DISCLAIMER: no.
This chapter's title isn't very accurate. . . It should probably be called something like "That Big Reveal You've All Been Waiting For." Hint hint.
Chapter Seven: Fights and Secrets
Lately I been, I been losing sleep
Dreaming 'bout the things that we could be
But baby, I been, I been prayin' hard
Said no more counting dollars
We'll be counting stars
—OneRepublic, "Counting Stars"
I woke up with a gasp, burying my face deeper into a shoulder, the person's arm wrapped snugly around my waist. And then it hit me.
What. The. Hell?!
I scrambled backwards, smashed my back into something, and settled for putting a few feet between me and the person I'd fallen asleep on, which would happen to be. . . Will. My face heated up, even though I knew it was stupid of me to blush. Luckily, he wasn't up yet. . . good.
But why had I fallen asleep with Will in the first place? I searched through the previous day, trying to remember, and. . .
Well, crap. The "thing" that I'd been so determined to go to. And it turned out to be one big effing party that I hadn't even found out anything about! I wanted to scream in frustration until a new tidal wave of memories hit me. Ella. Crap, crap, crap. Will and I were looking for her after nearly losing it to the alcohol and drugs in the room, and we only left because. . .
Jace.
Jace and Kaelie.
Right.
I'd actually forgotten about that for one ignorance-is-bliss moment. The burning pressure of tears reminded me that I was two things: a) stupid and b) even stupider for wanting to cry about it. There were a billion things more important than my petty problems— like Ella.
Ella. Oh God.
I whipped around to face the bed she was on, and. . .
God damn it. She wasn't there! And I couldn't help it— I panicked. I turned to Will, who was still sleeping, and shook him gently.
His eyelashes fluttered until the blue of his eyes were glaring at me. "The hell, Clary?" Will snapped, his voice thick with sleep.
"Sorry to disturb your beauty sleep," I replied acidly. I could already feel my heart racing faster with fear. Where had Ella gone? What if she'd gone and gotten more drugs? The thought sent anxiety shuddering through my bones. "But in case you haven't noticed, William, Ella's gone."
Will's eyes shot wide open. "What?!" He whirled around, staring at the empty bed behind him. For the first time, he looked frightened. "Clary, Ella has. . . problems. That's the best way to explain it, I guess. When her problems resurface, she goes off and. . ." Will trailed off, but I got the message crystal-clear. So Ella was probably off doing more drugs.
"Do you know where she is, Will? We have to go find her!"
Will was shaking his head. "Clary—"
"Will. Are you mad? This is your sister we're talking about!"
Will's face held a depth of pain I couldn't fathom. He opened his mouth, closed it, and was silent for a minute before he spoke. When he did speak, he sounded a million years older. "Clary, listen to me. I know that, and I care deeply about Ella. I've never been so worried for her in my life. But the thing is, when Ella doesn't want to be found, she can't be found. And it's a school day."
I choked. This day sucked ass. So Ella, who was probably one of my best friends, was missing and I was ten minutes shy of being late to my first period class. "Oh, my God. Are you kidding me?"
Will looked steadily back at me, although I could see the worry flickering in and out of him like sound vibrations in the air. "It's Tuesday."
One word filled my mind and my mouth. It was a word I didn't like to think about— it was four letters long and started with a f. Three guesses for the mystery word of the day. Or probably of the week. Or it was even more likely that it'd be for the rest of the freaking year.
I was cursing fluently as I threw random articles of clothing out on my bed, already dragging a brush through my hair.
"As much as I don't mind a little skin," smirked Will, "I should get going. See you, Clary."
I waved to Will as he let himself out, shutting the door behind him. Just like that, Decent Will was gone and Obnoxious Will was back. I sighed as I finished getting dressed. I knew my clothes didn't match, that I'd forgotten my homework for today probably, and that my hairstyle was called "And I Didn't Brush My Teeth Either", but I didn't really care. At least I thought I didn't until I walked into my first period class, AP Chemistry.
Have you ever styled this outfit you thought was incredibly cute, but then the second you get to school, the first thought in your mind is, Why did I think this was a good idea again?
That's how I sort of felt. Except in my case, it didn't involve a cute outfit or even a semi-cute one. When I set foot in that bloody classroom, I could hear the titters from my classmates— except for Jem and Cecily, who shot my sympathetic looks. I went to sit in my seat, except Jessamine was already sitting there. So I stood there like an idiot until the teacher, Mr. Malachi, cleared his throat loudly and conspicuously.
He glared at me. "So nice of you to join us today, Miss Morgenstern."
"Thanks," I snapped back sourly. I knew that it was bad news to talk back to teachers, but Malachi was a dick and I'd had enough today already. . . And it was only 7:55 in the morning.
Malachi's mouth thinned. "You sit right there, Miss Morgenstern." He pointed quickly to the seat next to Jem. It was also right behind Jessamine. Crap.
I tried to smooth down the rat's nest living on my head as I went down the aisle between the rows of desks. Jessamine stuck her foot out and I kicked her in the shin. Hard. I heard her yelp in pain, and I knew I was going to pay for that later, but I couldn't find the energy to give a crap.
I sat down in my seat and Jem whispered, "What happened?"
