From the sobrekt newspaper DAILY CROC, Twenty-sixth edition.

IRKEN FLAGSHIP STOLEN? IRKEN INVASION?

Today at about 13:24 D.C., some witnesses claimed to have seen a good number of Sobrekt aircraft heading up to the Massive, the largest vessel of the Irken Empire. Not long after, thousands or smaller Irken ships started coming back down from the Massive and landed in the outskirts of Igano. The crowds fear this may be the beginning of an invasion on the Irkens' part, but so far they have shown no hostility nor begun any movement against the citizens.

One of our reporters managed to talk to an Irken who came down in the first rows of ships, and she claimed they had been kicked out of the Massive by a small army of Sobrekt. This has raised even more questions. Who is the mysterious attacker? Is the Shuryo behind this? Our leader has refused to give an interview and has made no commentaries on the matter.

Commissioned by Almighty Tallest Miyuki, designed and built by Vortians, the Massive is famous across the universe for being the Irken Armada's flagship as well as the vessel of choice of the Irken Leaders, the Almighty Tallest. Stories of the Massive's powerful laser cannons are enough to give even our species the shivers, the reason for which our military never directly attacked the Irken Armada.

These past days, the Tallest have been sighted in Igano's outskirts hanging out with a particular group of Kryvtors, particularly members of the House of Cobalk, one of Sobr's most ancient kryvtor clans. Their purpose here on Sobr is yet unknown, though the Purple Tallest has claimed to own the rogue Indokuro that tore the arm of an indokani not long ago.

Or perhaps the claiming of the Massive has to do with the rather compromising event at the Skrallik Betting House the previous night, in which the Almighty Tallest got involved into a drunken fight, causing a commotion that required the intervention of the Owsla*.


Indokani

Chapter 7- Consequences


"Did you really have to bite me?! You nearly tore off my PAK-leg, you savage!"

"I am the savage? You started it!" Captain retorted indignantly.

Lena rolled her eyes. These two were just like smeets. "Will you two stop bickering? We're almost there."

The ship landed in front of the gambling house from last night. Red's Squeedly-spooch sank. Would the people working here recognize him? Hopefully not. But considering he was the only Irken, alongside Lena, here that night, there was a good chance. His fears were confirmed when some of the aliens inside took one glance at him and started muttering, some of them even snickering.

Okay, Purple was supposed to meet them here. When they mentioned the issue with the Massive, he said he'd get here ASAP. Indeed, they found him inside pestering the bartender over not having any doughnuts.

Unfortunately, accompanying him was none other than Zim."Hey, my Tallest Red! I'm here! Look at me!" The little defective waved his arm wildly to get his attention. "I saved Tallest Purple from jail!"

"What did you do to get arrested, now that we're on it?" Lena asked.

"Those idiots from the I-KCADCOM want to kill Cheesecake! They called him a defective, can you believe it?!"

Red raised an invisible eyebrow. "Yes, I can."

"Hey, what happened to you? You look like you were run over by Zim."

"You can thank Captain for that."

"You started it." The sobrekt frowned.

Red grunted. "Anyhow, where's that damn crocodile!" He looked around the place. Unlike that night, now it was mostly empty except for a few patrons.

Captain pointed towards one of the tables. "Over there."

There weren't many people at that hour, so it wasn't that hard to spot him. Sendou was having a pint of grootbeer while some of his mercenaries were playing billiard or throwing knives at the target on the wall. His indokuro, Maugrim, was curled up around it's master's chair, soundly asleep. Its presence was the only reason Red didn't blow up Sendou's head like he would have deeply wanted.

"You!" He snarled as they made their way over to him.

"Ah, your Tallest, I was wondering if you'd come," Sendou said, examining his drink absent-mindedly.

"I will handle this, Irken. If you speak, you'll probably lose your tongue. Literally." Captain stepped forward. "Sendou."

"Captain. It's been a while."

"You two know each other?" Purple asked curiously.

"We were hatched from the same clutch, though we have different fathers." The Sobrekt said simply. "Sendou, what happened? Why do you say the Massive is yours?" He asked his one-time clutch mate.

