This one is really angsty and sweet, I think, but fear not as there is still smuttiness at the end. Thank you to everyone who has favourited/followed/reviewed so far, the next chapter is already in the works! As always I love hearing your feedback, as well as ideas for upcoming chapters/scenarios :)
Carol spent the rest of the morning in a daze. She glided through the motions of helping to prepare breakfast like usual, but her mind was somewhere else entirely. She was almost embarrassed that Daryl could evoke such a reaction from her. All she could think of was his rough hands running along her smooth skin, the way he looked at her naked body like it was the most appetizing thing he had ever seen, his musky scent, and his throaty growls when he came.
Carol sat down with her coffee, stirring it around absentmindedly instead of drinking it. Maggie soon joined her and began venting about something, but Carol was hardly paying any attention.
"She actually wants to switch her work rotation so she doesn't have to work in the kitchen next week, can you believe it? All I know is that it's messing up the schedule and she won't even say why. Soon everyone else will be trying to switch their duties too."
"Mmm," Carol said noncommittally, staring into the coffee whirlpool she was creating.
"I mean, do you know why she's acting up? Have you heard anything?"
"Mmm, I see," Carol said.
Maggie rolled her eyes. "Carol. You didn't even hear a word I just said."
Carol refocused her eyes on Maggie and shook her head. "Sorry, I… what were you saying?"
"Beth. Any idea what's up with her?"
Carol's eyes widened but she kept quiet, shrugging her shoulders and focusing on her coffee again. She was sure Beth would have told everyone, but was relieved to realize she hadn't. Carol glanced around the dining hall and quickly found Beth staring daggers at her from across the room. Carol realized with surprise that Beth must be trying to avoid working with her.
Maggie noticed Beth's glower at Carol and she narrowed her eyes. "Well, if anyone feels like telling me what the hell is going on around here, I'll be doing my actual job," she said irritably before clearing her dishes. She paused briefly and locked eyes with Carol when she said, "Can't keep anything a secret around here for long, you know."
A while later, Hershel called an emergency Council meeting. Some of the newcomers were stirring up trouble and they needed to decide how to proceed. Daryl had returned from a successful hunt, and it was the first time Carol had seen him since he left her in the morning. Taking his usual seat beside from her, and stole a little glance over at her accompanied with a slight smile. Carol's ears burned. Daryl was stirring up emotions she had long forgotten about, making butterflies beat against her chest like a lovesick teenager.
The conversation was getting heated. Daryl and Sasha were vehemently in favour of throwing the small group out, but Hershel and Glenn were adamant that they be allowed to stay, additional work detail assigned for a few weeks.
"They were barely alive when they got here, they won't survive outside the walls!" Glenn shouted.
"That ain't our problem!" Daryl fired back.
Sasha nodded in agreement, voicing her support with, "We have rules for a reason. One crack in the system and soon we'll have too much pushback on our hands to handle. I say we make an example out of them."
Hershel shook his head. "We can't just throw them out to fend for themselves. They were barely alive when they got here, we have to keep our humanity."
Carol watched the argument unfold like a tennis match. She could see both sides, and was waiting for them to run out of steam before she said her piece.
"These people could be tryin' to take us for all we're worth," Daryl argued. "We can't risk everyone else for people we don't know. If we give them a chance -"
"We have to believe that people are still fundamentally good," Glenn said, cutting Daryl off, but before he could go on Daryl stood up and slammed both hands on the table which startled everyone into silence.
"How're you so fuckin' stupid?!" he shouted. "You saw what happened on that run! You saw that people ain't all good anymore!"
His outburst seemed to startle even himself, and he halted, though he was still gripping the table and breathing heavily. Carol could see a familiar look flash across his face, and she knew he was seconds from storming out. She reached out and gently but firmly placed a hand on his arm. Daryl looked at her and she met his eyes without judgment, just a silent command to calm down. He allowed her to guide him back to his chair and took a breath. Everyone at the table was quiet, then Hershel spoke.