I made sure Malachi had started talking— droning is more like it— to reply. "I'll tell you later. Lunch, okay?"
Jem nodded and turned his attention back to Malachi. Although he didn't really need to— Jem's notes were perfect. I bet he was smarter than Malachi himself.
I tried to take notes, but I couldn't bring myself to concentrate. Sorry, Malachi, but I think Ella is more important than whether I scrawl down every single word you say. Would Ella be okay? What if something. . . happened? I got the feeling that when Ella did drugs, she never really considered the consequences of her actions. I knew the feeling— like you were in a dream, so whatever you did couldn't possibly have any repercussions.
The whole class was spent by Malachi droning on about some kind of lab we were going to do soon, which I gladly ignored. I hated labs. I mean, I liked science, but nothing I was ever interested in was studied in high school science classes. I was doodling random little things on my paper— my symbols— and the majority of the class was on their phones, texting or social media-ing up a storm. Jem was drawing music notes on a staff on the back of his paper, and across the room, Cecily was messing around with her nails and ignoring Camille, who sat next to her.
The bell rang, and I nearly jumped out of my seat– I'd been that far away in la-la land. I was about to ask Cecily what Malachi had covered in the first twenty minutes or so of class I wasn't there for, but Jessamine cornered me first.
"Hey, Clarissa, can I speak to you?" Jessamine's voice was sickly sweet. Barf. Gritting my teeth, I turned around slowly to face the blonde girl.
"What do you want, Jessamine?" I spat from between my teeth.
"I wanted to talk to you about your little stunt in class." Jessamine's voice had taken on a poisonous tone. Part of me was telling me to run like hell was on my heels, but the other part wanted to stay and fight. So I stayed.
"My little 'stunt'?" I laughed shortly.
"I'll let you know that no one can get away with anything like that, you bitch," sneered Jessamine.
I knew I should've been used to being called a bitch, considering all the things that happened at my old school— which I'd sorta-kinda-not really repressed— but the name still stung a little. I shrugged. "Takes one to know one, Jessamine."
Jessamine leaned closer to me and I found myself taking an unconscious step back. "You think you know everything, don't you, bitch?" The emphasis stung like a slap across the face. I looked around for a friendly face, and saw no one in the small crowd that was watching.
"Do you really want me to answer that?"
Jessamine smirked. "God, you're stupid, Clarissa. You don't know the way things work around here. But don't worry, we'll show you soon enough. Maybe you'll be forgiven once you learn your place here at Idris High— which is at my feet."
I snapped. My strained self-control on my hefty temper rebounded in on myself, and I literally saw red around the edges of my vision. I tried to stop the words from coming out of my mouth, by it was like my brain had been cut off from the rest of my body. From far away, I hear myself laugh mirthlessly. "Jessamine, who do you think you are? You— and all the rest of your robotic minions— think you're so clever, don't you, but in reality, you all act like little bitchy girls who whine and complain because they believe they're entitled to everything. What monster brought you up? Pull your head out of your fricking ass and wake up. It's not that hard for most of us, since we have brains. But, oh wait, I forgot— you don't have a brain. That's right." I heard all the words spew out in a decidedly malicious tone, and knew I was being horrible, but I couldn't stop. My temper and my "way with words" as my mother called it had gotten me into more trouble than I could count. And now it was about to get me into trouble again.
Jessamine jerked backwards. I could see a slight tinge of hurt and a whole lot of anger fill up her face. "Do you know who you're even speaking to?"
"See, there she goes again," I said coldly, addressing the growing crowd of spectators. Stop it, Clary, stop it! I pleaded with myself, but the words wouldn't stop. "What an asshole. Isn't she?"
Okay, it was definitely hurt in Jessamine's face this time. And I didn't know why, but it was oddly satisfying. That thought alone scared me to no end. But. . . I couldn't stop.
My voice took a turn for the worst from cold to cruel. "Hurts, doesn't it, Jessie? Are you going to start crying? No, wait, I can just see the story the next day at school: Clary Verbally Beats Up the School Slut, Jessamine! I dare you to tell everyone that. But make sure to tell them how you and your bitches have been tormenting me first. What a—"
I felt my mind slip slowly back into its place and I snapped my jaw together, abruptly frozen and absolutely horrified at myself. What had I said? And what I had I done?
I took a quick glance around the cloud of bystanders. Some of them had their mouths gaping open. Others looked delighted. And Camille and Kaelie looked absolutely pissed.
My eyes turned back to Jessamine, who was staring at me.
"I. . ." My voice cracked humiliatingly. For once in my life, I didn't know what to say. It was like my mind had been wiped blank; as clean as a slate. My next breath came out in a hard rush. "I have to get out of here."
And then, under the scrutiny of seemingly the whole school, I turned and fled.
Ella's not the only one who has "problems."
I didn't know where I was running. All I knew was that I wanted out of there. Suddenly, it had all seemed like too much— the students closing in on Jessamine and me gave me a swift sense of claustrophobia. Not to mention I felt horrible for what I'd said to Jessamine. But at the same time, part of me didn't regret it at all.
