Title: Fixation

Disclaimer: I do not own anything.

Rating: M to be safe

Summary: Season: 4 Episode: 8 After the Show references. Howard Delhomme is fixated on Catherine Willows and he will do what it takes to make sure she knows. ...Grillows...

Chapter 7


Howard watched cautiously as he pulled in the parking garage of National bank. He knew by now the police would be looking for Catherine and that meant they were looking for him.

"Howard!"

Edward approached the man that had taken his car and was now being hunted by the police. "This is it Howard this is that last time you do this to me."

"I lost track of time. I'm sorry." Howard spoke defending himself. "It won t happen again."

Edward nodded. "You're damn right it won't; you take my car for days at a time. You have the police banging on my door. What the hell have you done?"

"The police?" Howard cut him off. "The police came to you?" he looked around again; certain that Edward was setting him up. "Did they follow you here?" Howard asked pulling out a gun. "Are you setting me up?"

Edward raised his hands as if to surrender. "Howard?" He backed away from the man. "Calm down."

"I have to take your car again." Howard snapped, beads of sweat appearing on his forehead. "I won't let you help them take her from me."

Edward backed away from the gun that was now pointed at him. "I'm just here to get me car Howard, I..

Before Edward could finish a shot rang out and he fell to the ground.
Two cars down, a woman screamed as Howard rushed toward her, pushed her aside and jumped in to her car.

In the distance Brass was quick to get on his radio. "Howard is on the move, in a red four door Taurus. Do not approach, he is armed, follow him close but be discreet we need him to take us to CSI Willows."

Quickly and discreetly an unmarked truck was quick on Howard s tail as he sped through the streets of Las Vegas.


"What did you find?" Gil asked as Nick pulled papers from the backseat of Edward Stollers civic.

Nick looked up at the man. "Journal entries." he replied holding up a small journal.

"Five different entries all describing time spent with Julie Waters, and several other women. I sent the names to Sara, she is checking the missing persons data base to see if we get any hits on some of the names in his list." he paused as Gil watched him intently.

"And?" Gil spoke knowing he had something more;

"An entry dated two days ago." he handed Gil the book. "He talks about Catherine."

Gil took the book and read the log Howard had written the day he met Catherine in the interrogation room. "I can't stop thinking about her." Gil read aloud. "She has a beauty that can't be denied. There is just something so amazing in her. I see the way he looks at her" Gil assumed Howard was referring to him. "He is very protective, he is very in love. But it won t be a problem." Involuntarily Gil could feel his fist begin to clench, but he continued "I have to have her. I WILL have her."

Gil handled the book back to Nick so he could bag it. "Anything else? he asked

"Receipts;" Greg spoke from the front seat. "It seems Howard has had a few different rental properties in the past year. We are tracking down the owners of his two most recent to see if we can get some addresses. We can only assume these are places he may take his victims."

"We never assume anything." Gil retorted putting his hand to his head.

"Migraine;" Greg inquired

Gil sighed "It's nothing; She's been gone long enough. Let's just find her."

Greg nodded and pointed as Brass approached the three men.

"What happened?" Gil asked, taking note of the bothered look on his face.

"They lost him." Brass muttered "Son of a bitch!" he sneered turning as he walked away from Gil.

Gil sighed as he removed his glass and pinched the bridge of his nose.

They had lost Howard again, Howard was angry and he was on his way back to Catherine. Gil tried to push the thoughts of the violent things Catherine might be going through as he climbed in to his vehicle. He rested his head on the steering wheel and tried to focus on the pain of his migraine. Anything was better than thinking of what might happen to Catherine. The pain from the thought of never seeing her again was worse than any migraine he would ever have.


Catherine stood watching herself in the mirror. The thoughts she was having of never seeing her daughter again were making tears well in her eye. She looked down at the white dress that now covered her pale skin and cringed. She contemplated giving into him and making things easier for herself but she figured if she shared the same fate as Julie Waters, doing what Howard said wouldn't matter. And that fighting was her only chance of survival.

Catherine sighed as she smoothed out the dress, simultaneously Howard burst through the bedroom door.

"Let's go!" he snapped.

