"I can feel my mind wandering again into where I don't know, and will I ever get home? Time starts moving faster than I can. And I'm sick of this scene; I need to break the routine." Note To Self - From First To Last
The Undeveloped Story
Chapter Seven
You wake up abruptly because of the buzzing of your phone, and you almost fall off the bed. In fact, you would have, but there was a strong arm holding you in place. You tense before remembering that it is Shane. You reach for your phone as quietly as you can without waking him up, as he snores very softly in the nook of your neck. You try not to move around too much as you open your phone. "Hey, I'll be at your house in thirty, okay? 536 third ave right?" the text reads. You furrow your eyebrows, trying to figure out what the text even means before looking at the sender. Mandy. Mandy's coming to your apartment in thirty minutes because…?
You gasp loudly, sitting up quickly - definitely waking up Shane. He moans gently, rubbing his head against the pillow, still half asleep. "Baby, come back to bed." He mutters, tightening his hold on your waist. You gasp lightly, forgetting Mandy and the movies and everything, as your breath gets stuck in your throat. Shane's eyes flutter open as you look at him. You watch as they try to distinguish you until they look confused and then slightly frozen. "Hi." He says, sitting up just as quickly as you had. The two of you stare at each other for a couple seconds before he realizes he is still holding you to his chest. "S-so, I should go." He stutters, suddenly climbing out from under the covers and off the bed.
"Okay." You whisper, drawing your knees up. He clears his throat, rubbing the back of his neck - obviously nervous. Finally, you can see the determination in his face as he moves forward. "I might see you tonight." You admit as he takes one step towards you. His eyebrows raise. You clear your throat. "Yeah, I'm going with a friend to see a movie. Actually, she will be here in like twenty minutes and I need to get dressed, but anyways… after the movie, we might stop at the Black Mamba, so if you are there because for some reason you are always there, I'll be there." You know you are going around in circles but you are a little weirded out as well.
He nods as he comes to the side of your bed again. You look up to meet his eye. "I'm gonna go then." He whispers, his voice slightly hoarse as you two maintain eye contact. You nod again, this time swallowing harshly. He seems to be debating with himself as his hand reaches forward and starts brushing your hair back. The look you suddenly get in your eye makes him wince. It's the are we really gonna go down this road glance, but he ignores it. His hand cups the bottom side of your chin before making your head tilt up the farthest it can go, and then leaning down to meet your lips. He puts a small bit of pressure on them before alleviating it, and then reapplying pressure before pulling away slightly. His lips glide over to your cheek before kissing you there as well. "I'll talk to you later, Mitchie." He whispers before standing straight again.
You just nod.
It takes you ten minutes to unfreeze yourself from the bed, but once you do, you go straight to your closet. You quickly change into more suitable clothes to go out, and pretty soon, Mandy calls your cell, telling you she's outside.
--
You end up watching a hilarious movie that takes your mind right off Shane - mostly. You still cannot help but think of his lips on yours, of his body pressed up against you, and then of course the kicker, of the fact he has a girlfriend. You shouldn't be doing this. You are practically the other woman. "Mitchie." Mandy says, and you can tell by the tone of her voice, this wasn't the first time she said your name. You swallow and nod, before standing up and grabbing your garbage from the seats. Mandy smiles warmly. "Alright. So Black Mamba it is. I want a hot chocolate so badly. It's getting so cold." She shivers teasingly.
You laugh. "Please, it's like seventy. That's hot in New Jersey slash New York. Cold? Cold is twenty-five and having to go outside to shovel before the damn snow hardens into ice. Jesus. I hated that. That's why I wanted to move here." You finish with another laugh, shaking your head. "It's flipping cold. I want hot." You click your teeth at the 't' and she winces.
"Ahh, don't do that, bitch." She covers her ears dramatically, and you burst out laughing before doing it again. She glares at you playfully before pushing your shoulders. You just laugh again, as she rolls her eyes and links your arms. "So anyways, Ms. Torres, I want to tell you a secret." She says, resting her head on your shoulder. You snicker and nod at her. "I don't want you to leave. I like you and I think you fit in well. But I guess… with Mark, it will be impossible." She laments, looking away.
