Yep, here it is, the last chapter! Hope you've all enjoyed the story and I hope you won't be disappointed with the ending! Thanks so much to everyone who's read and special thanks to all who reviewed!
Back For Good
I guess now it's time for me to give up
I feel it's time
Got a picture of you beside me
Got your lipstick mark still on your coffee cup
Got a fist of pure emotion
Got a head of shattered dreams
Gotta leave it, gotta leave it all behind now
"Danielle!" Frantic, Ronnie ran down the few stone stairs, tripping over her own feet in her rush to get to her daughter. "Dani! Dani, baby!" She ran to Danielle and grabbed her shoulders. "Sweetie? Talk to me!"
Danielle simply blinked, the vacant expression still on her face and stared at her mother as if she'd just fallen from outer space.
"Dani?" Ronnie shook her. "Say something! Anything! Baby, please!"
She blinked again and said; "Mum?"
Ronnie choked out a laugh from behind her tears. "Yeah baby, it's me, its Mummy!"
Whatever I said, whatever I did I didn't mean it
I just want you back for good
Whenever I'm wrong just tell me the song and I'll sing it
You'll be right and understood
"Ronnie, what the hell's going on?" Jack asked, as he came rushing out of his house wearing nothing but his boxer shorts. He stopped and stared. "Danielle?"}
"Don't just stand there Jack, help me get her to the Vic!" Ronnie said, beginning to escort her daughter towards the pub, holding her tightly. Jack came to Danielle's other side and supported her in the direction of the pub. Ronnie got to the doors and began to thump frantically on the doors.
"Mum! Roxy! Auntie Peg! Open up!" she thumped louder and said; "she's back! My Dani's back!"
Lights were snapped on and footsteps, more than one pair came thundering down the stairs and there was scrabbling as a figure tried frantically to unlock the door. It opened to reveal the flushed face of Glenda. She gasped and ushered the three inside the warmth of the pub, where Peggy, Roxy and Phil were standing behind the bar.
"Danielle!" Roxy vaulted over the bar and stared her young niece in the face. "Are you OK? Where've you been?"
"Take her upstairs," Glenda said commandingly, taking control of the situation and escorting her granddaughter to the back of the pub. "She needs a bath and some rest."
Unaware but underlined I figured out this story
It wasn't good
But in the corner of my mind I celebrated glory
But that was not to be
In the twist of separation you excelled at being free
Can't you find a little room inside for me
"She's back. I can't believe she's finally back." Ronnie paced the sitting room and started for the door. "I wanna see if she's alright."
"Ronnie!" Glenda said, holding her back. "She needs some time."
"And I need some answers! Why did she wait seven months before telling me but tell that scumbag of a father of ours first?"
"I didn't."
Ronnie, Glenda, Peggy and Roxy all jumped as the vacant voice issued from the doorway. Danielle was standing by the door, wrapped in a dressing gown. Her blonde hair was clean and pushed back from her face, which was still covered in cuts.
"I didn't," she repeated. "He found out when he saw my locket."
"Why didn't you tell me before, Dani? Why didn't you say when you came to Albert Square?"
"Come and sit down, Danielle," Glenda said firmly, gesturing her over to an armchair. Danielle looked at her uncertainly then back at Ronnie, who smiled.
"It's alright, darling. This is your grandmother, my Mum."
Glenda smiled at her, who smiled shakily back before slowly going to sit in the armchair, tucking her legs underneath her. She looked right at her Mother. "I wanted to know what you were like before I told you."
"I bet you loved what you found," Ronnie said quietly. "I'm so sorry."
"I wanted to know that I wasn't wasting my time." She looked down and said; "but when Granddad found out, he told me that you didn't want me. And he was right, wasn't he?"
"What?" Ronnie said startled. "No, I –"
"You never did want me. That's why you gave me away like I was just some doll you can throw away."
"No!"
"I tried," she said, her eyes swimming with tears. "I tried to be nice, I tried to get close to you, but you didn't want to know!"
"Danielle –"
"Y – You always pushed me away no matter how hard I tried!"
"Danielle, listen to me, please!"
"I just wanted you to like me!"
