THREE YEARS LATER

"Fuck… fuck… fuck…."

Pacing the hallway outside of the bathroom, Lizzy watches the timer tick away on her phone. Two minutes. Two minutes and her fate, her entire future, is going to be decided for her. Just two stupid, way too short minutes…

The timer goes off and Lizzy briefly thinks she might puke.

"Okay… it's gonna be okay. Everything will be okay," she nods to herself, her mini pep talk all bullshit and she knows it.

Deep breath, Lizzy walks into the bathroom and to the vanity counter. She looks.

"Oh, fuck me!" she yells out with fear and anger… and shock. "No fucking way!" She steps back from the white plastic stick of terror, her heart hammering as she presses a hand over her mouth.

Plus sign. She's pregnant.

"How the fuck did this happen?" she whispers to herself as she walks back out of the bathroom in a daze, needing to put some distance between herself and the test of doom. She meanders the house as her mind flies. Surprised isn't exactly a strong enough word for what she feels.

She's pregnant. She's going to have a baby. She's literally creating a person as she stands there, one that will grow up and call her mom. And drain her already not full enough bank account. And need college tuition. And basic guidance. And a responsible parent.

That's not her! She's not responsible! She can't give guidance to a kid if she's still a kid at heart herself!

Well, she's not a kid technically, she's aware. Lizzy just lives like one. She still gets drunk every single weekend and certainly doesn't want to stop. At the age of twenty-nine she has no plans to change her lifestyle at all… but this changes everything, whether she's ready or not.

Sitting onto the couch she holds her head in her hands for a second. What the fuck is she going to do?

"Louie!" she remembers and frantically pulls Lou's number up on her phone, dialing instantly. Her sister has talked her down from every single ledge in her life. This is the biggest one she's stood on yet. Thankfully she'll always have Lou to prevent her from jumping. Lou can help get her through this….

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

"I'm worried about possible issues with the lining of your uterus at this point. And your hormone levels worry me, Lou."

Sitting in a chair across the desk from her OBGYN doctor, Lou swallows hard. "What does that mean?"

"It means, as of right now, with your extremely low levels of estrogen… there's no way you'll be able to get pregnant no matter what state your uterus is in," the doctor rips off the band aid.

The punch to the gut makes it hard to breathe. Lou shakes her head with disbelief and asks, "I won't get pregnant like this?"

"No."

"Ever?"

"Oh, no," her doctor smiles kindly. "I wouldn't count pregnancy out for you at this point, not by a long shot. However, it might take time and a lot of investigating to find out what the cause of the problem is and how to treat it."

"Okay," Lou nods as she feels her phone start to vibrate in her pocket. She pulls it out to peek, sees Lizzy's name, and silences the ringer. She puts it back into her pocket. Lizzy can wait.

"So, here's what we need to do," the doctor starts, pulling out a few pages from a file folder. "Because of your insurance, you need to find an infertility specialist to work with in order to further investigate. They require a specialist for you to receive coverage. Here's a list of the ones that are covered by your insurance company. Once you have an initial meeting with a specialist, they will set you up with the proper tests you'll need to investigate the root of your infertility."

Infertility. Infertile. She'd never placed that label on herself before now but after two years of trying and two years of failing it makes sense. But that word… it's so ugly. She can feel the lump forming in the back of her throat.

"I'll look into them," Lou nods, voice suddenly much quieter as her new reality sets in. "Um… so, what kind of tests do you think they'll need to do?"

"Well, I can't speak on your new doctor's behalf but I can almost guarantee that Sam's sperm count will need to be tested to make sure that once they solve your possible issues that you will be able to conceive."

"That's easy," Lou nods.

"Trust me, for men this is the easy." She smiles at Lou comfortingly. "Past that, you'll probably have some ultrasounds, they will test your egg count which will probably be on the high side as the low levels of estrogen tend to prevent egg release. And you'll have more detailed testing of your levels. Also, an MRI might be necessary."

Lou closes her eyes for a moment, willing back the tears. All she wanted was what everyone else wants. She just wants a family. She simply wants to be a mom. Never before now did she think that'd be such a huge thing to desire. Why is this so damn hard for her?

