Now That I've Found You


When you're in high school, middle school, college, whatever, four years seem to go by slowly. And once you're out, it seems like it's a lot of time behind you, a lot of time wasted. It feels like it dragged on forever.

Hell, even working for four hours seems to drag on forever, whereas watching a couple of movies with some friends seems to go by in an instant. Maybe the saying time flies when you're having fun is true. To an extent.

The funny thing is, time seems to go by the fastest when you're trying not to waste it.

Cooper always felt like high school was the longest, most pointless four years of his life. And once he was out, time seemed to fly by.

The past four years, however, couldn't have gone by faster.

Hell, the past ten years couldn't have gone by faster.

It feels like just yesterday, that Cooper was giving Blaine a quick hug, telling him that he'd be back from California soon, and wishing him luck with his date, and telling him to have fun at the dance. It feels like just yesterday that Cooper got that phone call from their mom, telling him that Blaine had gotten in an accident. That he was in the hospital.

It feels like just yesterday, that Cooper saw hope of all things in that mysterious girl's red eyes, and it feels like just yesterday that Blaine woke up.

But it's been almost ten years now. In about a week, it will be ten years, and it feels like it's gone by in the blink of an eye.


Blaine has a show on Saturday. When Cooper first books it, Blaine begs him to cancel it - tells him that he won't be able to do it, that he won't be able to perform, knowing they only have one week left - but Cooper refuses. In the end, he tells Blaine that he wants to see him perform, wants to watch him sing, once more before he's gone. And God that conversation ends in ugly tears and Blaine begging Anna to find some way to save him. She doesn't, however. They all promised, when Cooper only had a year left, that they'd stop looking. That they'd accept it.

So Blaine plays his show on Saturday. He plays his show on Saturday, and he calls Cooper up on stage for his last song. Cooper shakes his head at first, but Blaine insists, even getting the crowd to chant his name a little. "You know the song, Coop," Blaine says, smiling, "I know you do. Come on. Sing with me." And Cooper would be lying if he said he'd ever been able to resist those puppy eyes.

So he walks onto the stage and Blaine starts the song and Cooper heart swells. "You're singing the girl part," Blaine says softly in his ear, just out of reach of the microphone. Cooper goes to say something sarcastic in response, along the lines of 'what are you trying to say about me?' but doesn't, because then Blaine is starting to sing. And Cooper is always in awe at his voice.

"I hope these days go on forever,
And I'm always right by your side,
You're all I want to know
For the rest of my life.

I can't help what time is done,
And how long I had to wait
Now I found your hand in mine
I hope I didn't come too late
There's no beauty like your face in the morning light."

And before he knows it, the chorus is kicking in and Cooper is singing too, his voice blending with Blaine's.

"And all my life I have been so scared
And I never knew I never wanted you there
I've been broke, been bust, been snared
So love lost and under prepared, baby
But now that I found you, now that I've got you
I've got everything, my dear

You mean everything to me, my dear."

And Cooper doesn't care if people at the venue are staring, if the song is too intimate, or if his gaze is lingering on Blaine for too long, because he can't keep his eyes off of his brother as he sings along with the most honest lyrics he's ever sang in his entire life.

Before he knows it the song is over, fading out with Blaine's guitar, and it's quiet for a long moment before the audience bursts into applause and Blaine is smiling and thanking them.


"I love you," Cooper breaths against Blaine's neck that night when they're in bed. "I don't think I could ever begin to explain to you how much I love you."

"You don't have to," Blaine whispers back, leaning up to kiss him, "I know."

They spend that entire night up, talking, kissing, and being together. And if Cooper could physically stay up for an entire week straight, he'd do it, just so he doesn't have to miss a moment of Blaine.


As much as they don't want to sort out the details - the specifics - Cooper and Blaine, with Anna's help, nail down Cooper's last details toward the end of his week. He's got three days left, and he's gripping Blaine's hand tight under the table as they figure out exactly what Blaine is going to say to their parents.

"I can't tell them," Blaine finally says, after almost an hour of discussing it. They've talked about it before, at the beginning of the year, about what Blaine would say to their mom and dad.

But three days before, Blaine backs out.

"I'm not telling them," He repeats, after it's been silent for a long moment, "I'll tell them you're on a trip or something. I just... I can't tell them. I can't." And Blaine expects arguing. He expects Cooper to tell him that it's something he has to do, but instead, Cooper just hugs him, muttering out something along the lines of 'You don't have to. It's okay.'


Cooper writes letters for both Blaine and Anna two days before his time is up. He pulls them out of his pocket that night and hands them to her. Blaine is asleep next to him on the couch and Cooper is stroking his hair softly with his free hand, trying not to wake him. "You don't have to read it now," Cooper says softly, looking down at Blaine, "But give his to him after I'm gone, okay?"

She nods sadly, "Okay."

"Take good care of him, Anna."

And then her hand is on Cooper's and she's smiling this sad smile, "You know I will." And he smiles back in return, trying not to get choked up. Trying to stay strong.

"So it's at midnight?" Cooper asks, breaking the awkward silence.

"Yeah," She replies, "Or it was for me."