"You better have a good explanation for it!" Red added with venom in his voice.

Sendou put his drink aside. "The night you brought your… irken presence, I was in a round of 'life and death*'. After we finished the latest one, two small Irkens came in and insisted on joining. They tried to bet with monies, but 'life and death' only accepts objects. Ships, properties, weapons, you get the picture? The point is those two joined the game and they won a few rounds."

"What does that have to do with anything?!"

Sendou rolled his eyes. "I'm getting there, Irken." This time he did take a big gulp of grootbeer. "Those two had evidently drunk too many shots because their victories started getting to their heads. They insisted on betting the Irken flagship in the last round." Sendou chuckled: "they lost."

"Let me get this straight: two Irkens bet the Massive?" Red's eye was twitching.

"Yup."

The three Irkens were silent, processing what they just heard. Purple was the first to snap out of it."That can't be! Who would be that stupid!"

"Zim…" Red hissed, glaring at the defective as he distracted himself over with some of the weapons in the wall. He was already imagining what sort of punishment he would give him for this when Sendou shook his head.

"It wasn't Hitorken Zim, Your Tallest. If it had, I wouldn't have accepted his wager."

Red took a deep breath. "Well, lizard, sorry to disappoint you, but the Massive is the property of the Irken Empire. Two Irken soldiers don't have the authority to bet it without the Tallest's authorization. So I'd thank you if you'd get your filthy scaly meat out of my ship!"

Sendou blinked. "You don't remember?"

"Remember what?"

"You did authorize it."

"LIES!" This time Lena and Purple had to restrain him to keep him from actually attacking, especially after Maugrim lifted his head and growled warily. "I never gave the consent for such a transaction!"

Sendou searched into his satchel and took out a piece of parchment. "Here." Captain snatched the paper and took a quick look at it. The writing was blurry and whoever wrote it had been drunk, but he could still read it.

I, Almighty Tallest Red, hereby authorize the Massive to be wagered.

And just below was a signature in crimson ink.

"Um, Irken, i'm afraid he's right." Captain looked back at Red. "You authorized it."

Red went pale. No, he didn't…! He couldn't have! His face twisted into another angry expression. "You must have forged it, I never signed that!"

"You did. The Irkens left to get your signature so as to make the transaction valid." Sendou said simply.

"I don't know what you're talking a-!" Red brought a hand to his head as his organic brain pulsated with pain. Lena asked him if he was okay, but he didn't hear her. His mind went back to that night; it wasn't clear, but he remembered something…

My tallest-!

What do you two *hick* want?

We kind of… need your autograph for something very big!

If I *hick* give you an autograph, will you *hick* leave me alone?

Yes, sir!

Give me a stupid pen!

Lena saw her mate's face draining of all color and his eyes open up like plates. He looked like he had seen Tallest Miyuki's ghost. "Red…?" She asked tentatively.

"Damn it, I…" Red fell back on the chair, rubbing his temple. "I was drunk and I had no idea of what I was doing… I remember two short soldiers coming and…"

Fuck.

Sendou brought him out of memory lane. "Judging by your expression, I guess you remembered it."

By then, Purple had lost all composure and was stuttering in panic. ""You hear that? He was drunk! Then it means it's not valid, right? Right? Somebody tell me I'm right! Zim!"

"You are right, my Tallest!"

"See?! Haha! Then it's not valid!"

"Actually, he was not the one to make the bet. It was those two little Irkens, and although they were partially drunk they were still conscious enough to make the deal valid. And your flagship was located in Sobrekt-controlled space, so yes, this makes it official. You can ask for the contract to give it a revision, blah, blah, blah, the point is that from this moment, the Massive is my property."

The next few minutes were spent fanning both Red and Purple with napkins and snack menus as they started hyperventilating, the latter was additionally using a paper bag to inhale and exhale rapidly. Zim brought them glasses of water and some Krispy Kreme doughnuts, while Sendou recorded the entire thing in his datapad. It's not every day you see the Irken Leaders having a panic attack, after all!

