Again, sorry for the ridiculously long wait... but I have been on holiday for the past 3 weeks so you know...

and for those who are interested - which is probably none of you as you have most likely just skipped this little bit to read the story - I visited New Jersey in the USA and actually drove past BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN'S house!

This is the sort of thing that makes me scarily excited because this is the sort of crazy bean I am. :)

Horns out ;D

Chapter 6: Highway to Hell

"So you still like Dave then?"

"I..." Hmmm do I still like Dave? Even after what he did? "No." I declared but Jas just biffed me over the head.

"Liar!"

I frowned, "No I'm not."

"Georgia, you've been in love with Dave for ages, do you really expect me to believe that you, the Queen of having the Red Bottom has gotten over Dave in a just a few hours?"

Good point. Well made.

...

"We can be mates." I declared.

Jas frowned, "What, like matey mates?"

I nodded wisely but Jas just shook her head at me.

"Georgia, you've tried that before. And it never worked out."

"Yes but you see Jas," I explained, "That was because of all the accidental snogging."

"No Georgia, I do see. All the 'accidental' snogging is exactly my point. You can never just be 'friends' with Dave." She keeps putting her fingers up to indicate speech marks. It's vair, vair annoying. I may have to biff her.

"Yes I can," I argued, "I can be mates with Dave without my red bottom appearing or without my lips puckering up or without the call of the Horn sounding."

She doesn't look convinced.

"I mean it."

"You're lying," was all she said.

"Am not!" I replied. "I can do it."

"Liar."

Monday 23rd January

Walking to Stalag 14

This is it. This is the day the plan visa vie be-matey-mates-with-Dave is put into action. I can do it. We can be friends. Of course we can. This is the end of red bottoms and the Horn and the beginning of friendship! Yes. Fab.

8.10am

Walking with Jassy

"This is the day Jas," I told her proudly. "This is the day of the new Horn-free Georgia Nicolson who is going to be mates with a laugh."

She snorted. Well that's rude.

"I'm being serious Jas." I said.

She snorted again, "I don't believe you. You're always coming up with new silly resolutions like this. It never happens."

"Hey! I have given this plan a lot of hard work and thought I'll have you know."

Jas biffed me on the arm, "You came up with it yesterday!"

Good point. Well merde.

5 seconds later

"It's going to work you fool!" I yelled at her then took off running to Stalag. Ha! That'll show her.

2 minutes later

Holy bejesus! My sport days are most certainly behind me. I feel like a panting puff ball.

Correction – I am a panting puff ball.

"Georgia Nicolson," I heard a horrible voice say. Hawkeye. Fab. "Please try to enter the school grounds with a bit more elegance." She pointed her nose up in the sky and looked remarkably like that scary old lady from the tv show 'the Worst Witch'.

Maybe she is the lady from the Worst Witch. That would explain a lot.

"Yes..." pant "...Miss..." Pant.

"And sort out your hair," She barked, "You're setting an awful example to our younger student."

Right, whereas she is the perfect role model. I bet she's never even heard of concealer. And she could do with a touch up or so let me tell you that.

5 minutes later

In the Tart's Wardrobe

Oh hells bells, I look like I've stuck my finger in an electric socket!

Or worse, like Mutti did my hair. There's pieces flying everywhere. It did not look like that this morning. And I only ran for a minute or so. Clearly that was my down fall.

That's it, I am never running again!

In blodge

I decided to skip the assembly since my hair was in need of serious work and I'm a girl who knows how to prioritise.

It's looking reasonably ok now. Well, it's not lacking on the volume front that's for sure.

The others have just come in now looking morbidly depressed. But let's face it, they have just had to listen to Slim's drawling for the past 20 minutes or so.

Their faces changed when they saw me though because I am clearly capable of bringing a smile to anyone's face.

Except they weren't smiling. No, they looked almost... angry. How strange.

2 minutes later

Being eaten alive by angry eating-things

I keep getting question after question, comment after comment of; "Why did you leave?" "Thanks for keeping us updated." "What happened on your drive home with Liam?" "Have you seen Dave?" "Did you forgive him?" "They're getting back together probably." "Are you getting back together?"

