February 27th, 1982
Alyse wasn't entirely sure what came over Cal after his trip to Creta, or what to make of it, but the next two weeks were odd. Not bad, per say, just odd. The first thing was that Cal would vanish in the morning before she got up. Oh, she'd get a kiss goodbye, but he'd vanish and be out the door –by six in the morning her clock told her when she looked- and wouldn't be home until the end of his work day. It took her a week to realize that there were more sweats and sets of gym shorts and shirts in the laundry at the end of the week than she was used to, and they were definitely too big to belong to the kids.
It didn't take much to figure out that Cal was stealing workouts in the early morning hours before he had to be on the job. Alyse certainly wasn't going to complain. Cal had been so grouchy about his work of late, and the fact he couldn't find time to fit workouts into his regular schedule anymore. If he wanted to get up earlier, that was fine, though he never said a word about it, and she wondered why.
The bigger shock came the day he was late coming home –not unusual in and of it self- but when he did get home, he looked different.
"What did you do to your hair?" she asked, not staring exactly, but startled. It wasn't that it was dramatically different except that…well, compared to what it had been, it was. Cal had needed a trim, but this was not anywhere near as short as he had been cutting it the past few years. It looked, well, not that different from how he had worn it in his thirties, except a little more current, and "It's blond."
"It's always been blond," Cal replied with a snort, but he looked mildly disappointed. "What's wrong?"
"I didn't say there was anything wrong. It looks nice," Alyse admitted. In fact, it looked just like it had before it started going gray. "I just wasn't expecting it." Given the sandy nature of his original color, it was only a dramatic shift because she had gotten so used to it the other way. She wasn't sure how many other people would find it as noticeable. "It's a good look on you."
That seemed to be the answer he was hoping for, because Cal smiled. "Good." Then he kissed her on the cheek and hung up his coat. "So, what's for dinner?"
March 6th, 1982
Not that Cal seemed nearly as interested in eating dinner. It wasn't that he didn't enjoy it, but he quietly turned down seconds, and half the time, dessert. He didn't make a big deal out of it, but it was noticeable.
Alyse wondered if it had to do with how evaluations had gone when he got back, but she didn't ask, and Cal didn't volunteer. He was in a better mood, and less frustrated with the kids, and less grouchy over all, so she wasn't sure she minded whatever it was that had caused the change in attitude.
At least, as long as it wasn't a threat to their family happiness.
She wasn't sure what to make of the fact that Cal hadn't voiced a complaint about Charlie seeing a counselor. She had just been so frustrated it had seemed like the best recourse, and so far, it seemed to be helping. At least in that Charlie hadn't been in detention in school, sent home with a note, or in any more trouble other than the general minor 'what does this do' mishaps, in the past month and a half.
He even talked her into letting Charlie out of being grounded. The point was made, and he had an idea for keeping the boy busy.
"Somehow I don't see how new clothes will keep Charlie out of trouble," Alyse commented as she looked, a little startled, at the bags Cal had strewn across the bed.
Cal shrugged. "Those are mine. I got tired of wearing the same old thing every day."
Alyse poked curiously through the bags. Definitely not the same old thing. Jeans, a couple of pairs of casual slacks, several new shirts that definitely qualified as comfortably stylish instead of 'I'm a General attending things out of uniform.' She had almost forgotten that Cal had a stylish streak. He had always worn things that were casually trendy without making them look like anything other than comfortable what-he-threw-on when they'd gone out. None of it was horribly inappropriate either, even if it wasn't what she might have considered 'typical Dad attire.' But then, her father's mode of dress hadn't changed much over the past several decades. "They're nice," she admitted.
"Well there's no reason you should be the only one who dresses well," Cal teased. Then he reached into another bag and pulled out two boxes.
Alyse took a closer look. "Model cars! You think he'd like these?"
"He was going on about how his friend Gill's Dad was letting them help work on the real thing. I'm not about to try and fit an old car in the garage, so I figured he would actually enjoy these. It gives him something to do with his hands, and his mind."
