What was it with rainy days?People seemed to forget how to drive properly on the rain, Jane though. She wondered why everybody insisted on collapsing streets and roads and parking double parking when all Jane wanted was to find Maura and take her home. Her apartment. Maura's house. Home was Maura snuggling on the couch, wearing Jane's comfy clothes and casually stealing sips from her can of coke.

She deliberately avoided her reflection on the car mirror, where the dense rain was providing a very needed wash. As if sheneeded a descriptive reminder of what a sleepless night looked like.

Resolution seized Jane's body.

The last time Jane had felt so determined had been longer than a year ago; the first time she and Maura made love; Maura couldn't come.


Her skin felt warm on Jane's lips, even though Maura's bedroom window was opened fully.

"I don't have to..." she flushed, her eyes closed. And Jane's heart sank because she had a feeling she wasn't the first person hearing those words coming from Maura. She promised herself it would be the last.

"...ssshhh" She kissed soft, now reluctant lips; caressed her milky thighs.

"Maura..." Maura's eyes remained closed and Jane tenderly kissed each eyelid "Maura, look at me, please"

She slowly did. Jane's hand delicately caressed her hair

"Maura, forget about everything, forget about the rest of the word, forget about fucking" Jane tipped her head, her mouth now almost touching the doctor's ear; she brought her right hand up to stroke the base of Maura's neck. "This, is me making love to you, okay?"

Maura nodded, her lips twisting into a shy smile.

Then it was the sound of the wind outside sweeping the trees and the sound of Maura's breathing as she came; creeping into Jane's naked body.

"Jane"

It came out barely a whisper. Her voice interrupted the soft noises of the outside word at night. Crickets on the distance and cars occasionally passing by had become the soundtrack of the night.

She felt Maura shifting and holding her more tightly, Jane's fingers still inside her. "Thank you"

"shhh... You don't have to thank me. Ever" Jane sat up and pulled the covers over them before turning the bedside lamp off and returning to the previous position "I love you."

"Thank you" Maura continued, and Jane' s mind wondered if she had actually said the words aloud. "For not giving up on me"

"I am not other people, Maura" She reassured, bringing the doctor's hand to her lips.

"I love you"

When her eyes adjusted to the dark she could see tears on the verge of Maura's eyes.


Jane was determined; and determination hadn't been in her mood range for the past few months.

She decided she would try yoga first. After all it was the main reason for which Maura would not be at home on a rainy Sunday morning.

Behind the glass desk, Mark was staring at the screen of the white laptop.

"Long time no see, Jane" He greeted her as she walked in and the Detective swore he was taking pleasure in his words. Jane had always liked him.

"If you are in for the morning yoga class it is almost over, and if you came for pilates, it has been rescheduled to one o'clock"

She took at look at herself, for a second she was confused.

"Wha-. No I am looking for Maura. She came in this morning, right?"

He gave her an understanding smile, but Jane knew it was only half of it.

"Yep, she did come; but left the class halfway through. She said she wasn't feeling good"

Jane's fingers reached for a pen lying on the desk and started wriggling. Mark looked at her hand.

"I asked her if I could drive her home, she was looking pale the poor thing, but she refused, Jane"

"Got any idea where she might have gone?"

"No idea, but I could guess she went straight home; I'm telling ya, she wasn't looking very good"

Jane gave herself a minute to think

"Did you try her phone?"

It seemed obvious; except it wasn't.

Jane felt sorry for Maura when she spotted her rushing down Fellsway Avenue in the heavy rain.

She stopped over yellow lines, at the end of the street. Jane turned the emergency lights on as she fought the urge of getting out of the car.
The rain would only make her wet, and Maura didn't need a damp Jane; so she rolled the window down a few inches to allow some fresh air in the car. Outside, it smelled like ozone.

Her heart was pumping fast when she got out of the car.

Maura didn't seem surprised to find her there, but Jane knew she wasn't living inside a fairy tale where Maura had been waiting all the time for Prince Charming to find her and take her back to the castle. She was just shivering, and pale; and looking too exhausted and unable to show shock. Or anger, or anything for that matter. It broke her heart.

"I-" she wrapped her arms around herself and looked down "I left my car in St James, it was such a good day and I thought I would walk to yoga"

Jane opened the door for her before walking around the car to get in.

"I don't know what I'm doing anymore" She paused, resting her arm over the base of the car window "leaving the house without checking the forecast in advance"

Jane took her jacket off and placed her around Maura's shoulder, helping the wet, trapped hair out of it.

"Me neither" She reached for Maura's hand, giving herself no time for hoping she wouldn't pull away.

She didn't, and Jane felt relief settling on her chest.

The doctor took a big breath "Can we go home?"

Maura, ever the mind-reader. Jane was glad the doctor spoke the words she didn't dare to. She just gave Maura's hand a gentle squeeze, turned the car temperature up and started driving in silence.

Walking home holding Maura's hand had a strange familiarity to it. Like finding a group of people you only know from work, or from cooking class on a bar on a Friday night and finding out about common interests over good conversations and beer.

As usual Joe Friday was nowhere to be found.

"Do you want something hot to drink? I think I have some tea or-"

Jane realized it was absurd, she could hear the chattering of her teeth in the silence of her apartment.

"I would like to sleep for little while"

Maura felt slack and cold as Jane lead her to her bedroom; she guided her so they were both sitting down on her bed and Maura leaned in in search of contact. Jane wrapped her arms around her. The rain hadn't washed the smell of her shampoo away; she was still shivering.

Jane helped the doctor out of her damp yoga pants and her light blue cotton t-shirt; she opened the bed covers for her and started walking towards her closet to get another blanket.

"Jane"

She stopped halfway to look at the bulk that was now Maura buried in her bed

"Don't leave"

"Fuck" She hadn't intended to say it out loud "Not this time. I won't. Not Ever"

Jane placed the flecked blanket over Maura and lay on the bed next to her, softly stroking her back. She could hear the doctor beginning to quietly sob underneath; her hand never stopping running along her. She waited until they faded.

A cold hand emerged from the covers to cup her cheek.

"Jane?"

"Yes" It came out with a sniffling sound.

This time Jane couldn't contain her sobbing, she reached her hand up to wipe the tears.

"I forgive you"

Maura, always the mind-reader.