Notes: What a wonderful, idyllic and completely harmonic chapter you're about to read.
Warning that people (parents) aren't exactly nice in this chapter, leading to some verbal and a bit of physical abuse. But hey, the family relations here are still healthier than those on Game of Thrones.
How Things Should Be
Part VII
When Blaine woke up, he was actually surprised at how not horrible he felt.
All through the night he had woken up several times, and each time had been worse. He could actually tell when the alcohol left his body and the hangover started to set in.
As the light filtered through the curtains, he managed to sit up – slowly, as to not upset his stomach. There was a jar of water and a wooden cup beside it. Carefully, Blaine poured some and drank carefully.
It wasn't that he was feeling well. His head was throbbing, not unbearably but noticeably. The light was too bright, and if he moved too much or too fast, he felt dizzy and sick. Despite sleeping all through the night and into the later morning hours, he still felt exhausted.
One thing he knew for sure – he was never going to touch wine again.
After emptying the cup of water, Blaine sank back into the pillows again. The moment he stopped focusing on his physical symptoms, his mind was rearing up. He realized that he had been upset about something, but it took a while until he remembered what it was. Closing his eyes, he could recall the touch of lips against his skin, but the memory was connected not to excitement or happiness, but regret and shame. The more he thought, the more he remembered scenes that didn't seem to go together. Sebastian kissing him, Quinn touching him, and Kurt...
No, Kurt hadn't kissed or touched him. Kurt had taken care of him, probably also left the water for him. As Blaine looked more carefully, he could see something else beside the jar of water. He recognized it as a piece of willow bark. Kurt had told him that his stepmother used it to soothe different kinds of pain. He also knew that it tasted horrible, but if it would take away the headache, he was willing to deal with it.
As he chewed it and the bitter taste filled his mouth, he calmed down enough to think. Yesterday, it had all been a mess of alcohol, touching and panic. Now, with the alcohol out of his system and a safe distance to anybody trying to get him out of his clothes, he could push down the fear long enough to actually analyze how bad his situation was. In the daylight, it didn't look this horrible anymore. Not that it wasn't still a mess, but it didn't seem as paralyzing as it had the day before.
The most dangerous part of his situation was Lord Smythe. If he told anyone – especially Blaine's father – than he'd be ruined. Sebastian may have had the luck of his father at least tolerating his way of life, but Blaine had no illusions about his own family. If he not only turned out to prefer men but also to hurt the earl's chances at rising into the king's good graces, there'd be no pardon for him. His father would cast him out in a heart beat.
But he had no influence on Lord Smythe's decision on whether to tell or not. And while he had been in foll-blown panic mode at the time, he could now recall at least the gist of what Sebastian had said. Lord Smythe had been an important factor in the betrothal to Quinn, what interest could he possibly have in ruining it? For now, all Blaine could do would hope that this wouldn't change – and be very careful not to cross Lord Smythe in any way. That shouldn't be too hard, he had no idea how he even could stand in the way of someone this influential.
Once he had calmed down about this, Blaine was calmer already. It might also help that he started to feel the first effects of the willow bark – even though he was surprised that the taste didn't make him throw up. He felt a surge of gratitude for Kurt, for who else could have put that bark there?
Kurt...
No. He'd have to think about Kurt, too, it was impossible to think about this whole mess without thinking of him, but it was not time yet. One step after the other.
The next thing he needed to worry about was Quinn. He didn't quite remember what had happened, just that she had climbed into his bed that night and that he had basically run away from her. It didn't make sense. He tried to think back if he'd given her any indication to think that he wanted her to visit him. Yes, she had been happy about the match, but Blaine hadn't gotten the impression that the lady was completely in love with him. Even if she was, why not wait a few more months until the wedding? No, her behavior made no sense to him.
Did it matter though? He might never find out about her motives, and whatever they were, they didn't change anything. What did matter was that he made sure she didn't suspect why he hadn't been interested. He should be able to tell her a convincing story. Maybe that he had been too afraid of her getting pregnant before the wedding. He would figure something out.
So where did this leave him? His father probably wouldn't find out. He could do damage reduction with Quinn.
And then there was that completely other mess, Sebastian.
Blaine still didn't know what he had been thinking. It had felt good at the time, but looking back, Blaine knew it had been a mistake. Well, he had known that yesterday already but some points were worth repeating.
