Hatred into Love

Spoilers: All Season 1 and Season 2 of the 100; Spoilers from San Diego Comic Con The 100 Panel

Disclaimer: I own nothing!


Instead of a hand to her shoulder, Clarke woke to the sun on her face and the warmth of furs cocooning her. She opened her eyes to see the window that stood against the wall of the guest quarters she resided in, the sun seemed to flood the room as she continued to wake. Sitting up, Clarke took in the room in the daylight instead of the fires that had burned out during the night. The walls were gray and the floor was covered in rugs that had been created from cloth and furs. The bed was three times any bed she'd seen and was beyond comfortable, as was expected with her being a guest. A table rested against the wall but it was bare as if waiting to be covered in something. The large chair that rested beside it looked to be more for functionality than comfort.

A knock on the door made Clarke turn her head towards the wooden barrier. "Enter." The door opened and two teenagers stood in the doorway, one holding a tray and the other had a cloth bundle wrapped with twine. Both smiled and moved inside, placing both on the bed while a middle-aged woman picked up the clothes on the floor. The girls giggled as Clarke fumbled from bed to take the clothes from the woman. "You don't have to do that."

"You are guest of Polis, it is my assigned task." The woman's English was simple enough to be fully understood but it wasn't refined like that which Lincoln and Lexa spoke.

"I assure you it's fine, please leave them." She held out her hands to accept the clothes and the woman gave her a displeased look as she handed them back. "Mochof. What is your name?"

The woman moved to the girls and turned them around. "Ara, call if you require anything Wanheda."

"I'm sure if I need something I can find it, you don't have to do everything for me."

The girls continued to giggle and quick Trigedasleng was thrown at both by Ara, who was no doubt their mother. The door shut behind them and Clarke looked down at the bed as she placed the clothes on the furs, seeing that the tray was filled with fruits, breads, cheeses and dried meats. It was food she'd seen during history lessons on the Ark but never had the chance to taste. Immediately grabbing a piece of cheese, she found herself overwhelmed by the taste and leaned back on the bed, it was the best thing she'd ever tasted before.


Walking through the palace later in the day, Clarke found various people either starring at her or bowing their head in respect. She allowed herself to just smile and ignore any attention she gave, she only asked for directions once and was redirected towards the east wing as she searched for the woman that made her home in the large palace. The east wing was the same as the rest of the palace, marble and stone with some wood and rugs through around in placed.

Guards at various doors alerted her that she was probably in the right place. The four armed men at one door told her that Lexa lay behind it and she knocked on the wooden barrier as the guards just gave her a small glance. Obviously it meant she was allowed to be in that place, they wouldn't dismiss her or run her through for daring to interrupt Lexa. A quick raised voice in Trigedsleng made Clarke open the door and she found Lexa standing at a window looking out at the ground below.

"You cause trouble with my staff on your first morning as a guest." Lexa stated as Clarke closed the door behind her. "Ara was very worried at your actions and I had to reassure the woman that while you are Wanheda, you do not allow others to do what you can do yourself."

Clarke brushed her hand along the table in the middle of the room, surveying what seemed to be Lexa's private quarters. A bed as big as her own lay against the wall and bookshelves held books and scrolls alike. The table had several chairs and Clarke paused at the drawing of two girls by a river that lay on the wall. "Did you do this?"

"No," Lexa moved to Clarke and let herself eye the drawing. "Costia's mother drew the two of us as children, it was before I was called to be Heda. It was a union gift, or at least was meant to be." The brunette moved away and grabbed a pitcher, pouring water into a cup.

"You couldn't marry her could you?" Clarke's voice dropped as it often did when she spoke with Lexa of Costia. She knew the pain that mentioning the girl brought to Lexa. "Her mother thought it would happen and it didn't."

"Costia's mother hates me and while her tongue should have been cut out long ago for her words, I allow her to speak." Lexa turned and Clarke found green eyes staring at the picture. "She blames me for her daughter's death, she said if I had not broken my vows and let Costia be with another then her daughter would still be alive. While the words hurt, they are no less true."

Clarke looked down at her hands, "I'm sorry."

