Chapter 7: Culling the School

Fishman Island: Palace Tower

Acheron was staring; he knew it and felt perfectly justified in doing so. After all, how many times in a person's life did they run across a member of the opposite sex that was several times their size? The girl was dressed only in the top half of a swim suit, like most of the other mermaids down here, and this was only significant to him because it showed off cleavage that he could literally use as a bed. On the same sort of topic, just looking at her made his eyes hurt because there was so much pink. She had pink hair that was done up with a pink, fish-shaped pin. Her tail, apart from the almost white fins, was a lighter shade of pink. It was just a bit much for him. As for her face, she looked drowsy, and rightfully so.

The giant mermaid's hands both rose up and rubbed at her eyes while she spoke in a hesitant, almost childish manner; "Uh, who, who's talking to me?" The moment her eyes opened though the girl surged away from him in as if burned. She was quiet; save the barely audible whimpering of someone so afraid they are beyond screaming. "Are, are you here to kill me?"

Thrown for a complete loop he immediately raised both of his hands in a gesture of harmlessness. "Whoa, no! Absolutely not! What kind of question is that?"

Apparently, raising his voice in indignation was also a very bad move because the girl looked further horrified and her lips started quivering, a telltale sign of something he absolutely hated. True to form, within seconds the giant mermaid started to cry, and that was about the most inaccurate term he could use while still getting it right. Tears the size of his head were pouring down the sides of her face so fast it was difficult to separate individual orbs, giving the impression of a waterfall rather than weeping. He felt his right eye start to twitch, emphasizing the agony the noise was causing him.

Soul Calibur chimed in, clearly not amused at all. "Wow, you really have a way with women. A little more and she'll be eating out of the palm of your hand."

He lowered his voice and hissed at the sword. "Now is not the right time for being a smart ass, okay? I'm trying to figure out how to deal with this mess."

The crystal blade replied at full volume. "Why, because this gigantic, royal baby can't handle someone simply raising their voice in her presence, someone so completely sheltered that she automatically assumes you are here to kill her? I say go along with it and do her in before she fills this whole tower with tears."

He tore the sword off of his back and stabbed the black shard of crystal into the floor in front of him. "Shut up! You're just making this whole thing worse by saying that!"

Whether it was right for his sword to say what she did or not was a purely academic question by now, and surprisingly on the mark. By now the small pit the mermaid was in was over half filled with tears, enough to drown him should he make a clumsy movement and fall in. So, he was trying to stop this nightmare of sound, both for the girl's sake and his own. He hated to say it, but it got to him that the mermaid was terrified of him for no reason at all. Well sure, there were plenty of existing reasons for her to be scared, but none that she could have been aware of unless she was a psychic. Hell, even if she knew all of them there was still no reason to be afraid of him. He never knowingly killed a woman in his life, well, unless he counted that pirate bitch that had snatched his coin purse after a mere ten minutes into this little misadventure, but he deigned to not count that one.

He glanced down at the water level, which had somehow risen to the lip of the small pit in the short length of time it took him to mull things over in his head, and muttered to himself. "Oh to hell with this."

He left Soul Calibur where she was and started to sprint for the back wall where the giant mermaid was cowering. The distance was short enough that he didn't consider using his devil fruit, but the instant he reached the mermaid's arm his ideas ran out.

Going for broke, he simply reached up and tapped on the girl's elbow. "Ah, could you stop? Please?"

Defying belief, and several rules of common sense, the mermaid stopped crying and looked down at him with a confused, semi-vacant look. "Stop what?"

He blinked a few times before he answered. "You seriously don't realize that you cried enough to fill that basin you're sitting in?"

The girl glanced down once, and then back towards him with something like guilt on her face, "Um, I'm sorry?"

He scratched the back of his neck in an effort to conceal his mounting confusion. "Uh, sure, no problem at all." He shook his head once to clear his mind. "Ok, serious question, why did you automatically jump to the conclusion that I was trying to kill you? Because I'm obviously not."

The mermaid stared down at her fingers while she contemplated his question. "Well, there is this man, Vander Decken the Ninth I think. He, um, he wants to marry me."

On the other side of the tower, Soul Calibur responded to this. "Marry her, a giant mermaid with the mind of a child? I don't know who's worse, you for being so stupid or him for being a pedophile."