Yesterday, he hadn't been able to grasp just why it had felt the way it had – or rather, why it had lacked feeling. It certainly wasn't for a lack of attraction. Just comparing Sebastian's touches with Quinn's told him that he was clearly attracted to men, and he couldn't deny that he felt attracted to Sebastian himself. But when he compared Sebastian's touch to Kurt's...
His brother had been the one who had told him everything about sex. It had been the most embarrassing conversation Blaine had ever had the misfortune to have, and Cooper had taken way too much glee in his mortification. But dramatic as he was, his brother had said something that had struck a cord with him. After a lot of details on his former sexual exploits, the at that point recently married Cooper had started to explain about how different it felt – that sex with somebody he had felt attracted to had been pretty great, but nothing against the fulfillment he felt with his wife. Sex couldn't give you complete fulfillment, not if it wasn't tempered with love and honor.
Love and honor... Cooper had talked about marriage, of course, that it would only be fulfilling with the person one did not only love but was also married to. It made sense for Cooper, who hadn't really been in love before he met Jane. But even then, Blaine had known that love and honor wouldn't always be the same. Looking at his parents, he had figured that love was the more important factor, as nobody could doubt their honor, and clearly they weren't all that happy.
The last few days had been a field study in this theory. He had felt attraction to both of them, but only in one of those cases he had felt more than lust. He hardly knew Sebastian, couldn't tell if he even liked the other young noble. Kurt on the other hand had been by his side for years. They knew each other, they could talk and laugh together, Blaine could trust in him, tell him every secret without fearing they'd be revealed. They were friends, but they cared about each other more than that.
With a sigh, Blaine sank back into his pillow. A few days ago he had thought how easy it would be to fall in love with Kurt. But at that point, it had already been too late for him anyway. It was true, of course, that one should be careful what to wish for. He had wanted to be in love, and now that he was... Well, where did that lead him?
Nowhere. He was still exactly where he had been before this realization.
It did explain why he had felt guilty towards Kurt. He knew that he would feel hurt and jealous if he knew Kurt would meet and be intimate with someone else, even though there was no claim between them. He probably wouldn't want to hear any details about it – which reminded him that he had probably said too much last night when the alcohol had loosened his tongue. With a sigh he hid his face in his hands. Yesterday had not been his best day.
Kurt had been calm, though. Had he minded? And really, what were Kurt's feelings anyway? There was enough for him to want to kiss Blaine, and then ask for them to leave together. He had reacted so hurt at being rejected... and Blaine had felt so guilty about hurting him that he hadn't gotten around to actually think about what had happened. But while he was in the process of going over past events rationally, he might as well go over this as well. Had Kurt ever given him an indication before that he had feelings for him? Every time Blaine had gotten closer, or tried to get closer, Kurt had withdrawn, or even outright rejected him. And then all of a sudden they'd been kissing... and then Kurt had asked him to run away, to give up his whole life... Where had that even come from?
Maybe it would be easier to understand everything if he stopped making assumptions about Kurt's feelings. Maybe he should just ask...
But again, where would it lead him? Kurt had told him once before he wasn't interested, and that hadn't helped in dealing with his own feelings – they'd just gotten deeper. And if Kurt did say he had feelings for him... that would probably just make it even harder to move on from this and do what he had to do.
No, it was time to stop the childish dreams and face the music. He wasn't quite sure why he should manage to actually do it this time, but he had to keep trying.
He felt almost ready to face the day and whatever it might bring, when the door opened. Blaine sat up in surprise, only to find Kurt standing in the door – but the expression in his face was as dark as oncoming storm clouds.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"Your father... He wants to see you," Kurt said.
"What for?" Blaine asked.
Kurt shook his head. "I don't know, but there's been a message from Lord Smythe. He wants to see your father and you... and the Fabray family. I don't think there's good news."
Blaine paled. The carefully constructed calm was shattering right in front of his eyes. "Oh god."
"I'm sorry," Kurt said, "but you have to hurry up."
Blaine fell back onto the bed. "I can't," he whispered, "I... Kurt, I can't..."
For a second, Kurt closed his eyes, than he walked towards him and pulled him to his feet. "You will go and listen to what they want from you, and when we know, we'll figure out what to do. But right now, you have to be strong enough to hear it. Can you be?"
Unable to say a word, Blaine nodded.
