Chapter 6

Not So Careful Planning

KABOOM!

A bright lash of light and a tinny metal echo rang through the gigantic long dark chamber. Its titanium walls glowed orange and yellow momentarily, until the flare of the distant explosion died down.

Gru and 5 of his minions were entertaining themselves in the way they knew best, firing off random weapons in the testing area. Gru posed for a second like a coyboy, putting the weapon into a small hidden pocket, smiling gleefully at the minions.

"Wooohaa!" 2 of the minions cheered, whole the other three struggled with a particularly large metal tube. The tube had an odd green glow emanating from one end, and they aimed it down the chamber.

"Put eet on to power level three, I want to see dis!" Gru shouted with child like giddiness.

"Power a colpa?" a slightly taller minion asked.

"No Mark, level three." Gru wagged a finger.

"Aww. Ok." The minion agreed, if a little belligerently. He flicked a switch, and the weapon extended into a mass of metal prongs. Each prong had a glowing red orb on the end, and small particles of energy began to collect around them. The green glow began to become brighter until the weapon created something that looked like a small green sun.

Gru watched his weapon creating its deadly projectile with pride, and held his hands over his ears. The energy ball was making little sparks of electricity shoot off of it in random directions, and the deep throbbing hum it emanated got louder and louder as the ball increased with size.

In an instant, the weapon fired. The shriek and crackling noise the energy ball emitted as it made its way downrange was piercingly loud.

"Wait for eeeeeet…" Gru shouted above the noise. The minions huddled together in waiting, as the tension rose.

Nothing happened.

"What?" Gru and the minions asked in unison. They waited. Still nothing.

There was no bright green flash of light, no distant concussive boom, and no excitement.

"Well… dat was an antee climax huh."

"Weapon na good, boss?" a sarcastically posed Tim asked with half closed eyes.

"Well, Nefario doesn't make everything perfect." Gru said looking at the oversized weapon laying on the floor. Its energy prongs had receded back inside it and it now looked nothing more than a metal tube with a handle stuck to it.

"Mek we go get da bomba!" shouted Phil, a short, slightly fatter minion. This one usually smiled all of the time, and he gestured to a odd looking pointed canister.

"No, I theenk we should call eet a day. Its 1.30 PM. Nefario wants to plan de heist. All of you follow me." Gru replied with authority. The minions tensed up and began to act serious.

"Yes boss!" They all saluted. Their sudden change in demeanour whenever Gru mentioned the word heist amused him a little, since they became almost single minded and and their individual personalities vanished and were replaced with similar dastardly glee.

"No need Gru." Nefario coughed behind them.

"Ah Dr Nefario. I didn't hear you come in." Gru eyed the gigantic blast door behind Nefario, which he was sure was shut just moments ago. Nefario had this penchant for just turning up silently, almost in cartoon fashion regardless of Gru's whereabouts. Perhaps Gru just never paid attention all that much.

"Quite. Anyway, I have the serum here. I want you to try it."

He held up a bottle of bright yellow liquid, and Gru looked at it carefully. He gulped.

"Are you sure eet weel work on humans?" Gru asked nervously.

"No. But that's why I am here." Nefario stated bluntly. "Your blood was a catalyst for the antidote, the iron contained in human blood reacted with the chemicals I used and that is what allows the antidote to restore gravitational effect."

Gru pondered for a second. "So how does it work then?"

The minions listened intently, and two were fighting to get a "front row seat", despite the size of the room.

Nefario smiled and straightened up smugly. "Well, gravity is almost like a magnet you see. You are affected as everyone else is. Without getting too detailed or technical," he paused and pulled out a piece of candy and flicked it up in the air, which then fell down to the ground. "what I did was create a chemical that reverses your gravitational polarisation. Instead of being affected by it, you are not."

Gru smiled slightly, drinking in the information. Jerry, one of the minions, jumped to the broken sweet and shoved it in his mouth, giggling a little shyly as Nefario gave him a look of irritation.