"I do!"
"Yeah, you're only saying that now you know who I am. For these past two weeks, I've been hiding out at a grubby B&B in the middle of nowhere wondering why nobody wants me!" Danielle's face contorted; she stared bitterly at her mother and stood up. "But as you said, Mum, who'd want a daughter like me?" With everyone watching tearfully, she stormed from the room in tears.
Whatever I said, whatever I did I didn't mean it
I just want you back for good
Whenever I'm wrong just tell me the song and I'll sing it
You'll be right and understood
"Dani!" Getting up, Ronnie shook off Roxy's hold and rushing after her daughter, getting into the corridor in time to see her bedroom door slam shut. "Danielle!"
"Leave me alone!"
"Danielle!" She knocked lightly on the door. "Sweetie, please let me in." There was no answer and Ronnie slid to the floor, next to Danielle's bag and a pile of her clothes, wiping tears from her eyes. "Please!" She picked up the bag and emptied it, wondering what few items her daughter would have had in the world the past few weeks. The contents consisted of her mobile phone, chewing gum, an Ipod, hairbrush, some makeup and a diary with a pen. Ronnie picked up the diary and stared at the leather bound front. Here, in her hands held the key to her daughter's most intimate thoughts and feelings. Surely if she was going to get anywhere with her baby, it was just what she needed. Ronnie opened the diary and smiled at the graffiti covering the first few pages; typical of a teenage girl, all about boys. She flicked through until she found the first entry about her, posted on October the seventh
Not sure I can look Mrs Mitchell in the eye today. Could pull a sicky? Don't know if I can face it. Got to do something. I'm gonna tell Ronnie - Mrs Mitchell should know the truth. Just don't want anybody to get hurt. Better go, get it over with.
Why can't things just work out for once? Told Ronnie, but something went wrong. She came back from the Vic in a right state. Took it out on me. Shouted at me - said that I was just the cleaner and to back off. Then Mr Mitchell caught me and threatened me. Crying now. JUST THE CLEANER??? If you only knew
Biting her lip, Ronnie shook her head, trying not to cry again. Danielle had barely stepped foot into Albert Square and she was already being so horrible to her because she was apparently 'just the cleaner.' Danielle was right. If only she had known. The next entry was written on October the fourteenth.
Couldn't sleep last night. Like R's letter by my bed was haunting me. Maybe I should just put it back where I found it. Forget that all of this happened
Gave the letter to Mr Mitchell. Ronnie knew it was me that took it!! How could I have been so stupid?? Please, please don't hate me
I've ruined EVERYTHING. All those things that were said. The look in your eyes. How can your beautiful eyes look so cold? How can you look at me like that? So much contempt. Like you hate me. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. How stupid was I to think it'd be any different?
Her big mouth had pushed her beloved but unknown daughter away time and time again. By being so cold, so closed, so cruel, she'd managed to hurt Danielle more than was humanly possible. Ronnie let the tears flow this time, they fell onto the page, smudging her daughter's lovely handwriting. She flipped forwards, knowing she wouldn't like what was to come. And of course, she was right. The further forward she read, the more desperate and upsetting the entries became. Like the one written on the sixth of February. When she had the abortion.
Going to tell R today. Can't wait! Perhaps she'll even talk me out of taking the second pill
Got a call from Ronnie. She pulled out of the appointment AND also said that her life would have been BETTER off without me. Tried to hold back the tears, as Stacey was there.
IT'S ALL OVER. It wasn't the same being at Whiteland's with Stace. I just wanted Mum. But she's dead. They're both dead. Ronnie is dead to me now too. Can't stop crying.
Feel so sick. My tummy's in pieces and I'm all alone. It's like a wooden spoon is stirring my insides. Have I done the right thing? Head hurts. Not sure where to go. Wish I had my Mum. I just wish she cared. Need to be sick again.
She'd told Dot about her baby, Ronnie remembered. Why couldn't she have just said what she said to Dot to Danielle as well instead of calling her 'a mistake' and save her a whole load of heartache? The conversation stuck so well in her mind, Ronnie remembered. She'd been crying and Dot had been so nice.
