Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Glee or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.
This chapter is a little long, thanks you guys. Hope you enjoy it – AgainstAlOds, LokiFirefox, Miss Elenath, Shadowpsykie, Dosqueen67, Gleeville, Shanehardy and Lastnight815 (I have no answer for you yet but I'm figuring it out).
Red Letter Days
Chapter 7
'Nomad' was the first word to streak through Blaine's head when the elevator whooshed open, dropping him at his floor. 'Drifter' and 'Transient' followed soon after. With the way he'd been shunting from home to home, its no wonder he felt so disconnected from everyone and everything around him. Dragging on the hardwood floors, his footsteps slowed as he approached his apartment. He racked his brain for something he may have forgotten at Kurt's, an action that was ultimately in vain because he had everything he needed to live at both residences comfortably, two of everything, really. Pushing through the front door, he stopped his keys dangling useless from his hand. The huge space was so silent he imagined he could hear both his disappointment and his relief vying for first billing. One thing was for sure; they weren't home.
Any sort of company would have done.
Resigned to a day spent alone, Blaine fell face down onto the plump couch cushions burying his face in the woven cotton blend. Turns out it was possible for him to feel sorrier for himself. He'd rather have faced Sam and all the reasons he run from this place than spend time here alone with just his endless speculations filled with adventurous women. His ears perked as a thump came from down the hall, getting to his feet, he followed the resultant racket ending up outside Artie's bedroom, door flung wide open. Sagging with – yes relief - he surveyed the clothes strewn floor, as the three occupants argued.
"Take off the sweater vest." Sam directed.
"No." Artie crossed his skinny arms across his chest as if the cherished garment would be ripped right off. "It's freezing outside."
"It is not freezing." While reassuring him, Sam tugged at an unshielded corner. "If you want this girl to notice you, you need to stop dressing like a youth pastor."
"Oh, she'll notice him." Tina yelled from the depths of his closet. "She'll notice when she's choking on cologne."
Sniffing his shirt, Artie pulled off the vest letting Sam help him when it snagged on his glasses. "I used the normal amount." He protested from argyle depths, emerging rumpled to wipe on the smudged lenses. He slid them onto his face, eyes landing on Blaine in the process. "The prodigal son returns." He announced, smile pulling at his lips.
Blaine waved, his hand rising of its own accord. It was a silly self-conscious wave followed by an even more self-conscious, "Hi"
Narrow eyed, Tina stumbled out of the closet, blowing her hair out of her face. "You have some explaining to do." Thrusting a shirt she'd rescued at Artie, she ordered, "Wear this."
"I can't change anymore. I'm going to be late."
This started another round of argument that only ended when her phone started to ring, the piercing ringtone shattering the aimless squabble.
Blaine was barely able to get a word in edgewise. "You have a date?"
"Not a date-date. But um – date like activity."
What did that mean? He was just about to ask when he caught Sam shaking his head at him far enough behind for Artie not to notice. "That's nice."
"Damn straight. Now all of you get out so I can go through my pre date rituals - that I hope no one ever finds out about - alone."
"Dude, that was the exact wrong thing to say." Sam joked as he flopped onto his bed stretching out. "I have to see this mysterious routine."
"GET OUT!"
Simultaneous, 'Fine', 'Sheesh' and 'This is the thanks I get' were tossed at him as they all filed out. Tina wriggled past them, still on the phone, simpering, giggling, and flipping enough hair to blind someone.
Blaine was suddenly extremely aware that they were together alone. It had been awhile since that had happened and he stared at Sam filing away all the tiny ways he had changed from his freshly cut hair to the Band-Aid on his right ring finger. Separately they were uneventful little nothings, a cut just a cut, but together they had much larger impact, they were indicative of all the time Blaine had missed.
Sam nudged his shoulder scattering his fanciful thoughts. "I've gotta head out. Wanna come?"
"Yes!" Wow that was eager. Blaine took a deep breath, recalibrated. "I mean uh - where?"
"Drugstore."
There was nothing exciting about that. "Sure."
