A/N: Thanks for all the reviews, everyone! I love them so!
.o.o.o.
Chapter 6: Kunoichi Ideals vs. Fangirl Squeals
.o.o.o.
"So, Itachi, how's the second ninja summer camp going?" Anko
"Pretty good, but Kisame keeps wanting us to make two permanent teams for some kind of weird competition thing," Itachi said. "I knew hooking up cable for him was bad news…"
"Yikes," Anko laughed. "Where are Iruka and Mizuki?"
"The Academy only let out a week ago—they're in recovery," Itachi said. "Naruto is giving us progress reports. Iruka is improving, but Mizuki somehow managed a five-day hangover."
"Wow, that beats my three-and-a-half-day one," Anko mused. "Anyways, how are your adorable little campers?"
"Pretty good. Naruto's chakra control is still fuzzy; despite his practice…I'm almost wondering if it is screwing with the control on purpose to mess with him," Itachi sighed. "Sasuke's having fun looking at options that don't put him in my shadow—so happy about that, by the way—I think Gai's going to have to fight Kisame for that Lee kid when he graduates…we still haven't gotten Neji into therapy, though…"
"How long have you been trying?" Anko asked.
"Since I met him," Itachi said.
"Yet another yikes…" Anko said. "So, how are our little kunoichi in training? Looks like you've got more this year!"
"Yes...my brother seems to have managed a fan club," Itachi said. "He's terrified and keeps around Kisame most of the time—Samehada apparently dislikes fangirls."
"Really?"
"Yes. Kisame was very specific on her feelings," Itachi said. "I've even heard her growl a few times this week."
"So…what do you do with the fangirls? Make them train?"
"We try—it doesn't always go well and many 'take breaks' frequently to ogle either Sasuke or Neji. Hinata usually spars with Naruto and Sakura with Kiba, and they made both of them cry for being so 'boyish'…of course I only have secondhand accounts or believe me, minor torture techniques would have been applied. Ino shut them up, apparently."
"Really now?" Anko asked darkly. "I know Kure-chan likes Hinata's potential…and if Sakura's tough enough to tangle with a semi-trained Inuzuka already, that's epic…and I know Inoichi trains his girl hard…Itachi-kun?"
"Yes?" Itachi asked, not sure he liked where this was going but also not sure he could control it.
"Can Kure-chan and I take the girls next week? Pretty please with dango on top?"
"…That would work better without the kunai to my throat."
"Oh. Sorry, force of habit! Bye!"
"What was that?" Kisame asked. "Oh, and Akamaru's somehow up a tree. Should I just get him down myself or make one of the kids tree-walk for him?"
"I'll get the dog," Itachi said. "And I may have doomed the fangirls in this camp."
"…Samehada says if she had arms, she'd hug you."
.o.o.o.
"Hello future kunoichi of Konoha!" Anko cheered. "Welcome to your one week of intensive lady-nin training! My name is Mitarashi Anko, special jonin and all-around badass! This is Yuuhei Kurenai, recent jonin and the classiest genjustsu user in the five countries!"
Kurenai sighed—Anko was really into this. Still, if they were weeding out girls who brought shame to the word kunoichi she was all for it…life as a female ninja was hard enough without fangirls making you look bad.
"So, everyone, names, specialties, and dreams!" Anko said. "You!"
"Kunbara Mei," a redheaded girl said. "I…um…well, I'm not sure what I'm good at but me dream…" She giggled.
Kurenai crossed her off the list of acceptable candidates.
"Next!"
"Haruno Sakura! I'm good at taijutsu and chakra control! I…um…I'm thinking of teaching at the Academy, actually," Sakura said. "Or a genin team if I make jonin."
Kurenai heard someone loudly hiss "manly forehead" and saw Ino threateningly crack her knuckles. She looked for the speaker and crossed her off the list too.
The introductions went on. Hyuuga Hinata wasn't sure of her dream yet, but like Sakura she liked taijutsu, and was also into medicine. Yamanaka Ino was good at leading and actually had a dream of being in ANBU. A girl named Tenten wanted to be a weapons master and one day be as famous as Tsunade of the sannin. Most girls giggled a lot—probably about Sasuke or Neji.
Kurenai and Anko both considered it a setback that almost no one else knew who Tsunade even was.
"All right, first lesson—Senju Tsunade! Granddaughter of the first Hokage, student of the Third Hokage, and one of the three Legendary Sannin of the Leaf!" Anko said. "She is possibly the strongest kunoichi to have ever lived and had two main focuses—medical ninjutsu, which she mastered, and taijutsu, where she was known to be stronger than any other person thanks to her perfect application of chakra to physical fighting!"
"She's totally amazing!" Tenten told the other girls. "With the flick of a finger, she could shatter a boulder!"
