This is living, this is breathing and this is life…
"Charles" she whines, sitting turned in her seat in front of me. I am trying hard to ignore her, letting my hair fall over my face and hide her from my vision but she is adamant. This would be her third 'Charles' if I prolong this…
"Charles, come on…" she groans, rolling her eyes and her friend seated besides her snickers abruptly. "Don't be such a dickhead…"
"Leave me alone" I drawl-pausing my writing momentarily to glare at her. Her eyes go wide when they meet mine, her breathing halts momentarily before a pompous scowl graces her face.
"I just want to know…" she murmurs low and venomous "If it is true that your sister… has been in jail"
"She is not my sister…" I sigh, doodling circles next to my little philosophical angsty poem.
"Whatever…" Abigail snaps. "She was in jail right…"
"Whatever" I sigh grating her with my professionally conducted evasion. "Whatever makes your life more bearable… if my 'sister' being in 'jail' helps keep things interesting then… lets go with that"
"You're a weird hot mess, you know that?" she hissed, the rest of her cussing droned out by the bell.
"I know" I murmur, collecting my stationery and leaving Abigail and her gossip partner to giggle and glare at my indifferent form walking away. "Believe me… I know"
Xx~xx~xX
This would be my last day at this God-Forsaken school. This would be the last day they had me as the subject of their mystery induced gossip and pathetic creepy list. This would be the last day it would be just Leah and I… everything was going to change.
The lawns are parched-a sad yellow colour gracing the front of each house I pass, cars coated in a thin sheet of dust and the sun bearing down hard on my head. It's hot, unbelievably searing hot and I wouldn't have it any other way. There is no one outside, there are no people staring suspiciously at my awkward skinny dishevelled form looming through their perimeters. And more importantly there is no one from my school with a ready comment or brutal shove waiting at the corner before I reach home.
There are a lot of things I don't have a say in-never directly anyway-and moving to Alaska was one of them. Moving to a family I hadn't really seen in years for whatever reason, moving for a more permanent time period and moving with my Dad to stay with my Mom's family. There are all kinds of strange coating this little development-and I am used to odd developments with Leah-but this one, it makes my skin hot and my mind cloud over.
Leah and I being alone is easy and uncomplicated. She never lies but she never says the truth; ask no questions hear no lies in the single rule between us. She never wants to lie to me and I never want to put her in that position and because it is Leah… there has to be a good reason for things being the way they are.
Because it is Leah; I wont let it be known that I have dreams of giant wolves, that when I get angry my senses go into over drive and I hear, feel and taste the air like it has increased exponentially to my reality. I wont ask why she always insists the houses we live in be near woodlands, why she kind-of-sort-of hates my Grandma Bella and blames her as the root to everything (I can't even ask what 'everything' entails), why she wants me to understand Mum's situation but on the flip side she gets terrifyingly angry every time Dad has his severe despairing depression episodes because of said situation…
I keep it to myself because I don't want to hurt her and I know she is protecting me from it.
Protecting me from my fucked up sixteen year old life with the joy's of absent mother's and miserable alcoholic father's…
But it doesn't mean I am not on a mission to decipher it and this crappy move might be the biggest clue to all these non-answers and quiet-drama's…
Xx~xx~xX
"You are early" Leah murmurs, waltzing through the kitchen door-still buttoning her shirt and simultaneously trying to free her choppy hairs glory of leaves and twigs sticking out flamboyantly.
"Hmm" I mumble eyeing her carefully from behind my sandwich as she dances to my side, ruffling my hair easily from her height and making a bee line for the refrigerator.
"You're usually like…" she huffs, prodding things back and forth in the fridge and grumbling when she can't find the chocolate sauce-which is seated prominently on the table in front of me. "Maybe an hour late"
An hour late due to fighting of neighbourhood rejects and defending my 'homeless look' and weird hair colour not to mention my super hot "aunt's" reputation…
"I didn't dillydally today" I sigh, waving the chocolate sauce in the air, watching mesmerized as her 'chocoholic grin' spreads on her face and constricts my throat, when she sees the bottle finally.
She hums excitedly while squeezing the gooey sugary spread on the bread.
"Don't you worry about diets and getting fat?" I murmur and she picks the bread up slow and deliberate while locking my eyes to hers, sauce spilling over and oozing down onto the counter-grinning evilly behind the bread before taking an exaggerated bite-sauce going over her lips and dribbling down her chin.
"What I worry about…" she mumbles with her mouth full of bread while chewing, talking and breathing simultaneously-before wiping her mouth with the back of her hand and smearing brown all over "Is you talking like that"
"Talking like what?"
"I didn't dillydally today" she mimic's me-hitching exaggeratedly were my voice croaks and splinters before smoothing over awkwardly and I blush, looking away from her and glaring at our crappy refrigerator.
"What's wrong with that" I grumble.
"You talk like Edward"
"Well…" I say carefully watching as she looks away-never intending on mentioning a 'Cullen' "That can't be right… I haven't seen Grandpa Edward…"
"Uh… cousin Edward" she squeaks-a quirk when she is sort-of-kind-of lying to me.
"Okay then…" I roll my eyes, remembering how a few years ago Grandpa Edward had become Uncle Edward… "I haven't seen Cousin Edward for me to be adopting anything remotely like him"
"Hmm" she mutters, preparing another two chocolate sandwiches and trying to rush our conversations ending.
"Any other family relations that have suddenly change that I should know about?" I ask her dryly, picking my plate up and taking it to the sink-trying not to let the oddity of this subject get me worked up… I can't afford to be angry on such a hot day.
