Betrayal

By Elle Kitty

It was raining on Dantooine, raining hard, and droplets of water clung to the Echani Handmaiden's hair, skin, and clothing. The rain had taken her by surprise; she had heard Mandalore's description of the great plains of Dantooine, somewhere he might like to retire to in order to find some peace, and Brianna had envisioned bright blue skies and white clouds, rays of sunshine that would sweep across the golden grasses and turn her hair a paler white and her skin a darker shade. She had pictured warmth; her vision had been closer to Onderon than to Dxun. And yet they had arrived to find rain pounding down like a battle march on the settlement of Khoonda.

She tried to brush away the water that lingered on her forehead but doing so would run the risk of upsetting the crate of supplies that she was carrying through the hallways of Ebon Hawk. In front of her, Atton led the way into the cargo hold and, placing his box into a corner, sat down and said, "Well, I guess it's just you and me now, handmaiden."

"What do you mean?" asked Brianna cautiously as she deposited her crate onto the floor as well. Atton had never done this before; the few times he had ever come into the cargo hold –her cargo hold, she had begun to think of it –had been to stand in the doorway and mock her. But here he was, sitting down and looking languorously up at her, almost as though he wished to make friends. "Everyone's on the ship –well, everyone but Zeke that is. But you know he's only out in Khoonda –though it's been a while; it can't possibly take this long to speak to the administrator and get permission to go into the ruins!"

"Don't get your knickers into a twist, handmaiden," the pilot said sweetly. "It's only Dantooine; what kind of threat could possibly be here? Besides, that's not what I wanted to talk to you about. Haven't you noticed that, now that Bao-Dur had given up his testy mechanic ways and all, we're the only hold-outs? You and I are the resistance, the outsiders. We've got to stick together before the overwhelming forces overcome us."

"The exile is hardly amassing an army against you, Atton," replied Brianna in a tone that she meant to be reasonable but instead came out a little too sharp. "And I do not understand why you take such offense at the choices of others, and you do take offense, Atton. Don't deny it. And here you're angry with Zeke rather than with the people who made their choices and were perfectly entitled to do so."

"I'm pretty sure that he didn't exactly make them feel as though they were 'entitled to make their own choices.'"

"What do you mean by that?"

He stared at her for a moment in disbelief and then said, "You've hung around here long enough to pick up on what he does, haven't you? Haven't you seen the way he influences people? D'you honestly think that just because he calls us his friends, we're suddenly immune to his infinite powers of persuasion?"

"And even if we are not," Brianna countered, "does it really matter anymore? We're all here for the same reasons and, even if Zeke's presence is affecting us, he has good intentions."

"Are you sure that we're all here for the same reasons? Even if his intentions are good, does that mean that we should be giving up all of our choices to him?" Atton thumbed through his Pazaak cards as he said this but his expression was grim. "Besides, good intentions can go awry."

"Even the good intentions of a Jedi such as Zeke?"

"Especially the good intentions of a Jedi." His tone was lofty. "Haven't you noticed that it seems as though most Jedi we've met are a little… two-faced? Take Atris for example: she sits in her little tower of ice and waits for the Sith to reveal themselves. She says that she's the Jedi who is fighting the real war against the Sith –but she sends Zeke out to do all of the leg work. I'll bet she didn't tell Karis the half of what's going on and Kreia is just the same. The Jedi are teachers… but not when it comes to teaching the truth."

Brianna found that she did not have anything to say to this so she only pushed a plasteel cylinder to the side and sat down upon the metal floor. The cargo hold was her territory after all and even if Atton insisted on lingering and complaining to her, Brianna was going to make sure that she was comfortable.

When Atton realized that she wasn't going to yell at him and make him leave, he opened his mouth to say something further. He then promptly closed it when Mira passed by the open doorway. She paused when she saw Brianna but scowled when she saw Atton and took a moment to glare at the pilot before moving on. He watched her go before turning back to the handmaiden with such a wounded expression that Brianna had to bite her lip to keep from smiling.

"You might as well laugh," he said to the Echani sourly. "Another trip halfway across the galaxy from Dxun to Dantooine and she's said nothing to me. Nothing."

"It isn't as though you have been very conversational these past few days." For, in truth, Atton had mostly kept to himself.

"Alright, point taken. But still-"

"Haven't you been ignoring her, not the other way around?"

"She's been talking to you, hasn't she?" When Brianna did not answer, Atton laughed glumly. "It's you women. You always flock together to attack the poor innocent man like some pack of harpies."

"You're hardly innocent, Atton. And when a man wrongs another of my gender, I cannot help but want to retaliate. But, truly, your folly is hardly any concern of mine –although it could affect your piloting."

"So that is all you care about! The success of the mission."

"Statement: Oh, goody: More confrontation."

Before the handmaiden could respond, Bao-Dur and HK-47 had entered the cargo hold. The Iridonian glanced at the confrontation expressions sported by both Atton and Brianna and said wryly, "Mira said that you seemed to be actually getting along… but now I see that would be too good to be true."

"Did Mira… say anything about me?" asked Atton cautiously as he got to his feet.

"Statement: Oh yes, unreliable meatbag. She suggested that you do something to yourself –but I dismissed the notion as being anatomically impossible."

