Sherlock: Which was it? *turns head facing John* Afghanistan or Iraq? *resume texting*
John: *gaping a bit, looks at Mike*
Mike: *smile knowingly, looks at door*
Molly: *pull door*
John: Afghanistan, sorry…
Director: CUT!
Sherlock: *looks at the door, exasperated* Push! Not pull!
Molly: *cease struggling with the door, looks embarrassed* Oh.
Sherlock: I play the violin when I'm thinking and sometimes I don't talk for days on end. *turns to John* Would that bother you? Potential flatmates should know the worst about each other. *forced big smile*
John: PFFTT! *bend over behind table, clutches abdomen*
Director: CUT! *rushes over to John* John! Is something wrong?
John: *wipe tears from eyes* No, no. Sorry, I just… *guffawed with laughter, cough, looks at Sherlock*
Sherlock: *raises an eyebrow, scowling*
John: Did you ever look at yourself when you pretend to smile? Oh god, that was so hilarious. *double over on the floor*
Sherlock: Smiling is one of the many gestures that let a stranger lowers their guard around you and this has been proven many times in my many experiments using various people in different situations. This is merely an application of that observation.
John: Yes. *heavy breathing* Yes, you are right, as always but did you ever check how you looked? *inhale deep breath, slowly exhale* You looked like you just ate the sourest fruit in the universe and had to convince others of how sweet it is. *reminisce, bend down over the table roaring with laughter*
Sherlock: *rolls eyes* You are exaggerating the situation, John. And we will start working on your vocabulary as soon as possible.
Crowd: *stares in silence*
John: *wipes tears in eyes, looks up at a corner with a CCTV camera pointing straight at the set* I want a copy of his face. I need a new background for my phone. *continue roaring with laughter*
Director: *sigh, walk off the set* Take five, people.
-in a cab in the way to 221B Baker Street-
Sherlock: *glares out the window, scowling*
John: *staring at mobile, talking while not taking eyes off the screen, fond smile on face* Oh come on, Sherlock. You're still sulking?
Sherlock: *whips head to John, narrows eyes* I don't sulk. I'm merely trying to deduce what you found so funny. Stop staring at your screen! *whips head to face outside, glares out the window, scowling*
John: *inhale, exhale, spare one last glance at screen, pockets the phone, looks at the back of Sherlock's head, serious face* I find you, trying so hard to force yourself to smile at strangers funny. It's so funny that you're forcing yourself to please someone when it's so obvious they can see the whole farce in just one glance. Instead of making them lower their guard around you, it has the opposite effect making them suspicious of your intentions.
Sherlock: *shoulders hunched*
John: *shakes head* For someone so brilliant, you could be so stupid sometime. *looks out the window on his side of the cab*
Sherlock: *tenses*
John: *distant look, fond smile* I've seen your smiles, Sherlock. Your real smiles. If you take a second to consider it, you'll realize that they are nothing less than amazing.
Sherlock: *sharp intake of breath, eyes wide, glances at John from the corner of his eyes, looks back outside the window, smile* John.
John: Hmm?
Sherlock: When we're home, get me the best photographs of cakes and cookies you can find.
John: *turns to Sherlock, looks confused* Hungry?
Sherlock: No. *calculating smirk* I need to send those tasty pictures to the government.
