Hey everyone! Sorry I haven't updated in forever, I've been super busy though and been suffering major writers block! DX Sorry! Hopefully this chap makes up for it!
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It had taken a good two hours to finish in the medbay (Ezra running off when the medical droid had pulled out a rather large needle hadn't helped, as it had taken at least fifteen minutes to coax the teen down from the vent he had immediately clambered into), and by then, Kanan was utterly exhausted. Why were kids so stubborn about avoiding needles, Kanan absently wondered, as he led Ezra down the hall.
The teen was rubbing his arm now, frowning to himself. Kanan lightly brushed the boy's hand off of his arm, away from the small bacta patch that covered the several injection areas (fourteen years worth of immunization shots was bound to leave him a bit sore).
"Don't mess with the patch." Kanan scolded softly. "You'll just irritate the injection spots."
Ezra scowled, shrugging the hand away.
"My arm, my rules."
Kanan rolled his eyes hoping more than anything else that he would have the patience it took to handle a young teenager.
Ezra glanced around, seeming to curl up a bit on himself, almost protectively.
"So...Where are we going?"
Kanan's gaze turned back to the boy, meeting the bright blue eyes that seemed to stare into his soul.
Somehow, though, that didn't bother Kanan nearly as much as it should've.
Offering a grin, the Jedi looked back ahead.
"Somewhere quiet."
Ezra's nose wrinkled in confusion, brow furrowing.
"Why?"
"You ask a lot of questions."
Ezra huffed, glaring at the floor.
"Not my fault." He grumbled, hands shoved into the pockets of his flight suit. "I'm a kid, it's part of the territory."
Kanan chuckled, shaking his head to himself.
"I'm not saying it's a bad thing, I was just making an observation." Kanan looked at the teen out of the corner of his eyes. "I was the same way. Still am, sometimes."
Ezra looked at him, seeming surprised, maybe even taken aback by the Jedi Knight's honesty.
"You...Do?"
Kanan nodded, shrugging casually.
"Of course. It's not that strange, it's just...Natural. I don't think there's a sentient being in the entire universe that doesn't ask questions at least now and again."
Silence fell for a minute, and Kanan wondered if he'd done something to disturb the boy. He went to speak-
"You didn't answer the question."
A smirk tilted at the Jedi's lips, his eyes still facing forward.
"Blast, and here I thought I did a good job redirecting the conversation."
"You did." Ezra admitted. "I'm just too stubborn to let you get away with not answering the question."
A small laugh slipped past Kanan's lips.
"I see. Well, to answer your question, we're going to one of the observation rooms."
"Uh...Why?"
Kanan rolled his eyes to himself.
"I'll tell you when we get there, alright?"
Ezra huffed, but didn't question it.
It was quiet as the two Humans made their way down several halls, reaching the observation room after a couple minutes. Entering the passcode, Kanan stood aside to let Ezra enter the room before him. The teen did so, albeit hesitantly.
The room was circular, with a thick glass window wrapped around the back wall, showing off a good view of space. Ezra was drawn to the window like a moth to a flame, his big, curious eyes peering out into the vastness of the galaxy.
Kanan entered, the door sliding shut and locking behind him. The Jedi quietly watched Ezra for a moment, inspecting the teen.
The boy was once more at peace, his emotions calm as a lake. Smiling to himself, Kanan moved forward to stand beside him and peer outside as well.
"Its amazing, isn't it?" Kanan mused softly.
Ezra slowly nodded.
"Yeah...Its so quiet..."
Kanan chuckled, a grin curling at his lips.
"I guess it is, huh?"
"Doesn't hurt my head like Lothal."
The smile on Kanan's face became a frown as he looked at Ezra, brow raised in confusion.
"Your head?"
Ezra shrugged, seeming a bit uncomfortable with the turn in conversation. He turned slightly, leaning his shoulder against the window, arms crossed and eyes dim.
"Sometimes...Okay, a lot of times, I get headaches." He gestured vaguely towards his head with a hand, eyes still staring out the window. "Usually in the city there was always a loud buzzing in my head. All the machinery working and people, I guess." His nose wrinkled. "It makes my head feel all fuzzy, too."