Bao-Dur winced. "Right."

"Well… Is Zeke going to come back from Khoonda any time soon or is he planning to stay the night there?" said the pilot crossly, obviously a little desperate to change the subject.

"It's hardly noon," said Bao-Dur reprovingly, "and the general is only there to get Administrator Adare's permission to enter the enclave ruins and I'm only here, Atton, to tell you that the general wants us to meet him in the admin building."

"Why?" Atton so suspiciously that Brianna sighed with exasperation.

"Why d'you think? The general wants us to come with him to the Jedi enclave. He said that there's probably going to be a lot of locked doors and such and T3 was due for an upgrade."

"Statement: All of the upgrades in the galaxy could not bring that tin bucket up to par."

"The little guy's supposed to be in sleep mode for the rest of the day," continued Bao-Dur, pointedly ignoring HK. "I guess that means that it's you and me, Atton."

"Great," he grumbled. "That's just great. Might I inquire as to how the rain is doing?"

"Harder than ever and it doesn't look like it has any intention of lightening up any time soon. Maybe it'll feel sorry for us and let up."

"Great. Well, don't mind me but I'm going to see if I can locate an extra slicker. Maybe two extra slickers, one for me and… another for me." He headed to the door, adding, "And Zeke really is going senile if he's got it in his permacrete skull that he can control the wind and the rain. And the mud. Don't forget the mud. Now I know I put that slicker somewhere…"

As he exited, Brianna and Bao-Dur heard Mira call out, "Why don't you just stick your head into a garbage bag, Rand?"

Bao-Dur sighed and shook his head. "If they keep this up, they'll tear the ship apart between the two of them. But, hopefully, now that we've settled down for the moment, things will… also settle down."

"Dejected statement: Settling down in this Iridonian's vocabulary seems to mean… less confrontation."

"Hopefully less confrontation," said Brianna fervently. "Is Zeke really going to trek out to the enclave with all of the wind and the rain?"

"The general will do as the general does," he answered noncommittally with a shrug. "Zeke will probably do as he wants; I wouldn't expect anything else from him. Besides, now is as good a time as any other. There's no indication that the rain is going to stop." He hesitated before going on. "You know, there was a time when you'd have protested over Zeke going out into unfavorable conditions."

"I think that time has passed," responded the handmaiden as she got to her feet before adding with a smile. "I am weary of this world and weary of attempting to stand in Zeke's way but you probably should go down to the Admin building before the Exile decides to take off on his own. Hopefully, Atton has recovered from the… shock."

"Hopefully," echoed Bao-Dur as he departed.

.:Seven Standard Hours Later:.

It was raining; drops of water were pattering against the ship's hull but the sound of the storm was nothing compared to the racket Mira made when armed with pots and pans. "I hate men," the huntress muttered as she threw a spatula against the skillet. Brianna placed a steak onto the pan and Mira flipped it. "I hate outdated cooking systems and I hate men."

"You don't hate all men," Visas rejoined as she stealthily stepped into the main hold.

"Out of my kitchen," Mira called out from the corner of the room that amounted to the "kitchen." She nodded to Brianna as the handmaiden deposited another chunk of meat onto the skillet. "I am queen of the pots and pans and I do not wish to hear the opinions of my subjects!" she said to Visas. However, when the Miraluka exited once more, Mira turned to Brianna and said, "She has a point. I don't hate all men, just men that are morons."

"Oh?" said the handmaiden, only half-listening to Mira's torrent.

"I just hate men who are morons," she repeated and then shook her head dejectedly. "Which seems to amount to every man in the galaxy now that I think about it. I tried to talk to him, you know. He just stood there. It's so strange; when it's good, it's great… but when it's bad, it's awful. Did I do something wrong? I remember when I first saw… never mind. No one gets second chances. He's a moron. I'm a moron. Hey, if things just amounted to that, we'd be perfect for each other, wouldn't we? But he's a moron. All men are morons but, next time… there won't be a next time."

Brianna checked to make sure that Visas had truly left the kitchen and then said to Mira in a low voice, "You don't think that Zeke is a moron, do you?"

"I –no. He's not a moron, but he isn't like any other man. Atton is any other man; Zeke is something different. Hey, they're on completely different ends of the alphabet." Mira chuckled slightly as she flipped the steak again. "But I tried to talk to him about the way Atton had been acting and do you know what he said? He told me to be "the bigger person" and approach Atton first. Can you believe that?"

"Not really," she said absentmindedly as she put another steak onto the pan. "I would have thought it apparent that, between the two of you, Atton is obviously the taller person."

Mira shot Brianna a scathing look and, seeing that the handmaiden was obviously not paying any attention, said, "And then I asked him if the two of you had hooked up a power coupling."

"What!" exclaimed the handmaiden, broken out of her reverie, as her face turned bright red.

Laughing rather meanly, the huntress replied, "That's what he said too and then, when I attempted to elaborate, he turned and walked away. Can you believe it?"

"Certainly," said Brianna and, as if to validate her statement, promptly turned away from Mira and walked smartly off to one of the seats in the main hold and sat down.