I don't know what they wanted me to say because they weren't exactly giving chance to talk. So I just stayed silent as a silent thing.

30 seconds later

"Well?" Rosie asked. Hands on hips and looking ready to biff my lights out if I didn't reply.

As much as I like my privacy, I really don't want to get on the wrong side of an angry Viking.

So I told them all (in detail) the ride home with Liam – including the awkward phone call fandango with Dave before I dropped Liam's mobile down the bog.

(Darn it I owe Liam a phone.)

Then I filled them in on my latest plan: "be-matey-mates-with-Dave."

Jas was choosing to ignorez-vous me during this part of the story. She is probably in a huff because I ran away from her this morning. Still, I think I suffered enough with my exploding-hair fiasco.

5 seconds later

"So... you and Dave are... like, going to be friends?" Ellen asked.

I nodded my head wisely, "Indeed we are mon pally."

"Really?" Jools checked.

I made sure to not blink when I looked at her. "Really."

"So when did you guys decide this?" Mabs asked.

"Me and Jas?" I said. "We-"

"No," Maybe interrupted, "You and Dave."

"Me and Dave?"

"Yes, you and Dave. When did you and Dave decided to be "mates"?"

"They didn't" Jas said, looking rather smug, "She hasn't even spoken to him."

Urgh how annoying Voley is being right now.

Everyone turned to look at me sceptically. "Dave doesn't know you want to be mates?"

I shook my head, "Not yet, but I shall inform –"

"What if he doesn't want to be eh?" Rosie asked.

What a stupid question.

"What a stupid question," I said and dodged out the way of Rosie's biff. "Of course he will want to be mates with me."

Shifty eyes. They don't think he'll want to be my mate!

"You don't think he'll want to be my mate!" I accused.

Mabs gulped. "Well..." She trailed off.

"I am an excellent mate!" I practically shouted.

More shifty eyes.

1 minute later

That is it. I have officially left the Ace Gang. No, I have not left – I have kicked all the others out. The Ace Gang is now just me on my lonesome. And let's face it, I was always the best member anyway.

4.00pm

Chez moi

Angus and Gordy are lying beside me on my bed of pain. I think they know that I am now all aloney on my owny when it comes to the Ace Gang so are trying to suck up to me so that I will let them in. Oh yes, I know their game!

Still, I may just let them join. I can train them to bring me snacks and whatnot. Proper snacks. Not pathetic excuse-for-snacks like Jas's midget jems.

2 minutes later

I managed to ignorez-vousez the ex-Ace Gang for most of today. After Blodge I basically ran away (though didn't actually run as I had already learnt my lesson with that visa vie the hair explosion this morning). But yeah, I escaped them and their betraying selves best I could. Lessons were extremely dull because I actually had to pretend to pay attention. I can't imagine people listening to Miss Wilson everyday. 10 minutes and I was ready to jump out the window.

And lunch was a particularly stressful time because since I was no longer talking to the (Ex) Ace Gang I had to option but to sit with P. Green. And we all know how entertaining her and her mice are...

Yawwwwwwn.

I'm surprised I lasted to the end of the day. I must be some sort of superwoman.

No sign on Mutti and Vati yet. They are probably out not-working and haven't thought to check in at home to see if their eldest daughter has any food.

Which, I don't by the way. Unless you count a tin of old sweetcorn as food. And I don't.

10 minutes later

I wonder whether I should ring Dave? I could explain the matey-mate situation, he will agree and then we will be the best of chums. And he can join the Ace Gang since it is severely lacking in people members are the moment.

But should I really tell him over the phone? Is that what a matey-mate would do? It does seem very friendly and whatnot but still...

I suppose I could ring him and ask him to come round or meet me somewhere. But if we're face to face that just increases the risk of a red-bottom type fandango which is exactly what I do not want.

1 minute later

What am I saying? I have freed myself of my red-bottom and Hornish antics. I don't need to be worried – I am in vair vair good control of myself. Yes, yes I am!

