Yay! I'm finally updating after like, three months! And just in time for FMA day, too! Even if just barely. But my lack of updating this is because my main focus had become DMDC during that time (if you haven't checked it out yet, could you go do so? Pretty please? You don't have to necessarily like it, but I would like to know what you thought of it... *cough*cough*review*cough*

Anyway, in response to the lovely reviews that people have given me:

SoulErrorArwitch: Yeah, so do I. It's such a dorky thing to do, and I just found it absolutely hilarious that he did that in the series, particularly because he was using it as a way to avoid thinking about the feelings he may or may not have had for a girl who was like, right there, which made it clear that said feelings obviously existed :) And yeah, it's so easy to forget that he's just a teenager with how badass he is, just as, with the way he's portrayed sometimes, it's so easy to forget that he is actually a freaking genius, and that he has a far better grasp of an extremely complex science than what most people could ever hope to obtain...

BTW you also happened to mention another OTP of mine (though EdWin is the one I'm super focused on right now).

Alheli: Lol I actually haven't seen fireflies before, either. I basically wrote based on the basic knowledge of fireflies that I already had and the song by Owl City. I can only imagine how seeing fireflies is really like, so it's a good thing I have a particularly good imagination :)

I'm glad you liked the chapter! Dreamlike was obviously what I was aiming for, so I'm glad that you think I pulled it off! And yeah, he is. But then again, Ed's absolute dorkiness is why we love him in the first place!

You're going to have to wait a little more to see your prompt on here, though. I have an idea as to where I want to go with it, but it's been kind of hard to finish, and all the other ideas in my head that are screaming to be written (you wouldn't believe how many there are) make it hard to focus...

whereismyymiind: Thanks!

Shiloh Moon: Lol that's because you haven't really read anything of mine that wasn't angsty... Though I have no idea why I seem to have a tendency for writing angst lately. Seriously, it's like, I'm trying to figure out how to write the next chapter, and what should happen in it, and then BOOM. Angst. Sadness. Even if just a hint of it. And it just has to be written. Though don't worry: this chapter has none of that. In fact, I'm pretty sure it's right up your alley.

And I'm glad you liked them! Honestly, when I read the bit on your profile about you not being a romantic, I thought it meant that you didn't really like sappy stuff or something like that, like you were one of those people who felt an urge to throw a tomato at the screen while watching The Notebook and want to throw up when they see anything particularly sappy or something like that. Just feeling a bit uncomfortable at anything particularly sexual in nature is understandable, though. I mean, all the romance I usually write is usually pure fluff, and while I don't have a problem reading more M rated stuff, I have yet to muster up the courage to actually write such a scene, let alone post it. But yeah, I do love me some romantic fluff.

And uhh, sorry about getting that song stuck in your head again. I know from firsthand experience how annoying such songs can be...

And I don't think I said I was no good at happy stuff. Just that I haven't had a whole bunch of ideas for full-length fics that are pure happy stuff (or, at least, not super angsty all the time).

Anywho, I hope you guys like this one! Honestly, I was worried that the whole main idea for this fic (which was the whole double-meaning thing mentioned at the end) was kind of stupid... but then again, not the weirdest idea for a oneshot piece (and you guys just might get to see what I mean next chapter). I personally enjoyed writing this, though, particularly the short rant part. Seriously, it was possibly the most fun I've had with this piece, being creative as I possibly could with Ed's short ranting.

This ended up being a bit longer than the other pieces. seriously, it turned out to be much more than I expected it to. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!


Ed flopped himself on the all-too familiar couch in Mustang's office, waiting as patiently as someone who normally had no patience to begin with possibly could for his superior to get off the damn phone already.

Even after he'd finally gotten Al's body back, Ed had ended up staying a part of the military. Roy had made what Ed begrudgingly admitted was a rather impressive speech about how much good he could do if he stayed a State Alchemist, even if he couldn't do alchemy anymore (and without even saying it directly, the older man suggested finding a way to get that back as well). Ed had ended up agreeing, and thought it only fitting that the person who originally convinced him to join the military was the very same person to convince him to stay years later, after he'd finally achieved the goal that was the reason he became a State Alchemist in the first place.

Of course, there were times where he rather regretted ever listening to Roy. Such as, oh, let's say, every single time the man had made a crack about his size.

Like today, for example.