Catherine took note of his frazzled appearance. This looked like a man who was quickly running out of time.

"NOW!" he yelled at her as he grabbed her arm.

"Where are we going?" Catherine reluctantly allowed the man to pull her through the kitchen and toward the garage.

"Get in." he pushed her towards the open trunk.

Catherine shook her head. "Howard? Where are we going?"

"Get in!" he demanded again. "Now;"

Catherine looked at the contents of the plastic covered trunk and her body started to tremble. A shovel, duct tape, garbage bags;

Catherine looked back at Howard who was now pointing a gun at her.

"I said now!" he screeched, poking the gun into her shoulder. "Move!"

Catherine closed her eyes as the first tears began to fall. She was certain that getting in the trunk meant the end of her life.

With one last attempt she begged for Howard to understand. "Please just let me go." she whispered. "Please just let me go home to my daughter."

Howard didn't respond with words, instead he cocked his gun, hoping to let her know he meant business, but again she didn't make a move.

"Damn it!" Howard shouted dropping the duffle bag he had slung around his shoulder and grabbed Catherine by the arm. "I said move!"

Catherine's body tensed and she knew if she wanted to survive she had to act fast.
As Howard pushed her toward the open trunk; Catherine pushed back.

"No!" she screamed as she fought against him, as she gripped the nail file. "You don't have to do this!" she pushed back as Howard wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her off the ground.

Catherine kicked her feet against the truck to stop him from pushing her forward. "Howard, please!" she screamed as tears and the nail file fell. "Please don't!"

Howard had had enough and dropped her as her feet flew into the air once more. Catherine came crashing down on the concrete floor of the garage and instantly a searing pain of an injured tailbone shot through her body. Before she could even think about getting to her feet Howard was on her again.

"Stop;" She screamed again as Howard flipped her on to her stomach and pulled her arms behind her.

"You bitches always make it so hard." he sneered as he zip tied her hands in place.

Catherine continued to kick even though the pain was enough to pass out, if she wanted anything right now, it was to have him off of her.

Howard flipped her on her back, not caring about the pain he was putting on her, he held her up by her shirt and used the butt of his gun to subdue her.

Catherine could feel the warmth of her blood trickle as she hung her head in defeat. Howard pressed duct tape across her mouth and wrapped more around her head; he wasn't going to risk the tape coming off.

Catherine, through blurred vision from tears and dizziness watched him as he lifted her and dropped her into the trunk, the whole time praying silently to herself for a miracle.

"It's going to be okay." Howard smiled at her as he wiped the blood from his cheek. He hadn't realized it at the time but she had scratched him.

Catherine clamped her eyes shut as the tears continued, she didn't know what was worse; the pain she was experiencing or knowing that she was on her way to die.


Gil watched intently at the screen of his cell phone hoping it would ring with the news that Catherine had been found. Since he had discovered her missing he hadn't even attempted to sleep, but now as he sat at his desk, exhaustion was creeping up on him.

He closed his eyes for a second but all he could think about was what might be happening to the women he loved. He wondered for a second if he was ever going to see her again. He wondered if he would ever get the chance to tell her how he really felt, and was beating himself up inside for never having the courage. He hated the thought of never being able to tell her the truth.

"Cath;" he whispered to himself as he rubbed his hands on his face in attempts to wake himself up.
"Please be okay." he whispered. "Please be okay."

Gil sighed once more as his head began to nod and his eyes began to close.

"Grissom!"

His eyes were only closed for a second when his office door flew open and Brass appeared.

"They've spotted the stolen car, Howard is driving but there is no sign of Catherine."

Gil was out of his chair in seconds, and followed quickly behind Brass.

"He just pulled in to his garage. He must be desperate to be coming back to his house, especially since he knows we are on to him."

"What's the plan?" Gil asked as he pulled on a bullet proof vest. "We don't even know if Catherine is with him."

Brass nodded as he headed down the hall toward the parking lot. We're going to get her back Gil."

Gil nodded as he climbed in next to Brass. "Lindsay can't lose her mother."

Bass nodded

"I can't lose her either." he added

Brass nodded again but didn't respond as they sped out of the lot.


