Thanks to ilovedogs12 and that awesome guy. And also 'guest' – Link has his very own personality in my story – and that would be Dudette not Dude :D
Idonotownthelegendofzelda are you happy now disclaimer fans?
Um, yeah. Let us go, as the goron in the pirate hideout says….
"You must go to the temple hidden in the snow and restore the energy flow!" Anjean told Zelda. (Link had gone to buy some Tower Soap from the gift shop) "The protector of the Snow Land, Steem, can be found in Snowfall Sanctuary. The sanctuary is somewhere within that land. Find it and ask Steem for help."
"Got it!" Zelda said, "Come on Link!"
Link returned with the tower soap and also some towels, and a t-shirt saying 'I heart New Hyrule!' "Yeah, ok." He agreed, "Let's gooooooooo. HUP!"
They set off to the snow land, but, just as they were nearing the castle, some brown pigs with white necklaces on tried to kill them :o
"OH "$ :! WHAT THE %^&£ WHY THE :)( IS THERE A :?* PIG ATTACKING OUR %^&*(^ TRAIN?!" Zelda screamed, "LETS GET TO MY $£"!*& CASTLE TO SEE IF ALFONZO CAN *&^%&( HELP US!"
"Zelda, that is very very very very very very very very – ooh, it's gone weird now – very. Ve-reeeeey… well, it is very unnecessary language." Link scolded her.
"WHAT %^$!^" EVER!"
"…"
"Sorry."
"NOT THIS AGAIN!" Ciela shouted, "I WILL PERSONALLY KILL ALL OF YOU!"
"Calm down, luv!" Zelda said.
Once they had arrived at the castle, the postbox was wiggling. "NO! NO! NO! I REFUSE TO SEE THE POSTMAN AGAIN!" Link shouted and hid behind the notice board.
"What can be so bad about a postman…" Zelda wondered…
"Hey, Hey, Howdy, Mister!"
"Oh my goddess…" Zelda stood, or rather floated there with her mouth open like this :o
"I'm here with a letter for you from Mr. Alfonzo, Link!"
"…"
"Does she look like Link?!" Ciela exclaimed, "She is clearly a girl! Oh, wait… you can't see her… so hang on, you must be talking to me… AH! HOW DO I LOOK LIKE LINK!"
"He told me he recently suffered many injuries but is now on the mend!" The postman continued, "Now, where was I…Oh, yes, your letter! Sorry, I'm easily distracted."
"…" Ciela …ed
"…" Zelda …ed
The postman gave the letter to Ciela, who promptly collapsed as it was about 10 times bigger than her. "Here ya go!" He said happily.
"bye…" Zelda said.
Link came his hiding place and took the letter from Ciela.
Dear Link.
I'm sorry I wasn't able to help you more. That guy really did a number on me, so I was feeling pretty rough for a while. Luckily, I'm feeling better now. Would you mind coming to get me at the castle and take me back to Outset Village? Thanks!
-Alfonzo.
"HOW DARE HE?!" Link shouted, deafening the whole of castle town for a little while, "HE WAS THE ONE THAT COULDN'T FIGHT AND PUT LE MOI IN DANGER! AND NOW HE HAS THE !"££$% CHEEK TO ASK ME TO TAKE HIM BACK TO HIS £$%^&* HOME? NO WAY HOZAY!"
But, because the script said so, Link had to do it. When he arrived, Alfonzo did not look hurt at all. Like, AT ALLLLLLLL. "Ah, Link… So you got my letter, did you?" Alfonzo asked, "I can finally get around on my own again, but what hurts most is my pride."
"IT WAS YOUR OWN *&^%(? FAULT!" Zelda shouted, but of course he couldn't hear her.
"How could I fail to defend the Princess?" Alfonzo said sadly.
"BECAUSE YOU ARE £$"!" Zelda exclaimed.
Link explained what Zelda had just said.
"Um, ok. Well, um, I'll be waiting at the station…" And Alfonzo walked off.
"Link, while we're here, do you mind if I do something?" Zelda asked.
"No…"
"GOOD." Zelda flew, and used her ghostly powers to drag Link along too, to the Castle Kitchen. She picked up a giant bowl of cheerios and used more ghostly powers to make it into ghosty food so she could eat it.
"And you call ME greedy!" Link said in pure shock after what he had just seen.
"Um. Well, it's different. Now, come on, let's go to the station." Zelda laughed.
Oh the way to the station, they bumped into Teacher. Link had a long conversation with him. Zelda was very worried after this convo, and said, "Poor teacher! Link, we need to get my body back to let Teacher know I'm ok."
"OH, SO IT'S ABOUT YOUR TEACHER? I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING ZELDA!"
"Um, Link…"
"WELL YOU KNOW WHAT? WE ARE DONE! I WILL GO BACK TO EATING BACON EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. AND I DON'T EVEN LIKE IT!"
