Chapter 6:

Whispers are following me everywhere I go today. I know what it's about, obviously, but it's still annoying. I would much rather prefer it if people would just come up to me and ask me personally what happened. The rumors are getting ridiculous. I overheard one of the girls in the loo claiming that I transfigured Yaxley into a giant cockroach. I have to admit, I laughed at that one and couldn't help but reveal myself from the stall to ask if my name had suddenly become Kafka. Sadly it didn't seem like any of the girls understood my reference, despite the fact that one of them was Muggle born. Oh well, I found it entertaining.

It seems as if even the Professors have heard the greatly exaggerated tale of Yaxley and my supposed love affair and violent falling out as Professor McGonagall has been eying me warily with curiosity all throughout Transfiguration. Maybe she's waiting to see if I can turn my Wizarding Wireless set into a giant cockroach as well. Thankfully the magical chime sounds, signaling the end of the class period, and the start of my free period. I have every intention of wandering to the Black Lake and having my own private, quiet picnic under the large oak tree, since I have no intentions of going to lunch today after the ridiculous amount of staring and whispering that was going on at breakfast. I sigh in slight longing, thinking of just me and the giant squid enjoying some gossip-free quality time. I stride purposefully for the door, ignoring the staring and pointing, and I almost make it.

"El," a sweet, melodic voice calls as I feel a delicate hand fall upon my shoulder. I already know who it is without seeing her face. Maybe I can make a run for it. If I take one of the secret passages she'll never be able to find me. For some reason I can't explain, except perhaps that I am too tired to run, I turn around instead and glance at her flawless face with vaguely annoyed expectation.

"You're free this period, right?"

"Yes…why?"

"I wanted to talk to you, about yesterday, and I am free this period too so I thought maybe we could go somewhere and chat," she says hopefully.

"Look, Evans, I know you're only trying to help, but please, don't. I'm fine," I insist.

"If you're so fine then why are you failing Potions?" she asks in an insistent whisper so as not to attract the attention of the passing students in the hall. She pulls me into an empty classroom before I can protest. "You can talk to me you know," she soothes in an understanding and empathetic tone that grates on me.

"No, I can't!" I shout, completely forgetting about my cool collected mask that I am used to putting on when it comes to my feelings. "You are the last person I can talk to, and, in case you haven't noticed Evans, we're not friends! Stop trying to act like we are. I know this may come as a shock, but not everyone in this school worships the ground you walk on. If I had known that Sluggy was going to assign you to tutor me, I never would have suggested the stupid idea! Now just leave me alone!" I shout as she recoils with a look of pure shock on her face, almost looking like she is going to cry. Satisfied that she is speechless, I secure by bag on my shoulder, spin around and make for the door, only to find it blocked by my favorite tall, dark-haired Slytherin. I stop dead in my tracks and I am pretty sure my mouth is slightly agape. Shut, stupid mouth!

Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to my life! It figures that my crush would be standing right there when I tear the object of his affection a new arsehole for trying to help me! Yep, that should help my chances with him. He's looking at me with a mixture of confusion and anger, and more expression on his controlled face than I have ever seen before. You know that Muggle expression 'be careful what you wish for'? Now I know what that means. I think it's fairly safe to say that Severus has noticed me now, but this isn't quite what I had in mind.

After a moment I recover my momentum and continue heading for the door with my head held high and a determined look upon my face. Severus steps back just a bit to let me pass and I foolishly breathe in as I pass, once again flooding my idiotic brain with his intoxicating scent. As I rush out into the hall I hear Severus's measured steps move into the room and I hear his velvety voice laced with an unusual edge of concern ask "what was that about?"

I curse under my breath and punch the hallway wall. "Shite!" I shout as the pain courses through my hand and my knuckles begin to turn red. I shake my hand out; I'm pretty sure nothing is broken but I figure it is better to be safe, so I head to the hospital wing. At least there I can escape the whispers for a while.

…..

The morning comes far too quickly, bringing with it another frustrating day sure to be filled with unwanted attention. I reluctantly pull myself out of bed and use my early free period to go to the Potions classroom. Slughorn is inside with his 7th year Advanced Potions students, and, as expected, he has his feet propped up on his desk and is eating candy while reading the latest edition of Wizard Quarterly as his expert students brew their potions. I knock lightly on the door so as not to startle anyone, and he waves me in.

"Ah, Eleanor, to what do I owe the pleasure?" he asks as he casts a Silencing Charm. "How did your first tutoring session go?" he continues with a twinkle in his eye, apparently pleased at his brilliant idea.

I grimace thinking out it, but keep my face expressionless. "I brewed the Everlasting Elixir without any issues," I say, thinking it is best to stick with the facts in this case.

"Excellent! I knew this would be beneficial!" he beams.

"Yeah, uh, I do have one question though. Why did you assign Evans as my tutor? I thought you would want the best Potions student to tutor me. Isn't that Severus?" I ask as I tried to keep my voice neutral.

"Severus is indeed the top student. However, he isn't exactly the most…convivial person, shall we say? I thought it would be much more conductive to your learning to work with someone more relatable, more sociable. Since Lily is quite brilliant at potions as well, and such a delight to be around, I knew she would be the perfect choice. "

"Oh yeah, perfect, that's Evans all right" I huff sarcastically, my tone clearly going straight over Sluggy's head as he grins stupidly at me. "Actually…" I begin, an idea popping into my head. "She's so perfect that she's already helped me figure out what my problem has been. I'm confident that from here on in and I am going to be the excellent student you remember from last year, so I don't even need to waste anymore of Lily's time," I say with false excitement and a nearly painful smile.