Kurt took his hand and squeezed for a moment. "Then get ready."
By the time Blaine woke up, Kurt had already been working for some time. He had risen with the sun, and taken the opportunity to check on the young lord again. He'd been sleeping fitfully, and Kurt had left him water and willow bark to help with the headache he certainly would have from the wedding feast.
Maybe it would have been better if he had never come to the capital. It had all seemed so glamorous when they had arrived, so alive and joyful at the festival in the Springs. And now...
He tried to throw himself into work again, but now after the feast was done, they didn't actually have that much to do – a privilege of being a guest that Kurt didn't care for much at the moment. There was some shopping to be done, but even that didn't take much of his time.
And so, he found himself in the courtyard, not sure what to do with his time. He considered checking on Blaine again, hoping that the young lord was awake now. Last night, Blaine had wanted to talk, and Kurt hadn't wanted to listen. He still thought he didn't actually need to know any details about whatever had happened with Sebastian. But still... didn't the fact that Blaine thought it necessary to discuss this with him tell him something?
It had taken some time last night until Blaine had calmed down enough for Kurt to put him back into his bed, hopefully without further interruptions by Lady Quinn. Afterwards, he had stayed for a bit, humming while he waited for the young lord to fall asleep. It hadn't taken much, and even then, Kurt had stayed behind, watching over his sleep.
He shouldn't have come to the capital. It hadn't been easy to suppress his feelings, but since they'd come here, it had become impossible. As the time was running out, his feelings had become stronger. And Blaine...
Kurt knew he was under a lot of pressure, and he tried to be understanding, but he couldn't help feeling upset. Did Blaine even realize how hurtful he was being? It had been months ago that Blaine had signaled his feelings, and the moment Kurt tried to reciprocate, Blaine rejected the mere possibility of them in order to be a good son to a family that would never appreciate him. And just two days later, he ended up with that snake Smythe, and then he got himself caught, making the whole charade of being a good son pointless.
Well, that was being unfair. Blaine certainly hadn't planned to get caught and therefore had assumed that he would be safe from discovery. He hadn't even planned that... tryst or whatever it had been. And clearly, that had been more wine than he could handle, so he couldn't possibly held all responsible for what had happened.
It would be nice if he could just find a way to reconcile his rationalizations with his feelings, or could even keep those stable for more than a few hours...
"Um, excuse me?"
He flinched, although he tried to hide it. He hadn't noticed anybody coming close. But as he looked up, he found himself in front of the blonde girl he had seen with Lady Santana.
"You're from Dalton, aren't you?" the girl asked. Dani, he remembered.
"I am," he said, "and you're working for Lady Santana, right?"
The girl laughed. "Me, working for a lady? No, that isn't for me. I'm a bar wench, I'm working in the Springs. I met Santana when she was sneaking out once."
Kurt raised his eyebrows. So apparently sneaking out to see the peasant life style wasn't something only Blaine did, maybe more of the young nobles gathered experiences that way. "I just assumed because I saw you walking together."
Dani nodded. "I see where you'd get the impression. But no, we're just acquainted. I would hate to start anything with somebody who's in power over me. I don't believe that usually ends well."
"Tell me about it," Kurt said. "But what brings you here?"
Dani hesitated now. "Well, it is about Santana... and about your friend. Brittany, I think? I was just wondering what their story is. I know they were intimate at some point."
"I don't think you have to worry," Kurt said, "from Lady Santana's reaction I doubt that she'd abandon you for Brittany.
Dani shook her head. "I wasn't worried about that," she said. "I like Santana very much, but it isn't serious."
"You're very open about this," Kurt said.
Dani shrugged. "I have the impression you can relate," she said, "I somehow don't see you pursuing a girl. Besides, you've already seen that... meeting we had the other day. What more am I telling you?"
"You have a point," Kurt said, "but I don't think I can really help you. I know that Lady Santana stayed at Dalton for a while on her family's trip north. She and Brittany had some sort of affair, I think, but it ended with the lady's stay."
"Is that all?" Dani asked in surprise. "I don't understand why Santana would be so upset about this."
Kurt frowned, trying to think back on the things Brittany had mentioned. "It must have been important to them," he said, "and I think Lady Santana asked Brittany to come and work for the Lopez family."
"Well, that sounds important," Dani said, "why did Brittany refuse?