I sat underneath the shade of a large tree in a remote part of the grounds. It was a weeping willow— a crying tree. How ironic. The good thing was that the branches curved down and around me so no one could really see me. Which was perfect, because no way in hell did I ever want to be found now. The bad things were that I was cutting class, so that would probably result in a nice little detention for me (and then a very Valentine sort of explosion) and that red hair makes, in no way, a good camouflage, so screw me.
I squinted at the very few students that did choose to mill around my secret hiding spot. Maia and Isabelle wandered through the area, Isabelle's heels clacking on the slender strip of stone path that weaved through the center of it all. Then I saw Jem and Tessa a few minutes later, their hands linked together. I smiled in spite of myself; they were just too darn cute together.
The last people I saw before the next class started up were Jace and Jonathan. I stiffened in my tree as one of them looked my way. An image flashed into my mind: the eye on Jonathan's hand. I'd forgotten about that too, but if I narrowed in on his swinging hand, I could see a bold black mark on it. I was dying to know what that rune thingy meant. Maybe Ella would know. No, she knew. Besides. . . wasn't she one of them? The only thing about Ella is that she'd only tell you stuff like that when she was either high or drunk. When she was completely sober, Ella wouldn't dare say a word about any of this sinister "Shadowhunter" business.
Once Ella turns up, I'll ask her about it, I promised, then froze again. But. . . didn't she already tell me?
She did. She did tell me, and it was when she was high, that time at Izzy's party. I could practically see the damn scene playing out before my eyes: Me, asking Ella who the Shadowhunters were. And then her answer: The Shadowhunters are us. And then how freaked out I felt. And then. . .
"Oh, my God," I whispered to myself. "Oh my God."
I knew exactly what the rune was and what it meant. After all, Ella had told me herself.
"We're all Shadowhunters." She thrust her left hand at me. "You're a Shadowhunter if you have this."
I stared at the back of her hand. Inked onto it was a bold, ebony eye.
And Jon had one now. So did that mean. . . ?
I caught myself nodding to my thoughts in absolute horror. So Jon was one of them. And hadn't Will said, on the conversation I eavesdropped on in the common room, that the Shadowhunters were the "bad kids"? I wasn't sure what that meant, but hell, was I ever going to find out.
"I can't believe Clary actually came," Jon muttered, and I freaked completely. I hadn't realized that Jon and Jace had moved off the beaten path and were coming right towards the tree. The very same tree that I was practically a sitting duck (No pun intended) under. They were going to come and sit under the tree. I had to get the hell out of here. Now.
Or did I? I didn't really have to desert my comfortable location, just stay out of their sight. . . Right?
I quickly stood up as quietly as I could manage. I had to think of something fast, because Jon and Jace were coming closer and closer and I was still standing there like a statue. It was a wonder they hadn't caught me yet, considering my hair looked like someone had set my head on fire.
As they approached one of the branches, I darted around to the back of the tree. Think Clary, think! Today was not going to be the day where Jon and Jace caught me listening in as they carried out their conversation. Not only would Jon take on his murderous qualities, but I'd lose all trust they had in me, let alone any. And then it'd spread through the grapevine and I'd find myself back at stage one with no answers at all.
Then what I could do occurred to me and I wanted to hit myself over the head very hard. I was right under a freaking tree. And you can climb trees. Good God. Jon and Jace were almost under the tree, still talking, so from the opposite side that they were on, I reached for the lowest branch. I tried to silently swing myself up on it, but instead managed to stab myself in the stomach with another branch and found myself rolling like a sloth on the branch I was trying to sit on. The perks of being five-foot-nothing right here.
Sloth Grip Roll to avoid Bludgers, I found myself thinking and almost laughed out loud. Too bad I didn't have a Firebolt like Harry so I could get the hell out of here. This was not the time to be making jokes to myself, which proved my lack of a social life. It was especially not the time to laugh or make any noise considering that Jon and Jace were right on the other side of the tree.
". . . so apprehensive about your sister going, anyways?" I heard from Jace as I tuned into their conversation. At the same time, I heard the branch I was clinging to give a little creak as I rotated myself to a sitting position. Did Jon and Jace hear that? If so, I was dead with a capital D.
The branch creaked again. Shut the hell up, you blasted tree, I wanted to snarl at it. As I stood on it, preparing to climb up a bit higher, it creaked yet again.
"What. . . is that noise?" Jon muttered. Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit. I was cursing like there was no tomorrow in my head as I quickly heaved myself up to the next branch.
"Just answer the question, Jonathan," Jace sighed, and I relaxed slightly now that I was higher up. "It's not like she did any harm, from what I gathered. Besides, the ceremony went on before the actual party itself."
They had to be kidding.
No, they weren't kidding, dammit! So I had missed the good stuff that led to answers and ran into all the bad stuff because I thought the answers were going to be at the party?! (If that makes any sense.) I wanted to scream. No, I wanted to jump down from the tree and scare the bullcrap out of both of them by telling them that I knew what they were trying to hide from me. (I knew about half of it, but. . . pssssh, technicalities.)
Unfortunately, I couldn't scream or frighten Jon and Jace at the moment. I had to stay put and figure out what they were talking about.
