A/N: Sorry about the delay... Just got back from a week-long family vacation and was immediately slammed by multiple projects at work. Long story short... let's just say I'm glad we are back to the story. I received some really great comments after posting the previous chapter. Some questions were about the two different realities. What is real and what is not? It may be easy to answer as an objective outside observer. But as the individuals living the experience, there can only be one reality, which makes everything else a frustrating mystery. Isn't that what life is like: we all live in it every day, wondering what could have happened if we could go back in time and make one slightest change to the past, or if we are living in an alternative reality that "could have been" completely different? =)
Luna de Papel... you are an amazing beta, whose questions always make me think beyond the next chapter (and so much more!) And also, without you, Mr. Krum in my story would have sounded more like a Yankee than an honorable Bulgarian warrior!
Disclaimer: Not Mine.
Chapter Seven – Trapped, with a Glimpse of Hope
Severus had never paid so much attention to a student outside of class; and he wished he could blame this pathetic behavior entirely on the target of his observation, Hermione Granger.
In the past two weeks, he found his attention drawn to the girl far more often than appropriate. He caught himself watching her in the Great Hall, in the corridors, in the castle grounds, and even from afar when he spotted her at Hogsmeade over the weekend when she was there with her friends. Severus had a difficult time believing a simple schoolgirl could suddenly turn into such an intriguing puzzle to him. He lost many nights of sleep thinking about her strange words, and wondering what other misery her mysterious experience was about to bring him.
Severus' agony started shortly after the fourth-year Gryffindor recounted her bizarre dreams. If her words in the Headmaster's office alarmed Severus, her explanation about their "friendship" in his own office the following morning infuriated the Potions Master. Friends? With the Gryffindor know-it-all? He wished he could happily accuse the girl of making it all up in her head. Unfortunately, however, he couldn't bring himself to lie about it: for only he knew that what she said about his past was, indeed, true.
Yet the mysterious source of the girl's story was only the beginning of Severus' headache.
He watched the dark mark on his forearm become more prominent every day. Moody had definitely suspected something. Severus complained bitterly to the Headmaster about the unappreciated raids that the newly appointed DADA teacher imposed on his private stores, pointing out that Mad-Eye had gotten the wrong target. Dumbledore only nodded and listened, but did nothing. Severus could only sneer at the former Auror, knowing there was nothing else he could do to express his displeasure. To Severus' further annoyance, Karkaroff was clearly losing his cool, and wishing he could find a sympathizer in Hogwarts' Potions Master. Severus knew he could only pretend for so long before he would be forced to agree with the spineless former Death Eater. The truth was clear: the Dark Lord was on his way, and another war was inevitable.
The elevated stress level from the upcoming turmoil gave Severus even more reasons to contemplate Granger's strange words. If Dumbledore was right, if she indeed foresaw the outcome of the second wizarding war, if it was true that he himself was to make a significant contribution, Severus needed more information. How would the war play out? How would his role fit in? And what, exactly, would he need to do?
He tried getting the answers from her through his usual way of communicating with a student: his interrogating style of questioning.
"Miss Granger, I need more details about your so-called dreams." He asked the young witch to stay after class one day. "You must realize it is very important not to withhold any useful information that may help potentially prevent endangerment to the school and our world." His voice was stern and cold.
"Certainly, Professor. Where should we start?" She gave him a small and uneasy smile. "I would be more than happy to help. But I can't recall much about the events happening in this time period. My son on the other hand, loves reading the adventure stories of Harry Potter…" she frowned as her thoughts trailed off to the past, or rather, a distant future.
"I have no interest in your son." He spat.
Her frown deepened as she looked back up at him. He saw tears glistening in her soft brown eyes.
"I miss him so much." She said quietly, before looking down and wiped away her silent tears.