He jumped in immediately, before the sword's insensitive remarks could set off another crying fit. "Ignore her, she has no idea what she's talking about." Even if he did silently agree with his sword's assessment of the "bad guy" in the equation it wouldn't do to encourage those kind of snide comments in this princess's clearly fragile presence. "So he wants to marry you, and shows his love by sending people to kill you? Please tell me that you see that for the insanity that it is."

The mermaid nodded her giant head enthusiastically. "Of course. I've tried to tell him over and over that he's not my type, but he won't listen to me." She looked around at the walls of the tower. "That's why, why daddy keeps me in here."

He looked towards the door, picturing the other side. "Yeah, I kind of figured that, what with all the axes and other sharp objects stuck in your door." A spark shot off in his brain as a brilliant idea came to him. "Say, this Vander Decken, I take it he and his crew are a huge problem for Fishman Island, right?"

What seemed to be a simple yes or no question required a moment of contemplation from the mermaid. "Um, I think I heard one of the guards talking about how he attacks anyone coming to or leaving the island, so I guess that would be a yes."

He smiled to himself as a plan started brewing in the cauldron of his brain. All he would need to do was exploit this pedophilic pirate's obsession for the giant mermaid and he could acquire a phenomenal amount of leverage over King Neptune. He would be the one that rid Fishman Island of a dangerous threat, and effectively saved the life of the king's daughter. Neptune would have no choice but to give him whatever aid he required. Without a second thought he started to dash for the door, slowing only long enough to snag Soul Calibur out of the floor.

The moment he set a hand on the door he heard the mermaid cry out behind him. "Wait, aren't you even going to tell me who you are?"

He hesitated for a few moments before turning around and pulling his helmet off. "The name is Acheron Killgore." He smiled, flashing his pearly white teeth a little, and shot the giant girl a wink. "Try and remember it, because I don't like having to repeat myself."

The mermaid nodded obediently. "Yes, yes sir I will." She crossed the tower chamber in less than half the time it had taken him. "And um, I'm Shirahoshi, if you wanted to know."

He formed his right hand into a fist, raised it, and stuck up his thumb. "I'll make sure to remember that when I'm out hunting down Vander Decken. After all, it is largely for your benefit."

For the first time that he had seen, a smile graced Shirahoshi's face, and that image stuck in his head as he pushed the door open and slipped out onto the massive balcony, the existence of which suddenly made a lot more sense. He momentarily considered how exactly he was going to find Decken. Not one of the castle guards, because he wanted his actions to be kept quiet until he had accomplished them, and not Neptune or the two advisors for the same reason. Now that he thought about it, just about anyone in the castle would generally be a bad idea.

Soul Calibur butted in on his thoughts. "What about one of the maids? They see or hear everything, and are most generally ignored, except by perverts like you of course."

The idea was good enough that he didn't even hear the insult, even if he had considered it an insult. "Perfect! I'll get a lead from one of the castle help, and then all I have to do is forge a convincing love letter from Shirahoshi to the pedo-pirate. It's a fool-proof plan!"

His enthusiasm was obviously not shared by his sword. "Speaking of which, why exactly devise such an elaborate plan for the benefit of that air-headed mermaid princess?"

He used a portal to return to the exact spot where he had been prior to his infiltration of the tower. "Ah, it's not. This plot is designed to light a fire under Neptune's ass when it comes to aiding me take Impel Down. I just said that to Shirahoshi to calm her down, and maybe give the girl a little piece of mind."

Soul Calibur did not seem convinced. "You do recall that I can see what's going on inside your head, so just maybe I know a little bit more about your motivations than you do."

He leaned back against the wall as if nothing had happened, and let out a short laugh. "Ok, if you know so much, why don't you explain my hidden motivations to me? And it had better be good."

The sword moved her reply into the confines of his head, probably in response to the guards walking, or floating, by. "That's easy, you like her, and I cannot for the life of me even begin to wonder why. I mean she's an idiot, she's overlarge, she's… ugh."

He glanced to the left, towards the throne room, and saw someone approaching him, so he attempted to wrap up the conversation. "I'm going to assume that the 'ugh' is because you can't think of anything else to hold against her. More importantly though, even if you were right and I'm secretly doing this as part of a plot to win her over, why would you care? Seriously, if I didn't know better I might start thinking that you wanted me to start loving you of all people, and that this was jealously talking."