"Sam?" Tina called out as they were leaving.
"Don't worry. I got it." He replied.
Blaine followed behind him trying to decipher that short exchange that gave nothing away.
A half hour later, he had his answer. "Fluid lock grooves for leak protection?" Blaine read off the blue box. "You're buying tampons?"
"Tina's" Sam ripped it from his hand tossing it into the basket, his eyes perusing the shelves. "Do not look at her sideways over the next couple of days. She'll either take your skin off or she'll cry. The crying is worse. Last time I said something to her and she flipped out…anyway it was a whole mess. Just…trust me."
Completely turned around, Blaine checked out label after label. So much variety. "How do you even know what to get?"
"She showed me. Exactly"
"Oh!" Blaine stopped surprised. "That's unexpected."
"It's not weird unless you make it weird."
There were some guys staring at them making it plenty weird but Blaine was stuck on the fact that Tina told him, like told him. When did that happen? When did they get comfortable enough to talk about that kind of stuff? Come to think of it, when did Artie start dating?
"What is date-like activity?" He inquired falling into step beside his friend.
"I think it's code for super awkward group hang." Shrugging, Sam shook his head. "He is nuts about this girl, name's Lucy. The past couple of weeks, she is all he talks about I don't think she's into him the same way…He'll probably get his heart broken."
Well, there were a lot of those feelings going around, unrequited and oh so painful. "Why didn't you tell him?"
"He was so excited when he got her text. Besides I don't know this girl, maybe this is how she rolls because she's shy or something. No harm in letting him be happy."
His shopping list complete, Sam lined up to pay the tab. Blaine hang back waiting. The box of condoms the other boy slipped into the bags not going unnoticed.
Blaine let himself get roped into lunch. Who was he kidding? He'd been following Sam around since he got home. At this point he'd quite happily part with a kidney if it meant spending more time with him.
The diner Sam dragged him to was straight out of a 50's TV set right down to the checkered tile and jukebox sitting in a corner. Blaine stared around in surprise, it was a block away from their apartment but it may well have sprung fully-grown from the sidewalk cause he'd never noticed it. It pulsed pleasantly with sounds of chatter from various boisterous patrons and their children. It was a family place in all sense of the word, they stepped aside as a little boy staggered past with a pizza slice almost as large as his face, Sam's laughter triggering his own.
"There is no way he'll eat it." Sam slid into the booth across from him then glanced over his shoulder. "He's giving it a good try though."
Blaine peeked around the side finding the boy chewing furiously at a crusty corner both fists holding on, nothing was ever going to come between him and his meal - except his mom a second later. He wondered when he'd stopped doing that, holding onto what he wanted with everything in him. Learning how to let go was without a doubt one of the best and worst things about growing up. You didn't have to look past further than his relationship with Kurt to realize he hadn't mastered the art in either capacity.
Sam tapped his hand, long fingers sliding easily over his skin. "Are you okay?"
Flushing, Blaine's gaze snapped from his hand, to his lips then to his eyes, that were deeper, darker, steeped in concern.
He managed a smile, nodding. "I'm great."
"How is Kurt? Is he great too?" Sam teased. "Should I dust off my best man speech?"
"Not yet." Short and to the point it cut off any further inquiries from Sam. For a moment Blaine thought he would push for more detail, dreaded that he would instead Sam launched into a tale of one of their neighbors who apparently had a Ham Radio and a police scanner. Funny though it was, it wasn't what he wanted to talk about.
"Is there something you want to tell me?" He interrupted
"No" Sam answered, still looking shady as hell. "Is there something you want to tell me?"
"Don't turn this around, Sam. I know you're seeing someone. It's totally fine. We can talk about her, if you want."
"That's what you want to talk about?" Letting out a breath, Sam beamed leaning back in his seat. "I am not dating."
"I saw her leaving your room, really early."
"Probably Katie and we are not seeing each other."
"I don't understand." Blaine murmured but then suddenly he did understand all of it. Unfortunately the first words that burst out of his mouth were, "Drug resistant Gonorrhea."