Severus rolled his eyes impatiently before glaring at the girl. "I didn't ask you to stay after class to cry about a child that is obviously not in existence. We have more important…"
"How can you say that?" She cut him off, which surprised him greatly - there had never been another student who dared challenge him directly like that, not even the Potter brat. She didn't shy away from his piercing glare, either. "How can you say he's not real!" Pain was clearly evident in her voice. "You are the only one who doesn't think I'm crazy. That's why I thought we could talk! And besides, you were there! You cared about him! How could you..." Choking on her words, she closed her eyes and shook her head. Slowly she turned away and walked towards the door. "I don't think I can help you, Professor. I don't remember much. And you are…" she let out a soft sigh before looking back at him sadly, "so very different."
She disappeared through the classroom door before he could react to her comments, leaving him standing alone in his classroom, furious. How dare she leave without being properly dismissed by her professor! On the other hand however, her tone shook him to the core. Hermione Granger didn't talk to Severus Snape like a student, but rather, like someone who had known him for a long time. She sounded like she not only trusted him, but also, apparently, was trying to hold on to a connection that he didn't even know had existed between them. Somehow, as if bewitched, Severus couldn't help but allow the sadness in her eyes burn into his mind, haunting him every time he closed his eyes.
To his own disappointment, Severus couldn't bring himself to lash out at the girl again. Instead, he drowned his fury with half a bottle of firewhiskey by his fireplace later that night.
The following morning marked the day when he started obsessively watching the young witch. Glaring at the girl from a distance, Severus wished he could find all his answers by keeping her under the closest surveillance.
What he saw in her soon changed everything.
The more time he spent watching her, the less sure Severus was about his opinion of his student. She did not fit in the usual young Gryffindor stereotype. She was never arrogant or reckless. She didn't seem to be interested in showing off her extraordinary intelligence, although she was always ready for a fair debate, and would always win her case through a logical argument. She behaved in a more mature way than all of the other rowdy teenage peers around her. She was far too quiet among the chatty girls. When the other young witches were gossiping about the hottest wizard on Durmstrang's boat, Hermione Granger was the one who sat in a corner knitting hideous hats for the house-elves. Severus overheard the young witch's creation of an organization to watch over house-elves' rights. He rolled his eyes about her seemingly pointless effort, but took note of the gesture behind her kind actions. She would never treat anyone unkindly just because everyone else thought she should. Perhaps - it suddenly occurred to Severus one day - it was not that farfetched to see Granger offering her friendship to someone who had never done anything nice to her, someone like himself.
And then there was her mothering behavior, which bothered Severus the most. He was sure that Potter, Weasley and even Longbottom could cost all of the points in Gryffindor's hour glass in one day alone were it not for Miss Granger, who was always there to reign them in before their recklessness could get them in serious trouble.
Others around her also seemed to have noticed her disconnection with her peers. Except for the few closest to her, many students couldn't refrain from making unfriendly comments on a regular basis. Yet the very composed Miss Granger would only laugh it off. She was so forgiving. Severus pressed his lips tight together as he wondered: could she really be older than she seemed as she informed him in the Headmaster's office?
Years of practice had made Severus a master of concealment. No one had noticed his secret observation, except for the only time that proved even a master could suffer a mishap.
It happened one morning at breakfast in the Great Hall. Scanning through the room, Severus quickly found the witch he was looking for. She was listening to the chattering from the Weasley girl across the Gryffindor breakfast table, while picking at the food in her plate. He had noticed the change in Miss Granger since he first started paying attention to her. She had not been eating much, and seemed to be easily upset by things that did not seem remarkable to anyone else. On this particular morning, Severus noticed she had become unusually quiet after a first year boy ran by her side, carelessly bumped into her shoulders with his book bag. The boy apologized immediately. But Granger seemed to be taken aback by something in the boy in front of her. Severus could almost swear that he saw her secretly wiping her face after the boy hurried away. Was she crying?
And that was the moment when she suddenly turned his way and caught his glance. It was too late to look away without appearing to be watching her secretly. So instead of looking away, Severus narrowed his eyes at her, pretending he just caught sight of her. The young witch didn't look away when her eyes met his cold dark ones. She frowned slightly first, as if surprised by his attention. And then to his utter surprise, she smiled at him.