"I want Clary to stay out of all this," Jonathan said firmly. He sounded weary. "I don't care if our parents are very closely tied into the Shadow World or if they were but left or whatever batshit happened. Clary must stay out of this."
"Jon, that's not realistic. At all. You know that, right? That Clary's going to get involved." Jace sounded just as exhausted as Jon did. What had they been doing that was making them so tired?
"I don't care if it's not realistic," Jon snapped. "Clary is not getting involved. End of story."
"Look, dude. . . She's already gotten involved. We have to tell her at some point, because Clary's already snooping around for answers. What happens if someone feeds her the wrong information? Not to mention, she doesn't know how to protect herself or who to protect herself from."
Protect myself? What. . . ?
It sounded like Jon had slid down the tree trunk. I hovered on my branch in anticipation of what he was going to say.
"Fine," Jon relented. He didn't sound nearly as weary any longer. "But I don't want you telling her."
"Why not?" Jace sounded bewildered, as though there was no reason in the universe that had ever occurred to him of why he shouldn't be the one to tell me.
I don't care who tells me, dammit! Just someone do it! I wanted to yell at them. Why the frick did it even matter who let the cat out of the bag in the first place?
"Look, Jace, don't pretend you don't know your reputation. I want you to stay far away from my little sister because I'm not going to let you toss her away like a plaything. You do it with all the other girls you've met. You toss them away and then you go back for them. I saw you with Kaelie, Jace."
"I. . . Okay. Jon, Kaelie kissed me first. Eventually I gave in though. . ." Jace sounded stunned. "But Jon, what if Clary. . . ?"
"She won't." Jonathan sounded harsh. "I'll keep her away from you."
This was ridiculous. Didn't anyone take into consideration that I could take care of myself? Didn't Jon think he could let me make my own decisions? And why on Earth did Jace just not push Kaelie away, for the love of God? Yeah, so she kissed him first. If he really did "break up" with her, then he wouldn't be going back to her. Duh. That was pretty much a given. In my mind, Jace was now a combination of a douchebag, a player, and someone I had actually grown to like, shockingly enough. But that last persona was probably gone.
"How's the rune?" I heard Jace ask, effectively changing the subject. The rune. As in the rune on Jon's hand, you mean?
"Not bad." I could practically hear the shrug in Jon's voice. "That stele stung a little at first, but it was nothing I couldn't handle."
Arrogant Jon. No wonder he and Jace were friends. I rolled my eyes. But what the hell was a stele? And why would a stele sting. . . ? Now my curiosity was really sparked. I had to know.
Jon's voice came again, "When do you think I'll be able to get more runes?"
More runes? More runes? More runes? You could get more of them? I wondered if they all looked like the eye, or if they were different. And then it hit me: Of course they were different! I'd been drawing one for a while. So that meant that. . . all the so-called "tattoos" that everyone had were runes.
Holy. Hell.
"Soon." Jace sounded indifferent, detached. "That will be decided soon."
"Oh. All right." Jon sounded stiff, but a trickle of excitement leaked into his voice against his will, I was guessing. "What kinds of runes?"
"Most of the permanent ones except for the parabatai and marriage ones, I'd except." There was a hint of laughter in Jace's voice once he said "marriage."
I, meanwhile, was completely lost. Parabatai? What on Earth was that? And you could get runes for marriage? Okay, then.
Their voices began to get softer and softer. They had to be walking away, because it came to their point where I couldn't hear them anymore. So I tentatively shuffled back to the lowest branch and dropped to the ground, landing in a crouch. When I cautiously skittered over to the other side of the tree, Jace and Jonathan were gone. Thank God. I was wondering how much longer I'd be able to stay in that tree.
I stretched my cramped muscles, wincing. I really needed to work out or something. Just as I figured I should probably go back to class, another figure came stumbling along the path and I started. I was half-in, half-out of the weeping willow's coverage, so I started to slink back into the shadows, when the person called out, "Clary?"
I stopped, peering at the approaching figure. Slender, dark hair, bright eyes— wait a second. "Ella?!"
Ella walked towards me carefully like she was coming towards a dangerous animal. I was confused, but then I realized Ella could be high or drunk or hallucinating or something. "Yeah. It's me."
I looked at my friend— the same and different. "Ella, where were you? Did you do anything else? And how much did you take last night?"
Ella shook her head. "It doesn't matter, Clary."
I wanted to shake her. I wanted to make her see sense. "Ella, don't you understand—"
"No, Clary. Can you understand?" Ella gestured for me to follow her, so I trailed after her as we began walking around the grounds.
I swallowed. "I. . . A little bit. I understand a little. But I'm not an addict, so I can't understand everything. And I don't know your story either."
Ella gave me a brief smile. "Soon. You will soon when you're ready, Clary. But the main overview of my life is that it's been miserable most of the time. My parents don't care about me, Will, or Cecily. And all of us have at least one little thing that's wrong with us. A lot of people at Idris do. Mental illnesses are a common thing here."
I felt sort of sick. Did Valentine and Jocelyn send Jon and I here because there was something wrong with us? No, not Jon, I decided. I had problems, but they were small, and really, it was a coincidence. "I'm sorry about. . ." . . .your life? I cleared my throat. "I'm sorry that this has happened to you."