Kanan wondered how it was the boy could continue to surprise him even now. It seemed almost impossible for one who subconsciously blocked off his abilities and had no formal training to be able to sense every living thing around him so clearly with his mind shielded. Then again, this was Ezra. He was full of surprises.
Ezra's blue eyes hesitantly turned to the Jedi.
"You...You hurt my head at first, too." At the alarmed look he was given, Ezra quickly continued. "But not so much any more. I'm used to you now."
"I see."
Ezra shook his head to himself, straightening.
"Anyways, what's on the agenda today?"
Kanan gestured to the middle of the room.
"C'mon, let's sit down first."
Ezra looked confused.
"On the floor?"
Kanan raised a brow as he moved, dropping to sit cross-legged on the ground.
"There a problem with that?"
Ezra hesitantly shook his head, sitting across from him.
"Well...No, but everyone I've ever met gives me weird looks whenever I sit on the floor."
Kanan grimaced. Of course, so many looked down upon those who were homeless, parentless and creditless. Even just sitting to rest on the ground was seen as disgusting, but Kanan knew better. He offered the teen a smile.
"That's them, not me. Besides, if they give you looks just for sitting down, then they're the weird ones."
This coaxed a laugh from Ezra, and Kanan felt the sensation of success was over him. So far so good, no arguments, no issues, he'd even made the boy laugh for the first time since they'd gotten aboard the ship.
"Now, we're going to try some meditation-"
"Medi-what?"
Kanan gave the boy a look, silently telling him to not interrupt.
"Meditation. Its a technique the Jedi use to help center themselves, and its a good place to start if we want to have you stop your instinctual Force suppression."
At the blank look he received, the Jedi sighed. Of course, he couldn't expect that to make sense, Ezra came from a planet where the Jedi and the Force were only whispered rumors on the wind.
Alright, this time with a more graspable concept.
"You know the buzzing in your head? That isn't machinery, that's you using the Force. It's all of the energy of living things being turned into sound through the Force." Seeing that this seemed to make more sense to the teen, Kanan continued. "It's doing that because you need to let a little of your power out regularly, so your body is changing how you sense things through the Force into sound. If we can get you to stop subconsciously suppressing your abilities, then the buzzing will start going away, and you'll have less headaches."
"O...kay...?"
Kanan grinned.
"Alright, sit like I am and close your eyes. Just listen to my voice."
Ezra looked a bit skeptical, but did as told, carefully folding his legs and letting his eyes slide shut.
Smiling to himself, Kanan spoke, keeping his voice low and soft.
"Now, take a deep breath. Feel it fill your chest...let it expand your lungs...Good, now, exhale. Perfect. Clear your mind, let all your thoughts go."
A frown.
"How can I not think though? That doesn't really seem possible-"
"Ezra."
The boy grimaced.
"Right. No talking. Sorry."
Kanan shook his head to himself, a slight smile curling at his lips.
"Now, just focus on my voice. Center your thoughts around that, if you can't clear your head. Use my voice as an anchor."
Ezra forced himself to take another deep breath, trying his hardest to ignore the um of the ship's systems and the low, singing hum in his head.
The boy winced when a pair of large, warm hands touched his shoulder, but he was quick to relax, and Kanan smiled as he felt the muscles under his hands un-knot. Ezra was placing what was no doubt a very unusual and uncomfortable amount of trust in him, and Kanan wasn't about to give him a reason to regret that.
"There you go, just relax. Your shoulders were around your ears, you were so tense..."
Ezra huffed, frowning once more, obviously having a few choice words for Kanan (though this time he remembered he wasn't allowed to talk and held his tongue).
Once sure that the painfully thin shoulders wouldn't hike up once more, Kanan stood, moving to watch the boy from the front. He looked a bit more peaceful now, Kanan mused. But he wasn't capable of any long term meditation, not like those trained in the temple, but that was alright. He was doing good, and Kanan felt an odd sense of pride because of that.
"Keep breathing. Slowly, in through the nose and out through the mouth. Good, you're doing great, kid."
"...My foot's falling asleep."
Kanan was so startled he couldn't withhold a bark of laughter.