It was a warm and sincere smile, but not without a hint of sadness. It was a gesture one would only offer a friend, a friend who was capable of reading into the nonverbal communication. It was kind, understanding, and in a way, pleading. Was she expecting something from him? Severus was more confused than ever.
Christmas should have been canceled if anyone would consider Severus's opinion. If the war was near, if an unknown danger was looming, what good would it do to teach the dunderheads how to dance? It would have been much more sensible to encourage dueling club practice than preparing them for the Yule Ball.
But of course, the Headmaster thought otherwise.
Much to his annoyance, the Potions Master was forced to put on his dress robes and attend an event jam-packed with hormonal teenagers.
"Hurry to the hall, please. We are about to begin!" Minerva was ushering the students towards the Great Hall when Severus made his way up the corridors from the dungeons. "Oh Severus," the older witch greeted her colleague pleasantly, "you are looking quite sharp tonight!"
"Really?" He snarled. "I assume it's the color that made the difference?"
Minerva rolled her eyes and let out a chuckle. "Everything but the color! But what can I say? Black suits you well." Smiling warmly at the wizard the Deputy Headmistress asked, "do you still remember what you learned from my dance class when you were their age?" She turned and smiled at the students quickly before returning her attention back to the Potions Master. "Would you like to show me how much you still remember?"
"Absolutely not." Severus drawled. "Leave me alone Minerva. Make Albus do it. Even at his old age he's always looking for an excuse to enjoy some glamour."
"But I still remember, Severus." The older witch called after the wizard as he walked away towards the Hall. "You were quite good with waltz."
He didn't bother looking back at the witch with a response as he walked straight into the grand hall.
Even though he hated gatherings, Severus had to admit the old Headmaster knew how to throw a party. Besides the loud music and the noisy students, the party was almost tolerable.
It was not until the four champions walked in the Hall to start the dance party when Severus caught sight of the girl. And he couldn't help but raise his brows at the view.
Miss Granger definitely looked more grown up in her party dress than her school uniform. She had chosen an hourglass shaped full-length gown with cascading layers of fabric ranging from light pink to lavender. Her hair, neatly pulled up into a classy bun, almost made her look unrecognizable. From a distance, even Severus could not avoid thinking that she looked like a spring flower ready to bloom.
He watched the young witch dance gracefully with the Durmstrang celebrity. Viktor Krum was obviously proud of his date. The foreign wizard couldn't help looking smug, as if he had just won the entire tournament. Who could blame him? The young girl in his arms was arguably more attractive than any of the half-veelas flown in from Beauxbatons.
To Severus' amazement however, Miss Granger didn't seem so impressed by the attention she was receiving. She was polite by Krum's side, and smiled at the bystanders from time to time. But even Severus could tell, she was not having a good time. When the music came to a stop, the Potions Master noticed the girl quietly slipped out of the Hall and head towards the castle entrance. He narrowed his eyes and decided to follow. Perhaps the young witch had much naughtier plans with her date.
As he made his way into the garden, Severus conveniently disrupted several smooching teenagers. He felt quite satisfied after taking forty points from Gryffindor, thirty from Hufflepuff and fifteen from Ravenclaw. He smiled inwardly as he watched Miss Parkinson and Mr. Malfoy dart into the darkness. If he didn't catch them, he was not going to embarrass his own house.
But he wouldn't let his target get too far away. Severus maintained a reasonably short distance from Miss Granger, wondering what she had in mind. Before long he seemed to have found the answers, when the shadow of a young wizard darted after the girl.
The young Durmstrang champion was nimble. As soon as he noticed the disappearance of his date, he quickly followed her out of the castle towards the Black Lake.
