Time had gone by slowly, my thoughts getting the better of me. What was I going to do now? Mello had been acting like nothing had happened. My stomach turned at how he could do this to me. I keep telling myself that it's okay because we aren't that serious, but I know better. Every time were together I feel closer to him than I have ever felt to anyone in my life. Even now looking over at him I feel butterflies in my stomach. I just want to hold his hand and never let it go.

Mello looked over at me for a moment a smile on his face before pulling his phone out and checking it. My curiosity has gotten the better of me as he texts away. I push down all the feelings that I have to the pit of my stomach. This isn't who I am, but I want Mello to be mine and mine only. When he finished texting he looked over at me with a smile,

"I have to go. I'll be back in like an hour okay?"

He leaned in pressing his lips to mine briefly.

I couldn't do this. As I looked up at the blond as he was slipping into his jacket something inside me told me to just do it.

"Mello, will you go out with me? Just me and you."

My heart beat wildly, my hands getting sweaty. What was I thinking asking? This was stupid. He would never go—

"Like can we date?" He laughed putting his jacket on and zipping it. "Matt we have had this conversation before if I'm remembering correctly." He shook his head as he opened my bedroom door. "I'll think about it, but I have to go."

I didn't say a word as he left. Sure he'd think about. I rolled my eyes as I laid back on my bed. He'd come back after doing whatever and he'd act like I had never asked. All I could do was lay in bed and dream. Maybe there was hope and he'd choose me. I wasn't betting anything on it.

Later on that night Mello had come back to stay the night with me. We were both in the living room watching tv as I smoked a cigarette. I kept thinking of way to bring it back up, but I was unsure of how. Maybe I should let it go? I shrugged.

"What's wrong?"

Mello asked scooting the ashtray closer to me.

"Nothing," I responded. What was the use anyway. I was only a friend that he could have sex with and talk to when he was bored. Someone else had his time. I was insignificant so, why? Why was I doing this to myself?

"You sure?"

Nodding my head I leaned against him taking a long drag on my cigarette. I had never enjoyed a cigarette so, much in my life before. This was just how life would be. Looking up at him I'd make this work somehow. I wasn't giving up without a fight.