He nods, "It's going to hurt."

It's not a question, but Anna replies. "Yeah. A lot."

"You're going to need to gag me. Or something. The last thing I want is for the cops to show up. I can't leave Blaine to deal with that."

She nods, "I know."

"And you will be there for him, right?" He asks, looking down at him.

"Of course," Anna replies, smiling fondly, "I wouldn't dream of leaving him alone."

At that, Cooper smiles softly back, "Thank you, Anna. For everything."


"It's okay, Blaine," Cooper murmurs two days later, kissing at his brothers lips between wiping his tears away, "It's okay, you'll be okay."

"Coop, I can't," Blaine whimpers, hands gripping onto the back of his shirt for dear life.

Cooper just rubs his back in response, taking a moment to glance at the clock when Blaine buries his head into his shoulder. He's got about an hour left. "Shhh..." He coos, "You're alright. You're strong, and you're brave, and you'll be alright, Blaine. I know you will."

"You can't go," Blaine sobs into his shirt, "You can't. I can't live without you."

"Yes you can," Cooper replies softly, "And you will, okay?" At that, he grabs Blaine by the shoulders and pulls away so he can look at him. He wipes away at fresh tears on his brother's face with his thumbs before pressing another wet kiss on his lips. "You need to do this. For me, okay?"

Blaine nods, even though his eyes are shut and more tears are spilling down his face again. "I - I love you," He chokes out.

"I love you too," Cooper responds, leaning forward to press their foreheads together, "More than you could ever imagine."

"Coop..." Blaine sobs, and then he's clutching at his brother's shirt again.

"Be happy," Cooper replies, though he can feel tears pricking at his own eyes now, "For me. Live a good life, okay? You've got so much talent, Blaine. Don't waste it, just because I'm gone."

"I won't," Blaine chokes out, "I promise."

It's quiet between them then. Cooper can hear the seconds ticking by on the clock as he holds Blaine close, and he glances over his shoulder at Anna, who is wiping her own tears off of her face. He shoots a reassuring smile her way, and she returns it. And then it's silent.

It's silent as the clock reaches ten till midnight, and it's silent, save for Blaine's quiet crying, when Cooper hears the first howl.

He shoots Anna a look, and by the expression on her face, she heard it too. Blaine however, keeps clutching at Cooper.

By 11:55, they're closer. It sounds like they're circling the house, growling and barking. Hungry. Cooper gulps and presses a kiss to Blaine's temple.

11:58, and he can hear scratching at the door.

"B," He says softly, pulling away slightly to look at his brother, "It's time."

Anna rummages for something in the kitchen, most likely the bandanna that Cooper had hoped would suffice as a gag.

"No," Blaine sobs, still holding tight onto Cooper's shirt like a small child with their mother, "No, no, no. Cooper..."

"Shhh..." Cooper soothes, littering kisses over Blaine's lips. "I love you," He says, holding Blaine's face between his face, "With all my heart, I love you."

"I love you, Coop," Blaine manages to reply between sharp, panicked breaths.

"It's time," Anna says softly, reluctant to break the two of them apart. But Cooper nods, standing. Blaine grips his hand and stands as well, fingers lacing together.

"I'll see you again," Cooper says softly to Blaine, before placing a kiss on his forehead, and then Anna is tying the bandanna around his mouth.

Midnight hits, and the front door flys open.


It takes a week for Blaine to muster the courage to read Cooper's letter. In between crying and passing out and Anna trying to force him to eat, he stares at the envelope on his dresser, but he doesn't read it. Not right away. He can't. He can't because once he does, it makes things real. It makes them permanent. Cooper is really gone.

Finally, though, a week goes by – a week of sobbing and feeling like death and burying his brother despite Anna saying she could do it on her own – and he opens the envelope with trembling hands.

"Blaine,

I know this is hard for you. It's hard for me too.

All I've ever wanted is the best for you. All I've ever wanted is for you to live a full and happy life. And you can do that, now. I don't want you to feel guilty knowing that I did this for you. I did it because I love you, and because you deserve the world.

Above everything else, I'm grateful that I got to spend the past five years loving you like I've always wanted to. You're all I've ever wanted. You're the best brother, and the best lover, I could ever ask for.

I know it's going to be hard for you, and for that, I'm sorry. I wish I knew how to make it easier.

Anna will be there, though. In fact, she's probably sitting outside of your room as you read this to make sure that you're alright. I know you didn't always trust her, but she's there for you. If you need anything, you go to her, okay?

There's some money in the top drawer of my dresser. It's everything I've been saving up. Use it. Quit your job, and use it. Go travel. Go do all of the things you always wanted to do. Live your life. For me.

Be happy for the time that we had together.

I will see you again, little brother. I promise.

'I will not say do not weep, for not all tears are evil.'
- I figured a Tolkein quote would cheer you up.

In fact, go watch Lord of the Rings. Those movies always cheer you up.

I love you Blaine, with all of my heart.

-Cooper"


The chapter title and the song Cooper and Blaine sing in this chapter is "Now That I've Found You" by Paul McDonald (feat. Nikki Reed)

Also, This isn't the end! There's still two more chapters, promise!