Chapter 7. Jackie Blue
Waffle House
Those who didn't know them knew their distress. They could see it in their icey cold eyes exaggerated by the yellow spherical globes hanging from the ceiling by chrome cords above; how tense they sat in candy-apple red stools, upright as if they were balancing a book on their heads to their sickly expressionless faces; cheeks flushed, rosy pale and sniffling every now and then.
Liveliness wasn't brought about the pair until Jackie panted, feeling a sudden involuntary expulsion of air from her mouth and nose accumulating. Eric pulled a paper napkin nimbly from the grained napkin holder and held it against her open mouth until her mighty sneeze was released as well as a moan of exhaustion. "You're sick," he said lazily while folding the paper in half caustiously, "and tired."
"I'm beat," she confirmed, tucking a thick lock behind her ear with stiff curled fingers, sticky with the weather. "I could use a quick nap."
Eric coughed against his white closed fist before agreeing, "Yeah, me too." While peering at the Coca-Cola branded soda machine over the counter from where they sat at the bar, Eric fantasized about a bed, not a cot, a bed; peeling a thick blanket back to slide in between it and the spongy mattress, the comfort equivalent to curling up in a kangaroo's pouch. Taking a hot steamy shower in complete privacy and watching the boob tube after sounded nice too. "We...could stay at a hotel for the night if you want," he offered while twidiling his thumbs on the peppered table.
"That sounds great," Jackie accepted restlessly, her face radiating like a flourescent light bulb. She was glad he wasn't too hesitant to get rid of her after the threat he made in the car and it seemed he enjoyed her company reticently, not examining her long enough since their reconciliation in her father's car at Skate Land.
"Why are you so excited? We aren't going to do husband and wife things if that's what you're thinking."
Jackie blushed, tapping her lips with the tips of her fingers. "I know, Eric."
"Matter of fact, I'd like a divorce," he said in the kindest tone possible, considering her upmost feelings. "I would joke around and say for irreconceperable differences but in all seriousness...it's because of identical circumstances." The batting of her lashes was indecipherable as he spoke like the actors in the black and white pictures, gravely. "All I'm doing is lighting your fire. You don't need someone like yourself, you need the complete opposite as do I. We could sit here and talk about how miserable we are until we're blue in the face but come on; wouldn't it be nice to hang with someone who keeps your mind off of that stuff?"
"My Grandpa told me this story once about a man who walked into a post office and asked the postman, 'Is their any mail for me?' The postman responded, 'Who for?' And the guy answered, 'Me.' 'No, sir, what is your name?' 'Me, me!"
"Was it Fez," Eric chuckled lightly, showing off his sharp teeth and genuine smile for the first time. Jackie beamed, looking at the upward corners that displayed his pearly whites, his pointy canines. His smile faded once he realized she proved him wrong; she was capable of tickling him. "You really want to be with me, huh?" Jackie shrugged bashfully then nodded her head twice, resting her elbow on the table with her head in her hand. Eric didn't know how to respond as he dropped his gaze to his lap. What was so special about him? Was it the way he denied her touch, not looking at her long enough to absorb her beauty or the way he sent mixed messages? He pulled a napkin out to prepare for his food, then hesitated to pull another, and another. Tapping his fingers against the table, he wondered if he should pull one more until he figured an odd number of three was enough. Eric peeked at Jackie out of the corner of his eye who looked at him strangely. "Minor OCD."
"I'm sorry," Jackie asked, rubbing her chest.
"It's OCD; obsessive-compulsive disorder. A prime example would be the reason why I wanted my home to stay the same; it would suppress the reality that everything else wasn't." He ducked his head ashamed as he realized how silly it sounded. "I understand my behaviors are sensless-."
"No, I get it," she cooed, trying to give him a sense of comfort. "You can talk to me."
Eric didn't see a point in bottling his thoughts or emotions in anymore since she already knew all there was to know, thus, he opened up without hesitation. "I've been thinking, yelling at Kitty back there, seeing her run away crying and my father hurt made me realize they would be better off without me. It just makes me sad to see them like that, I don't deserve such great people like them. And then sometimes I'm sad and I don't know why," Eric shrugged. "It's not because my mom gets wasted. It's not because Laurie's gone. It's just because," he looked at the brown tiled ceiling and sighed. "Maybe it's because things now aren't like they were a few months ago; like my family. It's not the same as it was a few months ago."
Jackie stopped chewing the inside of her cheek when he fell silent, playing with a pink sugar packet. "Is there...anything that makes you feel better?"
"Well, one, I don't feel sorry for myself...and I think." Jackie nodded and looked away, figuring that was all he was going to say. He continued, "I think about sabotaging Laurie so she can't go out with her friends and Red grilling me for not lifting with my legs. I think about Kitty and I singing Bad Blood in the orange Toyota on our way home from Career day. I think about walking downstairs to kiss my Mom who dances as she prepares breakfast with my Dad reading the newspaper and Laurie filing her nails at the kitchen table. I think about the way Kitty cooks sunny side up eggs and crisp bacon to perfection. And waffles; there must be waffles."