"Do not apologize Clarke, you understand my pain but know I allowed you the relief I never received." She turned and returned to the window, "I allowed you to kill Finn so you would not see the pain he would suffer. I still remember the agonizing look on Costia's face when her head was returned to me, there was little doubt she suffered."

"Thank you."

"Do not thank me, I deserve your hatred on that matter and that of the mountain. I expect your anger and hatred to calm but I know it will always be there." She looked over to meet blue eyes before looking back out the window.


The blond ran her hand along the books on the shelf, seeing a few she had read on the Ark as a young girl. "May I borrow one of these?"

"You may have whichever you wish," Lexa moved away from the window and over to Clarke. "I cannot read the words written, they were meant as gifts but the words inside are meaningless to me."

Clarke removed a book and smiled, "my father used to read this to me all the time as a little girl. Alice in Wonderland, it's about a girl who goes to a magical land where impossible things happen."

"Then it is yours." Lexa smiled at her softly, "one must remember the good memories that contain those we have lost. You rarely speak of your father but I know his loss weighs heavy on you. I wish you to remember the good memories you shared together."

"I don't hate you, I'm angry with you but I don't hate you." Clarke turned to meet green eyes as she clutched the old book to her chest. "Thank you for this."

Lexa touched Clarke's arm, running her hand up the smooth skin till she rested her hand on her bicep. "Your marking will go here, on your weapon arm and shall be a design dedicated to Aven and Jula."

"Like yours." She nodded to Lexa's tattoo and the woman shook her head. "Why not?"

"The many lines represent Forsa's weaving through lifetimes, rebirth through many and there were four Heda before me so that is why I have four markings. You are the first to have a spirit split in devotion so the design will come from the temple, unique and beautiful as its holder."

Clarke turned away from Lexa and her compliments, the continued compliments and gifts confused the blond. Lexa's actions caused her to be angered, the anger laying just below the surface because she couldn't allow her actions to affect anyone so she kept it to herself. Lexa was patient, giving gifts and compliments to win affection while waiting for anger to calm down but it surprised Clarke that Lexa didn't expect the anger to go away. Most would expect her to forget about it, leave it in the past but the brunette that patiently stood beside her, giving smiles and encouragement, seemed to understand that such events as the mountain lead to a lifetime of anger. "I should go, leave you to whatever business you have."

"I was preparing to go to the stables to examine the new foals, perhaps you would like to accompany me." Lexa moved past Clarke to the door and stood by it. "You may choose a horse as your own, my stables have many yet to be claimed."

The idea of having a horse like the one Lexa had was something she found herself eager to have. One that no one could take and would only respond to commands she gave but she knew such commands took time and her time was limited in Polis. The likelihood of gaining such an animal was small so she'd choose her own horse instead of riding multiple horses at different times. It'd be nice to have one just her own, to name and groom and even ride whenever she wished.

Placing the book on the table, she walked towards Lexa. "Any horse?"

"Any from those unclaimed but I must examine the animal first before I allow you to have it. I will not allow you to be given a weak horse that cannot carry you or a wild horse that would injure you."


The walk to the stables was shorter than Clarke expected but they did pass the training grounds of the fledgling warriors, young children who were preparing to become thirds. She stopped to watch them and Lexa paused beside her, surveying with pride in her eyes. It looked like chaos, it wasn't organized or methodical as the children played what Clarke assumed was a massive game of tag. Children chasing each other, weaving around each other as if trying to avoid both the one chasing them and those they were dodging to get away.

"What are they doing?"

"Playing as children do." Lexa gave a soft smirk, "their play teaches them the skills of evasion. Tomorrow they will go into the forest with a dozen warriors and practice their silence. Our training does not demand weapons in their hands as soon as they walk, we allow them to be children and to learn as they play."

"When you told me Polis would change how I saw your people, I thought I had seen everything there was to know you are different." Clarke met green eyes, "I was wrong. You are more civilized than we were on the Ark in so many ways. I hope my people can learn from yours so that we can grow too."

Lexa moved forward towards the children and gave a soft whistle, all stood still as much as young children were able to. They all beamed at seeing Lexa and hurried to her, sitting on the ground at her feet in a large mass as if waiting to a story. "Heya yongons."

"Hello Heda." The children repeated back in English instead of Trigedasleng, something Clarke found cute but also amazing. The children ranged between four and eight, all seemed to be learning at a pace far beyond those of the outlying villages.