"We don't have much time." Howard spoke as he pulled an injured and stunned Catherine out of the trunk.

The pain Catherine was feeling was taking its toll on her and Catherine didn't have much fight left in her.

She took note of her surroundings and quickly realized she was back in Howard's home where it all had begun with his call to 911.

"It will all be over soon." he added laying her down on the living room floor.

Catherine sighed as she tried to ignore the numbness in her hands. She watched as Howard paced back and forth in the hallway in front of her and she wondered what his next move was going to be.

"Howard Delhomme."

Howard and Catherine were both pulled from the train of thought they were on, at the sound of the loud speaker outside.

Howard ran to his front window and peered through the curtain. Police cruisers lined the street in front of his home and several swat team members could be seen spread out across the boulevard.

"We have you surrounded." was the next thing he heard and from his spot in the window he could see that Brass was the voice on the mega phone.

"I can see your friend." Howard spoke as he pulled Catherine off of the floor. "He's out there."

Catherine knew he was speaking of Gil; but even if she wanted to respond she couldn't.

Howard pulled up from the floor and led her toward the couch. He knew she was in pain and he took it upon himself to help her sit down.

"Do you want something for the pain? He whispered, reaching for the duct tape.

Catherine winced as she shifted her body away from him.

"Let's talk about Grissom." He smiled." I know you can't talk, but just nod."

Catherine didn't move;

"You've know him a long time?"

Catherine nodded

"He's your friend?"

Again Catherine nodded.

"You're lover?"

Catherine shook her head

"Interesting." Howard whispered "Maybe that's just wishful thinking." he smiled "You mean a lot to him. I can tell by the way he looks at you " He paused as he reached for the ringing phone. "Hello. He spoke into the receiver the whole time keeping his gun and his eye on Catherine. He knew that it would be one of many officers outside waiting for him.

"They want to negotiate." He smiled at Catherine again. "I have only one request." He spoke."Mr. Grissom."


Grissom approached the door as Howard requested with his hands in the air. He knocked once and as he reached for the door knob, the door opened.

Before him stood Catherine; Duct tape still in place.

Gil's heart sank instantly as he took in her battered appearance. "Catherine.", he whispered stepping toward her.

"Just a minute there;" Howard pulled Catherine back and held his arm around her throat and the gun to her temple.

"Howard." Gil stepped slowly toward him as they backed into the living room. "She's been through enough. Please just let her go. Let her go home to her family."

Catherine's body trembled uncontrollably as Howard clutched her tighter. "To her family." he paused "And you?" he added "You're being selfish Mr. Grissom. I am aware that you want her for yourself."

"She's in pain." Gil continued ignoring him "Pain that you caused her. Her daughter needs her. Catherine is all she has."

"Is Catherine all that you have?" Howard asked "Is she all that you need?"

Gil didn't respond

"Tick tock Mr Grissom, your answers could save her."

"What do you want me to say?" he sighed lowering his hands "Do you want me to tell you she's important to me?" he paused "She is, she always has been and always will be. I don't have much in my life, but she's one of the few things I do have, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. If you want me to tell you I love her. Than that's what I'll do."

"I never wanted to hurt her." Howard sighed "I just wanted to be as important to her as she is to me."

Gil nodded "I understand." He sighed "I feel the same way. I wake up every day hoping that she'll see me in a different light. That maybe one day I'll be something more to her than just her boss, more than just her friend."

"She's special." Howard spoke kissing the back of her head. "She's so special. " He paused taking a minute as if he was thinking something over. "I didn't touch her. I wanted to, but I didn't touch her." He added, cocking his gun. " Before it's over. I wanted you to know."

"Howard wait!" Gil stepped forward as the first blast rang out. Catherine clenched her eyes waiting for the bullet to hit her. But it never came. She opened her eyes as she felt her body falling backward.

"Catherine." Gil was next to her in seconds, pushing Howards limp body away from her.

"Catherine." He spoke her name again as he pulled at the duct tape. "It's okay." He whispered. "Hold still, You're okay."

Catherine ignored his request and pushed herself into him. Gil wrapped his arms around the sobbing, shaking women as police officers and the other members of his team entered the room.

TBC