Catholic School Girl
Chapter 7: Parts & Pronouns
He felt a buzzing in his pocket while he was talking to Finn. When he looked down at his phone, he saw the following text message.
Cast list posted. Meet me by the auditorium?
He grinned as the replied, Be there in 5.
"Those girls really can't get enough of you, can they?" said Finn.
Puck hadn't told him about hanging out with Tina. Who he had told was Artie, Sam, and Mike while they were all hanging out in Sam's basement, jamming and playing Xbox on Sunday. They all seemed pretty cool with it, but made it clear that Puck better not dick around with Tina's feelings. He wanted to resent the implication, or be annoyed by the fact that these guys who barely knew him were trying to tell him what to do, but he kind of understood where they were coming from. It wasn't him, It was any guy who could hurt their friend. If she were his friend, he'd be the same way.
She was his friend now, though. Or she was close to being. Just because he had thought about her naked, doing ungodly things to him, didn't change that he wanted that. It was why he had tried really hard not to be a complete dick to her on Friday night. And part of the reason he hadn't told Finn and the others.
He knew what they were going to say. Especially Azimio. Puck knew that he would turn on him the fastest, though he wasn't really sure why. If anything, Puck being off the market meant more for the others. But they hadn't seen the play thing that way without him explaining it first, so he knew the reaction to Tina wasn't going to be great.
The play was going to be a great cover for hanging out with her so much. Eventually, though, he knew he was going to have to man up and face what the guys, and probably a lot of other people, would say. He wasn't ready for that yet. He wanted to enjoy the two of them, if there was going to be the two of them, for awhile before the drama started.
"Guess not. But I gotta go man. Find out if I'm in the play today." He clapped his friends shoulder as he passed, "And you know what that means." He added a wink, just to assure that Finn at least had some clue.
He began to jog across the lawn, but slowed midway. He was didn't want to seem too eager, even if he was.
Do not grin like a moron when you see her. The whole clueless dolt thing only works for Finn.
She was standing by the front doors a smile on her face as she saw him approaching, and he realized she had been waiting for him.
"Hi," she said, the shy sound of that one word causing him to falter and reveal the exact grin he had been trying to avoid seconds before.
"So, have you looked?" he asked.
"No. I kind of wanted to do it together."
He just nodded, following her towards the auditorium. There was a crowd of girls, some looking quite happy, others not so much. He knew what rejection looked like, and some of them were wearing the sting of it openly. He felt a twinge. Could he stand seeing her look that disappointed? The thought caused him to stand back, and look away, as Tina made her way to the white paper stapled to the bulletin board.
The crowd began to clear, and the hallway grew uncomfortably quiet as she continued to stand, staring.
He hadn't anticipated her having no reaction, but had a feeling that it wasn't a good sign. He strode up behind her, reading the list over the top of her head.
He saw his name at the top. Then he saw hers…under someone else's.
A fucking understudy…what the…
"You got the male lead," she finally said, her words practically strangled by irritation. "Congrats." She shoved passed him, the heels of her shoes clacking fiercely in an angry stomp down the hall.
His eyes followed her before his brain could register a countermeasure. When it did, he practically chased her down, grabbing her. "Tina…hey, wait.."
She spun, snatching her arm away from him hard enough to cause a whoosh between them. "Leave me alone."
"Look, it sucks that you didn't get the lead. It's stupid, because you sing better than anyone. You're the best the school has."
He knew it was a mistake as soon as he said it, and he saw her face start to scorch a shade of pissed off he only ever saw in his mother. "You kn-know what sucks? It sucks that you got a role p-period. This p-play doesn't mean anything to you. The only reason you p-probably t-tried out was some ass from the drama girls. So you got up there, and you seduced them with that song. I can't believe I fell for it too. Fell for your act."
"Whoa! I know you're upset. But this isn't my fault. And I didn't try-out because of sex. I can get plenty of that without a stupid play!" he shot back, again regretting it.
"Oh, shut up, P-puck! You're just a jerk. Have fun making out with Mary Anne Atwood, though I'm sure you've probably d-done that before anyway!" She started to stalk off again.
He wanted to say he hadn't, just to prove her wrong, but he couldn't say it honestly. The name sounded familiar but he couldn't put it to a face. If he could, he had the sinking suspicion Tina was right. Still, she had no right to make him feel bad about it and he stood there, wondering if this was always how it was going to be. If she was always going to throw these things up in his face.
She'd actually have to ever talk to you again to do that.
Despite his pride hurting at the thought of it, and the fact that if this were one of his friends, he'd have asked if they'd left their sack at home for letting some girl yank them around like this, he followed her out of the building and onto the lawn.
"Hey..HEY! Why don't you stop throwing a fucking tantrum and listen for just a second?" he yelled once he got within earshot of her.
If he was going to surrender what was left of his manhood, he was at least going to be the jerk she said he was about it.
It seemed to work, because she stopped, and turned.
There were pockets of people still standing around, or sitting at the picnic tables. He caught a glimpse of Sam and Mercedes hanging back, probably waiting to give Tina a ride home. Or to console her. Puck had seen Mercedes name on the cast sheet. She played the best friend to the lead, almost like the nuns wanted to twist the knife they stuck in Tina's chest.
He couldn't think about that, or them, now. He focused in on her, a nasty glare set across his face. And she stared back, not offering up a single word. She was going to make him draw blood first, so he would look like the ass when it was all said and done. At this point, he didn't really have a problem with that.