"Carol, what about you?"
Carol looked sideways at Daryl when she replied, "We don't know if these people are good or bad. Hershel and Glenn are right - " she held her hand up when Daryl opened his mouth to argue, and he fell silent again, "but so are Daryl and Sasha. We need to establish that we make the rules, not them. I suggest a few days locked up and then a little while of probation. If they pull any kind of shit during then, they will be gone, no questions asked."
The rest of the Council sat contemplating her compromise for a moment. Hershel moved to accept her proposal, seconded by Glenn, then Sasha and Daryl reluctantly agreed.
When the meeting adjourned, Daryl caught up to Carol in the hallway.
"M'sorry," he said quietly. "Didn't mean t' lose my temper. It's just…" but he trailed off.
Carol placed her hand on his chest. It didn't sound like much, but his simple apology showed how far he had come in the last few months. Without Merle he was becoming a better person with every passing day.
"It's okay," she said. "You can talk to me when you're ready, alright?"
Daryl nodded, and she leaned in to give him a quick kiss on the cheek before heading off again.
Once the day had wound down, Daryl made his way to Carol's cell and tentatively knocked on her doorframe. He was nervous, and although he knew he was being irrational he was afraid she was angry with him for his earlier outburst. She called him in and his chest softened, anxiety melting away when he saw she already had a book in her hands. After a draining day, he wanted nothing more than to settle into Carol's lap and let her soft voice carry him to a made up world.
She was in her usual tank top that she wore to bed, and Daryl's cheeks reddened when he realized she wasn't wearing a bra. It wasn't that he hadn't seen her like that before, but now that he knew exactly how her little rosebud nipples tasted, it was all he could think of. He mentally reprimanded himself as he set his crossbow down and took his boots off. Carol scooched up into her usual place at the head of the bed with her back against the wall and Daryl let out a long sigh as he settled down into her lap.
"How are you?" Carol murmured, brushing the hair back from his forehead.
"Better now," he said. He closed his eyes and soaked in the feeling of her fingertips raising goosebumps by running lightly over his scalp and tracing the sides of his face. Carol tentatively leaned down to brush her lips over his before opening the book. It was the other one he had brought her, a no name romance novel that catered to women in airports and bored housewives, but he would listen to Carol read an instruction manual if she kept absentmindedly playing with his hair. He was just beginning to drift off when she nudged him.
"Want me to stop?" she asked, reaching for her candle to snuff it. Daryl shook his head and turned into her stomach.
"Finish the chapter?" he murmured, bringing his hand up around her to rest between her back and the wall. Carol smiled softly and finished the remaining pages, but rather than reluctantly sit up like he usually did when they ended a chapter, Daryl remained motionless in her lap. The council meeting was still weighing on his mind. Carol didn't say anything and instead traced down his neck and back as she waited for him to speak.
"The run…" he began, but trailed off. He glanced up at her and she nodded her encouragement. "We lost a lot of people."
Carol nodded again and waited patiently. Daryl took a breath. He was afraid to tell her what was on his mind, not so much because he was afraid of judgement but because giving voice to his thoughts would make them real.
"We lost a lot of people because of me."
"Daryl…" Carol began, he cut her off before she could say that it wasn't true.
"No, we did." Now that he had begun, he burned with the need to tell her everything. In hopes of what, Daryl didn't know. He didn't know if he was looking for anger or absolution, or maybe just a shoulder to cry on. Above all, he knew he could trust that Carol would listen without judgement and then offer her full, honest opinion. Daryl took a long breath before continuing.
