This is it. This is the final chapter of Chad Dylan Cooper's Guide on How Not to Get a Girl! Aw, I'm sad inside. But I know I'll feel better considering that this is the only story I ever finished. LOL
Disclaimer: I don't own anything! Wait! I do own Chad's stunt double. So, ha! Yeah . . . I rock.

Oh, this is not good. Well, it is good, but not good. Do you know what I mean? You see, I love kissing Sonny. But I hate the fact that it's going to end all too soon. I want to kiss her . . . forever.

Here's one thing I realize, though. That Abraham was standing right there, gawking. I want to say to him, "See, this is how you kiss a girl!" but I'd rather let him suffer. (I'm evil like that.) Then it ends all too soon.

"Holy shit! What the hell was that?" he asks.

"I think he's mad at you," Sonny whispers smugly.

"Mad at him? Oh, no. I'm mad at you!" he says to Sonny.

I laugh. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, are you saying you're not mad at me?" I ask suspiciously. If he's not mad at me this is good.

"I'm a little mad at you," he admits, "because you kissed my girl. But, Sonny . . . Oh, my Lord! You offered to kiss him! We're done," says Julius, and walks away.

"I can't believe you!" screams Sonny at me. "You kissed me! Why did you kiss me?"

"Because you offered, I suppose," I reply. I can't believe what just went down . . . right there . . . in front of my eyes. It's amazing, really. She kissed me.

"Well, I don't know what I'm going to do." Sonny sighs, looking at the ceiling.

"Know what I noticed," I begin. She glares at me but listens. (Shocker, right?) "You always fell for jerks. And you are never able to keep a relationship. I mean, ours lasted pretty long compared to all of yours put together. Maybe you should have stayed with me."

She looks at me. "W-w-what do you want me to say to you?" she asks. "I gave you chance after chance after chance, but you always blew it. I mean, you throw up on me on our first date. You—you almost broke up with because of your flitter. You got a recount at the Tween Choice Awards so I lost. But then, like an idiot, I run back to you. I don't know what to do. Maybe I was always attracted to jerks. God . . ." is all she says. She walks away. I look around. Well, they're not together anymore. My work here is done. I smile and walk out.

The End

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Do you seriously think I was done? Sure, I broke up the "It Couple." Yeah, I'm that good. But I still have to get Sonny back. I'll do whatever it takes to turn things around. I know what's at stake. I know that I let you down. And if you give me a chance, believe it I can change. I'll keep us together. Whatever it take . . .

And now I'm singing a song. (Who the hell sings that?)

I continue to smile and walk. Well, my "smile" is more of a smirk. I'm acting smug all day until idiot come around.

"Chad," says Joey. "Chad, I need your help! Please! I lost Sonny because I lost my temper. I don't know how to make it better. Please . . . I'm desperate."

"All right, all right, stop freaking out. Everything will work out," I say. Hopefully not, I add.

"How?"

"I know how. You see, she loved you singing. And she loves this one song . . ." I start thinking back to when I first found out he could play the banjo.

I looked on my laptop for the dorkiest songs of all time. I couldn't really find one expect this: The Rainbow Connection—a song from this movie that has those puppets in them. What are they called? Oh, yeah, Muppets. I think they're as stupid as Sesame Street. (I wonder if they're related . . .)

Okay, back to present time.

"She likes this song called the Rainbow Connection," I say.

"Really?" he asks.

"Of course."

"I think I told you that I could play that song before."

"Did you now?"

"Yeah, I did."

"Cool . . . cool, cool, cool." I walk away without another word. I can't wait to see how this turns out. (By the way, it's going to turn out awesome.)


I take a front row seat to see the train-wreck. I have my back to them so they don't see me. I listen as dingbat and Sonny sit together, talking. Mark starts singing some song and she, of course, is singing along with him. When they stop sing that . . . that horrible song, Sonny starts to talk. I listen to them.

"You know, Tim," she starts. Oh, that's his name! I knew that. I always knew that. (Actually, I had no idea.) "I really like you . . . but I have a really special person in my life—a boy that I still sort of love."