2 minutes later

Ringing Dave. My kness have gone all jelloid. Oh no.

"Hello?"

I slammed the phone down quicker than a quick thing. Why in the name of King Kong's jumping beans did I do that?

5 seconds later

Breathe. Just. Breathe.

10 seconds later

Holy crap the phone is ringing. I repeat: THE PHONE IS RINGING!

Should I answer it? What if it's Dave? I can't answer it.

2 seconds later

"Hello?"

"Georgia?" Ohhh in the name of an anti-climax thank you Big G it's only Vati.

"Vati!" I exclaimed happily and heard him grunt on the other side.

"Bloody hell Georgia you trying to deafen me girl?"

"Oh come now Vati, don't be too happy to hear from me. Although it was you that called you know. Who did you expect to answer? Gordy? I know he is getting older and wiser these days but he's not quite the super cat that Angus is yet."

"Alright alright just... is your mother back yet?"

"No."

"Well tell her to be back soon."

"And how do you expect me to do that Vati dear?"

Grumble grumble.

"See you later."

"Bye Vati!" I said cheerily, "Don't let your badger trip you up on your way home!"

I wonder where Mutti is? Probably trying to force Libby away from Josh somehow. I swear, she may be the youngest person ever to receive a restraining order. But I wouldn't put it past her.

5.30pm

All snugly snug in my bed with my jim jams on and pop tarts for eating. See, who needs the Ex-Ace Gang members when you've got this?

Me, that's who.

1 minute later

It is quite boring though. I suppose I could get started on some homework but I don't think I'm up to it yet. Maybe in a few years. Or decades.

5.45pm

Door just went and I can hear Mutti scuttling into the house. I climbed out of bed and opened my door.

"Just come right in," I heard Mutti say then Libby shouted: "Mine! Come with me. He's miiiiiiine!"

Oh fab, they've actually kidnapped Josh. What is his Mutti going to think? She'll probably press charges and my Mutti and Vati will get taken away and I'll have to go and live in an orphanage.

Actually, that doesn't sound so bad...

30 seconds later

"Mutti", I said as I walked down the stairs, "When you and vati go to prison can I have your prada handbag? I doubt you will have much use for it in your-"

I stopped talking. Because I'd entered the lounge. And Josh wasn't being held captive by Libby and Mutti. Oh no.

Dave was.

"Georgia dear, Dave here was just outside," Mutti said but I didn't really hear her. I was too busy staring at Dave like a goosegog. He was dressed in a vair groovy way with his hair spiked up a bit. And I was in my jim jams and severely lacking in the makeup department.

"Would you like something to eat?" Mutti asked Dave.

"No thankyou," he replied which was a tad disappointing as it would have been rather amusing for Mutti to offer up an old tin of sweetcorn – which is the only food left here.

All four of us were in the room then just glancing at each other.

Well, Libby was actually just playing with Dave's hair but he was too busy looking from Mutti to me to notice.

10 seconds later

"Well," Mutti began after what seemed like hours, "Why don't we give you some privacy? Come on Libby dear."

Libby just growled. A startlingly good impression of Gordy and Angus combined. "No. Davey boy miiiine."

Mutti laughed that fake laugh of hers. It kind of sounds like a penguin being strangled. "Oh Libs, come along."

Libby clung to Dave as Mutti tried to pull her away. I saw my opportunity and said quickly, "Be right back," before scampering off up the stairs and into my room.

If there is a time for emergency makeup this is it. I changed into some jeans and a t-shirt then proceeded to throw stuff on my face.

Well, not actually throw but you get the nub and gist.

12 minutes later

A knock at the door. I swivelled at the mirror and quickly shoved my blusher brush back into the draw.

Mutti doesn't knock. Libby doesn't know what knocking is. Which leaves only one person.

"Georgia?" Dave asked. Oh Christ on Bike.

"Erm... come in," I said, trying my best to keep my voice steady but I'm pretty sure I just gave a vair good impression of a scared squirrel. If squirrels could talk that is.

