and wrapped her arms deftly around then sky blue pinstripes, burying her nose in the crisp fabric. Derek.


Authors Note: Need a few more reviews and suggestions as I'm runnin out of ideas and I have NO idea hw I'm gonna end this. I edited a cuple chapters cause I realised I kept slipping into 1st person but the content is exactly the same. Beccy x