"Are you talking about Lover Boy over there?" Zeb asks, pointing his thumb towards me.

Sonny squints here eyes, trying to see if I'm there. I turn around and smile. She shakes her head and rolls her eyes. "Yeah, it's him. It's always been him. I never really stopped loving him. He's . . . he's just so . . . loveable."

"Well, enjoy your relationship," he says bitterly, and walks out.

She turns and looks at me. "I'll meet you in my dressing room in five minutes" is all she says. I raise my eyebrows. Well, then. I wonder what she has to say.


I sit in my dressing room, Tim (yes, I figured out is name) got with Sonny, but she said that she has a special boy in her life. And guess who that was? Me. She still likes me. It's so obvious. I mean, who doesn't like me? Never mind. Don't answer that.

I hear a knock at the door. "Yes?" I ask.

"It's Sonny," says, which I'm assuming, Sonny. And if you're thinking, She just said it was, but it might not be Sonny is just crazy. You know what? I'll tell you what. It could be a poser! So, ha! (Maybe it's that psycho trying to get revenge, probably not.)

"Come in!"

The door opens and Sonny peeks her head in. She opens the door hesitantly. "Hi," she says, closing the door with a soft click. "Hi," she says again. I look at her, waiting to see what she says next. "Hi," she says for a third time.

"Are you all right?" I ask, wondering why the only thing she can say is "Hi."

"No."

"Okay then, what's the matter?"

"I didn't want it to end," she says softly, sitting next to me. She looks at her hands before she spoke. "I didn't like how we ended. I didn't want it to."

"Then why did you do it? Why did you break up with me?" I ask. I'm angry. I can't believe her. She is finally telling me this.

"My cast made me," she admits. "I really regret that decision. I feel awful. I mean, I didn't show any warning that I wanted to break up . . . I just said it. And when I did . . . it hurt. I hurt and you hurt, too. And then when you left for awhile . . . I thought you quit. I assumed that you quit because of me. Sometimes I see your face and it looks pained. And I would like to get back together . . . but I know it's too late. You want nothing to do with me. I totally get that. So . . . I'll just leave . . ." She gets up as if to leave.

"No!" I shout, grabbing her wrist. "Uh . . . I know this is going to sound rather weird to you . . . but I'm in love with you . . . and even one you broke up . . . I know I couldn't stop loving you."

"Really?" she asks.

"Really," I confirm, smiling a little.

"Okay, so . . . when do you want to go out . . . again?"

"Tonight?"

"Then it's a date."

She smiled. And I couldn't help but smile back.

"I'll get ready," she says, running away.

I win. I got the girl. The enemy is gone. And all is well.

The End

Okay, it's seriously the end. I said that I bunch of times. But it's really the end this time.

Epilogue

Sonny shakes her head and asks, "You did all of that? You tried that hard so I wouldn't get together with Timothy."

I nod. "Yeah . . ." Now I know she's going to break up with me. Fantastic.

"That is . . . is the sweetest thing ever!"

"Seriously?" I ask. "You're not upset?" Okay, big shocker there.

"No," she mumbles. "Since you told me your big confession, I should tell you mine . . ." She hesitates. "The only reason I got together with him so that you were jealous."

"Wow . . .," I mumble. I lean back on the chair. She did that to get me jealous. "So that means one thing . . ."

"What?" she asks.

"You are totally and completely head-over-heels for me." I smirk as she starts to get flustered. She's so cute then.

"Okay, maybe I am, but don't make a big deal out of it."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Good."

"Great," she says. She leans over the table (while knocking coke on my new dress pants) and kisses me. "I love you."

"Yeah, I love you, too," I say, and kiss her back.

The End

Okay, it's really "The End" now. Everything is fabulous. I'm happy. She's happy. And the So Random! cast is . . . not that happy.

And I'm done. I'm so happy now. :) So how was it? Review and let moi know. So thanks again for reading.
Emmy: It was great. I loved the whole story. (Except the one chapter four.)
Oscars: It was all right.
Golden Globe: It was horrible! (Tell me why, please?)