A/N: well here we go I couldn't really think up a title for this chapter hence the crappy title. Some hurt comfort going on here and drug abuse. Hope you like it. Here we are ENJOY!

Chapter Seven:Remembrance

With school supplies in hand they had returned to school after a quick trip into the ice cream parlor. Since their little trip Freya had been in absolute bliss with Draco to play with. It was just the day before sorting now, a lovely Thursday morning, but Severus was finding himself wishing time would move a little faster.

Aislinn and he were currently doing the inventory of his stores to prepare for the New Year. She was notoriously faster at it that he was; he rechecked her work whenever she wasn't paying attention in an attempt to find any flaw in it, but it was quickly apparent that she was just as thorough in her measurements as he was in his.

"Frog Livers. 47 livers, 6 ounces." Aislinn announced tapping her wand on the lid. The information simultaneously scrawled itself upon the lid and within the inventory ledger in her neat curling handwriting.

"That would seem to be all." Snape lied smoothly, checking the section off his list.

"You're lying." Aislinn accused. He didn't even bother to look up at her, choosing instead to recheck that all the sections he had intended her to help with had indeed been finished.

"I have done no such thing. What could possibly have gotten such a silly notion stuck in your head?" He drawled in a dry tone. He had been asked to accept her help, and though she had been competent so far Severus had become used to working on his own.

"Ah, well then I suppose these extra two sections on your list simply appeared without your notice? Somehow I find that rather hard to believe." Aislinn's voice murmured from right over his shoulder. The wizard jumped, he had not heard her approach.

"Bloody hell! How does she do that?" Snape exclaimed at himself in his mind. He carefully kept his shocked reaction to himself, trying to ignore the deep unease he felt at her unnoticed approach to his back."Those do not need to be completed as of yet." He told her in an offhanded manner, setting the list aside and busying himself straitening up his desk. The more of a scene he made about it the more she would insist on helping.

"Bullocks," Was her reply as the list was snatched neatly from the desktop. "Magically sensitive and Poisonous. Now why would these, out of all the items on the list, have to wait I wonder." Her tone positively dripped with sarcasm as she tapped her chin with one long finger. Her gray eyes rolled slowly to him, sparkling with dark humor.

"Because, I must retrieve the list of potions that need to be brewed for both the hospital wing and the Slytherin dungeon. They all need to be brewed before the start of term, little brats always end up in the hospital wing right from the off. These two sections will take preparation and time, for safety reasons, that I do not have to waste." The Slytherin head of house muttered a bit irritably. It was mostly the truth but he was not about to allow her to muck about with those volatile substances. It would be a disaster should something happen with those, and he didn't need anyone getting hurt unnecessarily.

"Ah, I see." Aislinn's tone was reasonable and Severus felt a little flush of relief go through him at the thought of having his explanation accepted without a fight. "Well I will start on these while you get those. Do hurry, it sounds like we don't have much time at all." She said brightly. Severus watched as she tapped her wand on the list to reveal detailed graphs of their locations; his previous relief was entirely squashed. As she turned to head in the proper direction he cursed is thoroughness right to the depths of the underworld. Somehow he was more than aware that arguing would do nothing. "I will be with the poisons, wouldn't want to go destroying your lab accidentally." With that she stepped through a hidden door behind a storage rack, her voice drifting back behind her. "And the next time you want to check my work just tell me. I would feel the same way if we were in my lab." As if to end her sentence the door clicked shut leaving him to wonder about her near omniscience as he made the long trek to the hospital wing.

*~~~o0o~~~*

Aislinn's stubbornness and frightful ability to be aware, even when Snape was very sure she wasn't, was as annoying as it was intriguing. Most either crumbled or sidestepped him when he made his will known, however Aislinn simply did as she pleased, as if he had said nothing at all. It was so passively frustrating and yet so like some of his house's students, he couldn't bring himself to be anything more than slightly perturbed at her antics.