"It was this little town 'bout twenty miles east," he began hesitantly, but then the words began to tumble out. "Hardly anythin' there besides a couple houses and this little community hall. Scout report has said it was stocked full, figured it was a shelter or somethin' back when everythin' first happened. Building looked clear so we went in. Right away we hear this screamin'. Wasn't any of us, sounded like a kid. We follow it to this big theatre type of room, and there's this little kid hanging off these curtains way up high and just screamin' her head off. Couple walkers were under her and she looked like she was losin' her grip. She's yellin' at us to help her, and I try to, but Rick tried t' stop me. Said somethin' ain't right… she wasn't screamin' till we were in the building, we woulda heard her from outside. An' she looked pretty clean and like she wasn't starvin' which was weird if she was on her own. The way she was hollerin' was off too, like she wasn't really that scared or somethin', I dunno. I knew what Rick was sayin' but I still went for her, I wasn't gonna just let her die. The rest o' them came after me. Then all the doors slammed shut an' the whole place went dark an' a door to a storage room or somethin' opened up and all these walkers swarmed us, dunno how many but it was too many for us to handle. We got trapped. Like fuckin' animals. Glenn and this other kid had flashlights and I dunno how we fought our way outta there but we did. Some of us did. Was all just a blur and I thought I was dead for sure. All out guys who died, they didn't stand a chance. Just dumb kids out on their first big run, an' they trusted the rest of us to keep them safe but we didn't, an' it was all 'cause I ignored my gut feelin'. I knew somethin' was off about that kid, I just… I couldn't…" Daryl trailed off and let out a heavy breath. He had been talking with his face pressed into Carol's stomach, though her motions had stilled and he could feel the weight of her stare pressing down on him.
"That kid..." he said. He chanced a side-eyed look up at her, and was surprised to see her eyes water.
"You saw Sophia," she said as a quiet statement rather than a question.
Daryl swallowed and nodded.
"I'm tired of people dying 'cause o' me," he said with tears stinging at the corners of his eyes to match her own.
"Daryl... " she breathed, and urged him upwards until his head was buried in her neck and she had him in a firm embrace. She said nothing as she held him, but he understood nonetheless. A few traitorous tears escaped despite his best efforts, and she brought a hand up to hold the back of his head when they hit her skin.
"Maybe it was your fault," she said quietly. "And maybe it wasn't. Maybe the people who set you up were waiting outside to kill you then. Maybe our people would have died anyway."
Daryl lifted his head to look at her and she rubbed at his tear tracks with her thumb.
"Shoulda been me," he mumbled, and she pursed her lips in a sorrowful smile as she brought his head back to her shoulder.
"No one knows how much time we have. Maybe we'll die tomorrow, maybe we won't. But we're not ashes yet. We're here. Maybe it is your fault, maybe it isn't, but you have to keep going. You have to because they don't get to."
Daryl looked up to meet her eyes again, and he let he quietly let a few tears fall freely.
"I…" he began, but stopped short. When he had been sure he was done for he had pleaded for one more day, thinking only of Carol and what he needed her to know, but now that he had the opportunity the words were catching in his throat. Instead, he leaned in and planted a small kiss on her lips. Carol gripped his shoulders and reciprocated, deepening the kiss briefly before pulling away to rest her forehead on his.
"For what it's worth," she said, tilting his chin so he could look at her. "You're still one of the good ones."
"I ain't never been the good guy," Daryl muttered.
"Well, you are to me. Always were," she said as she leaned in to kiss him lightly on the nose, cheeks, and forehead before returning to his lips. Daryl smiled and softened slightly, glad at least to have a weight lifted from his chest. Carol blew out the candle and they shifted until he was curled into her, pressed together entirely from head to toe on the narrow bed.
"Makes ya wonder what kinda people are out there," Daryl said into her chest as she held him close. "Fucked up to use a kid as bait. And ain't like we went there with a lot of supplies or anythin'. They must've been tryin' t' kill us just to kill us. An' it wouldn't'a been the first time, neither. It ain't like I wanna throw those people who are stirrin' up trouble out, but we don't know if they're capable o' somethin' like that."
Carol was silent for a moment, then she said, "That's what makes you one of the good ones. You want to protect your people, and I don't fault you for not trusting those new people. I know you don't just want to get rid of them for no reason."
Daryl closed his eyes and she hugged him tight and kissed him lightly.