Soul Calibur had nothing to say back to that, and the emissary got to him and rendered the conversation over anyway. The fish-man bowed to a respectable depth and spoke. "His highness would like to thank you for your patience thus far, and would ask of you a little more time. He has the fate of the kingdom to consider and-"

He waved the speaker silent and countered. "Whatever, it works out well for both of us anyway. I just remembered that I have a very pressing errand that I have to run elsewhere." He started to walk away, paused, and turned back towards the emissary. "And this time, when I'm coming back, make sure that the gatekeepers know to let me through without a fuss. Wouldn't want any of them to get disemboweled by a wild swing now, would we?"

The fish-man swallowed a lump of fear and nodded silently and he could have sworn that, as he was walking away, he could hear the emissary quivering. On the roundabout route he was taking towards the exit he glanced down one of the hallways and caught sight of what seemed to be the universal maid outfit, said outfit made all the tastier by the large, feminine derriere turned his way. Of course he was looking at a mermaid, but compared to the ones he had dealt with in the Evernight Reef every one he had seen so far had nothing short of a divine figure, and yes, he supposed that included Shirahoshi. Focusing on the present though, he had his maid in sight.

He smirked and opened a portal in the air next to him, sidestepping through it to appear about five feet in front of the maid. "Hello gorgeous, spare a minute?"

Understandably the mermaid let out a small shriek and dropped the tray she was carrying, threatening to spill what looked like a five course meal across the carpet. In less time than it took to blink he had crouched, delicately caught the tray without spilling a drop of anything, and risen back to his full height as if nothing awkward at all had happened. In this moment, he also took in the picture of the maid herself, aside from the standard frilly apron. She had red hair to match the red scales that covered her tail, long wavy locks of it that fell to about half way down her back. There was a small birthmark on the lower side of her left check shaped, amusingly, like a heart. She had blue eyes, the color of shallow sea-water in fact. And the fabric of her apron bulged tauntingly around her cleavage. Quite the catch if he might say so.

He set the tray down on a conveniently placed end table and smiled at the maid. Even if she couldn't see his face the effect was going to carry. "Just a simple question and I'll let you get on your way, alright?"

The red-haired mermaid was still obviously a bit shaken up, but nodded her head and spoke in what he thought to be a fairly interesting accent. "Ah, oui, what is it that you wish to know?"

He tried to focus on his original purpose and succeeded marginally. "Say that I was looking for a certain member of a certain pirate crew, where would I go if I wanted to find them?"

The maid didn't even pause to think. "You would want to go to the Mermaid Cafe. All the sailors that come and go from the island strive to get in to the place. Just to be fair Madam Shyarly lets in a few from each crew. So if your ship is in port, you'll find someone." She bit her lip and shot a glance over her shoulder. "When you get to the door, tell the girl who works there that Yvette vouches for you."

Professional job over, his smile warped into a lecherous smirk. "I take it that you're Yvette then. To what do I owe the personal letter of recommendation?"

The red-head flashed him a saucy grin of her own, showing off a set of perfect teeth. "Ah bon, your powers of common sense set you far apart from those worthless soldiers. Oui, I am Yvette, I worked at the Café for some time before I took this job in the palace. I suppose at the time I was a little in awe of the idea of serving royalty, but now I grow weary of this droll duty." Yvette shrugged once and continued. "As to why you get my support, let me just say that it felt good to be noticed again by a fine man like you. A lady has her needs and wants after all."

Thusly encouraged, he leaned in close enough to whisper and let his hands fall to the mermaid's hips. "If that's the case, why don't I come back after I finish my little errand and see if I can fulfill some of those 'needs and wants."

Yvette took in a sharp breath of air when his right hand dipped a little further south to cup her ample rear end. "So bold, how could I refuse such an offer in good conscience?"

He let go of the mermaid and took two steps backwards. "Then I'll see you after I kill a certain pirate captain. Don't go getting yourself lost till then, alright?"

The red-headed maid smiled at him as she picked up her tray and moved on. He turned his head slowly as she walked by, just enough to keep Yvette's ass in view till she turned a corner ahead. He then smartly turned on his heel and marched right on out the front gates of the palace.

As soon as he was out of earshot of the gate guards he pumped his fist in triumph and chuckled to himself. "Heh, chalk up another one for me."

His sword reacted immediately to this proclamation. "Ugh, again I say it, pervert."

He immediately corrected the blade. "Wrong, if I were a pervert I would just stand around gawking at every woman that caught my eye. I am a womanizer, a philanderer, a scoundrel, a thief of hearts, etcetera. I've never met a woman that I couldn't bed if I felt like it."

A short moment passed before Soul Calibur continued. "I know I'm probably going to greatly regret this, but exactly how many women are you talking about?"