You clear your throat, remembering the scene. "You know I don't think Mark will be bothering me anymore." Is the only thing you say as you walk closer and closer to the Black Mamba. She looks at you confused, opening her mouth. You interject quickly. "Did you see Haley's performance last night at the AMA's? Man, I was like about to cry when she accepted her award. She's so pretty and talented and I love her." You giggle, gushing about one of your favorite artist. Mandy laughs at your cuteness before rolling your eyes. You two continue to prattle on and on about useless things as you get closer and closer to Black Mamba. The moment the door is at your reach, you begin to get second thoughts.
Shane is a roller coaster. He changes his mood depending on what's going on around him. He wears his heart on his sleeve, and every emotion is true. "Ready?" Mandy says when you don't continue walking. You swallow harshly and nod, going in first. The place is quiet with a few people here and there, but you aren't surprised. It's almost two in the morning. You are surprised they are even opened at this time. Maybe Shane isn't there. Technically, it's late and it isn't like he couldn't hang out in other place. Or, and here's a big one, just go home and go to sleep. Shane's not here. He won't be. You breathe in, trying to calm yourself down as you look around more closely at the people around, and exhale deeply when you notice not one of them is Shane Grey. "Want a booth?" Mandy says to you. You nod absentmindedly.
Why isn't Shane here?
Not that you are disappointed. Just, he's always here. "God, this is so fucking confusing." You mutter and Mandy looks at you strangely. You blush when you realize you said that out loud. "Sorry." You mumble, looking to your feet. Mandy just laughs, shaking her head at your strangeness. You follow her to one of the less bright booths as you see the waitress you recognize as Sabrina come over. She gives you a kind smile before casually handing you both menus. "Thanks, but we know already?" you question, looking at your friend expectantly. She nods, yawning slightly. "Can I get a small apple cider with a blueberry muffin?" You ask politely.
Mandy scrunches her nose. "Okay, health freak." She teases before looking at the menu briefly. "Can I have hot chocolate with whipped cream and chocolate little scrapings things? And a glazed donut." You are laughing at her enthusiasm by the end of it. Honestly, she is one of those people who you just do not understand where it all goes. Really, looking at her more closely, she is so pretty - but different. Good different. She has deep dyed red and orange hair with a cute little nose ring she almost always complains about but loves a lot. She is cute and funky, sarcastic and nice, tiny and sweet. She actually looks like the lead singer of one of your favorite bands which just makes you laugh. "Oh! Can I get a strawberry covered donut instead?" she asks, still smiling brightly. Sabrina laughs and nods, writing it down.
You just shake your head after Sabrina leaves. "Are you not planning on sleeping tonight?" you taunt, smirking slightly.
She shakes her head, clicking her tongue. "Nah, B. I have a five page paper that is only half done. I'm staying up all night." She waves you off, spreading her legs on the booth. You roll your eyes and nod. Absentmindedly, you look around the café again, maybe looking for a pop-star, maybe not. All you see is that the owner is here - you assume from the fact that the door that has OWNER stamped to it is ajar with light coming out the door. You wonder who owns this place and why they let Shane park in his parking spot. Maybe it's a family member. You smile when you think of Brown. You really do miss Camp Rock; it was a good experience once upon a time. "So, how do you feel about Twilight? The trailer looked good." she jokes, folding her hands to look professional.
You giggle and go to answer, but you see her freeze. Her eyes widen and you go to ask, forgetting your response - just as someone slides in next to you. You inhale sharply as an arm snakes behind your head, sitting close to your body so your legs touch and your shoulder is pressed into his chest. "I think it's a waste of time and the only reason it's doing well is because of over enthusiastic teenagers who want to sleep with either the main guy or the illegal one." Is what you hear just as Sabrina sets down your food and drinks. She throws another smile your way before going off behind the counter.
Mandy ignores the drinks and food, and instead, sits up, her hands still clasp. "Maybe. But wasn't that your main selling point? Loving teens that wanted to sleep with you or your little brother? Isn't that just a marketing tool?" she calls him out. You are still completely frozen, however, as Shane smirks. You can feel him move against you and you realize he is stealing your muffin, plopping a piece into his mouth.