"It's doesn't matter anymore," Ella replied distantly, repeating herself. "I don't really care. My parents plus my problems drove me to do what I do. That's the main theme of my story, and that's all you need to know for now."
I was practically drowning in my curiosity. What had happened to Ella? What were her "problems"? I didn't want to push her, though. "Okay." Then I remembered the reason I'd hid out here in the first place and felt my stomach liquidize into dread and anxiety. My heartbeat rose up into my throat. "Ella," I began. "Did you hear about what happened. . . ?"
"What happened?" Ella looked at me in confusion for a second, and I hoped she'd heard because I really, really didn't want to relive the encounter. "Oh. Yeah. Clary, did you really assault Jessamine Lovelace?"
I massaged my temples as my head hurt with all the rumors swirling like some kind of gossipy tornado through the school right now. "No."
Ella looked straight at me, her blue eyes unwavering. "Then what happened?"
I groaned. No, no, no, no. But if I didn't tell Ella, then I risked having false gossip blaze through the Shadowhunter grapevine. "Well. . ." I started hesitantly, "it all started when Jessamine tried to trip me in AP Chemistry." I decided on a quick whim to emit the part about how I was late to class because of Ella. "But I kicked her in the shin instead. And after class was over, she got really, really pissed. She started rambling about how the Three Blondes, including her, were going to put me in my place, which is apparently at their feet." I felt a burn of anger spread through me, and closed my eyes. Please, not now. . . Oh God, not now. "And. . . I lost it. There's no other excuse. I went off like a firecracker, and oh my God, the things I said were horrible things, horrible things. . ." I realized I'd come to a complete stop and that Ella was touching my arm gently, trying to console me.
Ella sucked in a breath. "How bad was it, Clary?"
"Bad." This time, instead of anger, I felt the familiar burn of shame and mortification. I was more than horrified with myself. "I couldn't get myself to shut up, and it was terrifying, because I couldn't stop myself. I feel like I literally don't even know myself anymore."
I hated that my mind had this much power over me. I hated it when anything or anyone but me had power over me. I despised it, knowing that I was out of even my own control.
"God, Clare, I'm sorry."
"It could be worse, right? I could've hit Jessamine or something." I thought of how close I'd been to slapping or punching her and shivered. Who was I? What was happening to me? It had never been like this before, with the other episodes.
Then I felt like someone had just gone and slugged me in the gut: I was getting worse. Oh God. Oh my God. I had been taken off meds for a while, and the doctors said my—
No. The thought was hard and fast. I refused to even let myself think the name, which brought up memories, which were the biggest triggers of all.
"It definitely could've been worse," Ella echoed, then grinned in spite of it all. "Cutting class, Clary? We'll make you into a rebel yet."
"It was necessary," I admitted, looking down at my feet. "I was going crazy in there. But I bet it doesn't matter; everyone already thinks I'm crazy."
"Clary," Ella said, her tone solemn, "everyone here is already crazy whether they know it or not."
When I walked into the cafeteria at lunch that day, I swear to God the whole place actually went silent, like I was some kind of freakish, dangerous person (which, from hearing all the gossip about me, everyone probably thought I was). Then the awful whispers started up: "It's her!" "Did you hear what she did to Jessie?!" "Why is she even allowed here?" "Are the rumors true?" Someone catcalled and whistled a "Congratulations!" as I passed their table, flushing.
Ella was bent over a book, absently flipping the pages without reading anything. Will was next to her, and it looked like he was trying to ask her something. Jace, oddly enough, was seated as far away from Kaelie as humanly possible. Kaelie, Jessamine, and Camille were all clustered into one table, and were all glaring icily at me. I gulped and sat next to Izzy.
"Where've you been?" Isabelle muttered to me under her breath.
"Out," I replied. I didn't want to have a full-scale conversation about how I'd cut class because of the breakdown I'd almost had in the hallway.
Surprisingly, Isabelle grinned. "Cutting class much, Clary?"
"Well. . . Yeah," I admitted sheepishly. "But it was necessary."
"I think we've been a bad influence on you," Jace said, who must've been listening.
Dammit. I really didn't feel much like talking to Jace at the moment, but I was guessing he was just going to pretend the incident at the party thing just hadn't happened. Okay, then, Jace. Two can play at this game.
Instead of looking at him, I stared at my food. "Yeah, maybe."
"Nice job with Jessamine, by the way." Jace grinned. "I didn't think anyone could handle her like that."
This time, I did look at him. I'd desperately been hoping that no one would "congratulate" me, because it hadn't been a brave thing I'd done. In reality, I was most likely just as bad as Jessamine herself. "Um, thanks, I guess."
I really wanted to go off in a tangent about how saying all the crap I did to Jessamine wasn't a thing to be proud of in the least little bit, but I didn't think Jace would get it.
"Where'd you go when you were cutting class, Clary?" Was he seriously still talking to me? I guess Jace just can't catch a hint. . . But then again, I bet you he just assumes that since he'd Jace Herondale everyone in the whole wide world is always wanting to talk to him. Annoying.
"Outside," I answered stiffly. "I went outside. Where do you think I went?"