When he had returned to his office, two very long lists in hand, she had insisted on helping him brew. As much as he tried to convice himself that he did not want her help, but he found himself unable to feel it in earnest. Despite the fact that Draco had taken Slytherin's inventory for him, and even began brewing some on his own to help, he found himself doubting his timeline. Loath as he was to admit it, he could use the help, though couldn't deny the relief he felt when she accepted the offered section of potions without complaint. They were the simpler potions, a fact which she was undoubtedly aware, but were tedious and time consuming.

The Witch settled in, preparing for her brewing, while Severus went to gather his ingredients from the stores. He took the opportunity to steal a glance at the ledger inside the door. He was surprised to see all the poisons had been done as well as a number of the magically sensitive materials. To his immense surprise he did not feel the urge to double check the counts, even if he had the time to spare to do so.

"I only did the ones I was positive about, I'm a bit rusty it would seem." Aislinn said behind him, though thankfully not nearly as close as before. He wasn't sure if he was more annoyed at himself for being caught checking up on her or having been taken by surprise, or at her for having been able to sneak up on him so adeptly.

"While you may find it amusing to sneak up behind me, let me be the first to inform you that it is not an advisable past time." Snape drawled in his best menacing tone, irritated that she had yet again gotten the drop on him. He turned to find her watching him with narrowed eyes.

"I am not sneaking up on you, it just happens to be the way I move. Secondly, knowing your habit of cursing anyone who looks at you a bit off, I wouldn't think of it. I wouldn't consider risking my well being for such paltry "amusement" a fitting past time. Finally, I am quite sorry it my method of movement unsettles you but I will not change my stride to that of a stamping bloody hippogriff, as most do, to make you more comfortable." The Witch huffed irritably. "I will however attempt to make some small sound so you can detect me." This time her tone was softer, a concession. In his complete shock at the rebuff she breezed past him into the store room to gather her own ingredients. Silently the Slytherin Head followed suit, gathering his own materials and settling back into his chosen work area. They did not speak as they began working, moving into the realm of professionals working together.

With a flick of his wand Severus arranged five cauldrons in a semi-circle around him and lit each one deftly.

Staging the ingredients in order he began to prepare, feeling the buzz at the edge of his mind that told him the world was quickly slipping away. He replayed the day in his mind as his fingers moved from memory; they needed no instruction or care to wield the sharp knife across the table top with deft precision. It seemed like no time until he was setting timers and dropping in the last of the trimmings to simmer for their individually required times. His senses returned to him slowly as his hands moved back to normal pace, vaguely he recognized that the return to reality was taking much longer than usual. The soft buzz that held the world at bay as he worked continued to hold sway though the task was done. Snape's long fingers twisted with no particular task; he was fidgeting.

"I never act this way, why am I fidgeting like some nervous child. All the potions are fine. It's not as if I would botch anything as simple as these basic brews." Forcing his hands to still Severus allowed his mind to come back to the real world. It was then he realized that there was someone else in the room. He looked up at her as the reality slid fully into place around him. Aislinn had five cauldrons gathered about her much like he had and yet another off to the side. Severus blinked a few times; each of the cauldrons seemed to be a bit distorted, but no matter how hard he tried to refocus the distortion never left.

He moved his head to the side and a light flashed. There were translucent bubbles over each project, slightly reflecting the color of each, smoke and steam rising through the tops. Curiously he turned his attention to the brewer. Aislinn seemed just as lost as he had been only moments before, eyes glazed and unfocused, simply following her fingers as they sliced and separated. Severus noticed she worked without instructions, just as easily as he noticed she was deviating from them. She cut roods at a sharper angle than requested. The changes made sense, a trick he often used himself, it gave the potion more surface area to react with and maximizing its effects. She scooped the roots into her palm and slipped her hand through the bubble. The material of the barrier stretched over her hand like a skin tight glove, the ingredients however made it into the bubbling pot unhindered by the thing. He watched in fascination as this continued for a while longer, until her motions began to slow and she set five potions to simmer, even extinguishing one's fire. The woman looked up and met his eyes, and gave him what seemed to be a relieved smile; against his will he felt his eyebrow creep up questioningly.