"Disha es Klark, lukot kom Trigeda."

The children smiled at Clarke and all replied at once. "Hello Clarke."

She smiled at them and waved, "hello, are you having fun?"

One of the girls raised her hand and Lexa nodded to her so she spoke. "What is fun?"

Clarke thought for a moment, "I meant are you enjoying your training?"

Eager heads nodded and one of the boys raised his hand so Clarke gave him a nod to allow him to speak. "Yu gona?"

"We speak the warrior's tongue during training Elm, speak again and take time if you require to speak correctly." Lexa was patient with the boy, calm and even her voice had a gentle tone to it when she spoke. This was something that Clarke noticed and couldn't help smiling at the fact.

"Are you warrior?" The boy had to be maybe four or five, Clarke realized he probably was still learning English.

"No I'm not a warrior, I'm…" she paused not knowing what she was besides a murderer and a former leader. Since she left camp and obviously if Lexa was dealing with her mother it meant new leadership had taken over. It made her question what she was besides Clarke. "I'm just a girl."

Giggles erupted and one of the older girls raised her hand, Lexa's nod allowed her to speak. "You cannot be simply a girl, you must be something. What is your assigned task with your people?"

"I lead my people but I had to leave them so now I have no task." Clarke smiled at them and shrugged. "When I go back I'll find out what I'm assigned to do but for now I'm just Clarke."

Another of the girls stood up despite not raising her hand and moved to Clarke, hugging her. She looked up at the woman with a smile. "I am sorry you had to leave your people, Trigeda will be your people if you have none."

"Thank you, what's your name?"

"Eva, I am seven winters." She backed up and sat down, keeping her eye low as Lexa gave her a parental glare that said all it needed to.

"Continue your training, I promised to show Clarke the stables."

The children all rose and bowed their heads in respect, one of the older boys raised his hand to ask a question. Lexa's nod allowed him to look at Clarke and ask the question she dreaded telling the children. "What clan do you come from?"

"Skaikru." She waited for their fear of her but there was buzzing of quick Trigedasleng, awed expressions and immediately a dozen questions asked.

They seemed to forget their placed and crowed around her asking anything and everything. Questions about the mountain, her people and where she came from were all asked at once. Some of the questions made her want to laugh and others made her want to hide in her bed for days, like asking how many mountain men she killed. Lexa seemed to sense her unease as she moved over and all the children took a step back.

"Your training must continue, I shall see if Clarke came come by your quarters this evening to tell you of her time in the sky and her journey to the ground. For now, return to your training."

As with all warriors, her orders were obeyed and they went back to their training. One of the older warriors redirected them towards their game and Lexa gently pulled Clarke away. The blond was silent as they moved towards the stables, she didn't want to even go anymore in favor of returning to her bed. Lexa's silence and patient understanding instead of speaking about the issue was the only thing that stopped Clarke lashing out in anger at the woman. Once again the fault of the mountain rested on the brunette beside her but Clarke calmed her anger so no one would suffer for her recklessness.


The stables were huge but modest at the same time, pens held enough space the horses could exercise while the metal and wood structure housed mothers and foals. Clarke touched one of the horses that stuck it's head out of the stall it was housed in.

"Hello there." She chuckled when a foal stuck it's small head over the door as well. "Hi there little guy." She attempted to touch it but it backed up, clearly skittish.

Lexa moved around Clarke, untying the rope that kept the door in place and opened it to go inside. Clarke move behind her and let her tie the rope back so the door wouldn't open while they were inside. "The foals are always examined, weaker horses are left as pray for the animals of the forest so they do not venture into the city and harm those here."

Clarke petted the mother while Lexa examined the foal, the young horse wasn't skittish around Lexa. Instead it tried to chew on her hair, that allowed Clarke to laugh for the first time since the day before playing with the children in the park. Finally the woman stood and petted the neck of the black foal. "Does he get to live?"

"He is strong and will one day carry someone." Lexa smiled at Clarke, "so yes he will live."

Three more foals were examined and all found healthy, something Lexa said never occurred. There was always one foal that was weak or deformed, it caused Clarke to just smile as they walked towards the pens of available horses. Climbing onto the wooden fence, Clarke allowed herself to examine the horses and decide which three she liked best.

