I press my finger against his lips, quieting him as Otis Redding's voice continues to fill the room. My brain is locked away and as for my panties, well, they're pretty much useless right now. I'm going to need a life vest to save me from drowning.

And perhaps mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

As I pull my finger away from his mouth, a soft moan escapes my lips.

I cup both sides of his face and lean towards him. Our mouths are almost touching when I hear the thump … thump … thump … of the needle dragging against the end of the record.

Without warning, my brain bitch slaps me.

Bella Swan! WHAT IN THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?

"Bella...I..." Edward whispers.

"Shouldn't be doing this." I finish his sentence.

I hurry from his lap and turn off the record player.

"Edward, there are so many reasons that...that can't happen. Plus, you don't want me. I get your situation, nothing like a quick rebound to take your mind off of things."

He shakes his head and begins to talk, but I continue.

"Don't worry Edward, this won't happen again. I promise."

I turn to walk out of the room when I hear him.

"Bella, wait. Please ..."

He stands up and grabs my arm. I stop and turn around.

"Edward. You don't have to say anything." I shrug and force a weak smile.

"Bella, stop. It's not what you think..."

He groans and runs his hand through his hair. I can't help but giggle when his hair stays sticking straight up like in the movie "There's Something About Mary".

"What's so funny?" He raises his brow, smiling crookedly.

"Your hair. This situation. Us. Me. I don't know. Everything."

I start laughing so hard I can't stop. It's the kind of laughing that makes your ribs hurt and makes you look insane, but you don't care. That kind of laughing. This whole situation is insane. Just a few hours ago I was sitting in my car outside the pub, wondering what was going on and now I'm here. With a roommate, who I almost tackled, and I've lost my mind. Completely lost it.

Edward crosses his arms, unable to stifle a laugh, too.

"What am I going to do with you?"

I wipe away the tears from laughing. "You, dear roommate, are going to tell me goodnight."

I turn and walk to my room, hoping to find my sanity by morning.

.

.

.

.

I spent the next night at Alice's, fulfilling my promise of 80s movies and girl chat. Alice fleetingly mentions Edward, making it easy for me to avoid the topic. I'm not a very good liar so I'm glad she's had a few drinks and doesn't notice.

I hadn't seen Edward since I left him standing in my living room on Friday night. I'm not purposely trying to avoid him. I just happen to leave the same time he jumps in the shower. And tip-toe out like a ninja.

I was actually looking forward to Monday, so waking up this morning wasn't as hard as it usually is. I was ready to move on from this weekend and start fresh. It's been a busier than normal Monday and I so want to get home and soak in a long, hot bath. I grab my keys and lock up the boutique, calling it a day. When I walk into the apartment, I can tell he's not here. His door is open and the place is dark.

I wonder where he goes all day?

I'm so beat that I rip my clothes off and toss them across the room. I pour the lemon vanilla bubble bath into the oversized tub, twist my hair into a high, messy bun and grab my iPod. I slide into the bubbles and sigh, pushing in my earbuds and searching through my playlists.

"This one looks good." I press play, close my eyes and let the lyrics resonate.

My fingertips graze the top of the water, spreading the bubbles across my body.

When the next song starts, I can't help but sing along. I find a bottle of shampoo, my favorite makeshift microphone.

You don't have to be beautiful
To turn me on
I just need your body baby
From dusk till dawn
You don't need experience
To turn me out
You just leave it all up to me
I'm gonna show you what it's all about.

You don't have to be rich
To be my girl
You don't have to be cool
To rule my world
Ain't no particular sign I'm more compatible with
I just want your extra time and your...Kiss

When I open my eyes, he's there. Edward. Edward Fucking Cullen is standing in the bathroom.

"Oh my god!" I flail in the tub, making a splash like Shamu, trying to cover myself.

"Bella, I'm so sorry." Edward turns around and covers his eyes.

"I heard you singing. I, uh, thought you were in your room. I knocked on the bathroom door, but you didn't answer." He runs his hands over his face. "Bella, I'm really sorry." He sighs as he walks out and shuts the door behind him.

I look down at my body, realizing that all the bubbles have me covered. Thank God!

It's not like he hasn't seen your ass, Bella. Ugh. Fucking YouTube!

I towel dry my hair and decide I'm not going to mention anything about the naked bathroom incident. Maybe I'll pretend it didn't happen. Avoidance is my best friend lately.

Too lazy to make food, I decide to order pizza. Hmm. Maybe I should ask Edward if he wants some. I knock on his door and hear him shuffle from the bed.

"Hi. Just wondering if you're hungry. I'm thinking about ordering a pizza."

He smiles down at me, seemingly grateful that I avoid mentioning the tub situation.

"That sounds great. Order whatever you want, I'll pay."

"You're not paying, Edward."

"We'll see about that."

"Just tell me what you want." I roll my eyes playfully.

He smirks down at me. "I like everything, Bella. I'm easy to please." He leans down and whispers, "What about you? Do you like meat?"

a;dsjfa;lksdjf;akljsdf;alkdjf (this is my brain, it has suffered an electrical outage due to the panty flooding)

I rise up onto my toes, trying to appear unfazed.

"I love meat, Edward. The meatier the better." I smirk back. "Oh, and Edward, I'm hard to please." I wink and head toward the kitchen to call in the order, leaving him with his mouth agape, knowing that I'm treading on dangerous panty waters right now.

I order from the little dive around the corner. They have the best pizza, and they're fast.

Edward has a fistful of cash ready as he lingers by the front door, thinking he can somehow pay the delivery guy before I can. Not gonna happen.

When I hear the knock, I run to open it, knowing Edward's going to try to beat me there.

I scream as he reaches for the knob. "Don't even think about it." He shoves me away playfully as he swings the door open.

When it's all the way open, something happens that I'll never forget. Ever.

"Um. Can someone please tell me what in the frickity-frack is going on here?"

I'd recognize that shrill voice anywhere.

Alice.


A/N: Ooooo! Busted! LOL!

First off, THANK YOU for all the recs, faves and reviews! It seriously keeps me motivated to get these chapters out quicker! I love, love, love them.

Favor to ask, if you're kind enough to review, and someone has rec'd this fic to you, can you say who it was? I'd like to thank them publicly.

Thanks so much to my hubs, CrackedFic, for his support and for beta-ing this story. If you haven't already, check out his story, "The Man in the Long Black Coat" It's a different kind of Edward and Bella than we're used to. A good different.

See you soon!