Lena was flapping one of the menus closest to her mate's face. "Red, Pur, calm down! Take deep breaths!"

"Well, well, the 'Almighty Tallest' can't take bad news with dignity!"

"Captain!" Lena snapped at the Sobrekt with an annoyed frown.

"What? I'm just being honest!"

Once he got over the shock, Purple snarled. "Who were the two pea-brains behind this? Do you remember their names or how they looked like?"

Sendou rubbed his chin. "Mmm… one was very short and ugly, the other was even shorter and… I think his name was Rob or something."


Blue's house, a few hours later.

Every Irken's worst nightmare is making their Almighty Tallest angry. They live to serve their leaders and make them happy, earn their favor and praise, etcetera. Upsetting them is almost the equivalent of the Armageddon or the universe blowing up on itself. There are many things that can upset the Tallest: coming into direct contact with them, talking to them without being spoken to first, being shorter than them, being ugly, losing or wasting their snacks in any way, being ZIM, etcetera.

But none of those things could compare to the Tallest's wrath upon the loss of the Massive in a bet, as Bob and Skoodge learned the hard way. Their anger was scary enough, but the inferno of ire coming from all the crew of the Massive merged with it into a deadly combination. So the two short Irkens hid in the only place they knew none of them would dare reach them: behind Ilk.

"Dad, Uncle Pur, calm down!"

"WAIT UNTIL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU WORMS!"

"We're s-sorry!" Skoodge whimpered as he timidly poked from behind Ilk.

"OH, YOU WILL BE SORRY WHEN WE'RE DONE WITH YOU!"

"Everyone, calm down!" Lena shouted and put herself between the Tallest and Ilk, spreading out her arms and PAK-legs to keep them apart. "We should at least listen to their version of the story!"

"Oh, please, it's very clear what happened! Those two put the Irken Armada's most powerful vessel in the hands of a bloody Sobrekt! Do you have any idea of what this means?!"

"Yeah, no more doughnuts!" Purple cried.

"Yes, no more- What?! No! Not that, though it is a serious problem on its own! If all the universe finds out about this, soon every single enemy of the Empire will rise against us!"

"But the doughnuts, Red! The doughnuts! And the cinnamon rolls, the curly fries, everything!" By then, Purple had fallen to his knees and began to weep.*

Red made a mental note to find a way to get his secret stash of Miyuki rolls back before the lizards find it. He glared murderously at Skoodge and Bob, who tried to hide behind Ilk's legs.

"Guys, what happened that night? What did you do?" Ilk asked.

Skoodge took a deep, shaky breath. "W-we accompanied Tallest Red and Lena," he flinched when Red glared at him. "Y-you know, to make sure they didn't get hurt. We took a look around and found some Sobrekt playing something called 'life or death'."

"That game consists of putting ten tiny swords inside a cup on top of a board…" Masouri trailed off when he noticed the annoyed frowns in his direction. "Sorry." He yelped when Echo smacked the back of his head.

"We got curious and joined a round. We won a few times, and since we've never… well, we have never won anything ever, we got excited and…"

"Those swords were rigged, I know it!" Bob exclaimed.

"And we took f-few shots of Vortian whiskey, and…"

"And you bet the Massive, you little-!"

"Dad." Ilk frowned. "Blue, isn't there any way to undo it?"

"Legally, the only way you could get it back is by winning another bet against Sendou, but I wouldn't recommend it. There's no guarantee that you will win and you'll end up losing more of your stuff. You have to bet something equally or more worth the thing you lost to catch the rival's interest, and I doubt you have a spare Massive parked somewhere, right?"

"Why don't you just build another one?" Foxtrot asked.

"Are you kidding?! It took fifty years to build the Massive, and we don't have the Vortians to do all the work!" Red snapped.

"This is what happens when you depend too much on another species' technology, Irken."

"Shut up, Captain!"

As they argued, most of the Massive's crew, all forced out of the Irken flagship upon its takeover by the Sobrekt, waited outside Blue's home, taking up much of the streets around the neighborhood. The inhabitants weren't happy and ended up driving most of them off to the unoccupied plains outside Igano, much to their disappointment. They wanted their own share of pummeling Bob and Skoodge.