"They're… perfect." Alyse looked up at Cal, startled. "It's just the kind of thing Counselor Bradford was suggesting the other day."
"Nice to know I know something," Cal commented.
Charlie's reaction to the cars was even better.
His eyes went wide as he stared at the boxes, first one and then the other. "Oh, my gosh…wow! These are awesome!" Then he gave both of them big squeezing hugs and ran out of the room. "I've got to put these together... Thank you!" The last was an after-thought, shouted from down the hall.
"Well, I guess you were right." Alyse, mildly stunned, smiled at Cal, who was looking smug.
"If I'm right about this, you want to see the other surprise I picked up?"
"Other surprise?" Alyse wasn't sure how many more she could handle in one day.
"Come downstairs."
Alyse followed cautiously, wondering what Cal was doing as he led her down into the garage.
She understood immediately when she saw not just their old car, but the space where a second car would fit was no longer empty. "Is that a…"
"New 1982 Blazer convertible in midnight blue? Why yes, yes it is."
The metallic, dark blue finish was far more tasteful than Alyse might have feared. It was actually quite lovely. "It's beautiful but…"
"Don't worry," Cal assured her as he reached out and put an arm around her shoulder. "I figured we could take turns driving it, but now we've both got a ride, and we don't have to trade off taking the bus or walking. Relax, it's got a roll-bar and all the necessary safety features too. I wouldn't put our kids in something dangerous."
"Do I want to know what it cost?" Alyse could look it up, but she wasn't sure she wanted to know.
"Don't worry about it," Cal assured her with a kiss on the cheek. "It all came out of my yearly bonus pay and all that active duty extra I saved up and never spent, and I've still got some left. I figured, we're not broke, we can afford to have a little something nice once in a while."
A little something nice which, in this case, happened to be a very nice new car. She'd heard they handled particularly well, and actually had comfortable seating and decent storage. At least, she thought, he'd had the forethought to get a four-seater with all the necessary safety features. "It's lovely, Cal."
"Oh my goodness!" a female gasp came from the stairs. "Daddy, is that a Blazer? Oh wow! Can I drive it?"
"When you're old enough!" Cal barked, though there was no anger in it. It was more of a laugh. "And after you prove you can drive it without wrecking it."
"What about me?" Charlie asked, crowding in behind his sister.
"When you prove you can go a year without wrecking anything in the house… and you're old enough."
"Awww, man."
March 13th, 1982
Cal was in a good mood as he routed around looking for breakfast that morning. If he could find it, he wanted to make bacon and eggs before he went for a run. Slowly, he became aware of someone standing behind him, watching. He had been in the military too long not to know when he was being watched. He had a pretty good idea of who it was too. "There a reason you're staring at my ass?" Cal asked, grinning as he turned around, letting the refrigerator close behind him.
Alyse's cheeks turned slightly pink. "I didn't know you still had those jeans," she commented, collecting her cool with impressive speed. Cal had the feeling she'd wanted to scold him for using the word 'ass' in the house.
"They've been in the closet for a while," Cal replied with a nonchalant shrug. He'd saved them even when they got snug specifically because he had noticed that Alyse liked it when he wore them.
Now Alyse look uncomfortable. "Cal… about… well about all these changes recently."
"Changes?"
"The clothes, the hair, the car… working out… not that I'm complaining…I was just wondering who-what! What they were all about…" she fumbled, and fell silent with abnormal hesitation.
Suddenly it all came together. She was worried he was interested in someone else. That he was trying to impress some younger woman… other than her. Or at least that he was enjoying the looks he'd been getting lately. That, he couldn't deny. Cal set the unopened bacon down on the counter and crossed the room, tilting her chin up to look in him in the eyes. "You want to know what's going on?" he asked in a low, husky voice. "I'm trying to get the attention of the sexiest, most beautiful, intelligent, amazing woman I've ever met. And right now, I've got her alone with me, and it's all I can do not to grab her and carry her upstairs."