"Lou, it's going to be alright," her doctor kindly tells her, reading her thoughts. "I know it's overwhelming and it feels like it's not going to happen because it's been a while already… but trust me. It'll happen. It's very rare that I see someone that needs to look for options outside of pregnancy. We're going to figure this out."

"It's just a long road ahead, right?" Lou looks for some more reassurance.

"It may be but Lou, you will find a way to be a mother," she tells her the truth. The doctor then takes the paper with infertility specialists listed on it back. She circles one particular name with her pen. "Call Doctor Sanchez. He's a friend. He's the best around here. Generally I'm not supposed to pull favorites but… just trust me. He very proactive. And honestly, I have three children myself because of him."

Lou nods, looking at the pages of information she was given. Pamphlets and lists and printouts… and this is just the very beginning. This is completely overwhelming.

She wants to cry.

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

"Fuck!" Lizzy shouts with frustration when Lou doesn't answer.

She tosses her phone aside and shakes her head. Lou always answers her calls. Always. Why is now the one time she ignores her call? What the fuck?

Okay, just breathe a minute here. This isn't the end of the world. This is nothing she's ever planned or wanted but… fuck, this is a nightmare!

"Honey! I'm home!"

"Damn it," Lizzy quietly panics in a new way when she stands up sharply from the couch and plasters on a fake smile. "Hey," she greets back with a strange voice, knowing she sounds off. Okay, she needs to get it together.

When he walks into the living room, Dean gives her one look and can tell something's not quite right with her. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Lizzy shakes her head and tries to play it off. She's not ready to tell him. More time. Maybe tomorrow after she processes the shock. Yeah, tomorrow first thing. Definitely by lunch time.

Dean just cocks an eyebrow and stares at her a little longer. "Awkward. You sure you're okay?"

"Totally. What are you doing home so early?" Lizzy changes the subject. Usually he's home a couple hours later than this so she uses that.

"Finished up ahead of schedule. Told everyone I was going home and had Ash promise to lock up. It's good to be the boss," he smirks at her with a wink and drops his jacket on the back of his favorite leather upholstered chair.

"Guess so," she keeps her forced smile in place. "I, uh… I called Mari and had her cover for me tonight." Because I got scared that I couldn't get through a shift if I found out I was knocked up….

"Nice!" Dean lights up as he heads for the hallway. "We should go out for dinner."

"Sure," Lizzy nods despite the fact that the simple idea of food is making her stomach churn with nerves.

"Let me just wash up and we can go." He smiles wide with excitement and walks for the bathroom.

The minute he's gone she lets out a hard breath. How the hell is she going to keep up this everything's-fine attitude all night? Damn it. She just needed time to sort this out, maybe try and accept what's happening….

"Shit!" Lizzy freaks out when she realizes she left the pregnancy test on the bathroom counter. Dean's in the bathroom.

Sprinting down the hall, she comes to a skid-stop in the doorway to find Dean standing in front of the sink, the plastic stick with a bright blue plus sign on it in his hands as he inspects it. His brow is wrinkled and lowered as he tries to figure out exactly what he's looking at.

Okay, huge problem. She panics for real now. What does she do?

"I'm late," Lizzy blurts out when she doesn't really know how else to approach this. Just get it over with is her only option now. "A week late. I thought at first it was the stress of the bar getting expanded but then I thought about it rationally… and I got freaked. I missed a couple pills so I got a test. I didn't think you'd be home yet…"

"Does this mean what I think it means?" Dean asks, holding out the pregnancy test to her as he peers at her eyes for answers.

Lizzy tries to confirm it verbally but her voice fails. She just nods in the affirmative.

Dean then looks back down at the pregnancy test with a blank face.

"I know we never talked about this. I mean, we don't really ever talk about the future past tomorrow, like, ever. I don't know if you ever even wanted to be a dad. And, and… shit. We don't have the money for this socked away and it's a total life changer…."

She stops when Dean looks back to her again, this time the brightest grin she's ever seen him have on his face. Her heart skips when she sees this unexpected reaction from him.

"We're gonna have a baby?" Dean asks, his voice full of hope.

"Uh… looks like it," Lizzy answers with nothing but fear in her tone.

He lets out one disbelieving laugh, eyes glazing over a little with the news.

"Wait, you're okay with this?" Lizzy wonders, seeing his reaction.