Sluggy looks shocked, but still pleased. "Well, that is excellent news Eleanor, and I have no doubts about Lily's superb teaching abilities, but given what's at stake for your future, I think you should continue your sessions at least until the end of the term."

"The end of the term?" I blanch. He wants me to spend two nights per week with Evans for ELEVEN MORE WEEKS?!

"Yes, then if your marks have stabilized, you can cease the tutoring sessions when we return from Hols. Now, run along, I have a class to teach you know," he says with a wry smile and a nod towards the students who clearly don't need his instruction.

In a trance, I force my lead-laden feet to shuffle towards the door and I somehow manage to make it into the hallway before I slump down the wall and sit upon the floor. How in the world did this plan go so horribly and entirely wrong? It all seemed so simple when I thought of it. And now, Severus thinks I am insane and probably hates me for yelling at his golden girl, and I am forced to spend three months one on one with little Miss. Perfect.

Maybe I can drop out and disappear into the Muggle world. My mum has taught me enough about it to get by. I could get a job waitressing and rent a little flat, even get myself an automobile, and I'd never have to think about how barmy my life has become.

"Why is it I always seem to find you sitting on the floor in the hallways?" a jovial voice says, slicing through my mundane Muggle fantasy. I look up and see the amber tinted eyes of none other than Remus Lupin looking down at me, nearly laughing.

"I was a snake in a former life so I like being close to the ground to reacquaint myself with my former habitat," I deadpan back to him with barely a look up. He bursts out laughing, the sound echoing in the stone hallways.

"Well that at least explains why you like Snape," he retorts when his laughter fades off.

"Shut it, Lupin!" I hiss, frantically looking around to make sure no one heard him.

"Keep your wig on, El. No one else is around," he says as he plops down next to me. Why, why in Merlin's name is he plopping down? Can't he tell when he's not wanted? Stupid do-gooding Gryffindors!

"Did I black out? I don't recall asking you to join me," I quip. I am not normally mean to people without a reason, but this guy is best friends with the people who torment Severus, and he knows my secret. No good can come of him sitting down with me.

"You're funny, you know that? Not in the way that James or Sirius is funny, but in a more…witty way. A bit biting, perhaps, but still funny."

"I've amused the great Remus Lupin; my life's ambition is now complete. I can die a happy witch," I retort without any emotion. He's smiling at me, and I instantly know that he's up to something more than a casual conversation. "What do you actually want?" I ask.

He clears his throat and suddenly looks much more serious. "I, uh, I wanted to ask you about your threat, from the other day," he stumbles out, nervously running his hand through his sandy light brown hair.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I was wondering, why exactly did you choose that threat? The one about skinning me and turning me into a…uh…a throw rug."

I raise my brows at his apprehension. Could it be that this guy really thinks I would do that? Shite, I didn't think I had been that bad towards him! "I have a rotating repertoire of retorts for those who mess with me; that one was next on the list," I reply airily.

"Impressive alliteration," he comments with a look of relief on his face.

"Why? Have I stumbled upon some weird fetish of yours Lupin?" I ask mockingly. I smile when his eyes widen in horror and a scarlet blush begins to burn at his cheeks.

"What? NO! Why in the world would you think that?" he questions worriedly.

I can't help it, I burst out into laughter. The look on his face, and the fact that he thinks I might actually believe that to be the case, is too much for me. "Just a hypothesis," I say thoughtfully once my laughter has died down.

"You're mental, you know that?" he asks, but without malice.

"So I've been told."

"So, uh, El…what happened with you and Lily?" he suddenly asks, effectively bludgeoning to a pulp any sense of ease that we had built up in the last few minutes.

"That's what this is about?" I angrily ask. "Bloody bollocks, if Evans sent you over here, why didn't you just say so? Instead you had to waste my time with false niceties and fake camaraderie. Boys!" I say in exasperation as I stand and get ready to walk away. Suddenly I feel his rough hand on my forearm, stopping me.

"No, El, it isn't like that, I swear!" he argues. "She didn't send me over. She just asked for my advice while we were on rounds last night. She's really worried that she upset you, and all she wants to do is help you. She's afraid she's failed as a tutor, and Lily doesn't do well with failure."

"No, of course she doesn't. We can't have Miss Perfect not succeed at something now can we? She has to be wonderful at everything! She has to be loved by everyone! She has to have everything!" I rant.

His eyes widen and I can tell you the moment he puts 2 and 2 together as that wave of realization hits him again. "You don't like her because of Sniv-uh, Snape! Because he likes her."

"Congratulations, you're a regular Sherlock Holmes. Now if you'll please let go of my arm, I have waitressing applications to fill out."

"Waitressing applications?" he asks as he tries to figure out what the hell I am talking about. His distraction is enough for me to pull my arm out of his grasp and hurry away before he has the chance to reach out again and stop me.

"El!" I hear him call, somewhat sadly, but I blatantly ignore him and make a beeline for my dorm, praying it is empty.