Alyse's face was a flicker with emotions; pleasure, embarrassment... "What about the—"
"Who cares if the kids hear us?" Cal asked, and he meant it. "Would you rather they hear us fighting, or passionately loving each other?" They were hardly little kids. He pulled Alyse close, leaning forward so that her back was pressed against the kitchen wall near the door, and he was pressed firmly against her. "I need you, 'Lyse. I need some of the spontaneity, the heat, the romance… but I only want those things with you. Not all the time, not every moment of the day. I'm not saying we have to come home, bolt the doors, and make out like rabbits…" though that didn't sound like a half-bad idea. "But I can't go on like this… pretending I'm okay with getting old…and soft… and dull. I can't take sitting behind a desk all day and then coming home and doing the same thing over and over."
Alyse opened her mouth to speak, but he pressed his finger lightly to her lips. "Please… hear me out," he whispered. "I love you. I love our kids, and this family and this house and everything we've built together... everything you've built; amazing business woman, wife, and mother that you are. I still don't know sometimes how I deserve you, or everything you've given me… but I'm grateful. I'm not trying to belittle that. But you married me. I don't like trying to pretend most of the rest of my life didn't happen, just because the kids aren't toddlers anymore, who'll sleep like the dead and never notice that mommy and daddy are having a whole lot of fun in the next room. We got married, 'Lyse, we have kids. Okay. That doesn't change who we are… and I don't like feeling ashamed of being myself."
Alyse's mouth had dropped open a little bit, but while she looked a little stunned, she hadn't tried to cut him off either.
"I just want a little more time for us… I need you the same way I needed you when we met. That hasn't changed. I… damn it, 'Lyse… I don't even know what happened to "us." It's buried under schedules and meetings and work and activities and I don't know about you… but there's nothing hot about scheduling sex once every other week between PTA meetings and laundry night. I'm alive, damn it!"
"Isn't that because of the life we have?" Alyse asked softly. "I thought you were happy working at Headquarters."
"I'm happy because it means I'm not away from you," Cal nodded. "But I hate desk work, Alyse. Always have. I envy Sara getting to spar with the new students, and every alchemist I sent out on missions I'd love to take myself. I envy Aldon, and Art… not because I'd like half a dozen kids… but I find I envy their relationships. Even when they're in a room, all you have to do is watch them make eye contact with their wives…and it's like they're all over each other without even touching. It used to be like that. You drove me crazy, the way a man ought to feel about the woman he loves, and you still do, but I… it's like you're not really into it anymore. Like that part doesn't matter anymore, or it's somehow something to be ashamed of, or hidden from the kids. They're not babies. There's nothing we could do that would surprise Gloria, and Charlie's twelve. They don't need to be protected, they need to understand. You should've seen Gloria's face when she scolded me…"
"She scolded you?" Alyse blurted out.
"Our opinionated little girl informed me that I'm a lousy drunk and I should never shout at you like that," Cal replied with a wry smile, more for Alyse's expression than any humor in remembering being dressed down by a fourteen-year-old. "But really… she looked so hurt to find out I'm not the upstanding citizen she thought I was. I never wanted to lie to my kids. And while I don't want to go back to drinking in lonely bars and picking up easy girls, I feel like I just woke up from a trance or something; like there's got to be a balance here somewhere, but I need you… us… if I'm ever going to find it."
Finally, Cal found himself running out of words. He'd talked it all out as best he could. "Does this make any sense?" He searched her face, begging for understanding.
While in his best mental scenario, Alyse would have flung her arms around his neck and assured him it did, and they would have vanished upstairs and not come back downstairs for hours… Cal didn't really expect that to happen, which was good, because while Alyse hadn't pushed him away, she didn't look like she wanted to rush upstairs and have passionate sex either. Of course, after being told that he was unhappy with his great job, frustrated with their relationship, and basically whining like a hormonal teenager, he didn't expect her to.
What she did do was hug him. "I do miss having time together, just the two of us," she replied softly. "And I do understand, I think. I just… I need some time to take it all in."
