Patrick pulled up to the pub a little after seven. He'd only been in Duluth for a few days and was looking forward to having some fun. He normally went to the Ohio-sponsored holiday parties, but this year he was having to spend the holidays in Minnesota. He was an Ohio state auditor, but Minnesota was adopting some of the same regulations that Ohio had been successful with and needed qualified auditors for training. This was a cakewalk for Patrick; he could do this in his sleep.
Probably the biggest setback was he didn't know anybody here, and he missed Lima. He missed his dog. He missed Dave. Actually maybe not being around Dave for a while was a good thing. Patrick could tell that if he wasn't careful, he could see himself falling for Dave. Sure, he was fifteen-plus years Dave's senior, but Dave had a gentleness and kindness that just made Patrick melt; that and those hazel eyes. Damn, he was beautiful. Dave was only eighteen, and Patrick needed to keep reminding himself that Dave wasn't ready for a relationship, not that Dave was even interested anyway. He was obviously in love with Kurt.
Maybe it was the first time they met. He'd offered to buy Dave a drink, of course he agreed, but Dave had this scared look in those beautiful eyes. A look that screamed 'virgin.' Patrick was interested, but that is a lot of baggage, even for him. As a matter of fact, Patrick saw a lot of himself in Dave. He used to be Dave: a closeted jock virgin. Patrick hadn't had the guts to come out to anyone, let alone go to a gay bar until he was a freshman in college, but Dave had been going to Scandals since the summer after his junior year in high school. He wasn't out exactly, but this was a huge step.
Dave wasn't out to anyone really, except a few friends from his former high school. Patrick figured that Dave just needed help. Kurt had helped him, and Santana even helped him, although her help seemed more of a side-effect of her blackmailing him. However, through this blackmail, Dave was able to apologize to Kurt and his dad and get Kurt back to Mckinley. He was also able to apologize to Kurt personally. Dave only told Patrick that it was during the time when he was escorting Kurt to class before Prom, Bully Whips he called it.
It sounded to Patrick like Prom was probably Dave's ultimate downfall. If he and Kurt hadn't been coronated Prom King and Queen, Dave may have been able to find the courage to come out during his junior year at McKinley. The humiliation was just too much to bear. It was as if the entire school knew and they were using Prom to make their voices known. They coronated the queers. Dave said he wanted to die; it was all he could do to finish the last couple of weeks of his junior year.
Somehow, Dave found Scandals and ultimately Patrick. Dave took an immediate liking to Patrick, something about being a "regular jock guy who happened to be gay." Dave seemed comfortable around Patrick outside of Scandals too. Dave explained it like this: if Patrick didn't seem gay, then no one would think Dave was gay by association. This was normal protocol for a closeted guy. Patrick used this to his advantage, or Dave's rather, and took it upon himself to help Dave in ways his friends couldn't. It was Patrick's idea for Dave to transfer schools. It seemed like everything that was making Dave miserable was revolved around McKinley: Prom, Santana, Kurt, the football team - everything. Patrick hoped that Dave could come out to his dad and explain why he wanted to change schools, but after nearly being expelled, Dave's dad was actually open to the idea of a clean start.
After Dave made the decision to transfer schools, that left one thing: passion. What was Dave passionate about? Math, science and hockey. It was simple; Dave tried out, and easily made, the East Lima hockey team. After more discussion, Dave decided that he would take College Physics and maybe look into chemical engineering. Fuck, Dave was smart enough.
Truth be told, Patrick thought Dave was amazing. He was actually extremely smart and a powerful athlete. He'd actually won a state championship and crowned junior prom king in the same year. It was odd to think that these accomplishments weren't enough to dull the pain of being secretly gay. Dave should have been on top of the world, not changing schools to avoid suicidal thoughts.
So much for trying to not think about Dave.
Patrick entered the pub, and looked for the bar. He needed a drink.
There was no way he would know anybody; he'd never even been to Minnesota. Even the state counterpart that had invited him wasn't going to be here, but it was better than sitting in his hotel room a couple of days before Christmas.