"It's been so long, I was afraid I'd forgotten how." The Witch said softly. It was almost as if she were speaking to herself instead of to him. Aislinn pulled a stool to her table and sat on it to watch her projects with a thoughtful expression on her face.

"You seemed quite capable to me." Snape offered somberly. She tried, unsuccessfully, to keep the corners of her lips from tipping up. "You seem to quite enjoy brewing, that is rather rare these days."

"An old friend stirred my interest in it. Because of him I learned my love of it." She replied softly again. She turned her eyes from, looking down into her hands and twisting the wand slowly between her fingers.

"May I?" Severus asked, indicating the cauldrons. When she nodded her approval he didn't hesitate to rise and head in their direction to examine them. Each school potion was exactly the consistency and color it was supposed to be, and he wasn't in the least bit surprised at that. However, it was not these mundane concoctions that drew his attention, it was the mysterious other that drew him. The cauldron looked to be filled with smoke, silvery gray wisps swirling lazily in ever changing curls over a darker sea of liquid thunder heads. He had never seen anything of the sort. "I am… unfamiliar with this particular potion." Snape said trying to find a polite way to question her, some potion brewers were very sensitive about their creations, if there was one thing he understood it was professional courtesy.

"I expect you wouldn't be familiar with it, as I am its creator and have no need for spreading my work and opening it to the criticism of pompous bastards." Aislinn said a bit shortly. Snape felt a flash of amusement as he distinctly heard her mutter something along the lines of "ministry bastards" under her breath.

"Interesting; it has such an odd coloration." Severus said a hoping for an explanation.

"It has a couple of uses, in addition to its interesting color actually. An anti-depressant, a non-sleep inducing nightmare reliever, and a pain reliever. It relieves stress which is good for your muscles, heart and overall well being, both physical and mental." Aislinn's tone was instructional and expectant as she waited for him to put all the pieces together. His eyes widened only a fraction, his only outward sign of the realization, but he knew she had noticed it.

"There has never been a dream potion that is not sleep inducing. If what I gather from your wording is correct I assume it does not stop pleasant dreams, but limits its effect to nightmares?" Severus asked. She nodded approvingly, a smile spreading across her face. "How could you possibly have managed that?"

"It's a variant of a little known drug, of my father's creation. It has unicorn hair in it so it won't allow for poisons. Have a taste while I clean up." Aislinn offered. Then, as if she felt the need to prove her claim, she picked up a dropper and placed a single drop on her young. With a grin she turned to put her unused ingredients away. The Slytherin Head watched his co-worker dubiously as she walked away, seeming for all the world as if she did not care weather he chose to try it or not.

Covertly Snape flicked his wand in a spell to detect any poisonous attributes, unsurprisingly the test was negative, out of sheer instinct. Quickly reaching over into the corner of the table filled with droppers and ladles he selected a ladle that looked to hold approximately 5 tablespoons. He dipped it into the potion and filled it to the top, as this was, for most potions, a mild dose, and downed the entire portion. It tasted oddly like pineapple upside-down cake, he mused vaguely on the fondness he had always had for that treat.

The flavor made him oddly calm, even a bit carefree as his thoughts began to drift in no particular direction. He slowly placed the ladle back down on the table, his arms moving as if through water. Severus closed his eyes to bask in the rare feeling of absolute, worry free happiness, without even the slightest concern about it. He swore he felt arms wrap around him from behind, enclosing him in a comforting embrace, and a smile to crawled across his lips. He wondered why, usually he would have bristled at contact like this, but it was so wonderful. Far away a voice called his name in passion, again and again he heard his name cried through the pleasantly murky darkness. A final wordless cry reached out to him, sending a shock strait to his loins, pure bliss filling his very blood. Whispered words just barely audible said in a loving and exhausted voice, "I love you."

The calling of his name came again, only this time it was harsh and demanding.