Kurt frowned. "I'm not sure, she said something about unicorns."
"Unicorns?"
"It's Brittany," Kurt said with a shrug, "she always says weird things like that. She usually believes them, too. I'm not sure why Lady Santana was so horrible to her, though..."
Now Dani was frowning. "You don't think that somebody would take offense at being rejected for unicorns? Especially someone like Santana?"
Well, put like that...
"Anyway, thank you for the information, I think I should go and talk to her," Dani said. "How long are you staying at the capital?"
"A few more days," Kurt said.
"You should definitely go to the High Market," Dani said with a smile, "I think it's the most relaxed one of the markets, and they have a lot of beautiful wares to sell."
"I'll consider it," Kurt said.
As Dani turned to leave, Kurt noticed another person approaching. It was a messenger, bearing some lord's colors. As Kurt looked closer, he could see the badge showed a serpent forming an S. Going out on a limb, he assumed the message was coming from Lord Smythe.
"What does he want?" he muttered as he approached the messenger.
"Find your lord and I'll tell you," the boy said. "And hurry, Lord Smythe needs to talk to him, it's very urgent."
Kurt shuddered. This could not be good.
Blaine felt as if he was walking to his own execution. He somehow managed to keep a neutral expression on the way. His father hadn't said much, but he had looked worried. Lord Smythe had called them to one of the lower chambers that was sometimes used for less important council meetings. It was a sign for how close Smythe was to the royal family that he could just commandeer space at the castle like this.
As they entered the room, Blaine saw that they were the last to arrive. Lord Smythe was sitting at a table, Sebastian by his side. The other boy looked pale and anxious, which worried Blaine even more. The situation had to be bad if even unimpressionable Sebastian was concerned.
Duke Fabray and Quinn were also sitting there – and to his surprise, Quinn didn't look much better than Sebastian and probably he himself did.
Following a gesture, Blaine sat down beside his father, scared of what was to come.
"Now that we're all here," Duke Fabray said, "how about you tell us what this is about?"
Smythe rose to his feet. "There have been some rumors going around, and in light of your engagement, I thought it would be wise for me to put them out into the open so you can react accordingly."
Blaine noticed his father's face darken.
"What do I care about some rumors? And what does that have to do with the engagement?"
"You should care about them," Lord Smythe said, "because they put a... let me be honest, an unsavory light onto that engagement. There has been... infidelity."
Blaine was frozen. Smythe was going to tell, he knew it. What would his father do? How on earth could he survive this? He quickly looked to Sebastian, but the other boy wouldn't meet his eye.
"Infidelity?" his father asked. "Be more precise." As he said that, he glared at the Fabrays.
"The rumor on the street is... that Lady Quinn is with child."
I took a few seconds until Blaine understood what he had just heard. When he did, he looked up quickly. "What?!"
He looked to Quinn. Her head was down, her eyes firm on the clenched fists in her lap... and she looked utterly devastated. This alone was enough for him to realize that it was true.
"Those are just rumors," Duke Fabray said, his voice loud and commanding, but it would be no use, not with the way Quinn was cowering there. "They're vicious lies, with the sole aim to destroy our alliance. I assume Lopez is spreading them?"
"I'm afraid not," Lord Smythe said, "come here, girl."
Another person stepped forward that Blaine hadn't noticed before, a slight girl with braided blonde hair and the simple clothing of a maidservant.
"Kitty here serves Lady Quinn. Tell those young lords what you told me, Kitty."
The girl shot an apologetic look at Quinn, but then she turned to Lord Smythe again. "Lady Quinn lay with one of the stable boys, his name is Noah Puckerman. She's pregnant, and her mother thinks she's about two or three months along. The stable boy has been trying to convince her to live with him and raise the child, but her father insisted she should find a husband quickly and pass the child off as his."
Earl Anderson was on his feet now, too. "And you knew about this?" he asked, glaring at Duke Fabray.
"You heard the girl," Lord Smythe said, "unfortunately, a lot of people have heard the girl by now. The cat is out of the bag, so to speak, and we'll have to figure out how to handle it."
Duke Fabray's anger seemed to dissipate, and when he talked, he was all business. "We can figure this out," he said, "I'm sure we can find a good solution..."
"There is nothing to figure out!" the earl shouted. "Do you think I'll have my family insulted by you and your whore daughter?"