"Don't wanna be takin' chances. Couldn't stand it if we give 'em another shot and they end up hurtin' people. Hurtin' you. An' I know you can take care o' yourself, I know that, but what if they just ain't good people?"
Carol nodded and pressed her lips to the top of his head. "I know it's a risk to give them another chance. We don't have to trust them completely, but we have to give them a chance to prove what kind of people they really are, good or bad."
Daryl sighed. The thought of something happening to Carol made his blood run cold.
"There isn't any sense in worrying," Carol said, seeming to sense his train of thought. "We can't plan for the future anymore. All we have is right now. Can't we just enjoy what we have right now and not think about all the different things that can go wrong tomorrow?"
Daryl knew she wasn't just talking about the situation with the troublemakers.
"That what we're doin' here?" he asked tentatively.
Carol contemplated his question for a moment, responding to his sudden stiffness with reassuring strokes.
"Yeah," she said finally. "Maybe the world will get right again and we can figure it out then. But until that happens, I like what we have going here. Just taking it a day at a time."
Daryl looked up at her and nodded, relieved.
"Besides," she said in a lighter tone, leaning in to whisper in his ear. "I like the other stuff, too."
Daryl snorted and readjusted so he was on his back and she was cuddled into his side.
"M'alright if ya wanna keep doin' that too," he returned.
Carol giggled and snuggled into him. He felt a hundred times lighter after unloading what had been weighing on his mind, and knowing she didn't think any less of him. He was still incredulous at everything that had transpired between them, and was able to drift off with the pleasant security of knowing she would be there when he woke up.
Daryl awoke in the early hours to what sounded like a monsoon pounding on the unyielding walls of the prison. Carol was sleeping soundly, still pressed tight against his chest, and Daryl contemplated if he should even bother trying to hunt. He decided to check out how bad it was outside, and managed to extract himself from Carol's vice grip without waking her. After a quick trip to one of the exits, he concluded there would be no point in trying to hunt in the freezing downpour. The warm summer thunderstorms were finished for the season, and the rain that morning was the cold, bitter kind of rain that announces the end of summer and beginning of the colder months. Daryl was mildly disappointed that hunting would be useless and thought he might as well stay up now that he was awake, but the thought of crawling back into a warm bed with Carol proved too tempting to resist.
Carol stirred when he lost his balance while pulling his boots off and ended up knocking over her chair when he struggled for support. She groaned at the rude awakening.
"Like a bull in a china shop," she muttered teasingly as he pulled back the blankets and slid his arm under her head to pull her close again.
"Sorry," he said softly. "Hoped I wouldn't wake ya."
"Too rainy?" she asked sleepily, molding her body around him again.
"Mmhm," he said into her temple, running his finger lightly over the curve of her ear and down her neck. "Go back to sleep for a little while."
Carol tilted her head back to look at him and his heart thudded in his chest at how adorable she was when she had just woken up, with her bleary eyes and tousled hair. She leaned in and he met her halfway with a gentle peck, causing Daryl to feel blood rush between his legs and rekindle the morning wood he'd woken up with. Embarrassed, he tried to readjust before she noticed but Carol was already giggling.
"Morning," she said, and kissed him again.
Daryl's cheeks burned, but there wasn't any way to hide it.
"Mornin'," he said in response, followed with a muttered, "Sorry. Can't help it."
Carol chuckled and she rolled until she was lying fully on top of him. Daryl liked her warm weight pressing on him and even in the faint light he noticed her eyes brighten.
"Who said you have to help it?" she asked, then leaned her head down to trail little kisses down his jaw and neck. Daryl's eyes flew open and he inhaled sharply, her warm presence and sweet scent invading his senses from all angles. He burned with desire every time her mouth moved to a new place on his goosebumped skin, and he breathed heavily into her hair to savour the sensation. Carol smiled between each teasing, maddeningly delicate kiss, and he involuntarily ground his hips up against her in response, his hard length straining between them. When she had finally covered each inch of his exposed neck and collarbone with her lips, Carol sat back on his legs to tug his shirt off with a devilish smile on her face. Before Daryl had even pulled it all the way over his head she had already descended back to his skin, gently nipping and licking a roadmap all over his chest and stomach. Carol's hands started to roam lower, and the rain outside mercifully drowned out Daryl's growl when she firmly stroked him over his clothes.
