I woke up screaming in pain, very cold, the total opposite of all the other times I woke up after a crazy event. I was at a hospital with a bunch of nurses and a doctor crowded around me. I wanted to kill someone. I frantically looked around for Jack, but I couldn't see him anywhere in the room.
"Where's Jack," I cried.
One of the nurses walked over to me, "Ma'am lay back," she said.
"Where's Jack!" I yelled again.
"Put her out," the doctor said.
The nurse stuck a needle in my arm, and yet again, everything went black.
January 3, 1913
I woke up with a very uncomfortable nose tube in me. I was in a different room, but still in the hospital. Jack bent over me and held my face.
"I love you," I said to him.
He smiled and kissed my forehead.
"Jack, what happened?"
"The baby was born only a month early. He's really small and fragile, well, more fragile than a baby should be at least."
"He? Can I see him?"
"Yeah, I haven't seen him yet. Here."
Jack helped me take my nose tube out, and we slowly walked out of the room to the nursery. I turned to Jack and buried my face in him and held my breath when I saw Cal talking to someone at the service desk. That must have been Cal who had been banging on our door the other night. Jack slowly rubbed my back and started walking again. We were going to have to pass him to get to the nursery.
Cal turned his head towards us and walked over.
"Rose," he said lovingly taking my hand. "I need to speak with you….In private."
"Anything you have to say to Rose, you can say in front of me," Jack said taking my hand and holding it tightly.
Cal gave Jack a grim look before he walked away.
"He's going to come back," I said. "He's not going to give up."
"Excuse me, Mr. and Mrs. Dawson?" a nurse said half way out of the nursery door. "Would you like to hold your son for a while?"
I smiled and walked over quickly towards her. I can't even explain the emotions I felt when I first laid eyes on my first born, my baby, mine and Jack's baby. The nurse picked him up and handed him to me. He weighed three pounds and seven ounces. I gently kissed him as he stared upon me for the first time. I turned around and gave him to Jack to hold. Jack smiled at him, and then looked up at me with such joy in his face. The nurse put the baby back down and handed us a sheet of paper to fill out. We walked back into the room and looked over it. We filled out both our names and birthdates before choosing a name for our baby. We had finally decided to name him Marshall Alexander. Marshall for Jack's father, and Alexander for my father. Marshall Alexander Dawson.
January 7, 1913
We were escorted back to Molly Brown's sister's house, which was where we went in the first place, with Marshall. Jack wanted to move again, since Cal had an idea where we were right now. I told him that I was behind him every step of the way. Molly had given us money to rent a small apartment in none other than Santa Monica, California. Jack found another job, and I stayed home with Marshall. I was eighteen years old, and all the other girls my age were out doing what Jack and I had talked about doing on the Titanic, but I couldn't have been happier than I was living with Jack and a beautifully cute baby boy. I told Jack that when Marshall turned a year old, I would enroll him in a daycare and find a job to help pay the bills.
Everything was going great. Though every time I noticed myself having high moments, I worried that something awful was going to happen, and break me down and back into my depressive and weak self again. I tried not to think of Cal at all. I tried to pretend I had never even tried suicide on the Titanic, I tried to block all the bad memories out, but it was too hard.