"I never said it didn't work. I'm living proof it does and…" he tilts his head. "That it doesn't. I'm Shane by the way, but you know that." He smiles a bit smugly. Mandy laughs and nods her head reluctantly.
"Mandy Phillips. Nice to meet you, Backstreet Boy." You watch quietly as they shake hands, Shane rolling his eyes. He goes back to take another piece of your muffin, but you slap his hand away. Both Shane and Mandy look at you surprised, and you pout at them before taking your muffin away from Shane. "Don't steal her pastry, Shane Grey or she attacks." Mandy provides calmly as Shane blinks at her. You still don't say anything as you take off a piece of the blueberry top before putting it in your mouth. You don't know how to feel right now; which is pretty much how you always feel around Shane. You don't know where you guys stand and it's driving you absolutely insane.
Suddenly, Shane laughs. "Once I stole a cupcake from the batch she was baking and I got yelled for being an insensitive jerk." And then he makes a bewildered face. "She was also bathed in flour so who knows what was going through her head." He smirks, flicking the side of it. You swat him away again before shuffling and frowning.
"He was complaining about his non-existent allergies. And plus, the cupcakes were for the kids. And another thing, you were an insensitive jerk." You point out, elbowing him in the side. He laughs and moves closer to you, pressing his side up against yours. "Anyways, I happen to like Twilight or I least I like the books. I'm not much for either of the mains, although the younger one is quite cute, but the books are a good read. It sucks that the franchise has turned into a major sell-out, but I mean, sometimes it's nice to hide out in movies or books - even if half the world is doing it with you." You explain, almost confusing yourself. Mandy looks at you strangely.
"Babe. You are weird." She says, completely seriously, although you see a small smile behind it. She yawns again, putting her hand awkwardly in front of her mouth. "Excuse me." She says tiredly before getting out of the booth. "Where's the bathroom?" she asks, looking around the place. Shane straightens himself and points to the far end corner where a little hallway is. Mandy nods and turns around, halfway doing a twirl as she goes. Shane smirks and you just shake your head, a threat of a smile on your face. The second she leaves, you feel the apprehension come back to you. You can feel the fear of being alone with Shane. Of this impending disaster you know will come.
Shane moves closer to you with the same smirk, as he turns his head to face you. "You're in a good mood today." You comment calmly. You try not to let any of the emotions you are feeling come up to surface when you speak to him, and internally you wonder if he can see through that. When he shrugs and throws you another smile, you realize he has no idea how you are feeling. His black hair falls in front of his face as leans towards you. "Shane." You gasp when he nuzzles his cheek against yours, his lips softly pressing against your skin. He trails his mouth on it, trying to reach your mouth but you move away, looking down. He blinks and leans back, almost offended. You shake your head, anger going through you. "How's Jade, Shane?" you ask sharply. You watch his smile really fade as he scoffs under his breath. "Jesus, Shane. It's not fair what you are doing, and you have a hell of a lot of balls to do something to someone when it broke your heart when you thought it had happened to you." You hiss, shaking your head.
He removes his arm from behind you, his mouth set in a straight line. He looks away from you, a slight glare coming onto his face. You sigh, closing your eyes before leaning back into the booth.
"Look, I'm sorry, okay?" you voice cracks as you speak. "I'm so sorry but I'm scared." You whisper so softly under your breath. He looks back at you at that, his eyes bright.
"And you think I'm not?" he whispers just as gently. He swallows, his eyes portraying his confusion. "All of a sudden, you are thrusted back into my life. God, I hated you Mitchie for all this time, only to find out you were innocent all along and it was own fucking fault. Like… I don't know how to feel right now, but all I know, is that even when I hated you, even when I made myself forget, I never stopped missing you. Yeah, maybe I threw darts at your pictures, but I had pictures. I missed your face, honey. I missed you so much. I hated you." He repeats again, shaking his head. "And I hated Nate, but I missed him too. I didn't talk to him for four years, except for a period two years ago - which consisted of a week of grunts and single words and then nothing. But that doesn't mean that I don't miss him. I love him. I loved you. And now, you are both coming back to my life at the same fucking time and it feels like old times, especially with earlier in bed, but it's not and I don't know how to fucking feel." He rambles, his cheeks turning rosy.