"I had a baby when I was fourteen," she heard herself saying. "She was beautiful. Perfect. I remember her little hands, clutching onto my finger. She had tiny, little fingernails. I gave her away. See, I thought I'd be alright going to the abortion clinic yesterday with this girl. Actually I was fine. No I wasn't fine, but I managed. It's what she wanted to do. She's only a kid; she's got no money, no boyfriend. She's too young to be a Mum. But last night, I just couldn't get my baby out of my head. She'd be nearly twenty by now."
"I lost a baby once," Dot had confided.
"A miscarriage?"
"She'd be nearly fifty now. If she'd – been allowed to live. I think, sometimes, if you get under the skin of any woman, you'll find a baby story. Is she important to you, this girl?"
Ronnie remembered what her answer to that had been and forced the words across her mind "No. She's just someone who works for me."
"Yet you gave up all that time yesterday to be with her?"
"She seemed so alone."
Maybe it was because Danielle had reminded her so much of herself at that point in time that she'd felt compelled to go with her. But when it got too tough, she backed out, hurting her yet again. And just as she was going to tell her the truth, too. Then came the entry on March the twentieth which made her blood boil
Now Archie KNOWS! My Granddad! He held my arm so tight, as he tried to throw me out. It felt like a blood pressure gauge was tightening harder and harder. Pins and needles. Then he saw my locket. Finally, I could erupt all my anger at him after he saw MY Mum in the locket. The shock on his face was a picture I'll never forget. His mouth dropped. I don't remember much afterwards, but I shouted. Then he told me that R thought I was dead. No wonder she's so cold. He told me he was my Granddad though. I felt a glimmer of happiness. Then, MY Granddad told me not to tell R. He opened up and told me that she was on anti-depressants. He said she tried to commit suicide too! My Mum. ill. It could be genetic. Perhaps I'm depressed?! He said that I would push her over the edge if I told her I'm her daughter. Now what do I do? I love her.
He showed me to the door and there she was. R stood in front of me at the top of the stairs. Her cheeks held tears. My Mum is depressed. Perhaps I've made her even more ill. My Granddad said he'd ring me as I left. I headed back to the Slaters'. Stacey was cold to me. She just looked at me and then went upstairs. I can only wonder what tomorrow will bring. It's gone 11pm and I'm not tired. My mind is like a merry-go-round in a blurred horror movie scene
How dare he, she thought furiously. How dare he be such a cruel and heartless coward? First he told her Danielle was dead, then he spends months treating her like dirt and when he finally realizes the truth, instead of doing the decent thing, and tell her, Ronnie, that Danielle was her daughter, which he knows will make her happy, he makes out she has a mental problem and has tried to kill herself? The only person she wanted to kill was HIM! Through the next few entries, lines leapt out at Ronnie, which made her want to track down that bastard of a father and slit his throat, laughing as she did it.
Twenty-third of March
Felt down earlier after talking to Granddad. He said that he spoke to Mum about me. She said that she was relieved when she knew I was dead!
Twenty-seventh of March
Granddad was mean to me though when he walked in! He held my arm tight when he saw me and told me he still hadn't told Mum. Later, he told me to stay away again, but I'M NOT
Thirty-first of March
Granddad sat me down and told me how Mum doesn't want me. She gave him money to give to me too. must have been at least £200 to get rid of me. Is that all I'm worth? A few dirty notes? I just want my Mum. I want her love, not her hatred.
HOW DARE HE?! This time, Ronnie wanted to scream the words from the rooftops. She wanted to mutilate her father's body right in the view of everyone in Albert Square! She wanted him dead, she wanted to kill him with her bare hands! She never wanted to see him again! How could he do it? How could he make his own granddaughter feel like she could have a chance of being with her, with Ronnie, than make her feel as if she was worth absolutely nothing to her, bring her so low, then let her down when she finally decided to tell the truth. The last entry was the most heartbreaking. April the second.