"That's right, Tenten-chan," Kurenai said. "She's also an excellent example of a kunoichi who doesn't fit the mold—she is known for her power instead of, say, her charm or her wiles." She felt it prudent to leave out how Tsunade was also famous for her bust.
"Wow. Was she pretty?" one girl asked.
"Who cares?" Anko asked, also not mentioning the sannin's chest for the sake of keeping the class on track. "She could beat up everyone in this village short of the Hokage himself—that's what matters for the legacy of Tsunade."
"So, let us all emulate the greatness of Tsunade-hime by practicing our taijutsu!" Kurenai said. "Anko, I'll let you have the lead."
"Kure-chan, we'll only have four tomorrow, this I swear," Anko whispered, saluting.
.o.o.o.
She was right. Come Thursday morning, only Tenten, Hinata, Sakura, and Ino were there.
"U-um, sensei," Hinata told Kurenai. "Th-the other girls said they'd r-rather do the normal camp…"
"Pussies," Anko muttered.
"Language," Kurenai scolded. "In that case I guess I can tell you about some other famous Konoha kunoichi, and we'll see if any of that strikes your fancy. Senju Mito, the wife of the first Hokage, was a sealing master and, little known to many in Konoha, aided him when Madara summoned the Kyuubi at the Valley of the End."
"Go Mito-sama!" Ino said, wide-eyed.
"Yes. Now, we also have-"
"Excuse us."
Kurenai looked over. Mei, a girl with pigtails, and two women—one of whom was chunin she vaguely recalled—stood over near the edge of their clearing. "May I help you?"
"We want to know why our daughters were so heavily mistreated, shinobi-san," Mei's mother said.
"Mistreated? Last I checked, taijutsu practice was common during Itachi's camp, as was intense taijutsu in order to build stamina," Kurenai said.
"Itachi-san allowed breaks," the woman said.
"So did we. It lasted for fifteen minutes and we even provided cold water," Anko. "Look, Itachi might be okay if some of his students get bored and slack off—while coincidentally staring at their crushes—but this is an intensive crash course of what it takes to be a strong kunoichi. If they want to be girls who make genin, run a ton of D-ranks, and then get married and never think of the ninja life again, this isn't for them."
"Marriage is not something that gets in the way of being the shinobi," the chunin said.
"Of course not—look at Uchiha Mikoto: an excellent jonin, an even better mother, and if needed she'll take missions now that her younger son has babysitters," Kurenai said.
"We actually had a mission together last month…that woman is a badass with a ninjato, let me tell you," Anko said. "I really think we bonded."
"Probably because Sasuke says you're the only girl near Itachi's age who doesn't throw herself at him…but then we found out Kiba's sister's like that too. So at least Itachi has two girls he can trust," Sakura said.
"Why would Sasuke-kun talk to you?" Mei asked.
"Oh, he Naruto and I were eating ramen with Kisame-sensei and wondering if Mizuki had become Emo," Sakura said.
"You went on a date with Sasuke-kun?" Mei demanded.
"…no," Sakura said quietly. "No, I was just eating ramen with him and Naru-"
"Sasuke-kun is mine!"
"I can settle this!" Anko declared. "Ladies, honor duel!"
"Anko," Kurenai said warningly.
"What?" Ino asked, horrified. "But, sensei, Sakura…"
"Is going down!" Mei yelled, launching herself at the pink-haired girl. Sakura sidestepped. "Hold still, forehead!"
"You're dead, Kunbara!" Ino yelled. "Only I get to call her that! And I was saying Sakura can kick your ass!"
Sakura took a deep breath. When Mei rushed her again she stepped forward, shoved the girl's shoulder to spin her around, and jammed her knee into the small of her back while boxing her ears. She finished up with a leg sweep followed by a jump, leaving Mei on the ground and Sakura standing over her.
"It's official—ten year old taijutsu prodigy, right here!" Anko cheered.
"Chunin-san, I would like for you to talk long and hard about your daughter's reasons for wanting to be a shinobi, please," Kurenai said. "Should they be secure, she may return tomorrow." She turned to Mei's mother. "Kunbara-san, I recommend Mei vastly improve herself if she even wishes to graduate the shinobi academy. Please leave, all of you."
"Now, since I mentioned her, let's focus on Mikoto-san. She participated in the third ninja war until she was five months pregnant with Itachi san, and was awarded for her cunning in the Battle of the Moonlit Pass…"
.o.o.o.
"Samehada's not happy," Kisame said as a bunch of the girls who'd come back from Kurenai's camp "took breaks" and sat down to ogle. "She's really, really not happy, guys."