He ordered a rum and coke and dug in his suit jacket for his wallet. It was an open bar, but that didn't cover the tip. Before he could pull his wallet out, he heard the man standing behind him say, "I got this."
Patrick turned to see who was paying for his drink, well the tip anyway. He takes his time turning around, and when he does, he's greeted by a taller, handsome dark-haired man with a shortly cropped beard and striking hazel eyes, "Jackson?"
It was. It was Jackson Russell. Patrick had dated Jackson about eight years earlier, but they realized pretty quickly that they were didn't work as boyfriends but made great friends, well 'friends-with-benefits' anyway.
Patrick immediately erupted into a thunderous laughter and clapped his friend on the back as he leaned in for a signature bear hug. Jackson was closer to Dave height, and nearly as bulky, but Patrick easily lifted his old friend off the ground. Jackson was obviously just as happy to see Patrick because his laughter was just as intense.
"How the hell have you been, man?" Patrick was still smiling wide.
"Good 'n you?"
"Good, good - I'm here on business."
"You work for these monkeys?"
"Nah - I still live in Ohio," Patrick then tries his best Canadian accent, "I guess Minne-sooo-da needs help from those guys there in Ohio, eh?"
"Oh shut up, you hoser" Jackson teases back mimicking Patrick's awful accent.
Patrick chuckles and claps Jackson of his back.
"Man, it's great seeing you."
"You too." Jackson says looking at his former boyfriend. He notices that Patrick has kept in good shape. "Still look like you never leave the gym."
Brushing his suit jacket back to reveal his waist, "Well, I gotta keep my girlish figure."
Smiling, Jackson doesn't wait for an invitation and reaches out to feel Patrick's bicep. "I see you haven't lost this – damn – I was kinda hoping you got fat."
Patrick doesn't mind. To be honest, he's not keeping his body in great shape just to keep to it himself. Just for reciprocity, Patrick leans in and presses his palm to Jackson's abdomen, "Well, I see you still haven't lost this." his grin doesn't leave his face as he retrieves his drink and slams it in one big gulp. "Hey - you wanna get outta here - catch up?" Those were the words that he said, but 'you wanna get outta here and go fuck?' was what he was thinking.
"I-I gotta tell my date." Jackson grinned proudly.
Patrick's smile fades.
Jackson was loving the hurt look on Patrick's face, but decides to let him off the hook. "Yea - she's a friend of my sister's - she didn't want to show up alone."
Patrick's smile returns. After Jackson informs his date that he's leaving, they head out to Patrick's hotel room.
XxXxX
Dave always enjoyed Christmas over at his Aunt Linda and Uncle Max's house. He and his dad, Paul started celebrating the holidays over there after his mom died, at least that's what he'd been told. He does have three cousins; oldest of which would be starting high school next year. His Aunt reminded him of his mom. Even though Linda was his mom's sister, she always tried to help raise him like her own, and that was tough with three boys.
His uncle Max wasn't like his dad though; Max was more conservative and wore a mustache, like that was still in style. Dave always felt close to his family, well, until about a couple of years ago. When He was fourteen, and a freshman in high school, Linda kept asking him if he had a girlfriend. Max would always rib him and say, "you don't want those girls to think you're gay, do you?"
He knew, or hoped rather, that Max was just teasing, but knowing how he felt about girls and boys, it made him feel sad and a bit angry. Queers were girly and dainty, like the stereotypes you see on TV. Dave wasn't like that. He didn't prance around and sing show tunes. He liked rock music and hip hop. It's weird; it's like he wasn't really gay – maybe he could just suppress it and it would go away. It's not like he knew any other gays; he had never actually seen one before. And then sophomore year..
Kurt Hummel. Kurt Fucking Hummel had to come out and be freaking proud about it, like Dave wasn't having enough problems. He couldn't just keep it in, like Dave. So was that Dave's future? Was he going to end up some fairy homo queer? Maybe if Kurt realized wasn't okay. Maybe if Dave shoved Kurt enough he would just stop.