"Are you kidding?" he asks, his voice cracking. He rushes for her, arms open as he embraces her. His arms tightly hold her as she can hear him let out a laugh that suspiciously sounds like a sob. "This is awesome."

And for the first time Lizzy relaxes just a little. He's happy. Truly happy. She never let herself think of this response as an option.

"You're… really, honestly good with this?" Lizzy hesitantly questions.

Dean lets her go and wipes his eyes with one hand, the positive test still in his other. "Lizzy… we're a family now. You're… you're gonna give me a kid. Yeah. I'd call it happy." He then grins so wide it hurts his cheeks and he watches Lizzy loosen up with it.

"I gotta be honest here… I'm fucking scared."

"Why?" Dean needs to know, not understanding.

"We don't have the money for this…."

"Money can be figured out," Dean brushed her worry off.

"We… shit, we're not married."

"Who cares?"

"And… I'm a fuck up," Lizzy finally airs her true concern.

"No you're not," Dean denies her though immediately.

"Yes I am," Lizzy corrects him with annoyance. "I drink too much. I stay out late like I'm still in college. I don't act anything like an adult…."

"Lizzy," Dean interrupts her and she stops talking to stare at him. "Do you want this?" he asks with icy fear, clearly concerned about her thoughts on the new turn of events.

"I… I don't know," she confesses, her hands on her hips. "I never even thought about having kids before."

"But now that we are… what do you think?" Dean needs to know, still scared she'll tell him she doesn't want a family. Damn it, why didn't they talk about this in all the years they've been together? They've always just kind of lived day to day.

She just takes a second to think and look at the man she's still wildly in love with. Every day they spend together, from eating meals to watching television to going to bed… whether it be for fun or just honest sleep… is better than the last. They're so good together, have so much love for one another, that sharing that with another person, one they created together, suddenly doesn't seem all that bad. It kind of seems good… beautiful even. And the excitement Dean's showing is pretty infectious.

"I'm terrified," she starts with. "And I wasn't ready at all. But… we did this." Without knowing it, her hand comes to her lower abdomen. "And I guess it's happening, ready or not."

Dean nods at her and lets her go on.

"I want this," she shockingly tells him. "I can't believe I'm saying this but… I want to have a family. With you. Holy shit." She then hysterically starts laughing once everything actually, finally hits her. "Oh my god! I'm fucking pregnant! Ha!"

Dean starts up too, the sound contagious. After a moment he walks back into her space and hugs her again. He then presses his lips to hers, kissing the woman he's nuts about and is about to make him a father.

"Shit, I gotta call Sam," Dean backs away when he thinks about his brother.

"I haven't told Lou yet."

"Really!?" Dean is surprised.

"Of course. I needed to tell you first." When Dean just looks at her with a bullshit-calling face, she fesses up. "She didn't answer her phone."

"Ah, makes sense," Dean smiles.

"Can't we wait for tonight?" Lizzy requests. "Tell them tomorrow? We can swing by their place and do it in person. I think I need tonight to wrap my head around this."

"Good idea," Dean agrees as he unexpectedly reaches out to grab the bottom hem of her t-shirt and lifts it over her head. He then grabs her hips and pulls her closer. "We should really celebrate anyways."

The way he smiles at her, all boyish charm and sweetness, she smiles right back. "You better be talking about sex because I can't drink anymore."

"Jesus, are you gonna survive?" Dean laughs at her.

"Just help me past the withdrawals and I'll be fine," she jokes in return.

Grinning like an idiot, Dean looks down at her flat stomach and runs a hand across her smooth skin, his fingers right above the life growing inside her. The life that's half his. How amazing. Eyes on hers, he tells her, "God, I love you."

"You're such a girl," Lizzy says to him before pulling him down into a heated, long kiss.

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

"And that's everything," Lou tells him, her voice downtrodden as she places the last pamphlet into the pile of informative papers on the coffee table. She looks at her husband sitting next to her after going through everything she was told at her appointment earlier that afternoon and sighs. "It's a lot."

"A lot more than I was ready for," Sam admits, running his hands through his hair.

"Me too," Lou quietly responds. She then sighs again.

"But if this is what it takes… then we do it, right?" Sam comments, ready to dive in head first to get what they want so badly in life.