"I thought I saw. . . Never mind." Jace frowned, and my stomach dropped to my shoes. Holy crap, I think he'd seen me when I was playing Secret Agent and eavesdropping on him and Jon. "Where outside did you go, exactly?"
I stared challengingly back at him. "Nosy, aren't we?"
"Loosen up, Red, I'm just curious here." Jace put on the full smoldering thing with his golden eyes. Sorry, but I'm not falling for that little act.
And just like that, that goddamned nickname was back. Why. "Okay, then, Jacey." His eyes narrowed and I smirked. Third time's the charm. "I was just walking around the east side of campus. Are you satisfied?"
Now it was Jace's turn to smirk. "I would be if I was there with you."
I could feel myself responding to Jace's quips against my own volition. I rolled my eyes. "In your dreams, Herondale. Besides, aren't you dating yourself anyways?"
"I'm shocked you remember, Clary. But dating oneself doesn't give me very much company."
"Gee, I can't imagine why," I said sarcastically, and at that moment, Will's head jerked up.
"All I heard was that Jace was dating himself," said Will. "Cousin, this is a new development. What happened to Kaelie?"
I could see Jace's mouth straighten out into a high-strung line. "Kaelie is obnoxious, clingy, and rude, Will."
Will shrugged. "Cool it, Jace. I was just asking, because you've hung around her since middle school, and then out of the blue you just break up with her."
I glanced between the two Herondale boys, looking around for anyone to help me diffuse the tension between them. Too bad everyone else was already wrapped up in different conversations. This definitely wouldn't end well. . .
"If you want to get onto the topic of your love life, William, then why don't you confess—"
"Shut up," Will growled, leaning forwards. His jaw flexed, and I racked my head for side topics of conversation to stop a full-blown fight from exploding in the cafeteria. "If you ever say another word about that, Jace—"
"You'll what? Punch me?" Jace mocked, and I decided it was time to step in as the peacemaker.
"Guys," I started, but they ignored me, each trying to outdo the other in a manly competition of "Who Has the Most Masculine Glare."
"You know what?" Will snapped. "I think I might just do that."
I was sitting next to Will, and Will was across from Jace, who was gripping the table so ferociously it looked like he was going to break it in half. So I scooted into Will's side and elbowed him as hard as I possibly could in the ribs.
"Hey!"
I shrugged. "It was for your own good, William. Now both of you stop it now. Or I'll be forced to get Izzy to stab both of you with her shoes."
"Stay out of this, Clary," snarled Jace, back to glaring at Will.
"No, I won't!" I said loudly. "You guys aren't getting into a fight in the middle of a school day, or so help me, I'll quit talking to both of you."
Their heads snapped towards me in surprising synchrony.
"You can stop talking to him," Will muttered, jerking his head towards Jace. "He's an asshole anyways."
"God," I snapped. "Why can't you two just be friends or something? I still have that story, Jace. Want me to read the parts you edited out to the whole school?"
To my astonishment, Jace paled slightly. I felt bewildered— hadn't Jace just been telling me he wanted everyone to read it yesterday or something?
"What story?" Will had caught on almost immediately.
"It's nothing, just a dumbass story Hodge had Jace and me write in History. That's all." When Will remained unconvinced as the bell rang, I smiled at him and said, "I'll give you the details after school if you want."
"Sure," Will said absently. And the fight between him and Jace stopped sort of; with Jace looking suspiciously at Will and I. Will's mind, meanwhile, seemed to be thousands of miles away. "By the way, Clary, can you meet me at the north side of the grounds? I want to talk to you."
"Yeah, it's not like I actually do anything after school anyways," I grinned. Will flashed me a quick smile before running to catch up to Ella, and Jace fell into step with me.
"What the hell was that all about?" Jace still sounded suspicious.
"I'm just meeting up with a friend after school, Jace. Is that of great importance to you or something?" I frowned. Jace seemed to have a penchant for wanting to know exactly what I was doing with Will. I wanted to tell Jace to mind his own freaking business, but I decided against that.
"I think he's got a bit more than friendship on his mind," Jace smirked, and I really wanted to hate him.
"Well, no one asked you," I shot back. "Why do you even care?"
"Now that, Clary, is none of your business." Jace winked at me and melted seamlessly into the throng of people in front of us. I barely managed to catch his golden head above the crowd.
My mouth fell open. How dare he! Why did Jace think he could pry into whatever aspect of my life that he wanted, but that I couldn't ask him a single question?! Will was right: Jace, for the most part, truly was an asshole. And about a hundred other ugly names I could think up for him.
Just like I promised, I met Will in the north section of the grounds. I'd never been up there before, so I had to ask Izzy for directions. And it turned out the north side was even more secluded than the weeping willow part I'd just been on. Why hadn't I know about the north side before I went all psycho on Jessamine?
I spotted Will from afar— probably because he wasn't that hard to recognize anywhere and because Camille was hovering around him.
"Back off, Camille," I heard him say irritably. "I'm only here because I'm waiting for someone."
Camille's head shot up like dog's (see, rabid dog again!), her eyes narrowing into green slits once she saw me; her face transforming into an expression of repulsion.