Ed had been sitting on the couch, arms folded tightly against his chest, tapping his foot impatiently as he waited for Mustang to finish talking to whoever-the-hell-it-was (by the sound of it, it was probably one of the dickhead's many girlfriends). Sitting not two feet from him was Lieutenant Havoc, who un-retired (if that was even a word) after gaining back his mobility, and now had yet another cigarette clenched between his teeth, just as always.

Havoc raised an eyebrow, and pulled out another cigarette, offering it to him. "Want one?" he asked.

"Fuck no." Ed never really understood the appeal of smoking. To him, it just seemed like a nasty habit, one that couldn't possibly be good for the person doing it. Though he supposed that there must be something enjoyable about it, seeing how many people tended to smoke.

Anyway, he continued waiting there for several minutes, growing steadily more irritated as Roy continued chatting amicably, showing absolutely no signs of finishing anytime soon.

"Ah, Lindsay, you're quite the feisty one, aren't you? Makes me just that much more eager for tonight." There was a pause, and Roy let out a loud, booming chuckle that almost echoed in the rather silent office, and it was all Ed could do to stop himself from going over there and permanently rearranging the man's face using nothing but his fists. If he laughs like that ONE MORE TIME, I fucking swear to God I will-

"Well, much as I would absolutely love to continue our lovely little chat here, unfortunately I have some things to attend to." Ed noticed that Mustang had looked straight at him as he said that, which surprised him a little. So the bastard had noticed him there; Ed had seriously thought that wasn't the case at all. "Yes, of course they're rather important. I would never refuse further conversation with a wonderful woman such as yourself for something that wasn't of the utmost importance... I'll see you later tonight then, alright? ... Alright. Buh-bye!" And with that, the eight-minute torture session that Ed had experienced since stepping inside the office finally ended, and Roy turned to him, a small smirk on his lips.

"Fullmetal, what a surprise," he said smoothly. "And what, exactly, resulted in this little visit of yours?"

"Can it, ya bastard." If it had been anyone else, anyone who wasn't as tolerant as Roy and who hadn't had five years to get used to Ed's seemingly complete lack of respect (Ed, Roy knew, did respect him, but didn't show it in the most obvious of ways), the boy would have been flogged in a heartbeat, and perhaps demoted or even stripped of his military title. As it was, Mustang didn't so much as blink at the words so callously tossed in his face. "You know damn well why I'm here."

"Do I?" Mustang rose an ebony eyebrow at the younger man. "I must need a refresher, then."

Ed gritted his teeth, refraining from offering to deliver said refresher- with his fist, of course. "Okay, then Colonel-"

"General," Roy reminded him without missing a beat. He'd been promoted after the events of the Promised Day, and seemed to relish in taking every single opportunity he had to rub it in everyone's faces. He wasn't the only one who had gotten a promotion that day- Ed in particular was a Lieutenant Colonel now, which meant he was still just a couple ranks below Roy, as before, but unlike Roy, he never particularly cared about rank. Mustang, on the other hand, had enjoyed the bragging rights that came with the promotion if nothing else, and was still far too smug in correcting Ed's slipups (which were going to happen; after all, Roy had been a colonel since before Ed had even joined the military, and therefore Ed was so accustomed to referring to him as such that it was difficult to break the habit and call him something else). Ed swore all the power had already gone to the man's head.

"General, whatever. I'm here to turn in my research for my yearly assessment. You know, so I don't get my license taken away." He put the folder he was carrying in the desk, using every last bit of effort he had to keep himself from losing it.

"Oh, right. That." Mustang's voice was clearly filled with mock surprise, which ticked Edward off just that much more. Seriously, it was times like these that made Ed think that the older man existed just for the sake of pissing him off, as if it were his life's goal or something. If it were, he was sure doing a hell of a good job at it. Still, Ed managed to refrain from snapping at Roy- he was nothing if not more mature, and had learned a little restraint. He was particularly proud of himself for not, despite having spent more than ten minutes having to put up with the jackass and his infuriating tendencies, completely losing the last bit of restraint he still had and exploding.

Yet.

"Yeah, that. Now if you'll excuse me, I have other things I have to do-"

"Like that mechanic girlfriend of yours?" Mustang asked almost innocently, although what he'd just suggested was anything but. In response, Ed's face turned crimson, perfectly matching the shade of his old coat, though whether it was from embarrassment or anger, it wasn't clear. Most likely it was some combination of the two that resulted in the vermilion coloring that now stained the young alchemist's cheeks.

"The hell- You leave Winry outta this! That wasn't what I was referring to at all, you fucking perv!"