On cue, two white plates and clear glasses of milk were set before them on the table with a clink, the silverware placed neatly on the stacked napkins. They stared at the huge circles punctured and branded hot with square holes, waiting to be sealed with thick amber-colored syrup, metaphoric to Eric's heart. There was an empty void there inside, craving to be filled in order to heal healthily; but with the lack of a candidate, he found it easier to consume himself; a waffle. "You know, there's this saying," Jackie quoted him, "feed your faith and your doubts will starve to death."
"I—that's...that's pretty clever. I like that one," he wagged his knife.
Jackie began to cut her waffle along with Eric until she dropped her silverware to ask, "Eric, what do you think of me?"
"Uh," he processed her question while wiping the beads of sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand as he drowned the toasty waffle in syrup, "well I try not to look at you because you're so beautiful but I've trained myself for as long as you've been my company to percieve you as 2D, a pixelized arcade game if you will. As for your character, I think you are one sad person, much like myself. I judged you when I first met you up until today which wasn't my place and who knows; we could've been the best of friends. You're very sweet and kind; your average teenage girl who hangs posters of their favorite movie star to their pink walls and keeps up with the latest fads. And I've taken a liking to your voice that I used to hate immensely. It's very animated and you put emphasis on the most mellow words. I find it quite comical," he remarked before popping a triangle into his mouth.
"Um...thank you," she asked more than said, questioning whether it was an insult or compliment.
Eric glared at her while sipping milk with sticky fingers, watching her pour syrup on her waffle as she tucked her hair behind her ear again. "You didn't say it like you meant it. What, did I ruin your self esteem today?"
"No," Jackie sighed. "You put me in my place, is all. Usually I feel like royalty, like everyone should kiss my feet but with you, I'm just a girl with a center part and damp curly hair; not necessarily nothing; equal to everyone. And I'm...used to getting what I want but with you, I have to earn—."
"Whoa, what do you have to earn? I could just give it to you if you ask for i—."
A sudden envelope of four pairs of arms interrupted her interrupting him to confess not wanting to discontinue talking once the day was over, squeezing until Eric and Jackie were pressed against each other which was the closeness she'd been craving. "Eric," a familiar foreign accent rolled, "I missed you, Eric."
"I missed you too, Fez but that's my pressure point there," Eric gasped. All four of his friends released and sat on the stools on either side of the couple. It was awkward, seeing Hyde with a sly smile sitting to the left of him, Kelso grinning from temple to temple on the right of Jackie, Fez fanning himself while a tear threatened to trickle and Donna who's arm interlocked Hyde's. "So, uh, we're all together again. How did you...know where to find me?"
"Dude, so we went to Leo's," Kelso smirked and brushed bangs out of his face. Jackie squinted at him with everyone following her action as they waited for Kelso to proceed, who just smiled with his mouth open staring back.
"You're such an idiot," Donna giggled.
"So we went to Leo's, man," Hyde picked up, "you know, to...you know. Anyway, Leo was confused because he saw your car was missing and another one was there, so he wiped his eyes assuming it would change colors but then I said, 'Hey man, isn't that, Jack's car,' and Donna said, 'Hey, it is.' So we came to the conclusion that you were back and didn't tell anybody because that's what the authority expects you to do. So then we went riding around and saw the Vista Cruiser in front of the Waffle House. And here we are."
Donna shook her head embarrassed. "Please excuse these dillholes. Yes, we are a little up there but don't worry though," she almost shouted with her hand raised, "we will remember this moment. And I'll remember to kick your ass, Jackie! Do you know how sick I was, worrying about you? Come here," Donna stood up with her arms extended. Jackie got off her stool and walked over to Donna and threw her arms around her shoulders with her heart beating fast, burying her face in the red-head's hair. "What's wrong Jackie? Your heart is beating like, a thousand times a second."
"I'm so sorry, Donna. I'm such a coward," she released her grip and stepped back to look at her only girlfriend, relieved when she heard the guys catching up, not eavesdropping. "Eric found me parked in front of Skate Land. I've been living in my car for months, my dad is imprisoned and we've pretended to be married while he reconciled with his parents." She looked back at Eric who was listening to Hyde who was whispering something in his ear and then she clapped, "Look, I'll explain in depth later, okay? I know your number," she confirmed as she walked back to her chair, leaving Donna in a shocked state.
Hyde whispered, "I told them all to tone it down a bit. You know, well I know it must be very hard for you to readjust to normal life. I was always big talk about not caring about going to jail and all but hearing you on the phone when you would call and seeing you now...you're not you, man. You need to get your life back."
Fez twiddled his thumbs and hovered over the counter to get a better look of his friend Eric, feeling a little left out as he sat to the right of Kelso. "So Eric, how was it in the slammer," he asked once Jackie sat back in her seat next to her 'husband.' Her head automatically turned to Eric, almost betrayed after thinking he told her all she needed to know. Would he have never told her had Fez not said anything? Jackie bowed her head and began to eat her waffles, saving the confrontation for later.
"Not nice at all. I'm just fortunate nothing happened to me and I left unscathed, at least physically," he chuckled.
"Well, you know," Donna sighed, "it wasn't your fault Hyde fell from the tower...at all. I'm very sorry you were in prison for three months—."