"Man, you sound like my dad. I'm not an idiot, I'm careful." Yeah Blaine had seen how careful he was being. "Beside you can't expect me to believe you and Kurt aren't fu- having sex?"
Blaine wasn't sure what pissed him off more that Sam lumped him in with his dad or that he wouldn't swear around him. "We are but-" I do not enjoy it. Kurt is making me. None of those responses would be true. "We are in a committed relationship."
Sam leaned in obviously about to engage in a vehement rebuttal when a large buxom waitress popped beside them. "Sam!" She greeted.
"Hannah." He smiled back at her sweetly. "How are you doing?"
"Good! Good! Is this your boyfriend?" She pointed right at Blaine with a pencil chewed down to a stub. "He's a looker."
"Yes he is." Sam replied without hesitation. "This is Blaine. We live together."
Blaine watched the entire exchange in a daze. His head had checked out after Sam implied they were together. He must have ordered because she jotted down some stuff and left soon after.
"She thinks we are a couple." He gasped.
Unconcerned, Sam shrugged. "Yeah."
"Why?"
"I told her I was seeing someone when I worked here for a couple of days. One night she pinched my butt, it was weird so I lied no big deal - your little relationship broadcast probably made her think I meant us."
"You can correct her." Blaine insisted grumpily.
"Why?"
"What do you mean why?"
"I don't want her to feel bad, okay? Like she's not attractive or whatever, she is but she reminds me of my Aunt Lois. This way everybody's happy and she keeps giving me free pie. And it's not like she's the first person to assume I'm gay. I have decided to just go with it when it happens."
"You can't do that?"
"Why not?"
Blaine raised an eyebrow but said nothing. Because you are giving me hope that something could happen with us was not an acceptable answer.
A sharp rapping on the glass, Sam tore his eyes away from his. Blaine watched him smile and wave back at the blonde guy outside the window, making motions for him to stay right there.
Dropping some crumpled bills onto the table, Sam slid out of the booth. "That's Charlie." He explained. "There is some stuff I need to talk to him about so I gotta go." Poised to leave, he dawdled. "Are you sticking around tonight?"
"Yes. I mean – I –" Real smooth Anderson. Blaine cleared his throat nervously. Dammit. Get it out. God, he was no good at this stuff especially with Sam looking at him with the eyes. He stalled fidgeting with the napkin holder. "Do you want me to?"
"Of course" Sam used his 'you're being an idiot' voice. "Sunday night is movie night and it's Artie's turn to pick the movie, unless you want to take a turn? Please take a turn he makes us watch artsy-fartsy, black and white crap. Its a massive snoozefest."
"Maybe next week?"
"Cool."
"Cool." Sam left weaving through the crowd, Blaine following his every move until he popped out onto the street greeting his friend.
"He won't disappear if you take your eyes off him for two seconds."
Blaine tore his attention from Sam and this Charlie. Rubbing at the cool spot on his forehead from where he'd been leaning on the glass window, he gave Hannah a sheepish smile.
"Coffee?" She smiled back gesturing with the half filled coffee pot.
"Yes please." He pushed his empty cup towards her watching the dark liquid chase up the ceramic sides.
Giving one last glance out the wide window, she said, "You two are so cute together." Before sauntering off wide hips swinging, greeting the other customers as she went. Blaine slowly stirred sugar into his cup looking around the overfull diner trying to hide his sheer happiness at her statement, failing. He loved the thought of complete strangers seeing them as a couple.
He was so pathetic.
ooOoo
Later that night as they all piled into the Living Room and fired up the Flat Screen. He couldn't seem to stop smiling, hadn't been able to since that afternoon. Sam sprawled next to him in the middle of the large couch, Tina crosslegged at the other side of him. She'd lectured him about his disappearing for the better part of the afternoon and he'd apologized over and over but he doubted he was in the clear yet. Artie cleared his throat, starting his presentation, which apparently had to be given at the start of every screening.