The door slid open and Dave slowly walked in looking rather serious. Which is never good for a laugh as I'm sure you know by there.

"I was going to ring but I think you did earlier and I figured you wouldn't pick up so..." He trailed off awkwardly.

I wanted more than anything for one of us to make a joke or something. Why was it so awkward? I had to conquer the awkwardness head on!

20 seconds later

"I think we should be mates!" I blurted out quickly. Why? I'm not exactly sure.

Dave frowned, "What?... what do you mean?"

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, "I mean... we should be mates. Friends. Pals. Buddys."

"But... I thought..." Dave stuttered, "I mean... friends? You want to be friends?"

"Yes." I'm not speaking elvish am I? That would be cool.

Dave ran a hand through his hair, "Look... I don't think... I don't think I can do that."

I frowned, "Why not?"

"It's just... after everything that's happened I don't think i can deal with that."

What? He's the one that cheated! I should be the one to say that!

"But... I thought you'd want to be," I said quietly.

Dave took a step forward then seemed to change his mind and step quickly back. He held my gaze. "I want to be with you Georgia."

I blinked hard, trying not to blub. I can feel the tears coming though. "But I can't... I can't..."

"You can't forgive me," Dave said softly, "I know."

I looked away, "But why can't we be friends?" I asked.

Dave glanced down then up again, "I don't think you understand how hard you'll be to get over Georgia Nicolson." He said, a small, sad smile appearing on his face. "There's no chance in hell I'll be able to do it if we're together all the time."

So he'd rather just forget me all together? I thought, but didn't say anything.

Dave opened my door. "I'm sorry." He said, holding my gaze, "for everything."

I couldn't say anything. I just stood frozen like a lemon watching Dave leave my room and apparently my life.

Tuesday 24th January

Sat in R.E

All aloney on my owny

I feel like a bit of a zombie. I don't even remember getting ready for Stalag this morning. But I'm here. And my hair isn't looking explodey or anything.

Not that I care. I have no Ace Gang and no laughs who want to be my mates. I have no one. So really, now is the perfect time to join a nunnery. Do they accept friendless teenagers?

Can I take Angus and Gordy with me?

2 minutes later

Jas and Rosie and co are sat next to me. But I have my book up in between us as a symbol of a no-friend situation.

They keep trying to talk to me as well which is rather annoying.

Well, actually it gives me a great opportunity to demonstrate my ignorez-vousing-ness but you get the nub and gist.

Jas slid a note across the desk before. I pretended not to care and flicked it off the desk in an uninterested fashion. But really I flicked it off the desk in a land-in-my-bag fashion. Then when Jassy went to the loo I snuck a look. It said:

Gee we are really sorry about what we said or didn't say.

We totally think you and Dave will be great mates.

Love us all. X

Ps. I have midget gems when you're ready.

I felt like screwing it up and throwing it at Miss Wilson and her stupid bob but instead I just dropped it back in my bag.

10 minutes later

Nearly the end of class

The Ex-Ace Gang keep throwing glances my way. Probably wondering whether I've read the silly note. Clearly Dave hasn't told Tom what we said last night as he would have told Jas and she would have told the rest of the Ex-Ace Gang and they wouldn't have sent me the note.

Or they are just really really cruel.

1 minute later

"Gee?" Jas said. I turned the other way.

"Yo Gee?" Rosie tried. I refused to look around.

"Please Georgia just talk to us." Jas pleaded. "We're sorry."

I planted my eyes down onto the text book. Did you know there's actually writing in there as well as pictures?

"We didn't mean it," Jas continued, "I think Dave would love to be friends with you." She said.

"No you don't," I found myself whispering.

"Yes I do," Jas replied.

I gulped, "Well you're wrong."

"Sorry?" Jas said, and I saw the others perk up suddenly as well.

I turned to Jas, to all of them, "Dave doesn't want to by my friend. He doesn't want anything to do with me if we're not together and we can't be together because I can't forgive him ok?" I finished just as the bell went.