"I think that he would like to," continued Mira musingly, staring down at the sizzling steak in her pan. "Charge up your loading ramp, I mean. Have you seen the way he looks at you?" When the handmaiden did not say anything, she added, "Not that you would see the way that he looks at you. You're pleasantly oblivious to that sort of thing, aren't you? You've got your feathers all frazzled about him wanting you to become a Jedi and you can't see what he really wants from you because of it. Poor vestal little Handmaiden, getting her innocent mind all sullied up by my not so innocent mouth."

"You don't think he really wants that, do you?" whispered Brianna as she turned various shades of red that varied from primrose to crimson. "He's not that sort of man, is he?"

She shrugged. "He's a man like any other, sweetums, and, like most other men on this ship, what he wants is indecipherable."

"But-" Brianna closed her mouth as the objects of her and Mira's conversation entered the room. Zeke, Atton, and Bao-Dur were dirty, tired, and splattered with mud but were otherwise more or less unharmed. The exile at least seemed to be rather pleased with himself.

Atton sat beside Brianna and slumped against the back of the chair. The handmaiden thought whe heard him mutter something like, "…surrounded by Jedi and then swarmed by ghosts of dead Jedi and then some fop with wheaty hair shows up and thinks he's all that just because he can bow. I can bow. Even Mandalore can bow. I'm about ready to hitchhike back to Nar Shaddaa." Then, more loudly, he said, "Is that steak? Smells like it's burning."

"It is not burning!" Mira cried out, highly affronted.

Ignoring what she clearly perceived to be a trivial exchange, Kreia stepped forward out of the shadows of the corridor and asked Zeke directly, "Did you find what you were looking for among the ruins of the enclave?"

"Why do you always ask whether or not I found what I was looking for?" said Zeke to his mentor. "The answer is usually 'no.'"

"But you always find something, do you not?"

"Sure, but we weren't too pleased to find some moronic historian who's setting himself up to be a Jedi if his fancy clothes are any indication," input Atton before the Exile could speak.

Zeke glanced at his companion but did not contest Atton's point. Instead, he said, "I want to go back tomorrow. There's someone –something –that I need to see again." He walked about the room and when it seemed that everyone had returned to their previous tasks, he leaned down behind Brianna and murmured, "I hope you don't have anything against the rain, handmaiden, because there's something that I want you to see tomorrow."

The handmaiden looked about, trying to see if anyone else had noticed their exchange but Atton and Mira seemed too enraptured with their silent battle of the wills and Bao-Dur and Mandalore too preoccupied with their conversation. Kreia gave no indication that she had heard anything so it was only Visas who looked to Brianna and, with a twinge at the corner of her mouth, looked away again. Brianna looked back to Zeke but the Exile had moved away and did not seem to be looking at her anymore. Quietly, the handmaiden returned to help Mira with the food.

Flashing a quick, sour smile, the huntress handed Brianna two plates and indicated that they were to go to Visas and Zeke. Brianna glanced down at one of the steaks in the pan, this one blackened, and asked, "What's that?"

Mira pushed Brianna aside and said, "What d'you think it is?" The handmaiden moved on and handed Visas a plate and then paused for a moment, listening to Atton's account of the afternoon's events:

"…So there I was and this huge bug-thing suddenly flung itself out of the shadows at me and I shot it point blank right between the eyes-"

"Well done," said Mira breezily as she moved briskly towards Atton and deposited a plate in his lap before walking away.

Atton looked sorrowfully down at the burned chunk of meat. "Well done, indeed."

.:Near the Enclave Courtyard:.

It was raining but that did nothing to discourage Bao-Dur and T3-M4 as they sifted through parts at the salvagers' makeshift camp out on the grassy hill. The mud stained the soles of Brianna's boots and the rain dampened her hood and soaked through to her silvery hair but the handmaiden only determinedly brushed one of her braids away from where it lay plastered against her cheek and followed Zeke as the Exile wove his way through knee high grass.

The enclave, or rather what had once been the Jedi enclave, came into view and, for a moment, Brianna was taken aback, stunned by both the beauty and the horror of what lay before her. Half-shrouded by the rain and the mist, what she could see had once been a magnificent domed structure was now a humbled and crumbling crater. Archways had collapsed and the walls and the pavement of the courtyard were scarred by charcoal-colored scorch marks that adorned the shattered enclave like battle scars adorning a war veteran. The main difference between the empty shell of a building and any battle scarred veteran was that the veteran, in the very nature of the word, would still be alive and breathing while the enclave was very much dead; a casualty much in the way that the Sith Academy on Korriban had been a casualty, in the way that the Exile was a casualty.

Zeke stiffened as he climbed over the rubble on the edge of the courtyard, pausing as though Brianna had spoken aloud. Instead, he said, "On rainy days, we'd go hiking out on the plains, trek out to the Sandral Estate and back. We'd go places no one else would go, see things that no one else had seen in thousands of years, maybe even more."

"'We?'"

He checked himself and then answered, "Revan and Malak. I'm sure that Atris has told me all about me being a part of their crowd when I was at the Academy. I know what you're thinking," said Zeke with a crooked smile, "and you're right that I probably shouldn't have hung out with her… and you're wrong. Revan wasn't like that, not then. If Atris is right that there was always some kind of dark seed in her, Revan kept it buried deep down. But Revan isn't why I wanted to bring you here. Revan has nothing to do with it… and yet everything to do with everything. Let's go."

