They sent for Doughnut Jimmy the next day as this was too serious a case to be left to the doctors of Ankh-Morpork, and although he examined Rincewind thoroughly he couldn't tell them much more than the doctor in XXXX and the only thing he could suggest was rest, which Ponder thought, wasn't a very revelatory prescription.

Ponder saw Rincewind at breakfast the morning after, without the wheelchair but with the canes tucked under the table. He sympathised with Rincewind's desire not to be dependent on others and admired his determination to be mobile again as quickly as possible, but he worried that if Rincewind pushed himself too hard too fast, he'd only end up doing himself more harm than good.

He pushed his fears aside and sat down next to Rincewind with a warm smile. He noted the dark circles under his eyes and the rabbit-like nervousness that seemed to be his perpetual state now. Ponder tried to engage him in conversation and he did answer questions and even occasionally offered comments of his own, but he spoke almost in a whisper that Ponder had to strain to hear and mostly simply focussed on his scant breakfast.

When he'd finished he got up unsteadily. Ponder reached under the table, retrieved the sticks and handed them to him. Rincewind muttered a thank you to him and made his way slowly out of the Great Hall. Ponder sadly watched the hunched figure go, stymied by indecision. He could have gone after him, he could have convinced him to play board or card games with him, he could have gone and sat with him and chatted about everything and anything, but he knew that if he did that Rincewind would only be agreeing to do so because he thought that was what Ponder wanted, not because he wanted to do any of those things, and a part of him, though he wouldn't admit it even to himself would, desperately, want Ponder to go away and leave him alone.

Of course, Ponder knew that doing nothing was not a good idea either. The Rincewind he had known, however briefly, had definitely not seemed the type to even contemplate suicide; he feared death too much. But the man he had been looking after for the past month or so wasn't really the same Rincewind as the one they had sent to the Counterweight Continent. He startled as the slightest noise, he always seemed on high alert as if he were just waiting for an attack and, due to some kind of protective amnesia, he didn't know why he felt like this. Ponder mused with a sort of morbid curiosity how long he would last in a state like that before he thought about doing something...silly.

Ponder compromised and resolved to give him some time by himself, then go, and check on him later.

It was mid-afternoon when Ponder found him, although with hindsight, he thought, it should have been an obvious place to look. He was sitting on a bench in the garden looking out on the flowers and listening to the birds. Ponder conspicuously announced his presence so as not to startle him and sat down on the other side of the bench. After a long pause Ponder said, "I'm sure you could be given a section of the garden to cultivate as you'd like, if it would help you to have something to do." He watched Rincewind's face carefully.

"Can you promise me I'll recover?"

The simple question was barely a whisper but it froze Ponder's blood in his veins. He wanted so very badly to lie to him, to tell him that he'd be back to his old self in a couple of weeks, that it was all a fuss over nothing; as much to reassure himself as the slight figure beside him. He knew couldn't do that to him, but neither did he feel he could tell him the truth, because the truth was he didn't know. He didn't know if he'd recover his memories, he didn't know if he'd ever hear a sudden noise without flinching, if his nights would ever be free of the monsters he carried with him, if he'd ever be able to truly relax around anyone ever again. He would, of course, assist him all he could; he would find ways that would make his life more bearable, but he couldn't shake the idea that perhaps that most noble of ambitions was just as selfish as might be a desire by Rincewind to end, prematurely, an existence he found intolerable.

At Ponder's growing silence, Rincewind's shoulders started to shake. Ponder shuffled next to him and put his arms around the vulnerable wizard, and as Rincewind sobbed into his chest Ponder wept too, overcome by conflicting emotions and the depth of empathy he felt for the man he held in his arms.

After the storm of emotions had blown itself out and the two wizards could think fairly clearly again Rincewind said, "I would like a garden to look after by myself, thank you." Ponder, slightly taken aback by this, quickly recalled his previous comment and said, "Oh! Good, I'll go and talk to Modo in the morning." He hoped this was a good sign, that Rincewind was going to find things to engage in and was less likely to give up, but his fears didn't leave him.

After a week at UU it was obvious that, although Rincewind made sure to be seen up and about, only using the one stick now, he was not getting nearly enough sleep. His eyes were always incredibly bloodshot and the circles around them were now so dark that he looked like he'd gone three rounds with the Dean. He maintained a relatively cheery persona to stop any concerned enquiries but even the wizards could tell it was all an act for their benefit. If any of them caught him when he thought he was alone they noticed that his shoulders sagged as though he was wearing a lead coat and he moved slowly and deliberately, like a man over twice his age. Nevertheless, in his presence, they played along, not really knowing what else to do.

He could now often be seen in the garden where he was currently in the process of planting hedges around the large plot of land that Modo had delineated for him. Progress was slow due to worsening hand eye co-ordination brought on by sleep deprivation and he often dropped his tools, but he worked with a bloody-minded determination, which both awed and frightened Ponder.

The problem was that Unseen University was much larger than Bugarup University and Rincewind's screams were less likely to be heard and, thus, responded to, however reluctantly. Generally, when his nightmares refused to let him sleep he went to the library and read books until morning, then he would return to his room.

Rincewind had declined, as gently but firmly as he could, Ponder's attempts to move him into his quarters so he could soothe his nightmares, not wanting Ponder to suffer as well, but the situation was fast becoming serious. There was even talk among the senior faculty of sending him to The Lady Sybil Charity Hospital, just 'til he got better of course. Ponder had raised objections to this course of action, still not entirely convinced that the standard of medicine had improved as much as people said it had and also afraid that Rincewind would interpret hospitalisation as an admission of failure on his part and deepen his depression. Not to mention the lack of freedom that would necessarily result in.

It was around this time that the strange sounds of sawing and hammering were heard in the library during the day, but the wizards dismissed this as unimportant, it was probably one of the Librarian's personal projects and therefore best not interfered with anyway.

One night when Ponder, unable to sleep himself, wandered across to Rincewind's room and found rumpled sheets but no Rincewind, naturally he panicked. The, rather grumpy, wizards having been got out of their beds in the middle of the night, had searched all the places Rincewind could usually be found, some had even ventured into the garden with torches, before some bright spark suggested they look in the library. The library was, they knew, dangerously powerful so they knocked gently at the door and, when they got no answer, pushed it open cautiously. They could hear a strange creaking noise coming from behind one of the lesser used bookcases and they approached it warily. Ponder peered round the side of the shelving and gave a huge sigh of relief. Between the bookcases was a bed big enough for a grown man but with runners on the bottom like a cradle. Sitting on a shelf, reading a book with one hand, eating a banana with the other and gently pushing the cradle with a foot was the Librarian. And tucked under blankets in the cradle, sleeping as soundly as a baby, one thumb in his mouth the other arm clutching a teddy bear, was Rincewind. The faces of the other wizards appeared round the bookcase and even they smiled at the scene before them.

UU wizards would never allow themselves to be accused of sentimentality but there was something about that peaceful face that made every man hanker for a vaguely remembered time of childish innocence. Ponder noticed that the teddy Rincewind was holding so tightly belonged to HEX and made a mental note to get him a bear of his own. If that were all it took, it would be a very small price to pay. The Librarian put a finger to his lips and the wizards silently withdrew back to their own beds.