He looked back at Gru and continued. "The iron in your blood allowed me to reverse the polarisation and you will be affected by gravity again." Nefario added. "Its all very complicated. Just be happy that it works, not how it works."

Gru nodded, and grabbed the bottle carefully.

"You must drink it all in one go. Here, take this personal direction device." Nefario handed him a small hand held fan. Gru took it and his face screwed up in bafflement.

"Personal direction device?" Gru asked, bemused. "Dis is a fan."

"Yes it is." Nefario said ardently. "It will allow you to move around silently. Took me a while to perfect it."

"Nefario," Gru said listlessly, "I could have bought this in a store for less than a dollar."

"Ah. Well, I'd better not tell you how much it cost me to design then." Nefario muttered.

"Nefario, money is tight as eet ees!" Gru huffed, abraded further by Nefario's innocent incompetence. "Dats why we are doing dis heist."

"And not because you want to." Nefario remarked obtusely. Gru lost his mental footing.

"Well…" he faltered. "Just because of the black car, Margo theenks I am putting de gorls in danger and she wants me to stop." He scratched the back of his head uncomfortably. The minions continued to listen in intently. One had gotten slightly bored, and he kept eyeing the stack of weapons behind them intently.

"I don't want her to know about this heist Nefario. I need de money so I have no choice. But she won't understand."

"Well, it is your choice. Though I doubt you will find much use for me outside of villainy, Gru." Nefario said bitterly. Gru acknowledged this dismally. "Anyway. On with the test, yes?"

"Right."

Gru held the concoction up to his face for a few seconds. The minions, now fully alart all watched him with anticipation. Gru held up the bottle to Nefario and toasted.

"To de heist." Gru said starkly.

"Indeed." Nefario replied, his posture stiff as always and face devoid of emotion.

He gulped. Nefario lurched ever so slightly, and the minions whimpered and chewed their glove covered fingers in apprehension. Gru smacked his lips.

"Tastes better than I expected." He admitted calmly. "Ohh… dat ees a weird feeling."

Gru felt butterflies in his stomach, and his clothes suddenly weighed more than he had noticed before. His feet and hands felt almost hollow, and his head feathery light.

"Oh boy… now dis ees weird." Gru bellowed as he began to float off of the ground. Nefario watched silently, and the minions cooed in awe.

"Haha! Eets working!" He ceebrated and began to turn in circles in the air on joy. "Eets like sweemeeng in air!'

He breast stroked through the air but didn't move. He imitated birds and aeroplanes, all of his adulthood left him and was replaced with child like indulgence. The minions cheered and Nefario nodded to his achievement.

"Dees is better than floateeing een space!" Gru wailed, and chuckled incessantly. He floated further upwards, and was aware just how tall the testing chamber was. It was at least 70 feet high Gru guessed, and the small forms of Nefario and the yellow minions looked up at him from below. He touched the cold roof of the chamber, feeling as he did when he clasped the moon. Like he had achieved something great.

"Uh… Nefario?" Gru called out loudly through his hands cupped around his mount, suddenly aware of something. "How am I going to get down without dee antidote?"

Nefario's mouth fell open and he was stupefied.

"Uhh…" He whispered quietly to himself, sharing a look with similarly shocked minions. "I don't know." He shouted back.

"Yoo don't know?" Gru shrieked. "What do yoo mean you DON'T KNOW!"

"Nefario. Usa le maka bout!" said Jerry holding his hand up to mimick Gru holding a fan.

"Ah yes, how silly of me." Nefario sighed. He clasped his hands around his mouth. "Gru! Use the personal direction device to push yourself back down here!"

"Daw... of course." Gru slapped his forehead. He pulled out the little metal fan, one which cost a huge amount of money to "invent", and switched it on. He aimed it like a pistol towards the roof and began to fly slowly to the ground. Jerry and Phil were giggling at Gru as his sour face came into view.