He offered her his assistance as Brianna climbed through the rubble and she accepted it. Releasing her hand –a little reluctantly, Brianna thought –he took another look around and said, "The sublevel is much more intact than the rest of the academy but it was swarming with… creatures. I think we cleared most of them out yesterday but there may be a few more skulking around. It's dark down there so stay close and-"

"Why did we leave Bao-Dur at the salvage camp?" Brianna suddenly demanded.

"What?" said Zeke, clearly bewildered at the abrupt change of subject. "Because… because he's the best at looking through salvage and figuring out what we need? Why?"

"Because, based on my range of skills, you should have brought me here if there was an army of enemies but you said that there are none. There can't be many locked doors because, if there were, you'd have made Atton come along. Tell me, is there anything left in this enclave for you to look for?"

Appearing to be a little cowed by her razor sharp perception, he admitted, "Not really. But there's plenty to see."

"Then you have brought me here to show me… something?"

"I didn't bring you here to show you anything," he replied a little defensively. "I'm not going to show you anything that you can't already see. And I know that you can see because, what I saw on Korriban, you saw too."

The handmaiden stared at him for a moment, filled with repulsion upon remembering the imprints she had born witness to in the Sith Academy. "I never want to see anything like that ever again," she told him flatly but clearly struggled to keep her voice even. "What I saw there was… hatred. And envy. And evil. I never want to see that again."

"That's exactly why you need to come with me into the enclave," said Zeke beseechingly. "I want you to see that not everything about the Force is evil or corrupt. Those people in that Academy were not the Force, they weren't accurate representations of what the Force can become when put into the hands of good, decent people. For sure it can be used for evil purposes but in that respect it is the same as any other tool. But the Force isn't always a weapon and it isn't always misused. That's what you need to see. You need to see that it be used for good and you shouldn't fight me on this. You said that Atris was wrong about me. If she's wrong about me, why wouldn't she be wrong about the Force?"

She hesitated. What he told her was so right… and yet there was still a part of her that still argued that he must be wrong and that to trust him would be a betrayal of what made her the Handmaiden. Finally, she looked up at his open, earnest expression and said carefully, "I'll see what you brought me here to see but… if I do some, if I become something, it must be my choice and my choice alone. I will not permit you to force me into becoming something that I do not wish to become."

"You're worried that I would force you to become a Jedi?" The Exile sounded confused and wounded. "Do you not know me at all?"

Brianna looked up at him and saw through the rain that he was hurt. She could see that there was some kind of feeling of betrayal in his brown eyes only half masked by the brown hair plastered against his forehead. But what could she do? Refusing to see was like a betrayal to herself, to Brianna, but losing her blindness would be a betrayal to the role she accepted, to the Handmaiden. Brianna looked up at Zeke and was suddenly struck by the desire to make amends, to make him like her again, to find redemption in his eyes, she reconsidered. What would the greater betrayal be? She weighed her options in her mind for she found that she could not do anything without betraying either Brianna or the Handmaiden.

"I do not think that you would force me to become a Jedi," she said slowly. "I think it would be a part of me that would force another part of myself to become something it is not yet ready to be. Atris told me that you influence others without even realizing that you are doing so. I do not think that is justified but part of me is clinging to it. I need time; I need to gather my courage. But I will see and not make a judgment until I have seen all that you believe I need to see."

"If anything, Atris is the one who has bent your will!" he exclaimed before he could stop himself. "She took away your own name and you still haven't taken it back as you have every right to do so. But…" Zeke stopped. "Let's not –it's not about Atris right now. It's about you, Handmaiden. It's all about you."

Brianna smiled despite herself. "I –I don't know where to begin," she confessed shyly. "It's never been 'all about me.' Where to begin?"

"How about getting out of the rain?" he suggested.

She nodded with another shy smile and let Zeke lead the way down into the sublevel. As they descended down the stairs, Brianna watched the Exile and then chose to speak her thoughts aloud, "There's something different about you. I find it… difficult to describe but it has been present ever since we landed on Dantooine. Its-"

"Maybe it's because I feel more than a little wary about returning home after so many years." He did not look at her as he said this. "Maybe it's because I feel a little more than depressed ever since the first moment I entered the Admin building and heard the settlers talking about how much they hate Jedi. Of all of the things I expected, I did not expect that."

"I'm sorry." She paused as they reached the foot of the stairs but Zeke kept walking into the hallway. Hurrying to catch up, she added, "Sometimes I wonder if my sisters would hate me if they were to see the way I act now. They'd hate me even more, I suppose, were I a Jedi."

"If they'd hate you, would they truly be your sisters? If they were your sworn enemies, would they still be your sisters?"

"My father's blood runs as strongly in their veins as it does in mine. Even if they were my sworn enemies until death and beyond, they would still be my sisters. Nothing can change that."

"Perhaps it is a similar thing with me and the Jedi," he surprised her by admitting. "Even if I hated them, I'd still be tied to them and I'd still be grateful for the teaching they've given me –no matter whatever happened afterwards."

"Atton says that the Jedi are teachers except when it comes to telling their students the truth."