He had to stop and think about that for a second. "Well, I'm pretty sure Kelda was my first, real fiery one that girl. Then there was Juno, which I have mentioned before in passing. Then, well there were several elven girls at the Evernight Resort that I dabbled with. And then of course there was Queen Fay-"

The sword interrupted him, clearly quite exasperated. "I get the picture. Ugh, why couldn't I just leave well enough alone?"

He chuckled and kept walking. "I'm going to assume that was a rhetorical question."

Fishman Island: Mermaid Bar

Acheron sat silently at a table in the corner of the brightly lit, cheerful interior of the bar. And he could see quite clearly why this place was the most desired location for any world weary pirate, every single one of the waitresses were drop-dead beautiful. He wasn't sure if this place was a secret brothel, but it easily had the potential to be. On a different note, as much as it pained him to pull his mind away from the subject of beautiful women, he could easily spot several groups of likely targets, individual groups of pirates that looked rough enough to be serving under an enemy of the state. They were all fish-men though, which made it almost impossible for him to differentiate between them except by color. He had a particular interest in one group of three that, like him, were sticking to one of the corner tables and keeping largely out of the way. That sort of behavior was generally considered suspicious to any rational person.

He flagged one of the waitresses over, fighting the urge to let his eyes drop to her chest all the while. "Excuse me, but I was wondering if you could find out which of the men in here serve under Captain Vander Decken the Ninth."

The waitress smiled blankly at him. "I'm sorry sir, but I'm not supposed to-"

He held up a hand and silenced the young mermaid. "There is a hefty tip waiting for you if you do." With a twitch of his wrist he flipped a bag of gold the size of his clenched fist up onto the table. "If that's not enough I'm willing to double it, but no more."

There was a moment of stunned silence in which he was sure the waitress was seriously considering his offer. The spark of conflict in her eyes between greed and professional pride was clearly there, but before he could see the resolution of it the girl moved away from him and vanished through a door at the back of the Café.

Soul Calibur's smarmy tone sliced through his ears. "You should have tried seducing her instead, seems that's all you're really good at."

He started to shoot back, "Well, if I thought it would have gotten me where I…" He trailed off as another mermaid slid into the booth on the opposite side of his table, one with black hair and a distinctive gothic appearance. "Ok then, who the hell are you?"

The mermaid was flatly glaring at him. "I am Madam Shyarly, and I don't appreciate it when people try to bribe any of my girls."

Only two words registered with him, and they caused the corners of his mouth to twitch upwards. "Sorry, I heard 'Madam Shyarly' and nothing else. Good though, that I finally know this place is an actual brothel. Wish I had known sooner and I could have dispensed with the polite approach."

Shyarly's glare turned to a look of outrage. "This is not a brothel, you hooligan!"

He raised his hands in mock surrender. "Well excuse me, but where I come from the only people with a formal title of 'Madam' are the women who run fucking brothels." As his mind caught up with his mouth he chuckled a little. "Heh, 'fucking brothels.' That's actually a pretty redundant thing to say. Like 'eating kitchen' or 'shitting toilet."

Shyarly's voice was quivering with anger, just a hair below blowing into a full scale scream. "For the last time, this is not a brothel and my girls are not up for sale."

It was just now that he noticed Shyarly was on a two-to-one scale with him when it came to size, and could easily tower over him if she unfurled her tail. Also, in a slightly jarring observation, he noticed that the teeth he could see through her parted lips were pointed, like those of a violent predator. It wasn't scary per se, but it did make the prospect of tongue-in-cheek interaction a bit less attractive. Either way though, the other patrons were starting to furtively glance over towards his table and the pirates were getting antsy. If he didn't defuse Shyarly quickly, they were all liable to bolt and he would miss out on a great opportunity to gain an insurmountable edge in dealing with old King Neptune.

Moving with deft precision of an athlete despite the awkwardness of the maneuver he stood and swung himself around the edge of the booth to bump Shyarly's larger form further towards the wall, eliciting a startled gasp from the large mermaid. "What, what are you doing?"

He reached up and seized Shyarly's left wrist and brought it down to the table despite a token resistance. "Let me make this perfectly clear lady, I'm here to achieve a certain purpose. Now, once that purpose is done I can leave and get out of your hair, at least for now." He placed his free hand over the woman's hand and idly traced his finger across the back, noting the slight shivers his actions sent shooting up Shyarly's arm. "So, why don't you just point me towards Vander Decken's crew and you can get on with your day without any further distractions?" He felt the corner of his mouth twitch upwards and he applied a very light shock of magic to the Madam's flesh that instantly brought a flush to Shyarly's pale cheeks. "Because make no mistake, I will get you to talk, one way or the other. Granted you'd probably enjoy my backup plan a whole lot more, but I'm in a hurry."