"William," she purred, "you're not waiting for her, are you?"
Will threw me a sly looking grin and said to Camille, "Well, I'm certainly not waiting for you."
I swallowed a laugh while Will just laughed outright. Camille huffed like a very pissed off dragon, and stomped away, making sure to deliberately step on my foot. Ow.
"So, what did you want to talk to me about?" I asked Will once Camille was far out of sight— likely reporting to the Head Commander of the Three Blondes. Or something like that.
"Cut right to the chase, don't you, Clary?" Will stuck his hands in his pockets with a smirk. Okay, what was it with the Herondales and that same smirk they always had on their faces?
I rolled my eyes at him. "Well, excuse me, I assumed it was important." Actually, I knew it was important— I had a faint idea about what this was going to be about.
Will's grin faded slightly. "You were right about that. It is important."
"Okay. . . So what is it?" Out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw a flash of gold, but no. . . I was seeing things. As usual.
"Remember how I didn't have an explanation for all the weird crap that's been happening?"
"Yes. But you do have an explanation. You just don't want to tell me."
"You can read me like a book, Clary." Will laughed, and I grinned a little without meaning to.
"Believe me, Will, it's a gift."
Will nudged my shoulder with his gently, and I jabbed him in the ribs in return. "But anyways, on with the explanation. Everyone here at Idris is. . ." Will searched for a word. "Everyone at Idris is special. We're different. A group of us are considered the 'bad kids' everywhere, but that's not the half of it." Will stopped walking and turned to face me. "Do you want me to continue?"
He had me mesmerized with his story, and he hadn't even gotten halfway finished. "Hell, yes! Go on, Will. I'm dying here!"
"Okay. Some of us at Idris are called Shadowhunters." Will paused to gauge my reaction.
I blurted, "I know! I mean. . . No. I didn't mean to say that. Sorry, go on."
Will was watching me with a strange expression on his face and I had a feeling that he was starting to guess that I wasn't as innocent and oblivious about the whole thing as I pretended to be. "Shadowhunters are powerful beings that aren't even human. This generation— me, Jace, Isabelle— used to things that were our purpose, but we are half-human, and the things we'd seen drove us to do some terrible things. It caused mental problems and were the jumpstarts for our addictions. The Clave, which is the Shadowhunter government, decided we had to be sent here, to Idris, to get over our addictions and play out life as mundanes— humans— before we got to join the Shadow World again. But none of us got over any of our addictions. As a matter of fact, everything bad in us only increased. And soon our parents and the Clave forgot about us, and so here we are: stuck in Idris High School for all of our eternities."
"That's horrible," I gasped, still in shock about Will's revelation of what they all were. "Your parents just. . . forgot—"
"It wasn't that hard to do," Will interrupted me. He seemed to notice how harsh he sounded, and softened his tone. "We're a disgrace to the Clave. All of us. Except for you and Jonathan, because your parents kept you away from this life of— of alcohol and drugs and problems and all this complete, utter bullshit that's happened. The Clave is looking to you and Jon now to change things in us. And none of us are getting better, Clary. You've seen Ella— someday she's just going to take it too far. Someday Izzy is going to purge an ulcer in her stomach and a tear in her esophagus. Someday Jace and I will lose ourselves to alcohol. But you and Jon, you two are pure and untouched by this gene that spread throughout our generation because your parents kept you away from this life."
I felt a wash of horror course throughout me. Isabelle was. . . bulimic? Impossible. But. . . I thought again. She was so good at hiding it that there were miniscule signs, things that I was too stupid to realize. And Ella was a drug addict, I knew that, but I didn't know the extent of Will's and Jace's alcoholism until now. Except Jon and I weren't pure. Jon, perhaps, was freed from the gene that Will was talking about, but it had hit me over the head like a frying pan in middle school. And then. . . Jocelyn and Valentine. I hadn't gotten a single call or text or Skype or visit or anything from them. Had they put Jon and I here to forget about us, like everyone else's parents had? I didn't think I wanted to know the answer. A foul mixture of anger, dread, and horror tangled my insides together in a great big knot.
"But Will, I'm not. . . I'm not pure like Jonathan is. I've already been screwed over by that gene. And I can't help the Clave accept you— accept us— again."
"Yes, you can," Will said firmly. "I have faith in you."
"You have faith in nothing, then," I replied hollowly. "I don't know how. I've never even met the Clave, for God's sake!"
Will hesitated, and I waited for his crushing disappointment as he realized that no one would rescue him from this pretty prison of a school. "There's something about you, Clary. Something that you'll have to figure out on your own, but that's why the Clave thinks you'll be the one."
Yeah, whatever, Will. Don't get your hopes up, because I can't do anything. "What are the tattoos for?" I ran a finger along an especially swirly on Will's arm.
"They're runes." A brief smile graced Will's face. "Mundanes can't see them because they're glamoured. That's why everyone believed you couldn't see them because they thought you were a mundane. And we were all so shocked that you started drawing runes because we thought you were a mundane. Runes are what give us power. The one you just touched is the rune for memory. Gives us the ability to remember everything."
I remembered the rune on Jon's hand. "What's the eye on your hand for?"