Lou nods slowly before biting her lower lip. Hesitantly, she airs her concern. "But are we sure we should be doing all this?"

"What are you talking about?" Sam quickly asks, upset by the question.

"Maybe… maybe this is god or whatever telling us that kids just aren't in the cards for us," Lou explains her fears. "I mean, two years is a long time to try and never once be successful. And all this?" She points to the pile. "How many procedures do I have to go through before we're told it's worthless to keep trying? After we go through all this we still may not be able to have kids."

Sam steels his face to not give away his own worries to her. He then leans into her and pulls an arm around her shoulders. "Lou… do you want a family?"

"I don't know now," her voice wavers, eyes watering. "I don't know about all this. It's so fucking much…"

"It's scary. I know that. But I'm gonna ask again and I need to you to be honest," Sam sternly says to her. "Do you want a family?"

She thinks quickly, taking a deep breath with the pain in her chest over all their failures and now the unexpected expense/medical invasiveness throw at them. She peers up at him as her eyes water over. "More than anything."

Not able to handle this kind of pain from his wife, Sam pulls her into his lap. Getting her seated across his legs, he holds her tight in his arms as she starts to cry.

"This sucks," Sam tells her as she turns her face into his neck and lets go. "And it isn't fair. But if you still want this, because I know I do for sure… then this will be worth it. It'll be difficult and it'll be expensive and it'll probably hurt but… if you want this and you're willing to do anything for it then we have to try. We'll figure it all out. We'll figure out the money and the time it'll take. Everything will be fine, Lou."

"What if we can't?" Lou airs her biggest, most concerning fright.

"Then we adopt," Sam shrugs. "There are kids that need good, loving homes. We can provide that."

Lou stays quiet with that.

"Is that an option you'd consider?" Sam wonders, looking down at her wet, tear-streaked face.

"I hadn't let myself think about it before now, truthfully." She sniffles and makes eye contact. "But I would be happy with that. If we can't have kids."

"See," Sam smiles at her, it being forced but he hopes she can't tell. "No matter what, we will figure this out. I won't let this ruin your dreams, Lou. Someday, before you know it, there will be someone calling you mom. I promise."

She collapses into sobs at the very idea. When they first started trying to conceive she never imagined this happening. She assumed by now they'd have a one year old running around their house. Instead she's the one sitting in Sam's lap crying, not their child. This is just so painfully unfair.

"Why us?" Lou has to ask. "Why did we get this thrown at us? We're good people. We would give a child a good, happy home. Why us? It doesn't make sense."

"You're right, it doesn't," Sam concurs. "We're gonna be amazing parents and it seems weird that we're the ones that can't have that easily. But hell, my mom always said that God only gives the tough stuff to those strong enough to handle it. We can handle this. We just have to be strong and not give up."

Lou nods, sniffling again. "Can I just be weak about it for tonight then?"

He can feel his heart tearing in two for her. "Definitely."

Lou then collapses into the sobs she's been holding back all day. This is the worst. Lou is absolutely devastated and Sam can't do anything to make it better. They're both helpless. And they both just want what's normal to want… what people that don't deserve it manage to get every damn day.

Lou was right. Why them?


Pulling the front door open, Sam's surprised to see his brother standing there with his girlfriend.

"Hey, guys," he greets and steps aside to let them in.

"Hey, Sammy," Dean grins wide and walks in, clapping Sam on the shoulder as he walks by him.

"Hi, Sam," Lizzy also greets while following Dean in.

"What are you two doing here?" Sam asks cordially, surprised by their dropping by. "We didn't plan this or anything, right?" He's hoping he didn't just simply forget they were coming over today. He has enough on his mind recently that forgetting wouldn't be out of the realm of possibility.

"We went out for breakfast and thought we'd stop by," Dean simply answer. "We wanted to talk to you and Lou for a minute."

"Is everything okay?" Sam gets concerned by this, knowing they aren't exactly sit down and talk kind of people.

"Fine," Lizzy assures. "Just… wanted to talk. Is Lou here?"

"She's upstairs. Let me grab her," Sam says simply and gestures to the living room. "Take a load off."

Sam sprints up the stairs, taking them two at a time, and heads for the bedroom. Lou's still out of sorts after yesterday and he let her sleep in. He now has to get her up as much as he doesn't want to.