He always rambles when he's upset. You used to think it was funny. Now, you just want him to stop talking before he kills you.
"Shane, please don't do this." You whisper, swallowing slightly. He looks at you, eyes vulnerable. "I know it hurts and I know you are confused because so am I. I don't know what to do either. And this morning!" you suddenly burst. "What the fuck was that? You cannot just jump someone because he pisses you off." You scold him loudly. You know Mark was dangerous, but Shane shouldn't have done that.
Violence does not beat violence. Ever.
He gets angry at that. His eyes light up. "Are you fucking kidding me, Michelle? He was going to hurt you." He argues, but you shake your head and look away. You gasp when you feel his fingers grip your chin and make you look at him. "Should I have waited until you were raped or murdered? You wanted to be safe. I made that possible." He lets go of your chin, sighing. He brings his hand to his hair, pushing it back. "Jesus Christ, Mitchie. I was just trying to protect you." He mumbles, bringing his arm behind you again so that his elbow is near you head. He brings up his hand to lean his head on it, so he's close to you again. "That's all I wanted to do. I didn't want to scare you. I just wanted to protect you." He whispers before exhaling.
Suddenly, he is moving away from you, a smile back on his face. "Hey, did the toilet eat you?" he jokes to Mandy who rolls her eyes. You uncomfortably shuffle and throw your friend a false smile. Words are at the tip of your tongue towards Shane, but you cannot say them with Mandy right there. You wish you could just convey to him clearly that you do not need a protector anymore. You are an adult, not a child. But you know he wouldn't listen. Mandy yawns, drinking her hot chocolate before taking a bite of donut. "You go to Berkeley with Mitchie, right?" he asks, his arm still behind your head. Mandy nods, trying not to choke on her food. Shane smirks and shakes his head. "What's your major?" he asks amicably.
"Criminal justice." She says in the same rehearsed answer all college students give when asked about their majors. "What about you, Backstreet Boy? Still doing music?" she asks the question you have been dying to ask since you saw him. You freeze when you feel Shane's fingers start playing with the strands of your hair that is closer to him. You bet, to anyone looking in, you look like a couple - and that kills you. Seriously, Shane Grey is killing you softly right now. Shane tenses for a different reason, probably due to the question. You sneak a glance to him, catching the look of pain and hurt that flashes through his chocolate eyes before he fakes a smile again.
"Well, besides managing Black Mamba, I'm just helping Jade with her music." He answers. You flinch inwardly at her name, swallowing the bile that rises because of it. It takes you about three seconds to actually process the rest of his sentence, and when you do, you gasp and whip your head towards him.
"This café is yours?" you ask way too loudly for the early hours of the AM. Both Shane and Mandy look at you with wide eyes, until Shane shakes his head with a smirk. He rolls his eyes and continues playing with your hair. He turns back to Mandy and continues to talk to her about random things as you think. It obviously makes sense now - as to why he is always here. He owns it. He's the person who was in the office. It's why he gets to park in the Owner's spot. "Jesus." You mutter under your breath at your stupidity. Again, both people with you look at you strangely. You groan and put your head on the table. "I didn't get enough sleep last night." Your voice is muffled but you know they understand you, especially after you groaned. Shane's hand slips from where it is to rub your back, applying pressure on the skin to calm you down.
You suppress another groan or moan or something as he massages you. "Damn." Mandy suddenly says. You look up to see what she's talking about and see her staring at her Blackberry. She sighs, looking up. "Franny left her keys in the apartment. I need to open the door as soon as possible." She looks at you sheepishly, sending Shane an embarrassed glance. "You mind if we leave now so she isn't in the non-existent-to-you cold?" she pouts dramatically for effect and it makes you laugh for five seconds, until you remember that Shane is besides you. That just makes you want to throw up. You sit up, Shane's fingers getting slightly crushed as you quickly slam your back towards the booth. He hisses as he removes his hand and you smile brightly at Mandy. "Sure, kid. Let's go."