"The eye helps us see the Shadow World properly. It's usually the first rune every Shadowhunter gets."
"So. . . Jon is a Shadowhunter." I was secretly dying to know when I'd be like everyone there— a Shadowhunter too, but didn't mention it.
"Yes." We were silent for a minute until Will said, "But Clary, do you understand what it means to be a Shadowhunter?"
I thought back to Will's story. "Yes."
"Living with the knowledge of the Shadow World is dangerous. We do fight demons, after all. Or at least we used to. Are you afraid?"
I mulled that over for a while, thinking hard about it. But I had no fear. I wasn't frightened. "No, Will, I'm not afraid."
Will shook his head as a small smile curled up around the edges of his mouth. It made me smile too. "I didn't think so. Clary Morgenstern, you're fearless."
Just then, I heard a voice behind us: "Well, well, didn't fancy seeing you two here."
Chapter Seven = done! w00t! The bad thing is that I won't be updating (probably) COTF, Clockwork Academy, Dark Clarity, and Clockwork Enigma (yeah, I'm starting that one up again) until next weekend :(((( Sorry about that! But school is getting more and more insane and I barely have time to update even on weekends anymore! Oh well, writing chapter seven gave me a good excuse of why not to do my English homework, heh heh. But at least this chapter is pretty long. . . right? haha.
Clary goes a bit crazy and OOC in here. . . Review if you want me to put a revelation about what her "problems" are in the next chapter! She doesn't think of them because they're like huge triggers to her btw.
Here's an idea I got from another fanfic: Imagine either Jace or Will is sitting next to you. Jace/Will puts an arm around you and kisses you, then pulls back for a moment and whispers "Review" in your ear. . .
Got any suggestions for me? This chapter is a bit of a filler chapter, but at least 1/2 of the loose ends are tied up!
I'm issuing a huge thanks to everyone who reviewed, followed, favorited, or reviewed! YOU GUYS ARE FREAKING AWESOME AND DESERVE AWARDS!
Okay, so remember my mini poll last chapter: Team Clace or Team Clary x Will? Well I actually went and totaled up the votes, and it's three for Team Clace and seven for Team Clary x Will and one for Undecided! I'm still not sure what to do. . . Let's just say for y'all to prepare for A LOT of drama!
Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! So until next weekend. . .
Guest: I'm so torn between Clary x Will and Clace! ahhhhhh! Thanks for the review :)
Guest: Okay, I agree with most of that! And Jace is a bit of an asshole, but Kaelie will soon vanish from his love life. . . Thanks for reviewing!
Guest: I've been hearing Clary x Will from a lot of people, so it might just happen. . . ;) Thanks for the review!
AmberWolf1049: The black eye thing is all cleared up in this chapter, so yay! Sorry, I had Will tell her— but guess who comes into the next chapter?! haha! Thank you, I'm happy you like it! And thanks a ton for reviewing!
ClaryElena: Thank you so much! Ik I'm really starting to love Cill. . . :D Thanks for reviewing!
Lover: I'm so so torn between Clace and Cill! Thanks for the review :)
Jess: Thank you! Here's the update, so yay :-) Thank you for the review!
Justbeautifulme33: Awe thank you! I'm so glad you think so :) Ehh I just can't decide between Clace and Cill! It's so hard! That's a good idea though, and I'll definitely keep that in mind :) Thanks so much for reviewing!
KittyCat6264: Ooh all of those questions have answers in this chapter :) Thank you for the review!
Toasty: Ahaha that note was too much fun to write! I actually did do one of those. . . And it was plain odd haha. Yeah more Clary x Will in coming up! Omg I just read the whole thing about the butter and I'm dying hahaha! I'm glad you liked the chapter! Thanks for the review XD
Soaking In The Reign: I'm stuck between the two ships in the middle of ShipLand haha! Idk if I'll put you in as an OC but you might just see a character under the name of Autumn sometime ;) Thanks for reviewing!
Morning and Eve: Ik, I feel so bad for Ella! But I am really happy that you thought the chapter (at least some parts of it) were funny, because that was EXACTLY what I was aiming for! Thank you so much for reviewing!
Nemo: Omg thank you a billion! And here's that update, so I hope you enjoy the new chapter :) Thank you for the review!
Mildred: Jace going crazy because he can't have Clary is part of my plan ;) I'm dying to kick Kaelie and Co. out of this fanfic, but mehhhhh I have to keep them in here. Thanks for reviewing :)
AnnaW14: Oh my gosh, thank you so much! I was trying to capture that, so I'm beyond happy that you think I pulled it off :D I kinda feel the same way tbh. . . I guess we'll just have to see what happens to Clary. Ooh thanks for the suggestion! You'll see some lyrics from "Oblivion" very, very soon ;) Thanks so much for reviewing!
Vannaluv: Ahhhhh I'm in the exact same boat! So torn here it's not even funny. . . Well maybe a little bit. Thanks for reviewing!
Amp1342: Thank you, I'm glad you like it! I'm just ridiculously stuck between the two ships *screams* Thanks for the review :-)
RachelTheShadowhunter: I just can't decide! eep! I'm so keeping that idea in my mind, I have a feeling it's going to come in handy ;) Thanks for the review!