Severus couldn't understand why he was angry when he saw the young wizard caught up with the young witch. They were not doing anything inappropriate, unless you considered walking side by side while exchanging small talk an unacceptable act. Severus decided to follow them. And he promised himself if they did anything out of line, no matter how minor, he would be right there to take fifty points from Gryffindor House and prepare himself for a severe confrontation with Karkaroff for not keeping an eye on his students.
The two teenagers stopped by the bank of the lake, quite far away from the castle. Hiding behind a thick shrub, Severus could hear every word of their conversation.
"Vhy vouldn't you believe me vhen I say you are beautiful?" The wizard's question came with a slightly awkward accent.
"No, Viktor." The girl turned away to face the lake. "It's not that I don't believe you. I appreciate... what you said and I... er... thank you."
"Then vhy are you running away?"
Running away? Severus was confused. The girl didn't plan this "moonlit stroll" ahead of time and was running away?
"The music was giving me a headache. I think I'll go to bed soon."
Ah... that's her excuse. Severus sneered at the back of the two figures.
"Vould you like to come to my room?" There was an unmistakable excitement in the young wizard's voice. Severus was ready to send a warning spell from his wand and jump out from behind the shrub. "Haff I told you...? I haff my own room on our boat. It's quite comfortable. I'm sure you haff never been to a place like that."
"Oh no, Viktor, you misunderstood." She shook her head feverishly. "I didn't mean that. I... I just want to be alone."
"Vell," the young wizard was quite accommodating. "Alone here in the darkness sounds pretty good." He moved closer to the girl and wrapped his arms around her from behind.
"What are you doing?" Her voice startled both the wizard trying to hold her and the one behind the shrub. "No, Viktor. I... I... I must apologize. I agreed to come to the Ball with you, but I forgot to make it clear to you that I would only come as your friend."
"Friend?" The boy took a step back and asked in confusion. "People don't just ask any friend to go to the Yule Ball. You haff to... feel... something... too... Don't you like me?"
"Well..." She hesitated, "I like you like a friend, Viktor."
"But most girls don't just like me as a friend, Herm-own-ninny." The young wizard paused with a slight hesitation. "I thought you vould vant to be more than friends. I vasn't going to do anything. I vas just going to hug you and maybe... giff you a kiss."
"But that's exactly what I don't want." Hermione took a few steps away from the boy.
"I don't understand..." Viktor scratched his head. "Did I do anything wrong?"
"No, you didn't." She quickly assured him. "You didn't do anything wrong. You've been a gentleman and a good friend. But you are just not... my type."
"Not your type?" Viktor was beyond surprised. The young celebrity was obviously not used to being refused by a girl. "Vhy not?" He pressed on.
"You are... er..." She stammered on her words. "You are... too young."
"Too young?" He raised his voice in surprise. "Vait... Vhat... How... But I'm eighteen! And you are only fourteen!"
"Fifteen."
"Alright, fifteen. I am still three years older than you! That's plenty old. How can you say I'm too young?"
"It's complicated." She answered apologetically. "I'm sorry Viktor. But I... can't."
"You are very strange." The young wizard let out a frustrated grunt. After a long moment he asked, "are you breaking up with me? Are we still friends?"
"There isn't anything to break up, Viktor." She answered calmly, "because we were never together. And of course, I have nothing against you. We can always be friends."
That was unexpected. The Potions Master arched a brow as he observed the Durmstrang champion slowly make his way towards the castle, looking completely defeated.
Severus watched in silence as Miss Granger took a few steps closer to the lake and sat down by the water. She rested her chin on her knees and let out a deep sigh. Not knowing what was driving him, Severus decided he would try one more time to talk to the young witch.
As he walked around the shrub and made his way towards the girl, he purposely made his footsteps heard, so that he wouldn't startle her when he was near. A cool breeze picked the exact time and pushed the thin clouds veiling the moon into the darkness, instantly lightened the grounds with a silver glow.
He watched her slowly look up towards him, and her brows furrowed when she recognized who was approaching her.