"Give me the anteedote." Gru said impatiently as he floated about 4 feet off of the ground. Nefario handed him a flask of blue liquid and Gru snatched it as he started to float away again.

"Dis won't tourn me bloo, weell eet?" Gru asked sarcastically.

"I am not sure. But if you want to be floating around for the rest of your life… be my guest." Nefario said without concern. Gru sighed.

Gru gulped it and tumbled to the floor with a deep thud. Nefario and the minions cringed.

"Ow… dat hort." Gru wheezed and a couple of the minions helped him up. He stretched this way and that, clicking his back a couple of times.

"Now we know it works, lets move on and plan this theft." Nefario marched to the door hurriedly and Gru and the minions casually followed him.

"Hey boss." Said Stuart, a slightly podgy minion with spiky hair.

"What?" Gru said, looking down at him.

"Big steel. Big fun! Maka jumla moneys!"

"Yes we will." Said Gru, wringing his hands together in glee. "Lots of money."

xxxxx

"We will enter through here." Gru said to the 5 minions, who were sitting at a small meeting table. He had a pointing rod and was standing next to a large projector screen, and several diagrams and layouts were displayed on it. He pointed to a doorway indicated on a birds eye view map. Gru exerted military commander like power and authority, marching left and right and indicating graphs, maps, layouts and plans.

The minions jotted down his directions fervently.

"Dees door is the least guarded, based on what information the spy-bot Nefario has been using can geeve us, and also stuff from de internet."

Nefario nodded, and he changed a slide on the projector.

"The church isn't heavily guarded around this time of yeer." Gru added, indicating to a blurry photograph of a guard. He didn't look particularly well armed or well trained, but there were at least 15 guards in the building at any one time, which would be more than enough to cause them some trouble if they were caught.

Gru spoke further, occasionally Nefario would cut in and offer a different point of view or idea, and he and Gru would discuss it. The minions weren't really going to do much, except help him set up the laser cutter. Nefario had stolen some plans for a silent invisible laser cutter off the internet and built it. The laser it emitted didn't glow or cause large amounts of melting debris, so there would be very little mess to see. Discretion was key, Gru often said during the planning session.

The fans, while offering them movement, were not particularly powerful and they moved at about 10 miles an hour at best. Which was unfortunately much slower than a bullet. Gru decided the best course of action was to let the ceiling of the chapel fall to the floor.

"One meenion must infiltrate the grownd floor and pick up the shrunken ceiling when eet drops to the floor." Gru barked. "We can't peeck eet up in midair, as wee weell be easy targets for the soldiers."

"The rest of us weell fly to the rendezvous point" Gru pointed to a photograph of an alleyway about 50 metres away. "and dreenk de anteedote. You, Tim, will be the man on de grownd."

He pointed at Tim grimly with his pointing stick.

Tim shrunk back as the other minions stared at him, relieved but also sorrowful for their friend. He whimpered ever so quietly.

"You must meet us there within 5 meenets." Gru added, further freaking out the little minion.

"The alarm will sound as soon as they know what's happened." Nefario included. "You will need to be quick."

"Umm… OK." Tim whined. His face was a mask of fear. He had an important task, perhaps the most important. And the most dangerous.

"Mark and Stuart weell create deestractions to keep the soldiers attention on the sky." Gru added warmly, hoping to settle down his minion. It did, relatively speaking, but also made Mark and Stuart worried as they could quite possibly be fired upon.

"Right. Anyway. Dere are 6 pillars we must cut through, then we can focus on the outside wall." Nefario changed a slide again and the machine whirred.

Gru pointed to a map detailing where they would be cutting. Red circles were drawn around key areas, and the names of each minion were written where they would be based.

"De cutting will take about 1 hour for the pillars, and two hours for the outside wall. We have a 5 hour window before the sun rises." Gru said dimly. The minions noted everything down, and the scratching of their pens echoed in the room small dark room.

"The laser cutter needs to be set up as strips." Nefario pointed out. "Only Gru will be using the hand held part."