"Yeah, that'll happen sometimes."
Ezra wriggled uncomfortably where he sat, nose scrunched and frown prominent as he tried to regain feeling in his foot. Kanan shook his head exasperatedly.
"You need to stay still, Ezra."
"But its-!"
"I know its uncomfortable, but it'll keep happening every time you try to meditate unless you get your body used to it, which comes from keeping at it, so stop moving."
The teen's frown deepened, but he did his best to do as told, trying to force himself to stay still. He succeeded for the most part, though now and then would twitch, his foot still causing discomfort.
Impressive, considering this was his first attempt at meditation...
"Go ahead and open your eyes. Slowly, or the light will make your eyes water."
The teen did as told, bright blue orbs soon staring up at Kanan, seeming to be calmer than he had been previously. As the boy peered up at him, Kanan yet again felt the odd sense of fond affection for Ezra, much like the kind he saw other Jedi show towards their Padawan's.
Shaking off the thought, Kanan crossed his arms and smiled, nodding his head in approval.
"That's good for your first try, kid."
Once more, Ezra scowled at the title.
"I'm fourteen, not a kid."
The smile on Kanan's face curled into a smirk.
"Compared to me? You're a kid."
Huffing, Ezra pushed himself to his feet, wobbling slightly on his numb legs before regaining his sense of balance and feeling in his feet.
"So...That's what you Jedi do all day? Sit around until your feet fall asleep?"
A snort of amusement left Kanan as he shook his head, leading Ezra to the door.
"Not even close. But meditation can work wonders, sometimes. How does your head feel? Can your hear any of that humming?"
Ezra considered this for a moment, biting the inside of his cheek thoughtfully. After a few moments, he shook his head slowly.
"Well...Not really. I can barely hear it anymore, and the headache's gone..."
"See?" Kanan bumped his arm lightly against the teen's shoulder. "Told you it'd help."
Ezra rolled his eyes, the blue orbs catching the warm glow of the ship's lights, making his eyes seem to hold electricity for the barest of moments before being cast back into shadow as the boy looked at Kanan.
"Yeah yeah yeah, don't have to rub it in."
Kanan only chuckled, shaking his head humoredly.
"C'mon, let's get to the mess hall, its time for dinner."
The idea of food made Ezra move that much faster.
Ezra sighed as he squirmed on his bed pallet, trying to get comfortable. It wasn't that the room wasn't comfortable, it was the cushiest place Ezra had stayed in for a long time! He just felt...Well, he didn't really know what to feel anymore.
If someone had told him a week ago that he could use some sort of weird power to control energy, or that he would befriend a Jedi, he would've laughed so hard he could bust a rib. And yet here he was, laying in a room near the heart of a battle cruiser.
Frowning to himself, the teen folded his arms behind his head, staring up at the ceiling, his bright blue eyes piercing the darkness.
The Force...
Just the name sent a weird wave of warmth through him, as though he were being embraced by an invisible being. But...It was still a very confusing concept to grasp. The Force was energy...And that was where his understanding began and ended.
With a huff, Ezra sat up, running a hand through his hair. This was stupid, he'd never get any sleep like this!
Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, Ezra stood on slightly wobbly legs. Once finding his center of balance, he moved to the window at the back wall, resting his forehead against the cold glass. He stared out at the passing stars, ignoring how his breath lightly fogged the window.
What would happen once they got to Courascant? Kanan said that he would take him to the temple, introduce him to the 'Jedi Council'...But then what? What if they wouldn't let him stay? What if Kanan had made a mistake and Ezra had to go back to Lothal?
Well...It wouldn't be so bad if he did have to return to Lothal, right? The Imperials were being driven off right this second and that meant there wouldn't be so much fear clogging the air, suffocating fear and pain-
Ezra recoiled from the window, shaking his head sharply. No, there was no reason to think about that. Not here. Not now. Kanan, Hera, Sabine and Zeb all believed that he'd be allowed to stay in the temple, and so far, Ezra had no reason to not trust them.
Huh. Funny how years of trusting no one but himself could be turned around so quickly just because a handful of people showed belief in him.
It was definitely odd...
But the good kind of odd.
The best kind.
