A/N: I've risen from the dead once again! I'm officially off my hiatus and I am now a certified High School graduate! Now that means that I am in summer break (FINALLY) so I get to focus on my stories more often and update them more frequently.
Thank you all for being so patient with me!
Your memory is a monster; you forget—it doesn't. It simply files things away. It keeps things for you, or hides things from you—and summons them to your recall with a will of its own. You think you have a memory; but it has you! ~John Irving, A Prayer for Owen Meany, 1989
Chapter 7: The Change
"When will you return?"
Teal eyes look at her, and she could tell he was considering the question by how he furrowed his brows in thought. She could also tell when he was getting annoyed of her questions by how he scowled and by how he told her to leave him alone but she didn't care.
She liked spending her time with him. She enjoyed his company despite the many times he pushed her away. She was intrigued by him. He was the only link to her brother other than Rukia.
"That really is none of your concern." He finally answers after a long pause, sounding indifferent and simply uninterested in their conversation.
She blinks at him, frowning at his answer, "That doesn't answer my question, Toshiro."
Again, there was silence. And Karin stared at him intently, waiting for his answer. "Look, I get it. I'm a nuisance to you, we barely met, but that doesn't mean you should ignore me whenever you want. I asked you a genuine question which deserves a genuine answer. Don't you think?"
He sighs from beside her, and from where she was sitting, she could see him staring off into the distance. He had a tendency to do that, she noticed. He's always got something in his mind and she wants to know exactly what he's thinking.
"It's an impossible question." Toshiro says, still not looking at her, "This could be the last time I return to this place."
She blinks at him and they sit in silence once more.
She tried not to feel disappointed by his answer.
A loud roar breaks through the air, creating a strong gust of wind which caught her by surprise.
Karin curses under her breath. She has managed to escape the hollow's death grip with minor scratches but she is feeling exhausted. She's never felt this way before, especially during a battle. It feels like it gradually crept up on her, her stamina was now dangerously low.
With one last swing of her blade, she decides to call it a day.
Toshiro's eyes shot open.
There it is again, the sudden spike that has him feeling restless and he could only imagine who it is.
He scowls at the thought.
A week. He's been here for a week yet he still can't find his objective. He certainly feels it when it appears, noticing how weak and unstable it is. It is hardly a threat. But that damn spiritual pressure always comes and goes, making it difficult to track and he must know who it is before heading back. He can't return empty handed because that will mean that he failed to do what he was asked. A mission like this shouldn't be difficult for someone of his rank.
He didn't think he was going to stay here for so damn long.
He pinches the bridge of his nose. He was beginning to grow impatient, he has already scouted the city multiple times but he still hasn't been able to find the person that has all of soul society in high alert. They always seem to appear in the most inconvenient of times and he somehow struggles to get there on time, always arriving once the hollow had been dealt with.
Arriving and finding no one there.
He sighs, his eyes scouting the area where he last sensed it and frowning when he saw the area empty. He gradually felt their energy decreasing, which means that there is a chance that they didn't go so far... or maybe they did. He doesn't know. He's not going to bother searching for them. He decides to wait for their next appearance, and this time, he will be more alert.
He sits back, watching as the sun set and hoping for something he knows will be impossible. He also can't help feel like he is forgetting something but he can't quite put his finger on it. He's had that feeling ever since he spoke with Urahara Kisuke. And since then, Urahara hasn't contacted him. That idiot of a man is hard to confide in, he realizes, it is difficult to know when he is being honest with his word though he has proved time and time again that he is their ally. Maybe the man really didn't know anything about the mysterious riatsu. Maybe his suspicion was wrong. That could be the only reason why there has been no contact. He shouldn't have expected much from him to begin with. He never did assure anything.
And now, if only there was something, anything that could help him find this mystery person he would thank Kami from the bottom of his exhausted heart.
The sudden beeping takes him out of his brooding thoughts and he stares at his phone, eyebrows furrowed. He answers.
"Taichoooo~!" Rangiku said a bit too loudly for his taste. She sounded excited for some odd reason and he wasn't in the mood to put up with her antics at this very moment.
And he grimaces, "Matsumoto, why are you calling me?"
"That's no way to greet your fukutaicho." he could hear the pout in her voice, "We miss you, taicho, doing all this paper work really is exhausting I don't understand how you manage."
"Call it decades of experience..." He pauses for a moment, "...how's Momo?"
"You miss her already?" She cooed. He could only imagine her smirking on the other line.
"It's not like that." A tick mark appears on his forehead, "I'm just concerned."