"You know, you're being really uncool right now. I was just trying to be, like, a friend or whatever. I didn't do any of this to you. So don't be all pissed at me because of it." He sucked in a breath. "And you're right. I don't care about the play. I never did. The only reason I tried out for it was you."
Her eyebrow kinked up. She looked skeptical, and surprised, all the same time.
"Yeah, I said it. I did this whole stupid thing because of you. What can I say? I kind of like you. And I like being around you."
She still said nothing, but her gaze was firmly locked on him. There was nothing to make out. She was just…looking at him. Really looking. He had never seen a girl look at him that way before. It reminded him of the way his sister looked when she sat on the living room floor, her Where's Waldo book open on the coffee table. She was going to search for something, and she would find him if she did it long enough.
"I am a jerk. You're right. I have done and said a lot of mean crap to girls. I haven't to you though. I mean, I did touch your leg a month ago, and..okay, I was just trying to get in your pants then. But that was the only time and now I know there's more to it than that."
The words seemed to hang in the air forever, before she finally said, "I have to go. My friends are waiting."
He was dumbfounded, and he knew it showed. "That's it, then? I spill my guts all over the lawn, like an asshole, and you have nothing? Fine, whatever. Walk away. No, wait. You always do that. Let me have a shot at it."
Tina laid in the middle of Mercedes' bed, staring at a dusty cobweb hanging from the light.
"Am I stupid for wanting to call him, or go to his house and tell him I like him too?"
No, I was stupid for not telling him on the lawn.
It was what she had wanted to do, but she had been surprised. And afraid. Afraid that it was all just a big game for him, like the play had been, but more afraid that he had meant it.
Mercedes looked up from her toenails, which she was painting in preparation for a family trip to warmer climates. "He'd be lucky if you did. He can't expect to just win you over with some cliché, impromptu declaration of feelings on the lawn. Life isn't a movie."
She was also afraid of this.
She knew Mercedes' heart was in the right place. It always was. And normally, she was honest to the point of being obnoxious. Now, though, Tina felt like she was being blown off because Mercedes was no fan of Puck's. It was worse than being judged for liking him. "Yeah, I guess."
Detecting obvious disappointment in Tina's tone, Mercedes she sat down the small bottle and pivoted herself to face her friend. "Look, I say what I say because I can't turn my head in the hallways without seeing a girl that he's played. But…you've spent time with him and only you know whether or not he is telling the truth."
Tina finally sat up, and gave Mercedes a solemn look. "Do you think that any guy would go through all the trouble of trying out for a p-play just to get laid?"
"Puck isn't any guy, and I don't think he would," she admitted.
Tina hadn't thought so either. She just wanted to hear Mercedes say it since she trusted her friend more than herself in general, but especially when it came to Puck. "Do you think that he meant what he said? That he really likes me?"
Mercedes smiled, taking Tina's hand in hers, giving it a tight squeeze. "I've told you this before. You'd be the best thing that ever happened to him. He'd be stupid not to like you."
Tina sat quietly for a few minutes, not letting go of Mercedes hand, before saying, "Can you give me a ride?"
Puck's mom, a short, dark-haired woman who looked like she needed a nice, long vacation, answered the door. She looked at Tina as if she recognized her, which made her scrutinizing face seem like it softened.
"Is N-noah here?" Tina asked, unsure. Calling him by his first name felt odd to her, but she figured his mother wouldn't appreciate anything else.
"Yes, come in," she said as she pointed to the living room, where Puck was slouching on the sofa. He had a TV table in front of him, his plate still half full. When she looked around, she noticed a similar table sitting to the side of a recliner.
"Oh," she said, alerting him to her presence. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt dinner."
" Don't worry. We were almost done anyway," said Mrs. Puckerman. She emphasized her point by clearing her own plate and heading up the stairs.
Puck, however, took his time coming around the couch to stand in front of her with a scowl on his face. "What's up?" was his nonchalant greeting to her.
She inhaled deeply, planning to get it all out without stopping. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been so awful to you about something that wasn't your fault. And I like you too…I haven't really wanted to, but I d-do. I even had a weird d-daydream about kissing you in my religion class."
Why did I tell him that?
It wasn't a complete loss. When her face started to flush from the admission, a grin spread across Puck's. "When was that?" he asked.
"The d-day that you chased Maureen off in the parking lot. She was actually making fun of me because my teacher called me out for not paying attention." She wasn't about to reveal the rest of it.
He chuckled, which caused her to relax. "So in this daydream…best kiss of your life, right."
She wanted to say no, just to tease him, but she couldn't. Especially since he had inched a little closer to her, the toe of his sneaker brushing against hers. It would lead to something more than she was prepared for. "I can't stay," she said. "Mercedes is waiting outside for me."
"I can give you a ride home," he offered, his voice almost too suggestive.
"Thanks, but my parents would freak if they saw a boy they didn't know dropping me off." His bottom lip curled into a pout – the most sexy thing she'd probably ever seen in her life. "But call me later?"
His expression showed no signs of perking up, but he muttered a reluctant, "Sure."
"I know it's not what you're use to but…we have to go slow. If you can't d-do that…"
"Oh, I can do it. But do I have to like it?"
"No. You just have to like me and d-deal with it."
He said nothing, but the way he was looking down at her – the happiness she saw teasing at the corners of his moth and his eyes, told her he would do just that. At least for awhile, anyway.
Hesitantly, she leaned forward, awkwardly wrapping her arms around his midsection and pulled herself close. He felt so solid, and so strong. When he finally responded, his seeming as uncertain as hers had, it hit her all at once. It was real.
We're a "we."