"Oh, it isn't? Oops, my mistake. Perhaps I should've known better." The general's smirk was taunting, as if he knew full well how close Ed was to losing it completely (he probably did), and was simply itching to see the Fullmetal Alchemist pushed over the edge (he probably was).

Just as much as Ed was itching to wipe that smirk off his face completely.

Ed's eyes narrowed dangerously, enough to make any average man piss himself out of sheer terror. "The hell's that supposed to mean?" he growled.

"Oh, nothing. Just that, in my experience, women usually don't go for smaller men. She might just be trying to let you off easy."

Ed had been stewing in his anger for a while now, and it had grown until it was about ready to burst, like a volcano ready to erupt. So, in all likelihood, even the most subtle, mildly insulting comment would've been plenty enough to set him off- and it made it all the worse that Mustang had so casually brushed up on what was a sore subject for the young alchemist for what was perhaps the billionth time, despite the fact that it so clearly, obviously wasn't true anymore and Ed, unable to help noticing it, had actually believed the short jokes were well and truly behind him now.

For three whole seconds, it was deathly silent- like the eerie calm before a storm. Then he exploded.

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING A TINY LITTLE BEANSPROUT DWARF MIDGET RUNT SO SMALL THAT A FLEA WOULD NEED A TINY, FLEA-SIZED MICROSCOPE JUST SO HE COULD BE SEEN?" Ed roared, so loudly that Roy was pretty sure the Xingese could clearly hear every word he'd said, even with the huge desert that lay in between their country and Amestris.

Mustang simply blinked at him, and to anyone watching the whole debacle, it would've been very clear that the man had, in fact, long since grown used to such rants from his subordinate. "Why, you, of course," he replied calmly, a heavy contrast from the earthquake-inducing yell that had occurred seconds ago. "Who else would I be referring to?"

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?" he screeched. "ARE YOU SURE YOU ACTUALLY GOT YOUR SIGHT BACK, MUSTANG? OR MAYBE YOU'RE JUST A COMPLETE DUMBASS WITH A FUCKING DEATH WISH! WHY ELSE WOULD YOU THINK IT'S A GOOD IDEA TO CALL ME A DIMINUTIVE SHRUNKEN HALF-PINT MIDGET FLEA BABY SO MINISCULE THAT HE CAN BARELY BE ACKNOWLEDGED AS EVEN EXISTING? I'VE ACTUALLY GROWN A FEW DAMN INCHES IF YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED ALREADY, YOU JACKASS PERVERTED EXCUSE FOR A COLONEL! FUCK, I'M ALMOST AS TALL AS YOU ARE, YA BASTARD!"

As Ed stood there, heaving from the effort of his ranting (he really DID have lungs of steel, as anyone who'd met him can attest to; however, such lungs did, in fact, require a massive amount of energy to be used at full potential), Mustang just looked at him, the rant having hardly fazed him- except for one little detail (no pun intended, of course).

"Don't you mean... General?" Roy reminded him.

Ed let out a mighty scream of frustration and stormed out of the office, slamming the door shut behind him with such force that it was practically a miracle that the door didn't instantly shatter into a million pieces. He wasn't sure where he was going, but Ed didn't particularly care, either, just so long it was far, far away from the man who, if it weren't for the risk of getting kicked out of the military and perhaps even worse, he would have already beat the shit out of on Day One.

Roy's office, meanwhile, was once again silent, and there was a feeling in the air akin to the one that lingered after a tornado had just rolled through (without any of the destruction, thankfully). Lieutenant Havoc, who had been quietly watching the entire time, puffing away on his cigarette while doing so, was ready to get his business with the General done and over with- but then he found that he couldn't for the life of him remember why the hell he was here in the first place.

"Well,"Roy said cheerfully. "That seemed to go right over his head, didn't it? Not that I needed to aim very high in the first place."

"The kid's got a point, though," Havoc stated. "He really is almost as tall as you are right now. Hell, he probably expected to get nothing but comments on how much he's grown taller and stuff."

Roy rolled his eyes. "Oh, please. Haven't you ever considered his temper? Or how he's always a rebellious pain in the ass? With the way he acts, I suspect it's his way of trying to make up for his obvious lack in the size department." Mustang's tone hinted at something else, though, and it took a second for Havoc to get it. Once he did, he figured that it was probably a good thing that Ed seemed to completely miss it, as he'd been pissed off enough thinking that Roy was just calling him short- and any man would've been insulted by the other meaning to his words.

"Mustang, you're terrible," Havoc declared.


Review! And please do give me prompts to write about! Preferably the first-sentence prompts. And happy FMA Day!