When Tenn, Skutch, and Spleen finally returned from Midosis after her talk, they found the rest of their fellow Invaders outside with deep frowns. Their reaction to the news of the loss was as one would have expected.

"They did what?"

"That's stupid even for those two!"

"I swear when I get my hands on them…!"

"Hey, speaking of which, how did your mission go?"

Despite the tension, Tenn smirked proudly. "I will soon start training as a kurokani." Her smirk turned into an annoyed frown as the others exchanged perplexed looks. "I'm going to pilot a kurokran from the inside."

"No way! They didn't even suspect you were an Irken?" Stink inquired.

"Nah, Sobrekt aren't known for using their brains as much as they use their brawns."

"And how did it happen?" Grapa asked.

Spleen and Skutch shivered, disgusted. "She was eaten by the kurokran." The latter muttered.

"Eaten like… swallowed whole?"

Tenn shivered in disgust herself. Recalling that event was not particularly pleasant, especially after being vomited by the beast all covered in its gastric juice. "Do know of that kind of experiences you only get to live once in your lifetime? This is not one of them, and I don't want to talk about it."

Grapa could tell she was serious, and her body language clearly expressed she didn't want to remember it. Then again, it's not like anyone would want to remember being inside someone else's stomach. "Any word from Larb?" He asked, changing the topic.

"None. You know when he gets a personal mission from the Tallest, he forgets about everything else. From what I've heard, he's been lurking around the HybGen HQ trying to find a way in."

"So what are we going to do about the Massive?"

The more or less enjoyable calm was broken when a familiar voice cried out. "Hello, my fellow but still inferior Invaders!"

The Irkens sighed in irritation as the taller-but-still-as-annoying-as-ever bane of the Irken Empire's existence approached, accompanied by….

"Hey, What is he doing here?" Stink pointed a finger at the Sobrekt, a deep frown on his face.

"I come in peace, Irkens," Sendou said simply while lifting his hands.

"Thanks to Zim's incredible eloquence, I have managed to come to an agreement with the Sobrekt-beast!"

The other Irkens exchanged looks. "Oh, really? And what kind of agreement?" Tenn asked.

"That's something I will only discuss with your leaders. Tomorrow, at the Indokuro fighting arena at midday."

"Why not now?"

Sendou smirked. "It will be better if I show them." And with that, he was gone.

When they relayed the message to their leaders, there was a brief debate regarding if they should take Sendou's word for it or not. Purple wanted to think he could actually be reasoned with, in desperation to get his supply of snacks, but Red thought there was a trick to it. Like, he'd make them beg or do any other humiliating task in order for him to give the Massive back. The rest were in a sort of gray area.

"Come on, who'd be stupid enough to actually return the Irken Empire's flagship and most powerful vessel?" Masouri pointed out, to which he received another smack on the back of his head, this time from Foxtrot.

"Zim, how exactly did you convince him?"

Zim puffed out his chest proudly. "I just had to demand him to give back the Massive and he said he'd think about it. Impressive, right, Ilk-smeet?"

Ilk sighed. How did he do it? Oh, well, at least it was better than nothing.

"We could take it back by force. Those guys wouldn't know how to defend themselves. Irk, one of the soldiers couldn't even transfer the call to the bridge!" Red snickered somewhat at the memory, though it did little to appease him.

"That would ruin your reputation amongst our people, not that it was that good, to begin with actually," Blue muttered the last sentence. "Sendou won the ship fair and square," all glances centered on Skoodge and Bob again as the two shorter Irkens shrunk. "And other than that, they haven't actually provoked any aggression on your part."

Purple whined. "Oh, so we can't attack, but they can take our stuff! That's not fair!"

"Look, why don't you go listen to what he has to say?" Blue suggested. "Who knows? Sendou might be a bit too arrogant and especially insufferable when he's winning, but he's a man of his word. Just ask Captain, he knows the guy better than anyone."