The word struck something within Blaine. He looked to Quinn, and the tears streaming down her face. It made sense now, how she had tried to seduce him. If only she had talked to him, trusted him with her secret... they could have figured it out, their fathers wouldn't have had to find out... He felt relief that it wasn't him that was exposed, but when he looked at Quinn... she was going to be cast out, shamed, and for what?
For one mistake. It could have been him just as easily, one mistake trodden out for the public, that could lead to losing everything.
He wasn't even sure where the lords had gotten in their shouting as he got to his feet.
"I will marry her."
The room went quiet. Even Quinn looked up, her blue eyes wide and shining.
"Excuse me?" Lord Smythe said, a dangerous edge in his voice.
"I'll marry Quinn. We'll say it's my child, that there's been some indiscretion, that it's really early, I don't know... Maybe people won't believe it, but it doesn't even matter. I'm not your heir, that's Cooper, and then his sons. There'll be no consequences long term."
"Shut up, boy!" his father said sharply.
Blaine didn't care. He walked up to Quinn, and took her hand. "It's going to be okay," he said, "there'll be talk, but there'll always be talk about something. It will be fine."
"You would do that?" Quinn asked.
"Nonsense," his father said, "you are not going to marry her! No son of mine will marry a whore or raise her bastard!"
"Drop it, boy," Lord Smythe hissed.
"She's not a whore, she just made a mistake!"
Lord Smythe advanced, and on instinct, Blaine backed away against the table.
"A mistake? Like the one you committed with my son yesterday?"
Blaine froze.
He couldn't even breathe anymore. How could he have let this happen? Not even an hour ago, he had decided not to cross Lord Smythe, and now... Now it was over. He didn't dare to look up, see his father's reaction. A moment later, he could hear all he needed in his voice.
"What are you implying, Smythe?"
"I'm not implying anything," Lord Smythe said, "I'm stating that yesterday during the feast, I found your son and mine together in a... compromising position. I'm very sorry about this, my friend, I know how much faith you had in your son's conduct, but... Well, we can't always have the children we wish for."
"My son is not a deviant," the earl hissed. There were a few steps, and suddenly, Blaine's face was grabbed and pulled up so he could look into his father's eyes. "Tell me the truth, boy!"
Oh god... He had to deny it, to pretend nothing had happened... but he knew, his face was just as treacherous as Quinn's had been before. Denial was not an option.
"I'm sorry, father, I... I didn't mean... it was just once, I won't ever... I'm sorry."
His father stepped back, shock taking over his face. "God... you have..."
"Well, isn't this interesting?" Duke Fabray asked. "You call Quinn a whore, when in truth your son is one."
Earl Anderson looked up. "My son..." he muttered. "My son is a good man and a good ally, and married to a good woman. This boy... No." His face was hard when he turned to Blaine again. "You are not my son. I will not have you step foot into my castle again. See how you get along in the streets, I don't care."
"Father, please..."
He saw the hand rising, but he didn't understand until the strike hit him. He stumbled from the force of it as well as from the shock, and fell against the table. The pain shot through his face and his back. Behind him he could hear Quinn gasp, and he saw Sebastian getting to his feet.
"I am not your father."
"I have enough of this as well," Duke Fabray said. "And you girl... we'll talk about this when we're home."
Blaine hardly notice them leaving. He was shaking, and his whole body felt numb – everything apart from his cheek that was still burning. His father was turning away. Oh god, it was over... His whole life... he had tried so hard to be a good son, to be what his father wanted, and now? All for nothing. He blinked against the sudden wetness in his eyes. God, he shouldn't be crying, that too was something he wasn't supposed to be doing... but did it even matter now anymore? Could that look of disgust in his father's face even get any worse now?
"Well, this has been quite the day," Lord Smythe said, "although... I do believe you're acting too quick, my friend."
"I am not your friend," the earl said. "And there is nothing left to talk about."
"You came here for an alliance," Lord Smythe said unimpressed, "and believe me, once this story gets out, you wouldn't find a match for him anyway."
"I'm not finding him a match," the earl said, "because he is not my son."
"He is your son, though," Lord Smythe said, "and that doesn't change just because you don't like what he does. Take it from me, I've had several years' worth of disappointments from my son. Nevertheless, you have to focus on your position now. Not all is lost. Look at me, everybody knows about my boy and still I hold the king's favor."