"Link. Calm down."
"YOUR NOT MY MUM! YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!"
"I'll give you a McDonalds if you come with me."
"DEAL! I ALWAYS LOVED YOU!"
"Erm…"
When they arrived, Alfonzo was standing there, and he was there smoking a pipe!
"ALFONZO! I THOUGHT YOU GAVE UP FOR YOUR 40TH?" Link shouted at him.
"YOU ARE 40?!" Zelda shouted at him, too.
"47 actually." Alfonzo replied, "Now, come. We need to go home so I can eat some bacon."
Alfonzo plonked his fat-
"MUSCLY!"
Sorry, Alfonzo plonked his MUSCLY bum down on the red seats on the train whilst Ahhhhhhhh-ing, and Link took him home.
"That's a fine-looking train you've got there. You're pretty lucky. And what a smooth ride!" Alfonzo said when they arrived. "Can't believe you got such a nice train from the tower of spirits…"
"Actually, Alfonzo, correct grammar would be 'I' can't believe." Link corrected him.
"Well, whatever. But like I said, I don't think it can handle the dangers you're likely to face!" Alfonzo told Link, "Let me rig something up for you… Oh, but it's going to take some time to get it ready. Come back here in a while. Why don't you go and visit ol' NIKOOOOOO while you're waiting?"
"Alfonzo, Word 2010 doesn't like the word ol'." Link said.
"What's Word 2010?"
"Oh sorry, you're not meant to know until 2010. Sorry Alfonzo. See ya later."
Link and Zelda set off to Link and Niko's house… "Oh No, there's Sally!" Link said to Zelda and hid behind a tree.
"Who's Sally?" Zelda asked.
"This really annoying girl who stalks me! That girl over there with the stupid pineapple hair!"
"Heyyy Liiiiiiink." Sally shouted.
"OH MY LIGHT SPIRITS, RUN! OR FLY!"
They ran to Niko's house.
"Hi there, Link. How was the ceremony?" Niko asked, "So you're finally a real engineer. Ah, this is a happy day! Say, why are you dressed as a soldier? It's strange… You look just like a friend of mine from when I was a young man…"
"HEY, I KNOW YOU!" Zelda shouted, "GRANDAD LINK DID NOT LIKE YOU! HE HATED YOU BECAUSE YOU NEVER BELIEVED THAT HE SAVED GRANNY TETRA FROM THE GHOST SHIP AND YOU STILL TEASED HIM ABOUT IT WHEN HE WAS THE KING!" But of course, Niko couldn't hear her ranting.
"Hey, that reminds me of something!" Niko continued, "Since you can travel all over the world by train now… Would you mind doing a favour for ol' NIKOOOOOOO here?"
"WHAT IS IT WITH MAD COUNRTY PEOPLE AND THE WORD OL'?" Zelda screamed.
"A.. A favour?" Link questioned.
"Ah, back in the day, I used to love travelling. I visited so many exotic places. Every place I went, there'd be a stand where I could get a special stamp." Niko told Link, "I never did figure out who built those stands…"
"IT WAS MEEEEEE! IN ANOTHER LIIIIIIIFE!" Link exclaimed evilly.
"Um… Anyway, collecting these stamps was a way to record my travels. But back then… I didn't have anything with me to stamp them in. It was a sad state of affairs. Which brings me to the favour I was talking about, Link."
"Does everything you say have to consist of your life story?"
"Shut up. Well, would you use this stamp book to collect those stamps for me? Here it is!"
DUH NUH NUH NUUUUUUUUUH! You got the stamp book! Get stamps from every part of the world for Niko!
"Please collect a ton of stamps for me. If you get a lot, I'll give you something special." Niko offered (Blackmailed)
Link said thanks and ran back to the train, where Alfonzo was waiting.
"Hey, Link!" Alfonzo shouted, driving LINK'S train!
"HOW DARE YOU RIDE MY TRAI…" Link began.
"Oh, you got here just in time!" Alfonzo interrupted him, "Check this out, Link! It's a cannon for your train! With this baby, you can smash through boulders! You can even knock out any baddies that get in the way! Now that you've got this, you should be able to head out to Snow Land. You've got to help the princess. We're counting on you, Link!"
"Counting? I don't see any numbers… ohhhh…"
So Link, Zelda, and Ciela set off to this 'Snow Land'…
I am sorry for the tres tres short le chapter. I vill maybe haf one up later. Oooh, now I'm French and German. Get me.
Zelda: please review.
Alfonzo: PLEASE I BEG OF YOU
Link: I WILL GIVE YOU A BIG MAC.
Niko: That's blackmail Link.
Link: Says you.
Niko: HKHFKJFHjkafhsdk
Zelda: SHUT UP! JUST REVIEW PLEASE!