"I'll take her." Shane says, his voice even although you hear the annoyance. That dampens your spirits. You don't want to be alone with him again. You try to send Mandy a look, but she's biting her lip, looking at Shane. "That way you can go straight to your apartment and your roommate isn't out for long. It's dangerous after hours." He advises, and you tense slightly at that. Mandy looks at you for confirmation and as much as you do not want to be alone with Shane, you do not want Mandy to get hurt either. "Go." You mouth to her. She smiles and goes to hug you tightly, before smiling at Shane. "Nice talking with you." He says politely, putting his arm behind you to be able to shake her hand.
"You too, Backstreet Boy." She laughs, shaking his hand. "I'll see you in school, Mitch." Mandy says before waving and walking away. The second she disappears, Shane lets his hand fall so it's on your shoulder casually as he reaches over with his other hand and grabs more of your muffin.
"Why didn't you tell me you owned this café?" you ask, looking at him. Shane gives you a small smile but doesn't say anything. "Jerk." You mutter, rolling your eyes. You try not to focus too much on his smell, but it's making you warm inside. You need to get away from him before you explode or start crying or something. "Hey, let me see your office." You say, pushing off the table. He sighs as his hand trails down your back before standing up as well. You walk in silence to his office, trying to stay away from his touch by walking quickly. You push open the door, barely noticing anything but the size of the small room. It's pretty empty with only the necessities like a computer and a desk with two chairs.
You gasp just as Shane presses his fingers into your back to make you look towards the chairs. "Shane." You whisper as he swallows softly.
He sighs softly. "I made her give it back. She stole it from me actually. When I called her on it, she started crying and pretty much told me she couldn't afford a new guitar and she thought I wouldn't have even notice if one of the many guitars I own would disappear." He tells you as you walk towards the chair. On the cushion is the red instrument that once meant so much to you once upon a time. You feel tears start prickling in your eyes as your fingers reach to touch the wood. He goes over to you, leaning against the space of the desk and chairs. "You can have it if you want." He tells you softly. You nod, not even looking at him. "I have the guitar case over here." He whispers as he reaches over and grabs the black case and puts it on the desk. You gingerly pick up the guitar, your fingers gliding over the back. You close your eyes when you feel the carving of your initials as he grabs the guitar from you.
He sets it in the case before closing it. "Thanks Shane." You breathe out and he just nods. He goes to say more but he gets cut off by Sabrina. She give you both a sheepish look as she enters the room hesitantly, knocking softly on the open door. Shane forces a smile at her. "What's up?" he asks, raising his eyebrow.
"Some of the numbers don't match up. Stacey needs your help." She says, biting the inside of her lip. Shane sighs but gets off the table, sending you an apologetic look. You look down instead of answering, your fingers grazing the black case softly. You feel so awkward being in that office alone, feeling all sentiment and emotional, just feeling a case up. You look away from it, trying to stop the tears from coming and your eyes go to a little clipboard Shane has thrown carelessly on his table. It takes you a while to discern what the paper on top says because of the blurriness of your eyes, but after a while you realize what it says. Your breath gets caught in your throat as you look at Shane's loopy handwriting. You stare at it for at least a minute, not knowing what to do with this information. Actually, it just makes you sadder.
Swallowing harshly, you pull out your cell phone and type in Nate Grey's cell phone number before pressing save.
XXX
Hey guys. Thanks for reading. It means a lot. Have a happy thanksgiving if you celebrate it. I hope you all have good health and all and don't get into too many family brawls this Thursday haha. I hope you liked this chapter. Please review. It lets me know that you like it and want more. If I just see view counts, I think that you are just reading and then rolling your eyes and going to the next ff haha.
Anyways, I saw New Moon. Thought it was much better than twilight and actually…. It made me want to write a Twilight FF, but Sabrina is all against it. So… let me ask you guys. Me writing a Twilight ff - too weird?
Love you guys.
Please review. (200ish)
Sandra