"God, Carol," he moaned as she shifted herself lower on the bed and ran her lips over the waistband of his boxer shorts. His vision completely tunnelled, and he was unable to focus on anything but Carol and the desperate need she was stirring within him as she suckled gently on his lower stomach just above his underwear. Carol bit her lip as she tugged at the worn elastic, letting out a soft giggle when he finally sprang free. She toyed with him for a moment, and Daryl couldn't remember ever feeling so utterly helpless before, completely at the mercy of the beautiful woman in front of him who was stroking his cock delicately with her impossibly soft hands.
Daryl's eyes rolled back in his head and he cursed every deity there was when she enveloped him in her mouth for the first time. She only went as far as his head the first time, swirling her tongue teasingly before pulling back and then taking almost all of him the second time. Her mouth was impossibly wet, impossibly hot, and she was impossibly skilled at coordinating her lips, tongue, suction, and hands. Carol immediately found a rhythm that suited both of them, giving gently twists and pulls with her hand in time with her bobbing motions, and it was all Daryl could do to remember to breathe. The rain outside was a merciful muffler to the sounds she was causing him to make, but the mighty groan and string of expletives he let out when her fingers found his balls were likely heard by half the prison, if not the state of Georgia. Daryl knew Carol was enjoying every one of his responses, from the way his muscles twitched and tightened to his low whimpers, as he could feel her smirking smugly each time he alternated curse words and her name.
"Carol," he sputtered. He was nearing the point of no return and wanted to be inside her when he came, but she wasn't relenting. "Carol," he said again, in a more desperate voice. "I'm… goddammit, Carol…"
With one hand he was white knuckling the sheets, and with the other he was pawing at her shoulder for her to lift her head from his skin, but she pinned that hand to the bed and mercilessly picked up her pace. Daryl's breaths were coming fast and ragged, and he smacked a hand to his mouth as his vision went white and he spilled over into Carol's mouth, with a strangled "FUCK! Carol... fuck, goddamn."
Daryl lay limp, spent, and satiated on the sheets, and when he finally regained the strength to glance down he was met with a sight he'd imagined countless times but never thought would be: Carol, with her lips all red and shiny, was cleaning him up gently with her mouth. Her eyes held a wicked sparkle when she looked up at him, and Daryl could not reconcile what she had just done to him with the sweet, innocent front she put up to everyone else. Carol finished her task and crawled up to rest in the crook of his arm.
"Jesus, Carol," was all Daryl could muster in a weak voice.
"Not sure why you're so out of breath," Carol said slyly. "When I'm the one who did all the work."
"You're amazin'," he mumbled. "Amazin'. Never woulda guessed you had that in ya."
Carol giggled into his neck and he pressed kiss after kiss into her forehead, hoping to convey everything he felt for her without words.
"If you stick around for awhile you might be surprised," she said coyly, and brought her hand up to push the sweaty hair from his face.
"Mmm," Daryl hummed. She traced soothing little patterns into his chest, and he vaguely thought that he must have done something great in a past life to end up with a woman like her. She wasn't just Carol anymore, she was an inextricable part of him, just as much of a necessity as the air he was breathing.
He loved her, that was for sure, and he was almost sure she loved him back, but something caught in his throat whenever he tried to find the words to say. He had never loved anyone in his life, save for maybe his mother and Merle, but those were toxic loves. He didn't know how to love someone without hurting them, or without getting hurt right back, so Daryl figured that if he could keep it inside for the time being he could protect himself in some small way. He compromised instead with tracing the letters in light repetitions over her shoulder, mostly wishing she wouldn't notice but halfway hoping she would.