"I understand." He did understand, but Cal couldn't help feeling disappointed. So much for the magic of his old best pair of girl-magnet jeans. As he stepped back, he couldn't help but ask, "'Lyse… why didn't you ever say anything about my hair before?" There was no way, given how detail oriented she was, she hadn't noticed the gray.
"Cause I think it looked just fine the way it was," she responded. "There's nothing wrong with a little gray. It looked pretty hot, actually."
"Really?" he asked in mild disbelief. Hot? Well he hadn't thought about that. "And my stomach?"
She looked slightly flustered as she admitted, "I thought it might hurt your feelings."
"Like having my daughter tell me to lay off the cookies didn't do that already."
"Well it's not like you were that out of shape to begin with," Alyse pointed out. "And at—"
"If you say 'your age' I'm going to—"
"What?" Alyse looked him straight in the eyes. "You're not twenty-five, Cal. I'm not either. There's nothing wrong with that."
"You can say that," Cal replied, feeling disgruntled all over again. "In another couple of years people will think you're Gloria's sister instead of her mother. Me I'm…"
"A good looking middle-aged guy?" Alyse finished the statement. "A respected General who draws as many eyes as General Mustang did in his days and cuts a dashing figure in uniform?"
At that one, Cal did snort. "Dashing? Are we looking at the same mirror?"
"No, I'm looking at you." Alyse replied. "As much as we've been fighting lately, I thought if I said anything you'd just take it as more griping… and I meant it. I think you look fine. I mean, I thought you looked fine before. You do look fitter now," she admitted.
Cal sighed and hugged her again. "Well good, cause I've put an awful lot of sweat and pain into the last month." And he wasn't done, but he was at least pleased with the progress. Especially since his daily schedules were much calmer now that evaluations were over and he was almost done writing up the last reports. "It wouldn't be worth much if the only woman that mattered hadn't noticed."
"Of course I noticed," Alyse looked almost offended.
"That's what I wanted to hear." He leaned in a little more, his voice dropping lower, softer, as he grinned. "So how about we go on a little romantic getaway next weekend? Just you and me. We'll drive out somewhere, get a hotel room. They're having a jazz concert in Luza. The Frisky Five are playing. You love their stuff." They had been one of their favorite bands to listen to back before the war with Drachma. They had four of their records. "We'll go dancing, and have a good time. I've already talked to Will and Ren; they'd be happy to have Gloria and Charlie for the weekend."
"Wait, you've already talked to my brother? He did?" He'd surprised her, good. He wanted her off guard. "Well, sure, I don't have anything scheduled for next weekend."
"I know," Cal snickered. "I stole a look at your planner. You don't even have to pack. Everything you're going to need is in a suitcase upstairs."
At that, Alyse squirmed out from under him. "This, I have got to see."
Cal followed her upstairs. That was exactly what he wanted. Breakfast could wait.
The suitcase was under his side of the bed, but she had it out by the time he reached the bedroom, and she was holding up the very item he had been looking forward to seeing on her the most, though he had packed the suitcase himself, and only with his favorite things out of her wardrobe. This though, this was new.
The dress was sexy, though still conservative enough for her tastes, Cal hoped. It did accentuate her rather lovely cleavage. Or it would when she put it on. It was black silk, trimmed in red, with a deep v-neck, straps, and a flirty skirt designed for dancing, that fell just below the knee. She had worn dresses like that once. Dresses that didn't make her look like "someone's mother" or "the General's wife."
"So, what do you think?" he asked.
"It's gorgeous," Alyse admitted, wide eyed. "How did you know my size?"
I have my hands all over you and you have to ask that question? "I looked at the clean laundry," he admitted. It had been far smarter than guessing, though he was pretty sure the hand method would have worked. "You'll wear it then?"
"How could I not?" Alyse admitted with a smile. "It's a little daring, but I like it."
"You used to be a little more daring." Cal closed the distance between them, stepping up behind her. "We won't have the kids along. Or work… we can just be you and me for a while. No one we know will see us." And if I can get you alone in a hotel room, even strangers may not see much of us.