Quickly I grabbed my bag and headed out the classroom leaving five goosegogs behind me.

12.05pm

Walking through the park

I don't know when I decided to become a rebel as such and take to running from the law but after my little story-telling session in R.E I was apparently done with Stalag for the day.

So here I am ambling through the park like the rebel child I am. It's vair vair nippy noodles as well – I wish I had my knicker toaster with me. Maybe that can be my 'bad deed' for tomorrow – I'll steal the radiator. Sorry Big G, I'm serving the devil right now.

That's who has the cookies right?

1 minute later

"You owe me a phone."

I spun round faster than a fast thing on fast tablets to see Liam looking at me. He is like... everywhere.

"Shouldn't you be at school?" I said.

He scoffed, "Shouldn't you be at school?"

I held my head up high, "I'm done with school. It's very last year. I have better ways to spend my time."

Liam raised his eyebrows, "Like walking around a deserted park on your own?"

I scowled, "It's not deserted if there are two of us here. Anyway why are you here?"

"I'm not still at high school you know. There's this thing called Sixth Form and we get these things called free periods." He said like I was too stupid to understand.

"I know what a free is," I argued, "I just didn't know you went to Sixth Form that's all."

"Ahh," Liam replied, "You thought I was too thick."

"No! I just... I... didn't know, that's all."

He shrugged, "Whatever, I have places to be."

"Right... of course," Even Liam who is basically socially retarded, has friends when I don't.

"So what are you going to do about it?" Liam said suddenly and for a horrible moment I thought he was talking about me and Dave and our lack of friend-ness.

But then having no doubtedly seen my horrified face, he continued with, "About my phone?"

"Oh..." I said, "that... well, see, let me talk to my Vati. I'm-"

Liam held up his hands to stop me, "Whatever, see you around,"

I looked at him warily, "Ok..."

He nodded before taking off through the park.

5 seconds later

"Oh and Georgia?" Liam called from a few metres away. "I'm sure Dave'll come around."

My mouth fell open, "How did you...?" I stuttered.

Liam just gave a small smirk, "I have my ways."

Clearly.

6.55pm

In the loony residence

I tried not to think about what Liam had said for the rest of the day but as it turns out, I didn't have much else to occupy my head.

How did Liam know about the Dave and me situation? It only happened yesterday! That boy is freaky bananas!

And what did he mean, "Dave'll come around?" Around as in he will change his mind and want to be friends with me? What makes him so sure? Has he spoken to Dave? I didn't think they were friends anymore. Maybe I was wrong.

No, that can't be right. I'm never wrong. I mean, this one time I thought I was, but I was mistaken.

10 seconds later

Hahahahahahaha! See what I did there? See?

2 minutes later

I really need some friends.

7.00pm

Mutti just yelled, "Georgia, tea time!"

I replied, "I am too depressed to eat. My life is in shambles I can no longer think about food! I have been forced to give it up."

Then I heard Vati grunt, "I wish she'd give up talking." Which I thought was rather rude but I couldn't be bothered saying so.

"Georgia it's getting cold!" Mutti shouted.

I sighed and rolled over on my bed only to squish Angus's tail – when did he get there? – who then proceeded to try and scratch my arms and legs and anywhere else he could get to off.

I sprung off the bed and said in a stern voice, "Angus. No."

But he just ignored me and actually jumped off the bed through the air to try and get me again! Luckily I managed to sidestep out the way so he went flying into the wardrobe instead (that I proceeded to lock him in) but crikey can that cat jump! He was practically flying!

5 minutes later

Angus is howling from the wardrobe but if he thinks I'll let him out he is sadly mistaken. I like my arms without scratch marks on thank you.

"Georgia!" Mutti suddenly called from downstairs.

"I said I'm NOT HUNGRY!" I screamed down angrily.

"I know!" Mutti replied in that silly know-it-all tone of hers that is rather out of place since she knows nothing. "but there's someone here to see you."

That made me listen. I said "Who?" but there was already a knock at the door.