"Bloody hell!" The female voice shouted. He wondered how someone could be so angry when the world was full of such happiness and beauty. Snape knew he had to make it right, to take away this person's anger and show them the joy that the world held. He reached out and pulled the voice into his chest with a smile. Eyes still blissfully shut he buried his face into their hair as it tickled his face and willed the feeling of his joy to spread outward.

"Lily." He breathed the name as if it were a prayer for redemption.

"I'm so sorry I have to do this." The voice whispered in what seemed to be a utter sadness. "Pioux" The flash of white light against his eyelids seemed beautiful at first, but to quickly it grew harsh and blinding. Snape bit back a scream of despair as the reality of his life crashed about him. The hate and pain that he usually accepted as an everyday occurrence roared through his veins like an unquenchable fire. The horrible things he had done flashed behind his tightly shut eyes, cutting him deeply, and he found himself clinging to the being in his arms for support as he begged for the joy to return to him.

Severus shuddered as he fought the emotions and pushed them back, erecting barriers to hold them back once more. He opened his eyes, his face a pained grimace. He had faced things beyond imagining, felt the sting of the Cruciatus many times, but pain like that he had only felt once before. Severus forced his fingers to release their death grip on Aislinn's shoulders.

"I apologize, my behavior was uncivilized. I don't know what came over me." He said once he had taken a step back from her.

"It is I who should apologize. I should have specified the dose for you. You will recover, you just experienced a mild version of the effect and withdrawal of the drug. Now, I am afraid I must be going; excuse me." She turned and exited so fast he barely had a chance to notice the beaker full of potion she had snatched before leaving. The rest stood in the cauldron lazily swirling, a mute witness to all that had occurred. It wasn't hard to stifle the fluttering urge to follow her, his mind was still in chaos from all that had happened and he needed time to gather himself. He ran over what had happened and felt a flush of embarrassment when he realized he had said Lily's name aloud. He wondered if Aislinn had noticed but dismissed it easily when he concluded she wouldn't understand the name anyway.

*~~o0o~~*

There was a pounding at the door, but Aislinn ignored it easily, as she had for some time. Snuggling deeper into her armchair before the fire she continued to stare intently at the beaker on the table before her. She battled the temptation to down the entire beaker in one swallow with all she had. It would be so easy to slide back into the brew's sweet embrace, and with such a large dose the high would last for hours. Just a few hours with her fondest memories to keep her company, even the crash would be worth it. The pounding continued redoubling with resounding impact, she didn't know who it was nor did she much care, her assumption was that it was Severus come to tell her to leave the castle or shout to at her for being so irresponsible. The centaur from her entry painting rushed into his frame above the fireplace, looking frazzled at best.

"Please Lady Blackwater, let him in, he's threatening to curse his way in if you don't." The painted creature pleaded. By the look in the Centaur's eyes it appeared he took the threat seriously.

"Alright! Let his insistent arse in then!" Aislinn snapped. With a hasty nod he turned and hurried to comply. She did not turn to greet her visitor when the door squeaked open, nor did she move to see who the soft approaching footfalls belonged to.

"Azzy?" An aristocratic voice asked hesitantly. Of all the voices that could have spoken she had not expected his.

"I assume by the method of your entrance you have severe and urgent business with me Mr. Malfoy." Aislinn drawled sarcastically, eyes still locked on the beaker.

"Now Azzy ,I know that I have been a right arse and all but must you really be so formal. What happened to Luc; hell I would even settle for Lucy." The Blonde said sadly. Aislinn's eyes grew wide and she craned around the back of her chair to peer at him.

"Luc?" Her whispered tone was almost fearful.

"Azzy what the hell!" Lucius shouted as he spied the beaker on the table. It was a terrible contrast to his previous softness. "I thought you were over this. What happened?" The potion was only a shade or two darker than it's illegal companion and Lucius, who never had a knack for potions, obviously mistook it. "I knew something was wrong. I stepped in to see Severus and he flat out refused to see me."