Captain snorted. Just because he and Sendou hatched in the same clutch and were half siblings didn't mean he knew him that much precisely. They were never very close, and Sendou was always the lonely one in the clutch. The only times Captain saw him back then was during feeding time.

When they were sent to Midosis, Sendou immediately applied for the Indokani exams while Captain was more interested in Spec-Ops; he spent lots of time working out in the field, so he rarely even spotted his half-brother. He did hear that he was the top aspirant at the Indokani exams and successfully obtained an indokuro egg.

Nowadays, their interactions were scarce and not exactly friendly, as both were stubborn and had different opinions in many things, but Captain still couldn't help but feel the tiniest amount of camaraderie towards his sibling, even though if it didn't seem like it was reciprocal most of the time.

"Just take care of your tongue and you'll be fine, Irken." He said after a while.


Igano's Colosseum, the next day...

They had to admit. Judging by the festival taking place, and now this giant Colosseum, the role indokuros had in Sobrekt culture was even more important than they initially believed. The great oval-shaped structure was similar to the mini-arena they had seen back on the festival grounds, but this one was bigger and had more room. Currently, it wasn't filled to its maximum capacity, as the fights occurring were mostly for training purposes, and there were only a few people present, mostly Indokani, their indokuro and veterinarians.

Sendou was waiting for them in the lower seats like he said he would. He was casually eating one of those bulbous, juicy pieces of meat they had seen back at the festival. Maugrim was nowhere to be seen, he was probably back at Sendou's house or wandering around in a pack like Fury did. Too bad he left the bat back at the base, or maybe he should ask Blue to punch him in his stead.

Ilk guessed what her father was thinking. "Dad, Blue's not going to punch him in your stead."

"Ilk, come on! That's not my intention at all!" Red stuttered with a nervous chuckle.

"Dad."

"Zim can punch him in your stead, my Tallest!"

"Oh, I'd like to see that." Purple snickered. He could already imagine Zim getting hurt and screaming something like 'noo, the beautiful hand of Zim' or something similar. Red went through a similar experience back on Hoth when Captain made a nasty comment*.

Blue sighed, shaking his head. Why did he come again? Oh, right, moral support, according to Ilk. She wanted him and her family (mostly Tallest Red) to get along, or at least tolerate each other's presence without tearing each other apart. He tried his best to be patient, but sometimes his father-in-law made it harder with his attitude. "Hey, Sendou!"

The Sobrekt acknowledged their presence with a smirk as he lifted his treat. "Ah, you did come! What do you think of the Colosseum? It's a good place to settle one's differences, get some entertainment or to watch final tests for certain branches of the military." Sendou looked around forlornly. "I remember my first pit fight. I was pitted against ten Slaughtering Rat People. We used to get them from Blorch to test a warrior's ability and skill, before…. Well, before you turned it into a parking-structure planet. After that, we're struggling to get non-sentient species for that purpose."

"Why don't you use war prisoners?"

Blue and Sendou averted their gazes awkwardly. "We ran out of... captives." They omitted the part where said captives were mostly Irkens.

At that moment two indokuro were released into the arena below, both dark, but their stripes of different colors. The referee cried something in sobrekt, and the animals were brought to the center of the arena by their Indokani, stopping inside a circle drawn in black paint. Just like at the festival, their snouts were inches away from each other, causing both beasts to bristle their spines and turn their pupils into thin slits; their indokani holding them by their thick collars was the only thing preventing them from starting the fight.

"Get to the point, lizard," Red growled, glaring at Sendou. "Why did you want us to meet you here? And what's this agreement you mentioned last night?"

"I'm getting to it, Irken."

"It's Almighty Tallest Red and Purple for you, lizard." Purple snapped. The position of 'jerkish sobrekt who never showed them due respect' was already taken, thank you very much.

Sendou rolled his eyes. "Whatever you say, your Tallest. Anyway, as a way to properly finish Indokuro Week, the I-KCADCOM organizes an indokuro fighting tournament in which all indokani who wish to make themselves known participate. There are no rules as to who can enter and it doesn't matter what species you belong to, the only rule is to have an Indokuro of your own."