"Hey," Sam says quietly as he walks into their room, sitting on the edge of the bed facing her. "Lou. Hon, wake up."

"Mm?" she hums as she slowly opens her eyes. She sees Sam sitting there and she smiles a little. "Hey. What's going on?"

"Dean and Lizzy are here," Sam tells her. "They wanted to talk to us about something."

"Weird," Lou scrunches her face up, having the same reaction as Sam did. "Is everything okay?"

"They said it was." He nods to assure her while rubbing a gentle hand up and down her arm.

Lou sits up. "Shit. You think they're finally gonna get hitched?"

Sam laughs, knowing they've been speculating for years on that. "Maybe. Let's go find out."

"Gimme, like, two minutes?"

Sam smiles. "Sure. You feeling better today?"

"Yeah," she says hopefully. "A little bit. I think we can do this."

He then grins wide. "Yeah we can. Alright, get up."

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

"Morning," Lou greets, smiling to her guests as she settles into the couch next to Sam. She really is feeling better, she didn't lie about that. A good night's sleep after a good amount of crying to let it out of her system and she's better. Hopeful even.

"Whoa," Lizzy laughs a little. "You look… tired."

"I am tired," Lou lies completely. She knows her sister will do nothing but worry about her if she tells the truth. She's not ready to spill it all to her just yet. Maybe once they have a plan in place….

"You feeling alright?" Lizzy pushes on, very concerned.

"Just tired, Lizzy. I promise," Lou forces a smile. "So, what's up?"

Dean's face breaks out in a massive smile as he looks at Lizzy.

She just grins back. "You wanna tell them?"

"This is more your news than mine," Dean reminds her, thinking she has more of a right to the news than he does.

"Okay," Lizzy nods, biting her lip as she looks across the room from the loveseat at her sister and brother-in-law. "Well, kinda unexpected… and totally not planned…."

"Just tell me you're getting married finally," Lou jokes a little, thinking she's completely right.

"No," Lizzy stops her, smile still in place. "But… uh… well, you're gonna be an aunt." She lets out a big breath she's been holding.

The air in the room gets sucked out as Lou and Sam both just stare at her with seemingly no response.

"Um… okay…." Lizzy worries about their lack of reaction.

"Guys. We're having a baby!" Dean grins wider than even before. Again, the pair look blank. "Anything?"

Worried as all hell as his heart plummets into his stomach, Sam looks sharply to his side at Lou with fear. After yesterday this couldn't have come at a worse time for her. His heart is racing with concern.

"Lou?" Sam checks on her and grabs her hand from her lap. She immediately takes it back and glances at him for a quick second. He sees the tears already forming.

"Lou… you alright?" Lizzy questions when her sister doesn't bust out in excitement for her like she assumed she would.

Lou looks at her sister and in a small, sad voice she says, "That's, uh… ha. That's great."

Her face and voice don't at all match her words. She's falling apart.

Lizzy and Dean are at a loss. Neither are reacting like they'd hoped. "I know this is kinda unexpected…" Dean starts. "And honestly, it was completely unexpected for us too…"

"Oh god," Lou sobs out as she stands up. "I'm sorry. I gotta…." She looks around a bit and decides she can't be in the same room as her sister right now. "Lizzy… I'm happy for you. I swear. I, uh… I'm sorry."

Lou walks out of the room crying.

Lizzy stands up immediately and starts to follow her sister, knowing she has to help her, but Sam stops her.

"Lizzy, don't," he says to her. "Sit down. I think I need to talk to you guys, too."

"What the fuck is going on?" Lizzy asks, sitting back down next to Dean and placing her hand on his knee, gripping it with worry.

"We had a rough day yesterday," Sam explains. "And your news… it's great news. Please know that. Honest truth, we're really happy for both of you. I just need you to understand that… it's just bad timing. Really bad timing."

"Sam?" Dean simply asks, looking for more.

"Lou and I… we've been trying to get pregnant for two years now," Sam gets it over with. "And we can't seem to make it happen."

"What!?" Lizzy gets more than concerned. "She never told me you guys were trying to have a kid."

"She wanted it to be a surprise," Sam explains. "She hasn't told anyone. Neither have I. We wanted the news to be out of the blue when it happened. But… it just never worked out that way."

