'Naruto' and 'Naruto Shippuden' are the property of Masashi Kishimoto and TV Tokyo.
Self-Combustion
MetaMirage
7
Karin tried to use the darkness of her dormitory to her advantage. She willed herself to fall into a state of nonexistence. She wanted pitch black refuge, begged complete silence. Her mind refused to stop however and despite great effort she found herself periodically thinking.
Officer Tawanaka was dead. That day she had seen him 'escorted' was really a firing squad. He'd disagreed with Lord Orochimaru for the last time. Sasuke had called her back out of fear for her safety, not impatience. The amused look on Officer Tawanaka's face was a sick punch line. One he had never intended, but hoped to stay with her. Of course it always did when Karin counted. The last smiles, the screams, the wide cratered eyes, torn skin beneath fingernails, her aforementioned bathed in blood.
Karin tried to embrace the abattoir of her life.
"Under the decree of our glorious Lord all recruit training programs are henceforth abolished."
Karin could barely focus on the self-entitled voice of the latest adviser. By abolishing the screening process the mortality rate would only rise. Without drills or training the new recruits would be left unprepared... no better than dead. However, the Youth Armed Sanctuary couldn't put a weapon in their hand fast enough. In the past months a new position had arisen called 'snatcher'. These members terrorised local villages by kidnapping anyone deemed fit for service in the name of Lord Orochimaru. Snatchers were extorters and fiends. They were the most loyal to Lord Orochimaru's cause as they threatened families, paid off slave traders and 'reprogrammed' young children into a life of servitude to the Youth Armed Sanctuary.
"You will be assessed based on skill set and redrafted appropriately. Any questions?"
Again Karin had trouble focusing on the few remaining faces in the room. Her program used to be one of the largest. Now a small handful of people remained, without objection, without foresight, without voices.
At the end of the address she saluted. She saluted long after everyone left, trying to chase the overjoyed feeling she once had of being part of something bigger and better than herself.
It was gone.
Sasuke was obsessed with food. In the ghetto life had depended on the next meal with all other thought corrupted in primal starvation.
So when Karin stopped eating Sasuke took it as her giving up on living.
The high table in the mess hall was dwindling. The seasoned officials were replaced with impressionable youths that were killed off on rotation. Everyone's surprise to the fact sickened Sasuke. What else could be expected from a man who sat upon a makeshift throne like Orochimaru? A god complex is innately and mistrustingly cruel. It is shelf life.
"Dinner call! Soup!"
Soup again. Sasuke calmly watched the mad dash to form a line. Being early in line was idiotic when it came to soup. The good stuff was at the bottom so it was better to wait to avoid getting only broth. Sasuke had his position in line down to a fine art. However, the strained look on the cook's faces dragged him from his seat. It looked like they were expecting a riot which meant there wasn't enough food for everyone.
He snatched up two empty bowls and was glad they managed to go unnoticed until he reached the canteen. A fat, spoiled cook reprehended him by pointing a ladle like some kind of feudal sword. Cook was a luxury position in the YAS and everyone hated them to some degree. They got a cut of all the food and ate double portions for very little work.
"You can't take two bowls!"
He glared at the cook and made the older boy squirm. Truthfully Sasuke revelled in the effect he had on people. He would always wield terror with ease; it was his favourite brand of respect.
Avoiding the monitors he balanced two hearty bowls back to the table. Spilling was a sin, one that he had seen other people mauled like a lowly animal for. He finally sat down; pleased with the large amount of vegetables he had managed even if the soup only consisted of carrot, potato and cabbage.
Not that Karin appreciated his efforts or even acknowledged his existence. He hunched over both bowls to protect them as he ate. Everyone with a brain in their head ate like that. Stealing was a big problem in the YAS but especially when it came to food. He sighed when he was done, pushing the second wooden bowl over to Karin. He had a difficult task ahead of him.
"Eat."
Her silence was rejection and infuriating.
He growled, "Karin."
He was angry. Only one of them was allowed to fall apart at a time and Karin was being increasingly selfish. He still had Danzo and his brother debasing his once clear mind in looming failure. He was only able to let his anger go when he remembered how much she had supported him back in Konoha. How she had followed him into Danzo's base...
Before he could reach out to her Karin finally showed some life, her dull eyes tracing Orochimaru when he entered. She followed his progression wherever he went. He wondered what she expected to achieve by doing that.
"Karin?" His voice finally called her back. He pointed to her bowl and figured the way she frowned in confusion was progress. The YAS may be wasting away but he couldn't bear to watch Karin follow suit. His growing attachment to her, on every level, disturbed him but somehow he refused to give it up.
He huffed when a thief snatched the bowl.
The boar haired brush wore away the soft leather finish on her uniform shoes. Karin applied more pressure with the thick bristles. It wasn't enough.
She had worked three years to earn the pair of shoes in her hand. She had carefully traded, done favours and banked all her extra rations until she could afford it. She had wanted the tiny silver YAS insignia. She had wanted a symbol of her status and the envy of her fellow members.
She had been proud.