As soon as her three favorites were chosen, Lexa had one of the horse caretakers bring the horses out to be examined. Clarke hoped that the black mare was healthy enough, she felt the horse was hers but she knew no matter what she wanted, Lexa would not give her the horse if it was lame or wild. The first horse, a roan mare, jumped when Lexa tried to examine her leg so the woman backed off.

"Put this one up, it's not suitable for Wanheda." It was a command and immediately one of the caretakers took the horse back to the pen.

Lexa examined the second, a white stallion and it was perfectly fine. Clarke realized that even if she didn't gain the black mare, the white stallion was just as perfect. "She's the one I want so I'm hoping she's fine."

"She does not startle and is already affectionate with you." Lexa noticed how the horse nudged at Clarke as she petted the animal's neck. "I shall examine her and determine if she is strong."

In the end, Lexa had the caretakers leave with the white stallion. Clarke smiled as she rubbed the horse's neck, "you're mine." The horse seemed to just knicker and go for Clark's hair, she laughed as she pushed the horse's head away.

"Come Clarke, it is nearly noon and you need to prepare for your marking."

Clarke ran her hand down the horse's back, "nobody will take her?"

"No, she will be placed in the stables with my own horse so she is not seen as unclaimed." Lexa motioned to one of the men and he came over. "Place the horse with my own, give it the same treatment as my own receives."

"Sha Heda." The caretaker took the horse from Clarke and walked it into the stables.


By the time they reached the palace, it seemed something big had occurred. People were buzzing around, preparing things and Clarke saw from a window that the town was busier than what she'd seen since her arrival. Pausing at a window she looked to the side to see Lexa waiting.

"What is going on?"

"The ceremony is celebrated by all, you are Wanheda not a simple warrior. Preparations for the festival tonight are underway and it will be accessible to all of Polis. Your marking will be done in public so all know who you are."

"I didn't realize…"

"That you are to be celebrated?" Clarke nodded, "I shall inform all that come that no questions can be asked about the mountain. I will not subject you to something you find repulsive Clarke, but the people will be allowed to thank you."

Clarke rubbed her arms, "they're thanking me for genocide."

"They are thanking you for their freedom."

"Same difference." She started walking and Lexa caught up to walk beside her.

"Clarke…"

"Just leave me alone." Clarke stopped and turned to face Lexa, "I don't want any of this. I respect your culture, I love your city but all of this isn't what I want. I just want to go home Lexa, to my people and try to put the past behind me. I did your trial, you get to give me the stupid title but it's over, I want to go home." Without another word she ran down the hall, ignoring those that stood watching her after her yelling fit. Lexa looked around and everyone continued to go about their business.


The sound of a knock on the wooden door to her room made Clarke look at the window to see it was getting darker, it was nearly night. The knock became persistent but she ignored it till the door opened and slammed shut. Sitting up she saw Marta standing by the door.

"You disrespect us, we give you the trial that is given to very few and instead of doing what is expected of you, you whine like a child."

Clarke shook her head, "you can think what you want Marta but I don't answer to you."

"I am a voice to the gods, you will answer me child!" The woman moved over to Clarke and grabbed her arm, pulling her up. "You will receive the marking and then you will leave this city never to return."

"Get away from me." Clarke pulled the knife from her hip and put to the woman's belly. "I don't answer to you, Heda doesn't answer to you and you need to understand that just because you devoted your life to your gods, it doesn't make you one."

"How dare you!" The woman slapped Clarke as she backed up. "The gods chose me to speak for them and you are nothing, passing the trial means nothing if you do not believe in them. You are not Aven's messenger no matter what is said, you walk with death and you will destroy us all when you align with Azkru Kwin."

Clarke narrowed her eyes, "I'll never align with her, the reader was wrong."

"I was the reader and I know what I saw, you will align with her and you will destroy us." She twisted Clarke's hand and grabbed the knife with the other, holding it to her throat. "But claiming your blood before you can harm us will protect us."

A knock on the door made Clarke swallow, "do you want to risk someone witnessing you trying to kill me?"

"Tell them to go away."