He saw the tiny glint of submission in her eyes before the Madam spoke, so he knew she was telling him the truth. "The trio of young gentlemen at that table by the front door. They serve on the Flying Dutchman; they can take you to Decken."

A glance over his shoulder confirmed the rather unexpected selection of clientele, before he planted a light kiss on the back of Shyarly's hand. "Much obliged, Madam."

The woman snatched her and away with a derisive sniff. "Now I know you're mocking me. And you have what you came for, so please do as you said you would and leave."

As he stood, Soul Calibur of course felt the need to comment. "What was that you said about being able to take any woman you wanted to bed? Because that one quite clearly didn't want you."

He answered within the confines of his mind, keeping his private affairs private. "Yeah, well, no big deal. Her tastes probably just run in the other direction, that's all it is."

The sword didn't let the issue drop as he approached the other table. "What do you mean, 'her tastes run the other way'? Does she like vegetables or something as opposed to what her teeth seemed suited for?"

He froze mid-stride, put on the spot as he was and completely lacking the terminology to explain the concept of lesbians to a naïve sword. "Ah, well, I'll get back to you on that one." He recovered his aplomb with a breath and finished the transition to the other table. "Gentlemen, fine evening isn't it?"

There were three fish-men at the table, two of which were being complete party animals and were paying him no mind at all. The third, a burly green fellow that outweighed the other two combined by at least half again, affixed him with a withering glare that would have sent lesser men fleeing for their lives. This man was adorned with so many scars and tattoos that it was more like looking at a walking art gallery than a person.

The burly fish-man spoke to him in a low, threatening drawl. "Keep moving if you don't want a bullet between your eyes."

He held up his hands and fell back on the lines he had practiced in his head all the way here from the Palace. "Don't you think your captain would be rather pissed off if he happened to learn that you shot the messenger delivering a letter from the Princess?"

At these words all three of the fish-men, even the pair of drunken partiers, stopped dead and fixed him with the most disbelieving stare he had ever seen. Clearly, this kind of thing was a bit further outside the realm of possibility than he had anticipated, but at this point he really didn't have a choice but to plow through and see the ruse through to the conclusion.

The green fish-man held up a hand and made the universal "give me" gesture. "Let me see that letter."

He pulled a small envelope from his belt and presented it, but did not hand it over. "You do understand that I can't do that. I'm under strict orders to put this thing right in Captain Decken's hands before the seal gets broken." He gestured to the red wax that held the folds together to emphasize his point. "Besides, the guy doesn't sound like the kind that would take too kindly to someone reading his private correspondence before he did."

The burly pirate bit his lip, clearly trying very hard to find a flaw in the presented argument that would allow him to return to his drinking in peace. "That letter doesn't look like Shirahoshi wrote it."

He made a show of rolling his eyes for dramatic effect. "Of course not, if the princess wrote this I'd need an envelope the size of a ship's sail to hold it. She dictated it for the convenience of all involved, mine, yours, Decken's." A smile spread across his face as he finished his improvised lie. "She seems like quite the self-sacrificing type, doesn't she?"

With a snarl the fish-man chugged the rest of his drink and stood up, beckoning the other two as he did so. "Alright damn it, you win. We'll take you to the Captain. But this letter of yours had better be genuine, otherwise that bullet offer still stands."

As he calmly followed the group of pirates, a confident swagger in his steps, Soul Calibur spoke in his head again. "Wow, that was impressive. Even though I'm not quite sure what it is that I'm impressed by."

He responded in kind so his guides didn't overhear. "Easy, it's called the art of bullshit. Something I find myself uniquely gifted in, among other things."

Fishman Island: The Flying Dutchman

Acheron wasn't sure what to expect upon hearing the name of the ship he was being rowed out towards, The Flying Dutchman, but he certainly hadn't been expecting the name to be actually descriptive of the vessel. The ship was floating above the water at least as high as the mast of a regular frigate, and the only way up that he could see was a simple rope ladder that was rolling down as he approached. As for the Dutchman itself it looked rather ragged, like the planks were literally falling apart from spending far too much time in the water without getting scrubbed. The sails looked barely functional as the amount of holes in them would make most ship captains far too ashamed to show up anywhere. Granted, the flying part was undeniably cool, but that coolness only went so far. Well, that and the entire ship was bloody enormous, so big that he imagined that one couldn't see one end if standing at the other.