The projector changed with another click and a diagram of the laser cutter came up. There were 4 distinct parts to it. The handheld part looked similar in nature to a disk saw, except the disk would be pure invisible energy. The strip cutters looked like fluorescent strip lights, but they were flexible and could be wrapped around objects. These parts would be used on the pillars, and when they switched on, the energy they directed cut inwards and sever the pillars. Another part looked a lot like a bulbous backpack, and this was the battery pack for Gru's handheld device.

The fourth part was strangest of all. This part looked like cloth. It gave off a metallic blue shimmer, and Gru regarded it for a second. "What is this part, Nefario?"

"Ah, that." Nefario nodded. "That is your protective clothing. I will fashion the uniforms out in the next few days, once I have your sizes." He gestured to Gru and the 5 minions.

"Why do we need clothing?" Gru asked, slightly confused.

"I neglected to tell you the lasers are highly radioactive."

Gru and the minions looked at him, their mouths gaping open.

"Great." Gru whined.

"The clothing will protect you fully. It is quite hard to fabricate." Nefario said emptily.

"Its OK for yoo, yoo aren't coming weeth us." Gru exhaled heavily.

"Actually." Nefario began bluntly. "I am."

"What?" Gru gasped in shock. "Yoo never come on a heist!" The minions looked at Nefario with a similar expression as Gru. Bewilderment.

"I know. But the lasers require constant monitoring and calibration." Nefario said, clearing this throat. "I have a portable station that I will set up in the safe house, and monitor it from there."

"Can't a minion do it?" Gru asked.

"Its quite complicated." Nefario said darkly.

"Isn't it always…" Gru sighed glumly.

The room was quiet for a moment as Gru and Nefario stood there, allowing the plan to sink in. The only sound was the whirring fan of the projector.

"Right." Gru said finally. "Study doze slides carefullee, you five. We will reconvene here in three weeks to remind you of de plan, and then we will travel out the next day."

"Boss? Ke en de Margo, et Edith et Agnes treepa?"

Gru's straight and staunch posture vanished, and was replaced with a slump dismay and horror.

"What?" Nefario asked, bemused.

"De gorls."

"Ah." Nefario nodded. "What about them?"

"Eef all of us are owt… who ees going to look after dem?" Gru wondered in irritation.

"No one." Nefario said bluntly. Gru shot him a dark look.

"I will theenk of something." Gru said, relaxing a little.

"Its 2.45 Gru" Nefario said, pointing at his watch.

"OK. Right, minions… Remember to studee de slides. Dismissed!" Gru straightened up and ordered. The minions saluted him and trotted out with a clipboard each as Gru switched the light on.

"What will you do about them?" Nefario asked Gru, who collapsed on a seat at the table for a moment and rubbed his eyes.

"I have one idea. But it was sometheeng I would reelly would have liked to avoid." Gru admitted. He put his hands on his face for a minute, thinking.

He sighed, picked himself up off the seat, and walked desolately towards the lift.

.

XXXXXXXXXX

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Authors Notes:

Lalalala: I agree with you quite a bit about Margo. I thought her attitude may have seemed a bit harsh, but my intentions were to make her revert to similar behaviour she showed during the first few days with Gru in Despicable Me. I watched film a couple of times as I wrote the chapter and often she would pull faces and not say a word, other times she would bite in and say something sassy, usually a little unkind and derogatory towards Gru. It was my intention for readers to to see that in chapter 3, when she sees Edith storms upstairs upset and Gru and Agnes looking totally happy, that Margo began to understand Edith was unhappy and Gru might partly be the cause. So her protective streak kicks in. Plus, since she is overprotective, I hope that later chapters might reveal a little more about her backstory. I found it very hard to write those parts, since a lot of her communication is non verbal, and the way I wrote it makes it seem as though she is being a brat. I will try and tone it down a bit, because I do agree with you for the most part. Hopefully you understand my intentions as the writer now though. :-) I'm glad you are enjoying it so far though!

Thanks for the reviews both of you!