Zeke hesitated. "Atton… has a great many opinions, doesn't he? I don't agree with him on that one, but I won't say that it isn't valid. What he said isn't limited to just the Jedi, but to all teachers. But that's his opinion and this is mine: I think it's often best for any student to discover certain truths on their own." They came upon a small garden at the end of the hallway and Zeke stopped, saying, "Here we are."

"Now what happens?"

"I'm not sure," he said with a wry smile. "I've never taught anyone who was so unwilling to learn."

"I am a handmaiden," contested Brianna. "Shouldn't the very nature of my position be an indication of my 'willingness?'"

Chuckling, he responded, "Then you're certainly the most unwilling handmaiden I've ever met. Are you ready?"

"But… what if I'm no good at the Force? What if I can't use it? What then?"

"It either takes to you or it doesn't," he replied with a shrug. "I think it will take to you; this sort of thing does run in families. But, in order for it to take to you, you have to take to it first." Zeke reached forward and placed his fingertips against her temples. "Close your eyes."

Brianna closed her eyes and felt him move his hands away from her face.

"Listen."

Brianna listened. She heard the rain pattering against the ground above her. She heard the roll of thunder and envisioned the crack of white hot lightning that must have accompanied it. But that seemed to melt away until she heard the trickle of water pouring into a basin long dried up and the laughter of children filled her ears along with the rustle of pages in a book being turned by a careless hand. She heard the quiet noises of conversation, heard footsteps in the corridor, the swish of a robe and the sound of a hem being dragged across uneven pavement. There was so much to hear that it was blinding and yet Brianna wanted more. She wanted to open her eyes and see but somehow she knew that that would break the spell. She felt a tingling in her wrists and the back of her neck like a warm whisper. She took deeper breaths and that strange sensation filled her throat and chest, oddly familiar and pleasant as though she had forgotten how to breathe a moment ago and had now learned anew.

Then the flood of the sounds of daily life dissipated and all that was left was a hum that seemed to fill the hollows of the shattered enclave, rebuilding it through noise… but not through noise. Through just… being there. It seemed to fill the cavities of Brianna's being as well and she took another breath as though in an effort to drown the hum but the sudden flood of oxygen proved to be overwhelming and she dropped to her knees.

Someone was there to catch her as she fell, to support her weight, and he whispered a single word to her, "Awaken," to which she responded with another word.

"What?" said Zeke as the Handmaiden opened her eyes. "What did you just say?"

"What did I just say?" she repeated hazily, groping at the ground to secure her perception of where she was. "Did I say something?"

"Brianna."

She blushed bright pink, not at the fact that he said her name but because of the fact that he saying her name seemed so pleasing to her. "Yes," she said simply, not knowing what else to say. "That is the name that my mother gave me, the name I would not tell you for fear of you gaining power over me. How did you learn it?"

"You said it!" His expression was nonplussed but he quickly smiled when he realized that she was teasing him.

Brianna broke into a smile too, this one a little sad, as she recited her living family's names the way her father always had, "Adele, Clytemnestra, Serena, Lyra, Alianne, Brianna."

He shook his head and helped her to her feet. "Not Adele. Not Clytemnestra. Not Serena, not Lyra, not Alianne. Just Brianna. Just Brianna, the only Echani sister that matters." Zeke laughed. "I cannot tell you what a relief it is to finally know your name. Are you sure that you're not worried that I'll now have power over you?"

"You couldn't have power over me even if you wanted to. I wouldn't give it up! But… you don't want power over me, do you?"

Still smiling, he shook his head.

"What happens now?" she asked, looking around at the garden. "Is that it? Did the Force… take to me? Is that all there is to becoming a Jedi?" Brianna stopped when she saw that he was laughing at her.

"That's hardly it," he told her gently. "Mira and Bao-Dur barely have their feet wet and they've been practicing for weeks. Sometimes, usually, it takes years. It took less time for me, although Master Vrook always told anyone that would stand still long enough to listen to him that I always convinced people that I knew more than I actually did, although –never mind that. The Force definitely took to you, Hand –Brianna. It took to you almost too strongly; I think you must have been pushing yourself to see and hear more than you can handle at this point. You're not a Jedi yet; you've barely recognized your Force Sensitivity, but you could choose to become on. As always, the choice is yours."

Brianna nodded and then nodded again, nodded a third time and said, "I want to. I want to be like my mother; I want to be like you. I don't want to be just another of my sisters; I want to be Brianna the Jedi. I couldn't want anything more than I want this. I want you… to teach me. Nothing could take that wanting away now. It's… it's swallowed me up, but it hasn't swallowed me up. It's a wave but it's a wave that I ride. I won't drown. I realize now that I won't drown. I can swim. You can show me how to swim; you can show me how to use the Force."

He didn't say anything for a moment but finally spoke. "If that is what you truly want. Being a Jedi isn't a life I would impose on anyone, but if you want it, I will teach you."

She flung her arms around his neck in a burst of inspiration and happiness. He held her for a moment and then, with great care, released her. Brianna let go and then looked around. "Where do we go from here? I've listened and I heard but on Korriban, I saw. Can I see here too?"

"Soften the focus of your sight," Zeke answered and, for a moment, Brianna thought his voice sounded uneven. "See without looking. Hear without listening."