The guilt starts to creep in right then, Lizzy's heart aching for her sister and Sam. She presses a hand over her mouth as she listens, her grip on Dean's knee tightening even more.

"Yesterday she had an appointment with her usual doctor. They told her she needs to start seeing an infertility specialist to figure out what's going on. It's pretty invasive, some of the procedures… and it looks like it could take a long time. It was just a really difficult day for her… for me, too. We really thought we would have had a child by now…."

"Oh, god," Lizzy voice raises as the tears start to form. "And I just came over here and told you we're pregnant. And you and Lou have been dealing with this… and yesterday… fuck. And this was an accident…."

"Unplanned," Dean corrects, not seeing an accident at all.

"Whatever," Lizzy sighs. "Oh god, I can't believe we just did that."

"You didn't know," Sam shakes his head. "On any other day you know we would have been celebrating with you over this. And we really are happy for you guys. This is really great news…."

"We understand, Sammy," Dean lets his brother know. "We're just sorry the timing is so terrible."

"It is pretty bad," Sam huffs out in disbelief.

"What do you have to do?" Lizzy wants to know, already fully into the issue they're dealing with.

"What don't we have to do… or what doesn't Lou have to do," Sam explains. "It's almost all on her. Every test or procedure is for her to go through except one. It's completely uneven."

Lizzy reads the guilt and pain all over Sam. He's not dealing all that well either but he's keeping it together for Lou.

"It's a whole list, really. I'm not gonna go through it all now," Sam tells them in a tired voice. "The point is that Lou's not doing well with this. Going through all the information the doctor gave her last night made us realize how big this all is. The time, the money, the pain… but we want this. We want a family and we're gonna make it work. We're determined."

"We can help," Dean offers immediately. "You need money, we can help you guys out." Lizzy nods enthusiastically to agree.

"Dean," Sam smiles warmly for the first time all day. "You need your money. You have a child of your own to raise. Don't worry about that. We can figure it out."

Dean looks hurt by the refusal but he knows Sam's right.

"I talked to her last night about telling you everything she's going through because I know she could use the support." He's looking right at Lizzy for this. "She didn't want to say anything before but now, I know talking about everything instead of hiding it would be beneficial."

"But I've got to be the last person she wants to talk to right now," Lizzy says quietly, wiping her eyes. She's so sad for them and she feels helpless and so guilty.

"Maybe… but you're still her sister. You being pregnant is going to be incredibly difficult for her to deal with but that has nothing to do with you being her best friend," Sam explains. "I like to think Lou's stronger than letting this stop her from being able to turn to you when she needs you."

"Fuck," Lizzy laments, tears still falling. "I don't want this for her. Or for you. You guys don't deserve this shit."

"You're right… but that's life."

"If there's anything we can do, you'll let us know, right?" Dean offers to his little brother. "Anything at all. You name it, we're there."

Sam nods. "Thanks." He then looks at Lizzy. "I think you should try and talk to her."

"No way," Lizzy denies the idea. "I have the one thing she wants and I don't deserve it half as much as she does. How the hell do I even be in the same room as her right now?"

"You're still her sister," he repeats.

Lizzy looks fearful about the very idea of speaking to Lou right now.

"Please. Just try and talk to her," Sam tries again. "I think it'd be good to have her best friend with her right now."

Nervous, Lizzy's resigned. She just nods and stands up. "Okay. I'll try."

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

A few deep breaths and Lizzy raises her fists. She stares at Lou's bedroom door and pauses. Her sister is her life, her best friend… and she's never once until now been terrified to speak to her.

No. Lou needs her. Sam's right. Her sister needs her and it'd be selfish to run away because she's scared. She quit running away from scary things a long time ago.

Knocking lightly, Lizzy waits. She doesn't get an answer but she knows she just heard a quiet sniffle.

"Lou-Lou?" Lizzy calls out, using a nickname from childhood. "I want to talk to you."

"I'm fine, Lizzy," Lou says in a voice that is anything but fine. "Just… go celebrate or something. I'll be fine."

"You're a liar," Lizzy calls her out right away. "And I think we should talk."

"I don't want to."

"Doesn't mean we shouldn't."

"Lizzy… just go away…."