"Continuing in my vein of movies made in or about New York. I present," With a flourish, Artie picked up the DVD hoisting it above his head. "Manhattan." He boomed. Blaine chuckled at his elaborate effort to sell the movie to his very skeptical audience. "Seriously guys, this is one of my favorite movies of all time. It has comedy and drama. Complex adult relationships…"
"What year was it made?" Sam interrupted.
"1979."
Twin groans erupted from the couch.
Tina sighed dramatically. "Artie, why do you hate us?"
"This is Woody Allen at his most creative. It is a classic."
"A classic drag."
"Thank you, Tina." He snapped. "Thank you so much for 'The ABCs of Death' and the horrific images it seared on my brain. I haven't looked at dogs the same way since."
"Yup!" Sam shoved her. "Tina that movie was messed up."
"It was more interesting than Piranhaconda." Tina kicked Sam to send her point home.
"SyFy's movies are supposed to be bad, that's why they are awesome." Sam defended grabbing her foot, "The phrase so bad it's good comes from that."
"No, it doesn't."
Blaine tried to focus on their debate but he couldn't tear himself away from Tina's foot or the ease with which it had rested in Sam's lap and stayed. Like it was comfortable. Normal. Glancing around he expected any of them to say anything, no one did even when Sam grabbed her ankle giving it a light stroke. It was just him disintegrating all on his own. This wasn't how they were supposed to be together. Sam and Tina fought, they were fighting now, the way they always did but it held a certain fondness that was missing before. Shoving to his feet Blaine made a popcorn related excuse and stumbled into the kitchen.
This was not happening, his brain screamed. Sure, Tina was the right gender and everything and lately with Sam's casual approach to relationships who knew what would happen. If they started hooking up – please God no – he would have to move. He couldn't stay here and watch them find each other. Blaine flipped through the cupboards until he found the box of popcorn ripped it open and tossed it into the microwave. It took an inordinate amount of time because nothing was where he left it. Spinning his gaze snagged on the chore wheel taped to the fridge, ripping it off he scanned the information. His name wasn't on it. Almost like he didn't live here, like he was a guest who only stopped by occasionally and he was.
Nomad.
At one point his absence may have been a gaping wound but they were slowly healing over it, over him. How soon until they wouldn't miss him at all?
Blaine started as Artie wheeled in, the piece of cardboard falling to his feet.
"This is the longest anyone has ever taken to make popcorn. Don't tell me you're ducking my pick too. It is an amazing movie as long as you're not –" He gestured over his shoulder and lowered his voice. "- a philistine."
"I'm not avoiding anything." Blaine busied himself filling the clear bowl, melting butter and tossing out the translucent packets. He paused before drizzling the butter into the bowl. Last time he'd done it Sam wouldn't eat it, he'd gone on about the fat content. Blaine had no idea if he'd eat it now. Maybe he should ask Tina.
"They are really close." He stated. It was a question, posed as a statement, dripping with nonchalance.
"Sam and Tina?"
He hummed still unable to look up.
"Yeah. They are always in corners whispering. I think it's about her new boyfriend."
He snapped up. "She's seeing someone?"
"Yes and don't pretend like I didn't just make your night. So stop moping and get a move on."
Blaine couldn't even be bothered to pretend that it wasn't the best news ever. He nodded. When they headed back in he felt a lot better.
"You ok?" Sam murmured the moment he sat down.
Between the unexpected crying jag last week and the sudden completely ridiculous burst of jealousy, it was getting harder to refuse that he felt something for Sam. Pointless though it was. All the sentiment in the world didn't make Sam any less straight or Blaine any less…he shied away from the word 'trapped'. After hearing Tina's story, he dreaded everything it implied about his life. "I'm good." He replied right before Artie shushed them.
Sam shifted leaning heavily against his side. "This is why I told you to take a turn."
"I will choose the movie next week." Blaine promised. From now on he had to figure out a way to merge both of his worlds. He didn't want to be forgotten.
"Oh God! I sense Moulin Rouge." Artie grumbled startling them. "Bring back robotic acting and poor CGI monster mash-ups. Now, shut up, it's starting."