Doing as he suggested, she allowed her sight to linger on the outlines of objects and not on the details. It took a moment but soon blurry figures began to manifest themselves against the backdrop of the broken enclave. "Oh," she made a small noise in the back of her throat as she perceived the small forms of younglings, Jedi hopefuls, toying with the art of levitating pebbles as they sat and crouched at the feet of a young woman who was perched on the lip of the fountain, dark hair falling forward to shroud her face as she studied a book. The woman glanced upward as if sensing Brianna's presence and her lips curled into a polite, open smile as she looked at, no, through the Echani.

"Revan," Brianna heard Zeke murmur.

"Is that really-"

"Not yet. Maria Starlight then, Revan soon to become." He sounded regretful. "Maria Starlight then; her name was Maria Starlight and she was beautiful."

But before Brianna could ask what exactly he meant by that, an imperious voice and a voice that she knew well, called out from within Brianna's head. "Padawan Starlight."

Revan –Maria –smiled again as another Jedi in familiar white robes entered the pavilion. "I don't know why you call me 'padawan,' Atris, said Maria in a voice like syrup. You and I both know that I was appointed the rank of Jedi Knight more than a month ago. I believe it was about the same time that you were assigned to –I mean, granted the position of Assistant Historian."

"Is your new status your excuse for not watching over the younglings as you were told to do so?"

"Then might I ask what you are doing outside of the library?" Maria watched Atris through half closed, almond shaped eyes. "I would have thought that being an assistant historian would have entailed watching over books."

Atris was silent for a moment. "You are shameless, Maria."

"Well, if being 'shameful' is being you, than I'd rather be 'shameless.'" She gathered hanks of her hair and twisted them back away from her oval face, fastening them into a neat bun at the nape of her neck. "Why are you here? Were you sent here to chastise me?"

"No, but as I approached, I realized that you were in severe need of being reminded of what it means to be a Jedi."

"What? Come to collect on an overdue library book, then?"

"Hardly," Atris glanced down at the younglings as though suspecting them of eavesdropping. Noticing this, Maria spoke up.

Come now, Atris, she said lazily, they're too young to have disappointed you already.

Maria, said Atris but then stopped as though reconsidering the word. "Maria –though I have heard that you call yourself 'Maria' no longer –that your name is now 'Revan.' Is that true?"

Maria's –Revan's –dark eyes seemed to flash. "And, if it was, what comes of it?"

"Nothing comes of it… if you stop now. But, really, is it part of your identity crisis that you insist on petitioning the Jedi Council day after day for leave to go to war when you already know the answer? Really, you and Alek-"

"Malak," interrupted Revan through clenched teeth.

"You and Malak disturb the Jedi Council nearly every other day, pressuring them to go to war. Every day that you do not petition them, you receive the same answer: no."

"I thought the only thing you were supposed to keep tabs on were book fines."

"Why do you keep going back?"

Revan was silent but then said, "People are dying, Atris. Can you not feel them? Do you not want to feel it or are the rumors true and your connection to the Force is not what it once was? Atris did not answer and Revan clearly had not expected her to. "I feel it, Atris. I feel them. I see death in my dreams. I hear the call for war in every one of my footsteps. I see and feel myself fight and I ask myself why I waste my skills sparring instead of fighting the Mandalorians. I hear others praise my power and my prowess in the Force and I wonder why they keep me in the Enclave. Every day, I look at my lightsaber and I question what it means to be a Jedi Sentinel when I am held back from protecting the people who need protection the most."

"I will not pretend to understand you," replied Atris loftily, "but I urge you to reconsider what it means to be a Jedi. I urge you to trust in the instruction and the knowledge of the Jedi Enclave. Your time will come, Maria. Do not force it upon yourself." She turned away but then turned back. "And I urge you to do justice to your duties as a Jedi," she added, glancing down at the younglings run amok.

Following Atris's gaze, Revan shrugged. ""If you're so concerned, maybe you should turn the library into a nursery otherwise I'll do the efficient thing and cast a touch of Force Statis on the lot of them." Atris appeared outraged and exited in a bit of a huff. Revan watched her go and, when Atris left, something in her melted and she seemed to shrink back to being just Maria. She sat back down and shook her head. "Why would I force dreams of death upon myself?" She wondered aloud and then Brianna allowed the vision to fade.

Neither Zeke nor Brianna said anything for a moment. Finally, the Exile said, "That was Revan… and that was Atris. Was she as you expected?"

"More or less," she replied which made Zeke laugh. She began to join in and then added, "Revan was… Revan was human. She was rude, certainly, but she was human."

"Does that surprise you?"

"It made me understand where good intentions could… go awry." Brianna paused. "I'm not sure how I feel about this. I need time to think. Was she this rude to everyone?"

"She was rude," Zeke conceded, "but what she had to say had some truth to it."

"Like what she said about Atris's skill with the Force?" Zeke said nothing so Brianna pushed forward. "It was true, wasn't it? But that seems so little like Atris… and yet explains so much."

The Exile shrugged. "I'll let you find your own opinions. I myself knew very little at the time and, well… I had other things on my mind. I went to war and when I came back Atris was on the Jedi Council just in time to exile me. I don't know how or why she was appointed but I don't think that there were many contenders for that position left. Perhaps if I had not gone to war…" he let the thought hang aimlessly.