Eric slammed the table, vibrating Jackie's plate. "Stop being sorry, Donna. Okay? All of you. That's the reason why I stopped hanging out in the basement, because of that right there. You guys are my friends, you're supposed to make me forget about all the bad, not remind me of it constantly."
"We are your friends Eric," Fez's tongue rolled. "What do you want from us, to call you Forehead?"
Donna smiled. "Stringbean or Foreskin?"
"Johnny Cubscout," Hyde suggested.
"Ooo, ooo," Kelso raised his hand and bounced in his chair. "Doctor Pee-Pee, man, you are so Doctor Pee-Pee!"
"Yes, I am," Eric nodded with a blank face. "That's what I want. I want to be treated as if any of this hasn't happened. Of course I haven't recovered fully over my sisters death but it'll sure help me if you guys would stop feeling sorry for me."
Hyde sighed. "Alright, Forman. If that's what you want, that's what you'll get."
"Thank you. Uh, I'll see you guys in the basement later," he lied. "I need to be alone for a bit; this is all a little too overwhelming."
With that, each and every one of them patted his back before they made an exit while Jackie picked up a napkin to wipe her chin. She didn't think about how she should approach him about the matter. All she knew was that he left a big piece of the puzzle out and she wanted answers as to why. "Eric, why did you lie to me?"
"What are you—, when did I lie to you," he squinted, not taking her choice of words too kindly.
Jackie straightened up in her seat, speaking in a low tone. "I didn't know you were in jail. You told me that was all that happened but you lied. Now I understand why you were so anxious to get home and why you looked at everything as if you've been living in a whole your entire life. I've been so straight-forward with you but with you, I feel like I have to extract it like a child getting it's tooth pulled ou—."
"What the hell do you want from me Jacqueline," Eric asked with his eyes closed. "What the hell is it, do you want from me? I just got out prison today after three months for something I didn't do; is that what you want to hear? Ha, you know, you really had me. I thought maybe you could be the one to turn my life right side up but I was wrong. You want me to relive all the bad each and every second, do you?" He glared at her as her eyes welled with salt water, feeling she was misunderstood. "Oh, come on, you're going to cry now? Get out of here, man."
He stood up and walked outside to sit on the wet curb hugging his knees in the cold, remembering she was wearing his jacket. Had he really been avengeful he would've gone back in to force it off her but he felt this was punishment enough. Eric knew she didn't deserve the treatment he gave; she deserved better yet he knew she wouldn't dare leave his side. He would have to leave her. As a matter of fact, this would be the perfect opportunity being that he had his keys in his pocket. He took them out and started to stand up as a woman sitting in her car, smoking a cigarette with her window down played a song. Eric stopped dead in his tracks once he heard the first line, capturing his attention.
Ooh-hoo, Jackie blue
Lives her life from inside of a room
Hides that smile when she's wearin' a frown
Ooh Jackie, you're not so down
You like your life in a free-form style
You'll take an inch but you'd love a mile
There never seems to be quite enough
Floating around to fill your lovin' cup
Ooh-hoo, Jackie blue
What's a game, girl, if you never lose
Ask a winner and you'll prob'bly find
Ooh Jackie, they've lost at sometime
Don't try to tell me that you're not aware
Of what you're doing and that you don't care
You say it's easy, just a nat'ral thing
Like playing music but you never sing
Ooh-hoo, Jackie blue
Making wishes that never come true
Going places that you've never been
Ooh Jackie, you're going again
Ooh-hoo, Jackie blue
Lives a dream that can never come true
Making love is like siftin' through sand
Ooh Jackie, it slips through your hand
Ev'ry day, in your indigo eyes
I watch the sun set but I don't see it rise
Moonlight and stars in your strawberry wine
You'd take the world but you won't take the time
Ooh-hoo, Jackie blue
Lives her life from inside of a room
Makes you think that her life is a drag
Ooh Jackie, what fun you have had
Ooh Jackie, ooh Jackie
Ooh Jackie, ooh Jackie, ooh Jackie
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Jackie Blue was dissatisfied with her life and was looking for someone to change it but that person either never came, or wasn't willing to help. She never found happiness. Eric didn't want that to be Jackie Burkhart's faith, but he was turning her into Jackie Blue. He turned around and pushed open the door, putting his keys back in his pocket and sat back down in his seat as she sniffled.
"Hey," he scooted close to her and touched her back, "hey, stop crying. I'm sorry I hurt your feelings. I appreciate you for all you've done, complying without complaint and pretending to be my wife. I'm very fortunate to have you." She looked at him with glassy eyes and a dimple in her chin as tears continued to run down her rosy cheeks. "Do you want to hit me? Come on, slap me in the face," he urged. Jackie slowly raised her hand up and he remained unflinched. She slowly brought it to the side of his face gently, then caressed it. How smoothe it was. Eric quickly grabbed her wrist and brought it down to the table, still gripping it. "Hey, how 'bout we go to the motel? Huh?"
Her smile quivered as she nodded. Eric kissed her tiny forehead and escorted her out of the restaurant by her arm.