"I mean…" I breathe, grabbing the yellow sponge rather violently and pouring the dishwashing liquid on it and dipping it into the water "You are my aunt-sister-cousin-friend Leah…"
"No" she murmurs and I pause my controlled ranting-the edge in her voice prickling my heart. "I'm your Leah…"
"Hmm" I murmur hiding my shaking hands in the soapy water. "And what am I… to you then?"
"My Charles" she laughs. "For always"
"You promise that wont change in Alaska?"
"Not a single bit"
"Just one question" I sigh "Why haven't you packed anything…?"
"Trust me kid…" she chuckles "There ain't a single square centimetre available for our junk in Alaska…"
"I thought we were living on our own" I say-hating when it comes out like a whiney cry.
"We are" she says stoically, leaning on the edge of the sink and folding her arms-a frown on her face "Sort of anyway, but Alice…"
"This would be my Aunt Alice or…"
"Your cousin Alice" she says sheepishly and I frown cynically at her, rinsing my dishes. "Well, anyway…. Alice has furnished our home and well… I think…we will be staying alone mostly but your parents…"
"Hell no"
"What do you mean 'Hell No'" she growls her eyes flashing. "They are your parents…"
"I don't need…" I huff, wheeling around-trying to glare at her but stumbling backwards, my vision blurred and muscles twitching. "I don't…"
"Cool it…" she whispers. "Calmly… you are allowed to be upset Charles just not too upset, you'll be sick…"
"Yeah" I murmur hoarsely, holding my midriff and gulping the aching pain away. "Cool and calm…"
"I get it" she says slowly-her hand hovering over me, anticipating a breakdown and causing me to will control over my shaking; I hated being this weak…"They suck… you know I am with you on that one and I have let them know it too, but they love you and you love them…"
"So…" I breathe "I get to do this traumatic move from this lovely weather…"
"You know this hellhole weather sucks" she groans rolling her eyes "There are like three trees for me to… uhm, enjoy"
"Moving along from top-secret forest walks" I mumble and she blushes, causing me to blush "Uh… where was I…?"
"Weather change causes trauma" she grins.
"Hmm… traumatic weather change, random family that have more titles than a hillbilly house hold…" I ramble flailing my hands and grinning when she doubles over giggling.
"And now I have to deal with Renesme and Jacob Black's never ending string of lies and secrets?" I finish despondently.
"You are not going to deal with anything" she growls and I know that anger is directed entirely on the two absent parents. "You are going to go to high school and finish…"
"Was I never going to finish high school?" I ask her and she frowns at me.
"With the way you were going…" she says all authority-like, back to 'Aunt Leah' "When your report gets viewed in that house… well, your 'poetic William Shakespeare writing days' will be long gone"
"Never"
"Never say never kid" she breathed.
"So this is really happening huh?"
"Yeah" she sighs. "It really is… but hey, at least you'll have me"
"Yeah… you're a regular Ms Brightside" I grin.
"And no more creepy stalker men" she mutters.
"Now why would they stop stalking the Beautiful Leah Jonas just because she is going to Alaska" I ask her playfully-although I watch her every reaction carefully.
"They just will" she says coolly and I know that there is the main reason I am being reunited with my mother's family instead of just schooling it on the Reservation in Forks.
"If they know what's good for them" she mutters as I leave the room.
Xx~xx~xX
I haven't seen a single Cullen in years-my mother doesn't count as she is a Black and I get to see her maybe once a month for a day and talk to her every weekend on the phone. They are the oddest bunch, the strangest family any one person can have…
I mean, fine… my dad's family can be loud and too touchy; Leah's mum is on a mission to get me into the Guinness World Record's for fattest kid one day and Uncle Seth… well, he hasn't changed at all-always up for a good time and as understanding as always about my silly little drama's. Sam-Leah says I don't have to call him Uncle "for shit"-looks at me funny and always slaps my back to hard and Emily is always asking me if I am okay like I have been released from a mental institution recently. But I get to see them always, I get to talk to them normal-like and they huff and puff and make everything seem normal when I speak to them on the phone. They complain about stuff, they whine that I am away for too long and Uncle Seth-well, recently he has asked to be referred to as 'Just Seth'-badgers Leah about all the name changing we do that makes us difficult to find when we move…
It's normal stuff with them-stuff I can compare to with other kid's minus how Uncle Seth walks about half naked or that Uncle Embry and my dad look alike (when I asked Leah about this she squinted her eyes, staring at them and finished with a "Now, why is it the kid with bad eye sight and asthma got to solve that problem us idiot Quileute's have been trying to decipher for donkey's years… oh, keep that to yourself Charles…") or how Leah hasn't got a single wrinkle on her face. Just normal weird stuff I can handle…
But with my mum… my chest tightens when I see her each time-more lovely and young than the last. Our hair is alike, we look alike but at the same time… we couldn't be more different. She couldn't be more different to any woman walking the streets… and after everything, with everything… I feel like she needs me. She needs me and Dad but she is running from us because… of something… and it makes me love her and hate her more because she won't let us in…
The Cullen's have never let me in outside of their controlled phone calls and questions if I 'need anything'.
Leah and I have never needed anything. We have each other-she does her Environmental Work and Veterinary Work wherever we go, and it has never been the most paying of jobs but it's enough.
We will always be enough for each other…
AUTHORS NOTE: this is going slow but steady. A very different writing style to what I normally do…
Not sure if I will be writing in Charles perspective but it might become crucial. Let me know if you found this comfortable in his perspective.
AND DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW.