"What were you doing?" Brianna asked curiously. "You know so much more about me than I do about you."

Smiling at her again, he replied, "Well then. Follow me."

He led her away from the crumbling garden and through the corridors. As they walked, he said, "I wasn't the most popular Jedi with some of the masters either. In particular, one master, Vrook, seemed to particularly despise me."

"You mentioned that he thought you pretended to know more than you did. Was he trying to discredit you? Did it stem from jealousy?"

"I think it stemmed from something a little deeper than that," he answered with a quick laugh before turning solemn. "Vrook was one of the masters who favored execution over exile."

Brianna fell quiet, stunned into silence. Atris had never told her of anything like this and, unless the Exile lied which she knew he did not, there seemed to have been a darkness in the Jedi at that time that Atris had never spoken of. Feeling betrayed, she looked up at the Exile who mistook the sad expression for something else. 'Cheer up," he said. "I'm obviously still here."

"Obviously," she agreed with a faint smile as Zeke paused before a door and began fiddling with the locking mechanism.

"Do as you did before," he threw over his shoulder. "Feel, don't think."

She felt and she did not think and, when the door opened, she saw Zeke, a much younger Zeke, standing at the workbench and fiddling with components as a much older man in a flowing robe entered from another door. "Karis," said the older master.

There was something different about the Zeke that leaned over his workbench. He was younger, certainly, but it was as though the Exile had a great weight pressing down on his shoulders that was absent in his younger counterpart. It was a Zeke without the pressure of Malachor, a Zeke who could do battle without the weight of war. It was a man who stood tall, who would not melt into the shadows. But it was not the Zeke that Brianna knew and that made her uncomfortable. She glanced over at the Exile and saw that he was smiling wryly at his younger self.

Without turning around or even looking up, the younger Zeke said, "I'm a Jedi Knight, Master Vrook. You don't have to address me by my surname anymore."

"It has not escaped my notice that you have unduly risen in the ranks of the Jedi Order," the master said stiffly. "But it remains my duty to see to all Jedi Counselors. Therefore, you will always be a Padawan to me, Zeke Karis, albeit a disorderly and disobedient one at that."

"Was there something that you needed of me, Master Vrook?" The imprint of the young Zeke asked. He sounded both pensive and amiable but there was something in his voice that reminded Brianna too much of the defiance in Revan's. For sure Maria's insolence was absent but the defiance was there, alive and seething.

Master Vrook sniffed audibly. "There is little that I require of one such as you, boy. What I have found disturbing is that you seem to have decided that the Jedi require little of you. You have grown too headstrong and too arrogant, too much like another whose company I have urged you to avoid in the past. Yet you defy me."

"If you're talking about Maria and Alek, I see no issue with one Jedi Knight speaking to another about current events that should be every concern of the Jedi's."

"Who else would I be talking about? And I am not speaking of 'Maria;' you and I both know that she has decided to call herself by another name and that worries me."

"Why shouldn't she?" It was only now that the young Zeke turned to face Master Vrook. "If 'Maria Starlight' is the name that the Jedi gave her, why should she not be able to choose another, one more to her liking?"

"You and I both know that that isn't the issue. But that is beside the fact." Vrook took another step forward. "You want to go to war."

He stiffened. "And so what if I do?"

"Do you even know what you'd be fighting for? The Council does not support the war; by fighting for the Republic, you'd be fighting against the Jedi."

"I thought that the Jedi did not deal in ultimatums. Only the Sith."

"Do you call me Sith, Karis?" Vrook bristled at the idea.

"That I do not say."

"You want to fight, do you, Karis?" he asked coldly. "You want to fight but you're not sure of what you want to fight for, are you? So you'll fight for whatever cause anyone throws at you. Does Revan make your decisions for you as well as share your bed?"

The younger Zeke flinched and his lightsaber flew at him from the workbench. He caught it in his left hand and it ignited to reveal a blazing green blade. He held it in one hand as he stared at Vrook with anger in his brown eyes.

Vrook did nothing in retaliation, only observed the younger man. "If that's how you feel about it," he said gruffly, "you are to be confined to the Enclave until I have a word with the other members of the Council concerning this behavior of yours."

"Don't threaten me," said Zeke in such a quiet and low voice it was dangerous. "You've been looking for a reason to punish me for weeks and, finding none, came and sought me out in order to try and bait me." He shut off his weapon and clipped it to his belt. "Don't threaten me."

"If you and Revan and Malak went to war… I don't care if you go to war, Karis; you're so hot headed that you'd probably throw yourself into an impossible situation and get yourself killed but that is not my concern. My concern is how many you would throw into that impossible situation along with you. How many would you and Maria bring to death's door?"

The Exile, the real Exile, the one Brianna knew, suddenly waved a hand and the vision disappeared. She looked to him and he did not meet her eyes. "I did not mean for you to see that," he said quietly, a very different man than the one she had seen in the vision, "but at least now you know. We should go."

And Brianna followed him out into the rain.

.:Khoonda, the Ebon Hawk's Landing Pad:.