"I'm coming in," Lizzy finally says and opens the door. When she steps inside the room she finds Lou sitting on the end of her bed with a hunched back, tissues in hand as she cries. Lizzy's heart breaks. "Oh, Lou."

"Lizzy, seriously…" Lou starts to tell her to leave but instead Lizzy sits on the carpet at her feet and looks right at her.

"I'm not going anywhere," Lizzy tells her, looking up at her big sister. "Talk to me."

"I don't want to ruin your big news." Lou sniffles and wipes her face.

"Fuck my news. We can deal with it another day. Please talk to me about what's going on with you." Lizzy reaches up and places both hands on her sister's knees. "You always talk to me so let's go."

Lou sobs hard once before finally meeting Lizzy's eyes. "Why now?"

"What do you mean?" Lizzy asks, unsure of what she's asking about exactly.

"Why did you have to get pregnant now?" Lou questions, her chest hurting. "I mean, it's good news. And I hope you're happy since I know there's no fucking way you were trying for this."

Lizzy smiles. "You know me too well."

Lou rolls her eyes, as if to say no shit.

"It was an accident," Lizzy admits with a nod. "Or as Dean says, unplanned. He hates the word accident."

"It's kinda ugly." Lou wipes her eyes again.

"Yeah, it is. But I don't know… I missed a pill or two this month and… I fucked up." Lizzy shrugs her shoulders. "Are you surprised by that?"

"You fucking up is pretty par for the course," Lou half-laughs within a cry.

"So, I fucked up and now… I'm having a baby before I'm ready. We're excited about it. And that's all I'm saying on it for today," Lizzy fairly warns. "Lou, why didn't you tell me what's going on?" She can see very easily that this has been hurting Lou for so long now and she just kept holding it in instead of letting it out.

"I wanted the big news moment," Lou admits so sadly. "I wanted to surprise you and Dean. I wanted to pee on a stick and be shocked and so excited… and that's gone now." Her breath hitches with the admission.

Lizzy just grips hard on her knees. "It's not all it's cracked up to be. And if you can get there… what does it matter how it happens? That's small stuff."

"Yeah…" Lou only partially agrees. "I guess that's true."

"It is. Now… what's going on with you?" Lizzy asks her, ready to know everything.

"Well… right now it's my hormones. They're all fucked up," Lou tells her. "I can't release eggs so I can't get pregnant."

"How do they fix that?"

"Meds. Or hormone treatments if meds don't work. But they have to check everything, and I mean everything, before they let me do that to make sure that if I do take hormones it'll take. And… my doctor thinks I might have an issue with the lining of my uterus too. I don't know much else besides that." Lou sighs and stares at her sister. "I'm just really sad."

"I can understand that," Lizzy tells her and grabs her hands, placing their linked fingers on Lou's knees again.

"And I'm scared," she falls back into sobs.

"Of what?" Lizzy wonders.

"What if we can't?" she cries with deep rooted fear. "What if we can't have children ever?"

Lizzy's face falls as she listens, dying for his sister.

"What if we do all this and spend all our money… and still aren't pregnant?" Lou wonders aloud, finally spilling everything to her best friend. "What if we do everything we're supposed to and we end up broke and no closer to being a family."

"First of all, you are a family," Lizzy corrects. "You and Sam, me and Dean… we're a family already so don't think for a second that you don't have that."

Lou rolls her eyes. "You know what I mean."

"I do," Lizzy nods. "But I also know that this will be figured out. You will be a mom. I promise that."

"How do you know?"

"You think I'm gonna let my big sister be miserable in life? Fuck that!" Lizzy tells her, making Lou actually crack half a smile at that. "I'm with you on this one-hundred percent. You need me to drive you to appointments? Done. Need a little help with the crazy bills? Just let Dean and I know, no shame in that. And if you need help adopting? Not a problem. Hell, if you just need to yell at someone and be pissed off, I'm all for it."

Lou smiles and cries harder at the same time. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner."

"Don't say sorry to me. Say sorry to yourself. You're the one that suffered for it, you moron."

"Fuck you," Lou sniffles. "Thank you."

"I love you, Lou-Lou," Lizzy reminds her and leans up to hug her sister tight. "I'm always here for you, especially now."

"I love you too," Lou sobs out.

"And I mean it," Lizzy reinforces. "You need anything, and I mean anything… just tell me."