Peggy and Granddad's wedding day! Today's the day Peggy becomes my Nan. If only I could be at the wedding too. If only Mum cared. I'm going to the Vic when they're all at the wedding. I'll sneak in and wait until they come back with Amy to put her to bed. I have to be with my cousin. she's all I have. Granddad tried to get rid of me, and Mum doesn't want me. she'd rather I was dead. I can't believe just how much I've cried since I've been in Walford. I'm surprised I have any tears left. I'm a Mitchell though, so I won't give up I'm going to wear my fave outfit. My white dress and yellow cardie, from the James Bond night. Spring is here and I was wearing it in my dream the other night, so it could be a sign can hear cars and cheers outside the Vic. Sounds like Peggy's off to the church. Soon they'll be married and Mum will know I'm her Amy. Cheers Mum!
I don't believe it. It went so wrong. Mum told me that Granddad didn't tell her anything. Not anything at all! He's such a liar - he tricked me to try and keep me away from her. She still didn't know I was hers. So I told her. I told her. I told her everything. It felt so good to say it, but it was awful too. She didn't believe me. No one believed me! I shouted. I screamed. I sobbed. Granddad practically threw me down the stairs. He's a liar, he's an evil liar! He's lied to Peggy, to Mum, to everyone. No one believed me. and the locket left in Mum's glass disappeared. Mum threw me out of the Vic. She said "Who'd want a daughter like you?" The words cut through me I'm devastated. My body aches, my face is blotchy and my throat's a lump. Mum's anger burned through me, as I lay on the cold concrete. I thought I found a friend in Stacey, as her blurred figure stood in the Square, but she was drunk. She didn't understand. She wasn't even listening. All I ever wanted was for Mum to look at me with love in her eyes. To call me her baby. To tell me she loved me. I have to leave now. I have to go back to Telford. Goodbye Walford
And we'll be together, this time is forever
We'll be fighting and forever we will be
So complete in our love
We will never be uncovered again
Determined, Ronnie stood up, clutching the diary. He'd ruined her whole life, but she wasn't going to let him ruin her relationship with Danielle. She knocked on the bedroom door again. "Danielle, please let me in."
"Go away!"
"Baby, please! I love you!"
"No you don't!" Danielle said shrilly. There was a sliding sound. She was leaning against the other side of the locked door. "You never wanted me! You wished you'd got rid of me!"
"Losing you was the worst thing that ever happened to me, Danielle! It cursed my whole life! I'm nothing without you!"
"You're just saying that! Who would want me?"
"I do! And so does Roxy and Peggy and your Gran. And Amy. She loves you, too." Ronnie pushed the door handle down. "Come on, open the door." She waited for a moment, listening carefully in the heavy silence – then there was the sound of a bolt being pulled across. Ronnie pushed at the door; it swung open to reveal Danielle sitting on the bed. Kneeling down in front of her, Ronnie pushed the hair tenderly back from her face.
"I'm so sorry I've hurt you so much baby," she said, placing the diary on the bed next to Danielle. The girl stared from the diary to Ronnie.
"You read it?"
"I needed to know what you were thinking, Dani. I'm your Mum, I really do love you!"
"All I wanted was to hear you say that."
"And I'll always mean it, too. You don't have to be alone anymore, sweetie. I'm here for you now." Ronnie held out her hand hopefully. "What d'ya say? Give me another chance? I'll never let you down again!"
"D'you promise?"
"Yeah," Ronnie said, holding out her other hand. "I'll do whatever it takes to have you with me!"
"I've been waiting for this moment! Waiting for it from the moment I saw you!"
"And now it's here." Ronnie smiled in relief as Danielle's hands, grasped her own. "Is that a yes, baby?"
In answer, Danielle threw her slim arms around her Mother's slender neck. Somehow, she couldn't stay angry, no matter how hurt she'd been by all the upset caused in the last seven months. The tears, tears of happiness came fast as they clung to each other, Roxy, Peggy and Glenda stood on the landing, smiling as they watched until Glenda came forwards and shut the door quietly. Mother and daughter were finally reunited. And they had nineteen years' worth of catching up to do. They were together as one.
Whatever I said, whatever I did I didn't mean it
I just want you back for good
Whenever I'm wrong just tell me the song and I'll sing it
You'll be right and understood
I guess now it's time, that you came back for good
THE END