"You remembered me." Her voice was blank of all emotion. Averting her eyes Aislinn turned in her seat to stare at the flames instead, giving herself a chance to absorb the information. His footsteps grew closer as he approached her back. Though she knew what he was going to do she still flinched when he wrapped his arms around her. The wave of sadness that he resonated was almost palpable as he hesitated, resting his arms on her shoulders. The awkwardness melted away, leaving behind only the comfort of days long past in his arms. The urge to fall back was not hard to cave into snuggling herself back as Lucius finally clasped his hands around her.

"Yes, of coarse. I can't believe I could ever forgot. I needed to use a pensive to keep some memories safe from the Dark Lord, and in doing so the memories of you got lost in the transfer. I remembered your smile, some of the things we used to do together, but never your name, never your whole face." He sounded hurt and lost. As if that time had taken something from him that he could not put a name to. "You've changed so much, Freya should have been a dead giveaway, she wears her hair just like you did. You know yours isn't so curly now that it's longer Azzy." He rushed on in a babble. His long fingers brushed through the tresses, a comforting gesture.

"It's alright. We all have duties to fulfill." Aislinn replied softly, and she meant it.

"No it's not, but I will make it up to you. However, first you need to tell me whats got you considering addiction again." Lucius' tone was quite but demanding. "If all the horrors you have faced did not tempt you tell me what it is that could do this to you."

"It's not that Luc. It's a variant for nightmares and depression," Aislinn protested weakly. "however, if you take too much it is a mild form of it…" She added a bit guiltily. With his silence he bid her to continue. "I'm helping Severus and I was brewing with him today. I made up a batch of this potion and he was interested so I told him to try it. Like a fool I failed to mention it's dose is only a drop a day. He downed a whole ladle full in one shot; needless to say he was high." She said with a hateful little snort.

"It was a mistake anyone could have made." Lucius assured her.

"He was so happy Luc. It just melted away all the pain and hardness from him and…" Aislinn's voice lost its momentum, dying out for a moment. "And then he said her name. I had to end it, I had to use the counter spell to end it manually. It would have only been worse. Gods Lucius the look on his face, it was awful. The pure despair, I could almost hear his world breaking down around him. I did that to him, my wand put that look of absolute hopelessness in his eyes." Her voice was choked with tears, the world blurring with them. "I had to do it didn't I? It was the only way wasn't it?" She pleaded. She turned to face her old fried eyes so incredibly full of regret, drowning with the need for acceptance and for forgiveness.

Lucius transfigured the chair, the back falling away to create a seat for himself, before pulling Aislinn deeper into an embrace against his chest. She cried in a quiet way, fighting every sob. He stayed silent, he knew she didn't care for nonsensical cooing. After a time the Witch quieted and he finally felt it was safe enough to speak.

"Does he know?" The Blonde asked softly, though a part of him knew it was to much to hope for.

"As oblivious as ever. He doesn't even remember who I am Luc, not that he really knew me then either. How could I have loved him for so long and have him not even notice. Am I truly that insignificant?" Aislinn's voice was low and full of pain.

"No Azzy. He was very easily distracted then, and now with this skills in Occlumency he sometimes forgets himself. It's no excuse, we both know that, but this is simply how things have happened. You have helped him so much, weather he knows it or not." Lucius replied adamantly. It was then that an idea struck him that he could not resist. "Come on, get up. We are going out"

"You know I cant. Freya…" Aislinn protested, using the heels of her hands to dash the tears from her face.

"Nonsense. I will have Draco look after her while we're gone." Lucius stood up and let her drop unceremoniously back. She smiled at the old familiarity before getting up.

"Where are we going?" Aislinn asked as she dragged a comb through her hair.

"To buy you a pensive, from a very exclusive dealer." Lucius replied before stepping out into the hall. With a smile on her face she followed, trusting Lucius would make sure she and Freya were safe.

*~~o0o~~*

A/N: Alright I think this one ran a bit long but I had to get it to you guys. I do hope you enjoyed the ride so far.