So that's what Dave did. And did. And did.
But instead of stopping and being a regular guy, Kurt reacted. He marched after Dave and confronted him. Confronted him with that face and those lips and those eyes.
Why did Dave do it? Why did he kiss Kurt Hummel? It's not that simple. It's not like 'I like him,' or 'he's the only gay I know,' or some shit like that. No, Dave is more complicated than that.
Kurt was yelling and berating Dave, calling him names like 'Hamhock,' and 'Neanderthal.' He had fire in those words; Kurt could see right through him. Dave knew it. Kurt was so close to Dave that he could feel Kurt's breath; it was hot and sweet. It was at that moment that Dave knew – knew he was gay. It wasn't a faze, not a fluke. Dave wanted Kurt more than anything he'd ever wanted in his life, right in that moment. He was also terrified. Terrified of who or what he was. Terrified of his desires and wants. Terrified that Kurt didn't want the same.
Then came the kiss. Dave hoped, no prayed, that Kurt would feel the same, but afterward he knew. He knew when he went in for that second kiss and Kurt pushed him away like he was poison, like he was evil incarnate…he knew he'd made a mistake.
Dave didn't regret the kiss though, just the fear and hate behind it. Dave feared who he was and hated it. But he hated Kurt more. Kurt was supposed to be the one person who could understand, but he didn't and pushed him away both literally and figuratively.
Didn't he know that this was Dave's cry for help? Didn't Dave deserve help?
Dave was shaken from his thoughts when his cousin Mitch walked up and asked him a question about the new iPod Touch he'd just received for Christmas. Dave was the expert; everybody came to him with their questions. Technology – Dave just got it. He understood it; it was easy, like math. It was constant.
While Dave was configuring Mitch's new toy, Linda stopped by and couldn't resist leaning down and hugging Dave. "So how are doing in your new school?"
"Fine." Dave knew this was only going to lead to the obvious questions.
"You have a girlfriend?"
Ugh. Here it comes. "Nope."
"Oh sweetie. You'll find one."
"I know." He needed to keep his answers short so no follow up questions would be asked.
"You're such a good-looking young man. Just wait. The girls will come running."
"Thanks." Ugh.
Max had just walked in the room when he heard Linda talking. "Come on, Champ! You just gotta get out there."
Here it comes
"You don't want to give off the vibe that you're…you know…gay," Max whispered that last part because Mitch had just walked up and sat next to Dave, waiting for his iPod.
Mitch was confused, "What's wrong with being gay?"
"What? No. Nothing…I was just asking Dave if he had a girlfriend."
Max knew his dad could be an ass and didn't like it. He had gay friends, and they were cool. "Do you know what dad? I don't have a girlfriend, does that make me gay?"
"Don't say that!" Max was getting loud. Linda and Paul leaned into the room to see why someone was yelling. "You're not gay, it's not funny to say that."
Mitch was furious that his dad could be such a homophobe. "So, what? It's okay if Dave's gay? But not me?" He stood up. He was literally leaning his leg against Dave as he sat there in wonder. But soon wonder turned to anger and he stood up next to his cousin facing his uncle.
Why wasn't he allowed to be gay?
"Stop saying that. He's NOT GAY!" Max finally shouted.
"Yes I am!" Dave finally let it out.
He stood next to his cousin and faced his uncle.
"I'm gay."
He couldn't believe it. He wasn't dreaming. He really said it. But everything went into slow motion for a second. He could see the surprised looks on his Aunt and Uncle's faces. His cousin looked, almost happy? Like he'd just won the weird standoff he was having with his father. But it was Dave's dad that he was concerned about the most. He wasn't in shock; it was…what was that face? Relief maybe? Dave wanted to run away. He wanted to cry, but it was like his body just shut down.
Time returned to normal and Paul was right there. Right where he should be, enclosing Dave in a hug that seemed like it was years in the making. Dave's body worked again, and he sagged into his father's arms and cried. "I'm sorry…dad…I'm so freaking sorry."