Looking back towards the water the girl asked in a quiet voice, "what did I do now, Professor? How many points am I going to lose?"
He frowned at her question but did not answer. Quietly he sat down on a large rock by the water in a short distance from her. A long moment later he asked, "too young? Was that the best excuse you could come up with?"
Her eyes shot up at him in surprise. He looked at her impassively as she opened and closed her mouth several times. Finally, she found her voice and said, "you were watching us!"
He ignored her accusation and let out a grunt. "What made you think it was a good idea to venture so close to the forest at night with a foreign wizard?" When he didn't hear her retort he went on, "I would expect you to do a better job being discreet about your so-called dreams next time. It was a poor excuse to use when you were trying to turn down a young man's offer."
"Are you done lecturing?" She asked with a sigh. Her voice was plain, but the disappointment in her tone was clear.
It took Severus another long moment to make up his mind, before he finally voiced his curiosity. "Just exactly how old were you before you woke up in this world?"
He kept his eyes locked in the distance when he felt her staring at him intensely. She was likely surprised by his change in tone; and he was not interested in explaining why.
"I just turned thirty." She answered quietly. When she didn't hear him speaking she went on. "It just feels so strange. I'm trapped in this fifteen-year-old girl's body but am thinking like a thirty-year-old. No one can understand me. Now I understand what it must be like to be Claudia."
"Claudia?" Severus was confused.
"Oh it's just a fictional character from a muggle novel." She shook her head slightly and let out a sigh. "It's just so hard to realize that I may never be able to see my baby again. Like you said, he is, obviously, nonexistent."
He considered his words carefully before replying in his smooth velvet voice. "You're not a vampire, Miss Granger. You are not forever stuck in this state."
Her eyes widened as she took in his reply. "You've read the novel, too?"
He shrugged. "It's a well-known fact that fictional literature is always lacking in the wizarding world. Forget about that meaningless reference. You have nothing in common with that Claudia, Miss Granger. Consider this a second chance, and make the best of it. Many others would never be as fortunate as you are." Without waiting for a reply he got up from the rock and began to make his way back towards the castle.
"You couldn't help it." Her words stopped him.
Turning quickly around to face her, he narrowed his eyes and asked, "what do you mean?"
"You tried all you could do to protect them, the Potters." She lowered her voice. Watching him slowly walking back towards her she continued, "I want to tell you that you shouldn't be so hard on yourself."
"You read about that, didn't you?" He asked darkly.
"Some of it," she answered. "I read about some of your past in this, well, dream of mine. But I also learned a lot more about you from," she hesitated, "talking to the other you."
"What else can you remember?" He asked.
"Not much now." She sighed. "It feels as if all of it happened in a dream, and the things I learned have been slowly fading. But I promise I will come to see you if I can remember anything else."
"Good," was his simple reply.
She watched the tall wizard once again left her towards the castle. "Severus," she called after him. He stopped immediately when he heard his given name being uttered by a student. Instead of turning to face the young witch and announcing a detention, Severus rooted to the ground and didn't look back.
Taking a deep breath the young witch said, "other than the son I keep seeing in those first-year boys, I also miss my friend. I miss him so terribly. It's really hard to see him every day, but have to keep reminding myself that he, I mean you, are so different from the man I know."
"It's not easy for me to justify that the Gryffindor know-it-all should address me in such an informal way, either," he said without looking back at her. "Go to bed, Miss Granger. And remember your promise."
When he was a few steps away from her, he heard her calling after him. "Don't drink so much firewhiskey. It's not good for your liver."
He only slowed down slightly at her advice. To his own amusement, he didn't turn around and tell her to mind her own business. Instead, he frowned at a distant star, wondering if the tingling sensation he felt in his heart was the equivalent of a comforting thought knowing someone actually cared about him.
It had been too long since the last time someone felt concerned about his well-being; and Severus couldn't say he didn't like it.
TBC
The war is upon us. What would Hermione do? And how would Severus react? We will see in the next chapter.