It was raining but Brianna had decided that she didn't care anymore. She had actually grown quite fond of it in the last hour she had sat outside of the Ebon Hawk. It suited her mood and she supposed that she would find a perfect, lovely blue sky to be about the most vexing thing in the galaxy at this point in time. She did not understand why she felt so betrayed; Revan must have been so long ago, but how could one handmaiden stack up when placed beside a woman who had brought the galaxy to its knees only to decide that it wasn't good enough for her and then disappeared in a flurry of ebony hair and blue robes? He had called her Maria Starlight… and he had said that she was beautiful.

There was the patter of footsteps on the landing ramp behind her and soon Mira sat down beside her with a slight thump. "Hey," said the huntress. "You doing alright?"

"I told him my name," she said quietly, finding no need to conceal her emotions when they were so obvious. "I told him my name and then I found out that he and Revan… that they had…"

"Hooked up a power coupling?" Mira suggested.

Brianna laughed softly. "Yes."

The two women looked out at the rain. "And that bothers you?" asked Mira.

Once again finding no reason to lie, she replied honestly, "Yes."

"Right." The huntress settled herself down on the ramp and leaned against her hands. "That's right; you didn't exactly like it when Visas came aboard. How'd you find out?"

"I saw a vision at the enclave. One of the Jedi masters accused a younger Exile of it and… he didn't deny it."

"The younger Exile or the Exile we all know and love?"

"Both."

Mira was quiet again and Brianna was not sure if she was ever going to respond. What she did say was never what the Echani would have thought. "Okay, handmaiden. You're being an idiot. Okay, maybe you're just being cautious and that's a good thing or maybe we women can sometimes be too trusting and we shouldn't be and, if that's the case, you're dead on right. I mean, Force knows I haven't given up on Atton though Force knows that I should. But he likes you. I mean, he likes you. More than I think you realize and more than maybe even I realize. I haven't been able to tell so well with you, so far, but if you do… like him, you shouldn't let this stand in the way. Got it?"

"Got it," repeated Brianna with a weak smile and then watched the rain some more.

.:The Ebon Hawk's Cargo Hold:.

It was raining and the handmaiden could hear the drops through the train of her interior thought. I am good, I am worthy, I am divine, she thought to herself. You are good, you are worthy, you are divine.

She felt as though she was in twilight, but twilight is a gateway and Brianna felt as though she was going nowhere. She looked up at the doorway and found it empty. It was as though someone had left her in the dark and it was too quiet, there was only the rain.

It was the way that Atris might have wanted her to spend her time on the Exile's crew, in solitude where she could become corrupted. But Brianna was slowly discovering that if the Exile was corrupted, Brianna wanted to be corrupted too. It did not seem to matter anymore where she was, but if she was with him.

Having come to this conclusion, she stepped out of the cargo hold and stepped lightly down the hallway. She passed by the dormitory but Kreia was not there, which Brianna would have found strange had she not had other things on her mind. She walked quickly to the cockpit, where Zeke was asleep in the navigator's chair as he had been all of those weeks ago when they left Korriban and she had not dared to wake him. This time… this time was different.

"Zeke," she said softly. "Zeke."

He woke with a start, brushing his brown hair away from his face before recognizing her. "Brianna?"

"I have decided something," she begun seriously. "I have thought about it and I have come to a conclusion. I want you to train me to become a Jedi but it's more than that. I want to stay with you, on this ship, but it's more than that. I want to stand beside you, for all of your days. Atris… she told me that you were in the darkness and maybe you were and maybe you still are, but it does not matter anymore. I swear that it does not matter to me anymore. If you are in the darkness and you have pulled me into it, as she might say you have, then that is what I want. I'll stay in the darkness with you."

"But… your sisters…"

"I swear it does not matter to me anymore," she said. "I could go back to them; even now, knowing the Force, I could go back. But I do not wish to be a handmaiden anymore. I'd rather stay in the darkness with you."

Zeke stared at her in awe for a few moments. "That is good," he said slowly, "for I would say that we have no need for handmaidens on this ship."

The rain seemed to be lightening up when Brianna stepped out of the cockpit and the sun seemed to be peeking out through cracks in the sky. She thought she could hear Atton and Mira in quiet conference in the side cargo hold off of the main hold but she could not be sure. She began to walk back to her cargo hold to gather her things, for she had finally felt confident enough to move completely into the dormitory with Mira and Visas but stopped in the middle of the corridor when she saw Kreia awaiting her return in the middle of the doorway to the cargo hold.

"Kreia."

The old woman seemed to have no need for pleasantries. "Have you ever considered that your mistress might find greater service from you, were you to think of yourself rather than the Exile?"

"Atris is my mistress no longer, Kreia. It is done."

"Indeed it is done," Kreia replied harshly. "It had indeed been done… all that was left was for it to have been done in deed. I should think that you have sparred one, last time and he has won. He has won, hasn't he?" Brianna was silent. "He is your master now; she is no longer your mistress. What interesting proceedings have taken place! I would not have thought a handmaiden –and such a lowly handmaiden at that –capable of such an act as betrayal."

"It is not an act of betrayal if I has been done for one for which I care for deeply!"

Brianna had spoken as firmly and strongly as she could but it did not stop the force of Kreia's final word for it seemed to travel everywhere all at once, buzzing in the Echani's ears and blinding her eyes and, far away on Telos, Atris awoke with that same tainted word resting softly upon her lips.