Paul hugged his son tighter and patted him on the back. "It's okay son. Don't be sorry. I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere."
Dave was sobbing and knew he was making a spectacle of himself, but he didn't care. He needed his dad.
XxXxX
It was the day after Christmas, and Kurt was sad. He'd just broken up with his boyfriend less than a week ago and was having to spend the holidays single. It's not like that's new to him, but he just thought, just hoped, that he could go one Christmas as part of a couple instead of a single for once.
Other than the lack of a boyfriend, his Christmas was pretty good. He got cash like he'd ask for. He used to be shy about asking for cash since it seemed less personal, but what was more personal than buying your own gifts? It's like a win-win.
It was hard not to think of Blaine on Christmas. Last year they were both going to Dalton and were just nurturing their friendship. Well, it took Blaine three months to get the hint and kiss him. Dave may have been his first kiss, but Blaine was his first love. To be honest, it was kind of better before they started dating. Kurt always thought of Blaine as Prince Charming. Cinderella was his favorite movie as a kid. He secretly played out both parts when he was home alone as a child. He loved the beauty and grace of Cinderella and the handsome, brave, and romantic qualities of Prince Charming.
When Kurt met Blaine, it was at a time in his life that he needed a Prince Charming to save him from the evil that was Dave Karofsky. He also needed another out, gay friend. Blaine was both of those things. Actually, Blaine was better than that because he provided the courage for Kurt to face his demon. Little did he know that demon had demons of his own and was going to kiss him in the locker room and leave him in shock.
But after that kiss, and later, after seeing Dave's pain, Kurt realized that Dave wasn't a demon. No – he was…he was more like Beast, from Beauty and the Beast, an angry and terrifying shell hiding a tender and beautiful soul.
It was weird to think about it like that. As Kurt got to know Dave, the real Dave, he could see the potential in him; he could see the Prince beneath the Beast.
Blaine didn't really stand a chance. Since he was pretty much the perfect guy from the start, where do you go from there? He was bound to have flaws, but were they the kind of flaws that Kurt could live with? A week ago, Kurt would have said 'absolutely.' But now, even after only a week apart, it's easy to see some pretty glaring flaws.
Kurt desperately wanted the lead in West Side Story. Was it fair to ask Blaine to not try out, or more specifically, accept the lead? No. But, a good boyfriend, especially one that had another whole year to star in all the leads he wanted, wouldn't have to be asked. If someone didn't like Kurt's ideas for blocking a song for regionals, he'd let it roll off his back – of course, after fighting tooth and nail, but Blaine apparently couldn't. He nearly got into a fight with Sam and said some pretty disparaging things about Sam's choice for dealing with his family's economic woes.
What was behind all this? Blaine went to Dalton and admitted it was expensive, so he obviously comes from money. He seems to have a problem with others doing things that Blaine feels is beneath them, or at least him. He's also selfish enough to not think of his boyfriend's feelings when it comes to staring roles... and losing his virginity. The back of a car? Really? Was he that spoiled and selfish? Oddly enough that sounds more like Sebastian.
It's kind of funny; as an adult, Kurt's favorite 'kids' movie was Beauty and the Beast.
The heroine is beautiful, but smart and resourceful. She holds her own against the Beast. At first it seemed as though beast was the enemy. He was violent and scared - this big, hulking seemingly evil creature. Tamed only by the kindness and strong will of the heroine. She had the courage to stand up to the Beast, and in turn he had the courage to show his true nature. In the end, he is revealed to be a courageous, kind, handsome Prince.
The true enemy was Gaston. He was handsome and courageous in the beginning, but later showed to be jealous, petty and selfish.
Wow. Kurt hadn't really ever drawn those lines before.
Kurt was pulled from his musings by a text message from Dave:
I seriously need to see you. It's important.
Kurt tapped out his reply:
Sure. When and where?
Dave's reply was quick:
Lima Bean. Now.