The knock was persistent and before Clarke could answer the door opened to show Lexa. The woman's eyes narrowed and she instantly drew her knife, throwing it at Marta. Like with Quint, it landed in her wrist, allowing her to drop the knife.

"Heda…"

Lexa was across the room and grabbing Marta by her cloak, pushing her into the wall. "You dare harm her? To harm her is to harm me, to attack her is to attack me."

"She thinks I'll align with Azkru Kwin." Clarke spoke as she neared the two.

"Voice of the gods or not, your blood will answer for what you have done." She looked to Clarke, "get the guards in the hallway."

"Okay." Clarke left the room and Lexa stared the woman in the eyes.

"She is my future kwin, chosen by the gods and you attempted to take her life." Lexa hissed as Marta's eyes went wide. "You will undergo the entire death by a thousand cuts, not even Clarke's mercy could save you at this moment."

Clarke return with the guards and they filed into the room. "Heda?" One of the men looked at her and she pulled her knife from Marta's wrist, handing her off.

"Take her to the prison, she will suffer for her attempt on Wanheda."

The men dragged her away, Marta silently begged with her eyes to be spared but neither woman said anything. Clarke finally turned to Lexa and instantly the brunette raised a hand to Clarke's neck.

"I'm fine."

"She drew blood." Lexa looked to Clarke's eyes, "I have come to tell you that while the people celebrate, the marking will be done in private at the temple. I do not wish you to suffer Clarke and to take this mark, to become Wanheda means that when we lead together against Azkru Kwin one day, you shall command my army as if they were yours. You are equal to me, above all the clans and this will allow your people to trade with ease. The clans cannot deny you, they would not wish to."

Clarke let herself think about it, about how it would allow trade and her people would survive the coming winter. It would give her power in battle instead of relying solely on Lexa and most of all, it would give her the ability to challenge Lexa on everything without being punished for it. No one would be able to suffer if she did anything reckless, she'd be an official equal to the woman and nothing could be done to stop her.

"Let's go to the temple."


Pain radiated through Clarke's arm as the marker applied the marking that Maxim had designed. It was simpler than Lexa's but the pain was not something she was accustomed to. A band across her arm with circles, each containing a small asterisk while a second band underneath that one was pure black with lines falling underneath. The first band signified Aven's claim, he was god of the stars and always guided everything around them. The second was Jula's claim, the lines noting the many lives lost and those to come.

"You must breathe Clarke." Lexa spoke softly as she sat beside Clarke, the marker almost finished with the third of the fourth lines. "Once he is finished, you will receive a salve to calm the skin and take the pain away."

Clarke looked at the woman beside her, "how many do you have?"

"Many, one after every battle."

"After the Mountain?" Clarke asked and Lexa nodded, "can I see it?"

Lexa removed her jacket so her she only sat in her tank top, pulling the edge of the tank top down she showed the image that sat above her left breast. Clarke reached up with her free hand but dropped her hand before it touched Lexa's skin. It was a simple design of a four point star but flames surrounded the edges between the points. Lexa returned her tank top to the proper place and pulled her jacket on. "It was the most painful as every mark reminded me of my choice to leave you at the mountain."

"What does it mean?"

"It symbolizes the fight I endured beside Skaikru."

The marker pulled away from Clarke and she turned to see him dabbing at her arm with a cloth. For the first time she looked at her skin and the black ink that was permanent, the design was indeed beautiful. She looked to Lexa, "what do you think?"

"Unique and beautiful as the one it resides on."

Trigedasleng passed from the marker to Clarke but Lexa intercepted the comment. Clarke watched as Lexa spoke, her tone was more in reassurance than harshness. The man put the salve on Clarke's arm and instantly the blond felt relief from pain. "What did he say?"

"You are to keep your arm dry and clean for three days." She motioned to him so Clarke would see that he was wrapping her arm. "Treat it as you would a wound, as a healer you can do this with little effort."

"When can I go home?"

Lexa gave a soft smile, "I will take you tomorrow, it will be a two day journey as you are aware that it is a day's ride from Tondc."

"Mochof." Clarek spoke as the marker packed up his materials to leave. "And to you Maxim, for all your support."


A/N: This was a super long chapter but you saw alot of Clarke's inner thoughts and finally Marta was put in her place.

Next: Clarke returns home and to a few surprises.

Please read and review...