He looked down at the arena, where the two Indokuro had already started their fight. No blood had been drawn yet, but judging by their snarls and shrieks they had already taken quite the damage to their insides.

"So?"

The sobrekt chuckled. "Here's the deal: if you can beat my Maugrim at the tournament, I'll return your flagship to you."

Purple and Red exchanged a glance. "That's all?"

"You're saying that all we have to do is to win this... Tournament, and then you'll return the Massive to us just like that?"

Sendou sighed. "Should I repeat it again until you understand it, your Tallest? I can use some flashcards if you wish."

Purple glared at him. "Okay, Zim, you can punch him in my stead now."

Lena stopped him before he could, however, to Purple's disappointment. "Look on the bright side. It could have been worse." She said.

"Okay, Sendou, what's the catch?"

Sendou glanced at the blue-striped kryvtor. "Excuse me?"

Blue frowned at the crocodile, crossing his arms while his talon claws tapped against the ground. "I know you, Sendou. You have the most powerful vessel in the universe at your beck and call now. If you're really willing to give it up that easily, I'll shave my crest and learn how to swim."

Purple almost protested, but Red covered his mouth with his hand before he could say anything stupid. Blue did have a point. This was far too good to be true. Something he learned throughout his life was to never take these type of offers or events for granted; just like when he had been momentarily happy when Zim was apparently eaten by the mendigo on Hoth, only for the defective to cheat death yet again*.

His suspicions were confirmed when Sendou chuckled. "Ah, Blue, you were always the sharpest."

"So there is a catch." Ilk concluded.

"I have a condition. One simple condition," Sendou looked down at the indokuros again. Their wounds were open and bleeding, but the fight went on and on. The one with the orange stripe, however, was clearly losing.

"What's this condition, sobrekt-beast?"

"It's simple, Hitorken Zim. Knowing your leaders, and I don't mean to offend them, they're already thinking on using Fury to fight against Maugrim. That indokuro is exceptional and is amongst the best ever trained, so he would stand a good chance to win, thus making things easier for them." He glanced at them. Their half-panicked expressions told him everything. "My condition is that you must not use someone else's Indokuro."

They reacted as he expected. They instantly started complaining, despite attempts from the two female Irkens to make them stop. Sendou shook his head. How is the Irken Empire still standing with these two brats leading it? "You Irkens have the habit of taking shortcuts and easy paths to achieve things. The purpose of this tournament is to prove how well you've trained your indokuro and to prove yourself as an indokani. Using one that you didn't personally train is an insult because you're taking credit for someone else's job, yet another habit of your kind. If you don't believe me, ask the Vortians. Who do you think is actually behind the design and creation of your beloved Massive?*"

"That was a hard blow, lizard!" Red snapped.

Blue looked oddly indifferent to the revelation. He whispered something to Ilk, and then to Zim. Ilk nodded and watched them go. Zim was skipping happily with a grin on his face. Purple and Red didn't notice, however, they were too busy glaring at Sendou.

"And where on Irk do you expect us to get a trained Indokuro of our own?"

Sendou's eyes glinted evilly as he glanced at Purple. "You already have one, don't you?"

Down in the arena, the injured orange-striped indokuro fell to the ground as its opponent roared triumphantly.


*Reference to Watership Down, in which the owsla is the military caste of a rabbit warren. In this case, the Owsla is the Sobrekt's equivalent of the police.

*Life or death: reference to kakegurui. It's a game variation of Dice or Roulettes in which ten swords are placed in a cup and then placed down on the board numbered from 1 to 30. Explaining it completely would take a lot of space, so if you're curious go check it out on google.

*Come on, we ALL know this is how Purple would react if something like this happened. I mean, losing your snacks is one thing, but losing the source of the snacks?

*Lost, chapter 8.

*Lost, chapter 10.

*I don't know on what scale Irk depended on the Vortians for their technology, but we DO know they designed and built the Massive, so obviously if the Irkens were to lose it, it's not like they can replace it that easily without the Vortians, right?