XxXxX
Kurt arrived at the coffee house fifteen minutes later. He was seeing Dave and had to look presentable. Okay, he had to look presentable and he was meeting Dave.
As soon as he saw Kurt walking in, Dave rushed over and scooped Kurt up in a big hug and had a smile wider than Montana. Kurt was glad that Dave was happy, but he did not liked being surprised by a lifting hug. It was intrusive and it wrinkled his clothes, and that was not to be taken lightly – not after spending the extra time ironing them.
After a few moments Kurt finally voiced his uneasiness. "Dave…Dave…please put me down."
Dave obliged, still smiling and happy. It's like he won the lottery or just got engaged – why do I keep thinking about Dave and marriage?
"Kurt…You'll never guess." Dave moved over to a table. He was still fidgety, more excited, not nervous. "Seriously, you'll never guess."
"What?"
Dave just looked at Kurt with that wide goofy grin. He wanted to see the look on Kurt's face. That was the point of the meeting. What Dave wanted to say could easily be said in a text.
"What? I came all the way dow here-"
"I came out to my family." Dave finally blurted out, inadvertently cutting Kurt off.
"W-what?"
Dave just grinned and nodded.
"When?"
"Yesterday… My uncle was arguing with my cousin about whether or not me not having a girlfriend meant I was gay, and I couldn't take it any more, and I just said…'I am... I'm gay.'" Was that the first time I actually said those words out loud to Kurt?
Kurt was proud. This was a momentous step for Dave. He'd never verbally heard those words leave Dave lips. "Wow," he was actually speechless. "Just…wow."
This was clearly the happiest Dave had been.
"I'm so proud of you…wow…I can't stop saying...wow." Kurt chuckled.
Dave told Kurt about how his uncle had been homophobic towards him for years and that he thought that's what his whole family was like, but after Dave came out, he could see that his uncle wasn't really a bad guy. His cousin Mitch told Dave's dad about the 'anti-gay' talk that Dave's Uncle Max had just given Dave. That's when Dave found out that his dad could actually be rather intimidating to others. As a matter of fact, it made him think of Burt.
Dave's dad had his uncle Max near tears after spouting about some lawyer-speak and threatened to sue him if he ever talked to Dave like that again. His dad was actually pretty badass. His uncle said that he was just ribbing Dave and that there was no way he ever thought a guy like Dave could be gay, so he figured it wasn't a big deal.
Later, Dave told his dad that this was the real reason he bullied Kurt and why he wanted to transfer away from McKinley. When his dad asked if Burt knew Dave was gay, he said no but that he wanted to tell him.
Kurt watched Dave's animated expressions as he told the story, and he couldn't help but to think about Beauty and the Beast.
It was nice to see Dave being, well…Dave, not Karofsky. The last time they were both at the Lima Bean, Dave stormed out – of course now Kurt understood what was really going on between Dave and Blaine that day.
XxXxX
Dave had just finished going on about how cool his cousin Mitch was when a blond girl came over and sat down next to Kurt – facing Dave.
"It is you. I thought it was you…." she said looking at Dave, "Christy said that it wasn't you, but I told her that it was, and then she said that I should come over and say 'hi,' so…um… hi." She was talking so fast that Kurt almost had a hard time keeping up. She was obviously a classmate of Dave's. She had short spiky hair and bright green eyes. Kurt noticed that Dave still had a grin on his face, so he must know her and be used to her personality.
Dave's grin turned into a chuckle, "Hey. Um, Chloe…This is Kurt," he nodded in Kurt's direction.
"Hi, Kurt…Oh-mi-god…that outfit is sooo cute, I love the shirt and that vest is…to...die for…seriously…so cute."
Kurt lifted his chin in appreciation. His outfit does look good, and finally someone noticed the effort he took putting it together, but before he could reply, Chloe continued.
"And… shut… up…Those skinny jeans?…seriously fab-u-lous." She said emphasizing each syllable of the last word.
Kurt already liked her. "Thank you. I'm glad my efforts are appreciated. Some people…" He glanced toward Dave, "…could use a little fashion sense."