She's laughing that boisterous laugh, as if someone had told her a joke, "She's fine taicho I was only kidding." She clears her throat, "But more importantly... have you found anything yet?"
"If you're referring to the mission I was sent here to complete, no I have not." He releases a heavy sigh, "It comes and goes, it's a nuisance! It wouldn't take me so long if you had accompanied me." He's raising his voice, he noticed, immediately regretting it as Rangiku stayed silent on the other line. "I'm sorry, Matsumoto, I didn't think I was going to stay here for so long. I'm... aggravated."
"Oh?" Rangiku's tone of voice had changed, "I never thought you'd be one to get so frustrated after a couple days."
Toshiro scowls, running a hand through his already disheveled hair, "I'm not in the mood for your teasing, Matsumoto. I haven't slept properly, it always comes in the most inconvenient of times, and it's difficult to track."
"The thing or person or whatever may be closer than you think, taicho. Don't over think it."
"Trust me when I say this, I have looked at every possible location this city has to offer. There is not much else I could do."
"Are you giving up?"
He stays silent for a moment, thinking over her question ...Am I giving up? Did it sound like he was giving up? Is that what she got out of this phone call? Am I... giving up... He tightens his grip on his phone. "No. I'm not. I'm giving myself more time before I head back and if I find nothing out then I'll tell the head captain that it was a mistake choosing me for this mission."
"But tai-"
He cuts her off, "That would be all I could do in this situation, Matsumoto."
He frowns slightly at his own words. There is not much he could do.
"What the hell happened to me back there?" Karin was still feeling the affects of the battle with the previous hollow. Her head felt light and she stumbled into Urahara's shop, grabbing onto the nearest possible thing in order to keep herself steady.
Urahara sends Tessai to get them some hot tea and he's frowning at her. He's never frowned at her before. Not like that. "You're not focusing on the battle Karin-chan." Is what he tells her.
She grimaces, "What does that have to do with anything? My only thoughts are getting rid of the hollow."
He shakes his head, "It's obvious you're getting stronger but you're not concentrating. Your thoughts, even if you don't admit it, are somewhere else."
Karin scoffs. What does he know? What else could she possibly be thinking about? She grimaces as she drops herself into the cushioned seat and thanking Tessai for the tea. She looks at Urahara with narrowed eyes waiting for him to give her an explanation of what she's doing wrong. She waits for him to tell her why he thinks her mind is somewhere else.
He sighs, taking off his bucket hat and gently placing it beside him, he is studying her. "Are you regretting this choice you made?"
Karin is taken aback by the question, her eyes slightly widened. She was not expecting it at all. "What makes you say that?" Her brows furrowed as she waited for him to respond.
Urahara sighs once more, "You are so much like your brother, Karin, your emotions are evident on your face. I could tell that you're hesitating."
"Don't compare me to Ichi-nii." She said through grit teeth, clenching her jaw, "You know how I don't like that." She frowns, "And I wouldn't necessarily call it hesitating either, It's more like a precaution."
Urahara raises a questioning brow, "A precaution because you don't want to over do it or because of something else? If you're not going to take this seriously, Karin-chan, then I cannot help you."
His tone of voice was serious, Karin noticed, but she could only shake her head and laugh slightly at his words, "I didn't want to over do it. That is all."
A frown formed on the man's lips, his eyes narrowing slightly, "Do you remember your reason for choosing this path?"
"How could I forget?" She could feel herself growing angry, "Yuzu was in danger and Ichigo nor the other shinigami were around to help save her. I was powerless."
"What about captain Hitsugaya?"
She scowls, clenching her hands into fists, "Toshiro has nothing to do with my decision."
Urahara raises a questioning eyebrow, "Don't you want to see your beloved friend? You were pretty close to him, even for a human."
Karin frowns, "I was a nuisance to him." She finally said. Admitting that to herself hurt more than she thought it would, her heart suddenly felt much heavier, "I don't think I was ever close to him."
She thinks back to the last time she saw him. She remembers how hesitant he was, how cold she felt because somewhere deep inside herself she knew she wasn't going to see him ever again. She was a fool for forcing him to make a promise she knew he wasn't going to keep. She never should have gotten so close to him because in the end she was the only one waiting.
"Karin-chan, are you still expecting him?"
She looks down at her cup, seeing her own reflection in the warm liquid, "No."
She had stopped expecting anything from him.
A/N: It appears as though Karin has had some doubts about her friendship with Toshiro but their destined meeting is closer than she thinks and she just might get her answer ;)
Any who, please review and tell me what you think. I would love to know you guys are thinking.