Karin scrubbed harder, swallowing the sob that threatened to stretch her mouth open. It didn't matter how much she cleaned them. Her shoes would always be dirty.
"Karin."
Her name had become ceaseless, a fleeting attempt to drown out the thunderous chanting, the synched calling that pounded through the cavern.
"Karin."
She tried to untangle herself from the crowd. No. Him. Sasuke's hold on her that was pincer tight. He kept frantically repeating her name to make her stop fighting to free herself. Desperation didn't suit him.
She was going to climb that barrier.
"Karin enough!"
Lord Orochimaru was at the top over-looking the rally. She had to talk to him. Sasuke was stronger than her though. So she stopped struggling and settled against him. The second he dropped his guard she threw him of balance and bolted for the grating.
She couldn't think of falling.
I'll tell our lord to stop. His new policies are madness. I'll beg him to reconsider. I'll stab him. I'll pledge myself to protect him. He's a murderer. The Youth Armed Sanctuary is my home. It's all we know. Why? Why? WHY?
Her thoughts were a strand of indecipherable truths. Each scenario different but faultlessly correct. No matter what came out of her mouth it would be right. She held steadfast to that fact when she landed on the platform.
"Lord Orochimaru."
That was as far as she got. She couldn't choke out a single word in his presence. She merely stared wide eyed as the guards took a fighting stance, Lord Orochimaru lithe with anticipation of her blood. He had only seen her climb as threatening and the disturbance was going to get her killed. Slowly her mind ground through her options but she could only grasp at the tail of one. If she just moved to his left... nothing would have to make sense anymore. She would be dead.
Free...?
"Karin! No!" Sasuke had made the climb and she felt her stomach clench in misery. She didn't want him to see. She wanted him separate. He grabbed her and began to fuss, something so unlike him.
"I wanted to tell him." The scowl on his face seemed almost animated. He pressed his forehead against hers, cupping her face in a synthetic display of affection. "You promised that I could."
His voice was soft but just audible enough for their audience. The 'play along' he whispered in her ear between clenched teeth wasn't.
Play along... have I been doing that the entire time in the YAS...just playing along with the insanity.
"What is it?" Lord Orochimru sounded unusually raw. Although still defensive Sasuke had piqued his interest. He always had. She should have asked about that. Should have figured out why.
Sasuke sighed dramatically before positioning himself behind her and lowering his hands to her stomach. She remained stiff when he rested his chin on her shoulder coyly. "We're expecting," he announced. Pride laced his words heavy. "Karin's pregnant."
Sasuke's lie was only truly shocking because it betrayed an old promise in her. It was common in the Youth Armed Sanctuary for girls to fall pregnant. They even considered it their duty as 'life blood' to the organisation. Regardless of position or father they mindlessly gave away their children to be institutionally raised. Karin had sworn never to be one of those girls. Now her weakness had been eclipsed in the plausibility of her fanaticism. Her hallowed detachment rich subject matter.
Lord Orochimaru approached swiftly and Sasuke stood between them like she really was carrying his unborn child. Lord Orochimaru's expression was etched placid, unreadable. It was menacing to be unknowing.
If he tried to cut me down... would you take the brunt? Would you sacrifice yourself... Sasuke?
Relief struck her when Lord Orochimaru got down on one knee. "It is a precious gift that you are giving the Youth Armed Sanctuary. You are the life-blood, the beloved mother." Fingers grazing her abdomen made her stomach crawl with disbelief, mistrust or repulsion. She couldn't tell.
"Sasuke, again I encourage you to father as many children as possible. I'm glad you have reconsidered. You will make the flock strong."
Flock... like sheep. Sheep is all we have ever been to him.
Lord Orochimaru raised both their hands and the crowd erupted into cheers. "How momentous to celebrate the happy union of two of my most beloved and loyal followers!"
Sasuke hated Lord Orochimaru. Did everybody share in a skewed reality? Was the appropriate state of being disillusion? She and Sasuke were permitted to sit on a corner of the platform and watch the rest of the rally. Sasuke pinched her shirt, worried she would dive off the edge as she harvested her beliefs with the dull precision of a scythe that sowed nothing.
Collection had become miserable. Sasuke and herself were treated like pariahs, shut out and unwanted by prior investors. Eita Yamauchi had been the most repulsed, calling Sasuke out as an Uchiha and threatening to report him. The YAS meant nothing anymore and by extension neither did their lives. Karin crawled the capillaries of the tunnels aimlessly. They made her world feel smaller and safer. She stood when she made it to a pocket, stretching in the quiet bliss.
Then dirt began to burst against the ground in heavy clods. A shovel was ploughing through the ceiling and making a hole that grew out like a tumour. There was a perverse tear in her reality that weaved a glowing malignant red through every crevice, each scrape, puff and groan.
A digger popped his head through the destruction with a gleaming enemy hiate. Her eyes fluttered in a stupor of instinct.
She crept forward and he gasped when their eyes locked in the bloody illumination. She stabbed him through the chest. With a guttural cry he crashed down, Karin wasting no time in stabbing him repeatedly. Everything that had been wound so tightly within her was unleashed. It was avoidable necessity. It was pure carnage.