Dave just rolled his eyes; he wasn't taking the bait.
Chloe couldn't help herself and continued, "So, do you go to Dave's old school? Isn't he just great? I'm so glad he transferred to East…I'm sure you guys miss him though, and why am I the only one talking?" She abruptly stopped wait for an answer, her eyes bright and her eyebrows lifted.
"Chlo – you don't stop long enough to give anyone else a chance…" Dave chuckled.
"Omigod, I'm sorry," she forgets that she talks faster than some people think. She turned back toward Kurt and gave him the chance to speak. "Kurt…?" She waited for him to respond.
"Um...Yes, I go to McKinley, Dave's old school, and I'm sure people miss him…" he looked at Dave who was already studying Kurt's face. "…And, I for one, think Dave is great." Kurt believed it, but said it more for Dave's benefit. Kurt figured that it must have been hard to transfer schools senior year and basically start over on the social food chain, but Kurt figured that was probably at least partially the reason for the transfer in the first place. "So you're friends with Dave?"
Somehow before Chloe could answer, Dave said, "She's a Screamin' Eagle."
"A what?"
"Screamin' Eagle…They're like show choir…on ice." Dave's face was thoughtful. "They perform between periods at our home games."
"Really?" Kurt looked to Chloe with surprise.
"Yep. It's the best…and I'm the lead Eagle, thank you…" She looked to the boys for a response, but they just sort of nodded. "Hey, that's a big deal…I'm the first junior to ever head the Eagles."
"No. You guys are amazing…seriously…" Dave said holding his hands up defensively. "You surprise me every time." Looking at Kurt he tries to be more convincing. "Kurt, seriously, they're awesome."
Chloe was satisfied and smiled, "You guys rock too…Especially since you joined the team…I dunno if Jack told you how awful the guys were last year…but…" Kurt looked a bit confused.
"Jack's the captain of the hockey team." Dave explained.
"And my boyfriend." Chloe boasted.
Dave wasn't sure why that was important, "O –kay…I didn't know tha…"
"Yea…we just started dating after Thanksgiving…" Chloe interjected. "I just ambushed him and said 'we're dating – you and me..." She smiled.
Kurt didn't have words…Not that he had much of a chance to say any words. He just hummed an affirmative response.
"Yep…He was my first choice…He's cute and smart and a good hockey player…well, not as good as Dave here." That made Dave's cheeks flush. It's not that he didn't think he was good, but he didn't expect adulation so earnestly and from his teammate's girlfriend.
Dave could see that Kurt had a slight smile on his face…what was that? Was he proud or something? Hmm. Dave finally eked out a "Thanks."
Kurt was having none of that, Dave was good and he should be proud, not embarrassed. "So, just how good would you say that Dave is?" Maybe he was doing it a little to make Dave squirm.
Chloe thought a moment before her eyes softened a bit, "Let's just say, if I thought I was his type, I would definitely have asked him out first."
What did that mean? That she's blonde? That she talks too much? Or that she's a girl?
Before either boy could ask what she meant, Chloe hopped up out of her chair gave Kurt and quick hug before moving around to give Dave a hug, "I gotta go…we're all going to Cleveland for New Years…" she motioned towards a few other girls standing near the exit. "Nice to meet you Kurt…Bye Dave…" And she bounded toward her friends.
Kurt just looked at Dave who still had his mouth open, but just as Kurt was about to speak, Chloe was back at the table picking up her coffee she left. "Oops...almost forgot." She turned to leave, but paused and turned back and leaned into Kurt's ear.
Dave couldn't make out what she was saying, but Kurt's expression softened from slack-jawed to a smile as he nodded.
She leaned back away from Kurt and waved to Dave, "Bye Dave…see ya."
And she was gone.
Dave looked at Kurt and waited for an answer.
"Well?" Dave was not that patient.
"Umm…she said I was cute…" Kurt swallowed and continued, "…and that she could see why you like me."
XxXxX