"What are you getting at?" the earl asked.
"The king wants you in an alliance that binds Dalton to the south. I doubt he'll be happy to have this fall through, and I doubt that you will be content unless you ally yourself to the king's forces," Lord Smythe said.
"Does it even matter what I want to do? The boy is ruined, even if I didn't cast him out. Quinn Fabray is a whore, Lady Lopez won't take him now. He's useless anyway. There's no match I could still get for him."
"Well, now that is just not true."
Something in Lord Smythe's tone made Blaine look up. The man looked completely self-satisfied, and smirked at him, triumphantly.
"There is, in fact, one match left."
This morning, the rumors were flying fast. It had taken mere minutes after he had brought Blaine to the meeting, that Kurt knew about Lady Quinn being pregnant, carrying the child of a squire, a stable boy... even the crown prince, according to some rumors.
Kurt knew he should feel sorry for her. A scandal like this would destroy her life. She would in fact be lucky if she wasn't cast out of her family. And yet, when he heard the rumors, he felt relieved. As horrible as it was for Quinn – at least Blaine was safe.
And then, it changed. Duke Fabray was seen storming out, a devastated Quinn following – and a blonde serving girl in their shadow, staying behind to tell the newer parts of the story, the parts about Earl Anderson's son, the deviant, lying with Lord Smythe's son, and how he got cast out for it.
Kurt sank against a wall, trying to calm down. It had to be true. If the earl knew... Blaine had been sure that his father would throw him out.
What was he supposed to do? Where was he even supposed to go? Maybe there was a small chance that Cooper would take him in, at least temporarily. But then again, from what Kurt knew, Cooper listened very carefully to his father's opinions. If the earl wanted Blaine gone from their family...
...then Blaine had just lost everything.
Even with how little Kurt saw from his father and stepmother, he knew that they would always welcome him back, that they loved and supported him. Blaine didn't have that. His father would abandon him, and neither his mother nor his brother would care enough to stand up to the earl. Blaine had lost everything...
Finally, Kurt's brain kicked in again. Blaine had not lost everything. There was still him, and no matter how complicated things were between them, he would not abandon his friend, the boy he was in love with. He had a little money, and if he went to the countess and told her he wanted to take his leave, she would give him what was missing of his salary. That might be enough to get them at least part way to Lima. He could always earn a bit on the side, and maybe they could get some jewelry, things that belonged to Blaine, and sell them. He'd make enough money to get them north to Lima. It would be hard for Blaine, to lose everything and start completely new. But he'd get over it, he'd have to, and then... they'd figure it out.
Kurt was pacing back and forth, waiting for them to come out. Eventually, the door opened, and Earl Anderson stormed out, as angry as Duke Fabray had looked earlier. And mirroring Quinn, Blaine followed. His face was pale, apart from a red mark on his cheek, and his face was wet with tears. Kurt felt his own heart break at the sight.
Blaine walked slowly, staggeringly, as if his mind wasn't quite there. Kurt walked up to him and put a hand to his arm. As if startled, Blaine looked up, and suddenly the young lord was in his arms.
Even as Kurt pulled him closer, his mind acted up. Wasn't this dangerous? They were completely in public...
"People will see," he whispered into Blaine's ear.
"Doesn't matter," Blaine replied without even looking up, his voice rough, "everybody knows."
"Oh god," Kurt whispered. It was to be expected of course, the rumor mill at the capital seemed extremely fast. But god... poor boy. Blaine was shaking in his arms, and he could feel the moisture of tears against his shoulder. Softly, he stroked the boys head, waiting for him to calm down.
Eventually, Blaine stepped backwards.
"I'm so sorry," Kurt said softly. "I... we'll figure something out. It's not the end, no matter what your father says. You don't need your family, you can be fine without them."
Blaine looked at him in confusion, but then he shook his head. "It's not... I'm not cast out, Kurt."
Kurt frowned. With the rumors, the earls attitude, how upset Blaine was...
"But if everybody knows... does your father not care?" Kurt asked softly.
Blaine shrugged. "He cares, but... he's still got use for me."
Kurt frowned. "Use?"
When Blaine looked up at him again, he looked helpless, and confused.
"I'm... They said..." He breathed deeply, and shook his head as if to clear his mind.
"I'm to marry Sebastian."