Crikey! What if it's Dave? My makeup is at a minimum! But at least I'm not wearing my jimjams!

"Georgia?" A voice said from behind the door. "Can I come in?"

Oh lord. It's Jas.

I rolled my eyes and slumped down on the bed. "Sure."

10 minutes later

Jas has just finished telling me how sorry the Ace Gang is and how they are here for me in this 'hard time'. As you can imagine it made me feel very un-pathetic. Not.

But Jas kept droning on and on so the only way to shut her up was to say I forgive her. Which, by the way, I'm sure breaks the code of the devil himself so I shall have to do something extra rebellious soon to counter my kind ways.

Jas has finished her apology speech and is now onto 'reassuring' which I'm pretty sure is a hell of a lot more annoying. If there weren't midget gems in my mouth right now I would tell her to shut her Old Wise Woman of the Forest Speech.

But alas, I can't.

"It's just, well, pretty obvious why it's hard for Dave to be your friend after everything that's happened with you two."

"Mttt hee swteed!" I said mid-chewing.

Jas frowned, "What?"

I swallowed, "But he's the one that cheated! If it's hard for anyone it should be hard for me and I've manned up, so should he!"

"Erm..." Ooo Jassy stuck for words! "But... he loves you." Maybe not.

Ok, stop me if I'm wrong, but I'm fairly sure that makes no sense.

"Dave doesn't love me." I told her.

Jas rolled her eyes. "Of course he does. That's why he can't be friends with you."

"Surely if he loves me he would want to be my friend."

Jas wiggled her finger. "Not necessarily. It would just be too painful for him."

I frowned, "Well that's stupid."

"Not really."

"Yes it is."

"No, I don't th-"

"Jas!" I snapped ,"Just agree with me. I am a devil-worshipper convert, you don't want me on your bad side." I said in my scariest voice.

Jas just raised her eyebrows.

10.10pm

110 speeches and a zillion midget gems later and Jas has finally left. She made me promise to talk to the Ace Gang again and sit with them at lunch. I drawed it out a bit (and made her beg) but to be honest, if I had to suffer another conversation with nauseating P. Green again I may have hung myself right then.

I was beginning to think Jas would never leave but then she decided she wanted to retrieve a jacket I borrowed from my wardrobe.

So naturally, I let her.

1 minute later

To be fair, it could have been much, much worse.

I think Angus's spell in the wardrobe actually calmed him down a bit. It took him at least 0.5 seconds to launch himself at an unsuspecting Jas and startle her to death.

And he only gave her a few odd scratches here and there before clambering off and strolling out the door lazily.

Pretty mild I'd say. Hilarious to watch of course, but still, pretty mild.

I was laughing like a loon on loon tablets I was.

Jas strangely, was not.

Thursday 26th January

I didn't skip Stalag yesterday or today. I figured the best kind of devil-followers are those that are sneaky. So I didn't want to draw attention to myself by missing loads of lessons at once.

Also, I promised Jas I would see the Ace Gang and Rosie's Viking Wrath is far scarier than anything the devil can throw at me.

But when the bell went today I saw all the Barmy Army (minus Dave of course) waiting outside for the Ace Gang (minus me) so I quickly ran away.

Hence I am now walking home on my tod.

Well, not really, as the devil is walking with me. That's what happens, you see. I shall never be alone again. Mwhaaa!

2 minutes later

Oh my giddy god! You will never guess who is stood outside my house!

Well, actually, you probably can – it's fairly easy. I'll give you a clue. It starts in D and end in AVE.

30 seconds later

I walked up to Dave in a vair glaciosity-at-all-times manner. He looked up when he saw me.

"So," he began, "I was thinking..." then he smiled this amazingly groovy fabby gorgeous smile... that I totally want on a matey-mate and nothing more of course.

2 seconds later

Blimey the Devil works his magic fast! He's better than Big G and Buddha combined! Bring on the highway to hell!

*Pause for ACDC-tribute dancing*

Like aways, I please ask you spare a few seconds to write me a review if you will... :)

Horns out ;D

x