His burly green escort gestured up the rickety ladder. "You first, so no funny business."

He did as ordered and started up the ladder, noticing by the extra swaying when his escorts/guides started up behind him. He wasn't afraid of heights, but being on something this unsteady would put anyone on high alert for even the tiniest creak in the rope, or in the wood holding it up. Hell, he had seen twine in better shape than this ratty old thing. Bitching and moaning aside though, he made it to the top without falling from either personal or object failure. However, he lingered with his hands wrapped around the posts on the starboard guard rails, noting the again ratty shape of the pegs holding the rope ladder on.

A pirate on the deck barked at him. "Get your ass on board you lazy ingrate."

With a sharp heave he pulled himself up, chattering as he did so. "Relax buddy, I just needed a second to catch my breath. That's a long climb in case you hadn't noticed."

As he pulled his second foot up he stomped hard on the right peg holding the ladder up. The fragile wood couldn't take the impact and shattered, putting all the weight of the three fish-men on the one remaining strand. Needless to say, that strand couldn't handle the burden and snapped heartbeats later. The surprised screams of the doomed men echoed on until the disgustingly loud sound of them meeting their sudden deaths upon the water.

A couple of the pirates onboard rushed to the edge, looking over in mortified curiosity. One voiced a thought they all seemed to be thinking. "Damn it, I knew we should have replaced that thing sooner!"

He was forced to bite his lip in order to keep himself from bursting out in raucous laughter. If they only knew that it was all on him to account for those three piece-meal deaths.

One pirate, a blue skinned brute even bigger than the one that had marched him here, turned towards him accusingly. "You, what were they bringing you all the way out here for?"

He shrugged, remained calm, and flashed the envelope containing his forged letter. "I don't know, might have had something to do with this personal letter for your Captain Decken from Princess Shirahoshi-"

An excited, if slightly bizarre peal of laughter broke in on his practiced line. "Bahahaha, I think she has finally accepted, finally given in to the love we share for each other!"

The beige, four-legged fish-man with a goatee springing along the deck towards him could only be one person, Vander Decken the Ninth. And the fish-man was completely fuck-ugly, especially when compared to his glorious personage.

Soul Calibur must have "heard" his thought because she responded as if he had spoken out loud. "Ugh, how utterly arrogant can you be?"

He whispered, full knowing that she would hear him even if no one else on deck could. "You know it's the truth."

The sword might have said something back, but whatever reply she might have made was drowned out by the rambling Vander Decken. "Oh I'll need to start sending out those wedding invitations I wrote years ago and then we can-"

He interrupted the fish-man captain, under the assumption that if he didn't Decken would never stop talking. "Hey! Are you even going to read the damn thing before you start waxing dopey love songs?"

Vander Decken clapped enthusiastically like a child, before crossing his arms in front of him and flashing two "victory" signs at him from either hand. "Then I think you should give it here, my darling love letter!"

With a silent shudder he brought his right wrist up and sent the paper envelope on its way with a deft flick, shooting it down so that its natural tendency to rise would be balanced out. His aim was so good that Decken barely had to twitch a finger to catch the forged document.

The four-legged captain tore at the letter with unabated gusto, pulling out the slip of paper and holding it high over his head. "Shirahoshi writes me this most eloquent of letters, finally professing her love to me! It says…" The ship fell silent, waiting for Vander Decken the Ninth to read aloud the two words he had penned to the document. "…Fuck you."

He smiled and took the single step he needed to take to close to melee range with his target. "Couldn't have said it better myself, jackass."

In one smooth motion he lifted his hand up to his shoulder and drew Soul Calibur, bringing her down as part of the same movement that drew her edge right through the vertical middle of Vander Decken's shocked face. For the sake of style, he kept cutting, bringing his arm around in a full loop that had his sword flinging up chunks of the Dutchman's deck as she chewed through that to complete the rotation.

With Soul Calibur propped up on his shoulder he turned on his heel to address the rest of the Flying Pirates. "Now, if you would all just form an orderly queue so I can get this dull part over with. I have a very fine piece of ass waiting for me once I'm done killing all of you…" He brought his sword around to the front in a ready stance. "And I really hate to keep a lady waiting."