"I can hear the growling just fine, thank you," Itachi said. "Wait…Kisame, send the girls home—tell them there's a competition they'll be in on Saturday and they'll need to prepare. Mizuki, run this message to Kurenai for me…"
"We're going to do it?" Kisame asked hopefully.
"Yes, Kisame. You'll get your two-team competition," Itachi said. "But here's how you and Iruka are going to tailor it…"
.o.o.o.
"Welcome, ladies and gentlemen!" Kisame said cheerfully. "This is the only, the only, Future Kunoichi of Konoha Showdown! I'm your host Kisame and this is Mizuki, my color commentator."
"Green," Mizuki said sarcastically, having been forced into this.
"Remember your training, ladies," Anko said. "Oh?"
It was the pigtailed girl from Thursday. She bowed. "Anko-senpai, I wish to compete on your team. My momma and I had a talk, and I'm going to be a good kunoichi!"
"Name and abilities—with feeling this time," Anko said.
"Suri Honda!" Suri said. "I like ninjutsu, especially fire ones!"
"Welcome Suri," Anko said. "Okay ladies, listen up—you are to beat those girls into the dust and show them that being a kunoichi takes more commitment than just mooning over boys! Can I get a yes ma'am?"
"Yes ma'am!" the five yelled.
"All right! Proceed to your challenges!" Anko said.
"…Wow," Iruka said. "Now that is , you're going to be tested in the basic areas of being a kunoichi—cunning, patience, strength, endurance, and chakra control. As one team has twice as many as the other, they will have two people do each challenge with the scores evened out. Now, first, the test of cunning!"
"Um, I think that's you, Ino. I'm smart, but you fit the definition of cunning better," Sakura said.
"All right," Ino said, heading up.
"For this test, you need to arrange the puzzle pieces so you can get to the key behind it," Iruka said. "You will work in these cubicles so the others cannot see what you are doing."
Ino looked at the puzzle—it seemed like it could be moved to where there was a hole in it. She began shifting the pieces—darn it, puzzles were Sakura's thing…
Wait. Puzzles were Sakura's thing and Sakura said cunning was her thing.
Wait again…arrange? Ino pulled the pieces out, stacked them, and held up the key.
"Ino Yamanaka wins with a time of one minute and twelve seconds!" Kisame cheered. "What a win, ladies and gentlemen!"
"Purple and blonde," Mizuki said, sharpening a shuriken.
The other girls slunk back, annoyed.
"Next, the challenge of patience! Choose your competitor!" Kisame announced.
"Hinata," the other four said.
"Okay girls, for this challenge you have to meditate on this plank placed on a stump. If you move too much, you'll fall," Iruka said. "You can begin. Asuma-san has agreed to monitor you during the other events."
"And the test of patience has begun!" Kisame said. "Next—the test of strength!"
Tenten easily cut deeper into a hunk of wood with a kunai than the other girls.
"Wow…that was...really all you had?" Kisame asked.
"If we had even teams it would have been tug-of-war, but we don't," Iruka replied.
"Orange," Mizuki sighed, scanning the crowd of semi-interested kids and seeing a hyperactive Naruto. "Neon orange."
"Next is the test of endurance!" Kisame said. "How long can the girls take—being dragged by Hana Inuzuka's ninken?"
"I'll do it," Suri offered. "I like dogs."
"Keep a good grip," Sakura said.
Meanwhile, Hinata won the test of patience as the other girls tried to sneak a peek to see if Sasuke was looking at them—he was seated far enough to the left that they'd tried to turn and fallen.
"And they're off! Ladies and gentlemen, this looks like a doozy! Those triplet canines are giving it all they've got! Ooh, one girl goes down, it's neck and neck, leash and leash!" Kisame cheered.
"Wait, no, the girl in blue let go too. The winner is the girl in green," Mizuki said.
"Winner, Suri Honda!"
"Chakra control's in the bag with you, Sakura!" Ino cheered. "Clean sweep!"
It was…not that there wasn't an objection.
Mei Kunbara jumped at Sakura, who shoved her into a bobbed blonde, who tried to punch Sakura only for Ino to intercept…
And thus the Future Kunoichi of Konoha Showdown became the Legendary Academy Girls Catfight of Doom.
.o.o.o.
"Ladies, drinks on me," Kisame said. "Samehada salutes you."
Anko grabbed her sake. "Man I love training little crazies. Iruka, Mizuki, if you ever need a sub-"
"No!" both men yelled.
.o.o.o.
For those wondering, Suri will be recurring. She's essentially there to show an "average" ninja compared to what the Konoha 12 (and Sand Siblings) eventually become.
Yes, Samehada hates herself some fangirls. Neither Kisame nor the previous wielder know why 9beyond the obvious). And yes, Kisame essentially wanted to do a no-elimination Ninja-kid Survivor kind of thing.
Read and review, everyone!