When Karin returned to her senses she found a soldier's body crumpled against the glint of a crimson flare.
Kiri was invading the Youth Armed Sanctuary.
The recruits detailed to wood work were shirking their duties. Sweeping through the hall she was able to gather they were chopping up empty bed frames for firewood instead of repairs. The hacking and grinding descended into white noise. She had to get to Lord Orochimaru. Immediately.
She didn't notice Sasuke until the last second.
"Where are you going?"
He dropped his axe and levelled her brisk pace. She would be sprinting if she didn't know it would cause panic.
"To report to Lord Orochimaru."
"Why?" he demanded.
She spoke a matter-of-fact. "We are being breached by Kiri at the southern entrance."
Without missing a beat Sasuke slammed her into the wall. Her vision blotched white pinpricked pain and he masterfully twisted her arm into submission. He had her trapped. Always.
Despite everything she remained clinically calm. "What are you doing?"
"Saving your life."
Traitor. Liar. "You are dooming the YAS by obstructing me."
"Newsflash: Orochimaru is not above shooting the messenger," Sasuke announced. Her last thread of sanity snapped when she slammed her heel into his knee. He lurched back allowing her enough room to elbow him in the face.
Freed, she turned on him wrathfully. "You selfish bastard. Unlike you my loyalty goes beyond the dead! I will not stand idly in a crisis! I am a proud member of the Youth Armed Sanctuary. Our Lord will award and not punish me!"
There was a long enough pause for blood to trickle from his nose, down his lips and past his chin. If he tried to stop her again she would make him bleed more.
"Fine," he said decidedly. "I'll tell him."
Her breathing caught. "What?"
But he was already walking down the hall. "It doesn't matter who tells him as long as he knows. It was the southern entrance right?"
The truth she had refused to acknowledge became apparent when he rounded the corner and she realised the next time she saw him would be in a body bag.
"No!"
The reality escaped her in a dreaded shout. She could face her own demise readily but not Sasuke's. In sick amusement she thought, turns out I'm a good team member after all.
It also turned out Lord Orochimaru was far from perfect and therefore Karin was too. She couldn't even begin to comprehend her penance, let alone face it. She held on to Sasuke's arm nauseatingly.
He murmured against her ear, "Leave the Youth Armed Sanctuary with me. Tonight."
She didn't know if it was a request or a command. She just knew it didn't matter to her anymore. Nothing did.
Sasuke glowered at her from the next table. She had slipped a note into Lord Orochimaru's quarters last night informing him of the breech and refused to leave when Sasuke came to collect her. She hadn't expected Sasuke to stick around and from the absolute loathing on his face, neither had he.
Karin had shuffled into the Mess Hall like a sleepwalker. Guard's prowled the rows and cooks darted back and forth frantically attempting to maintain normality in the powerless situation. Things were bad. The YAS recruits quivered with each rumble that echoed through the tunnels and shuttered in terror with each advance. Earth was being blown up and dug through.
"They've taken the weapons district," Tayuya said. The horror of being cut off from their major weaponry kept her tone brisk. Matted locks of hair obstructed her gaze, thankfully saving Karin from having to hold it.
Kirigakure were coming. Even if they fought back it would be slaughter. She still expected the order though and had made a game of guessing how many Kiri soldiers she would take out before dying.
Lord Orochimaru looked as docile as a smoked beehive. He sat like a smug emperor watching the prosperity of his empire and not its demise.
"Good morning my children."
His reply came in the silent begging of his audience. His army was gathered without direction, without order. They were kept at bay with fear or loyalty. They were bound.
"I have prepared something very special for you all today," Lord Orochimaru addressed clearly.
Karin let her eyes flicker to the upturned bowl on the table in front of her. It had been the curiosity upon entering the room and the only distraction from the coming invasion. Guards forbid them to turn over the plates by snapping at them. Everyone was too frightened to even pretend to disobey.
"Kiri are cruel," Lord Orochimaru's voice rang. It made the younger children quake and bought Karin back to lessons. Her teachers spoke of Kiri in a mantra. Kiri will dismember you while you are still alive. They will pluck out your eyes. They will cannibalise you. The Youth Armed Sanctuary is safe, safe, SAFE.
Lord Orochimaru nodded. "But I have found a way out."
A triumphant gasp erupts through the pews. 'I knew it!' leapt from the mouths of the steadfast. Of course Lord Orochimaru had not forsaken them! Karin allowed herself to cling for a moment and savour such false reassurance.
"Let me end your suffering," he continued mercifully. "Turn over your plates!"
Eagerly the plates were flipped and Karin gazed hollowly at the reveal. Thick roots of Odium Cluster greeted them. She stared at the poisonous plant and visions of Dr. Matsuda asphyxiating convulsed through her mind. She turned to Lord Orochimaru and watched as he held up his own cluster with a delusive look in his eyes.
"Join me my children!" With that he bit down on the poison.
Suddenly she felt that everyone in the room was watching her with bulging bloodshot eyes, spastic with laboured breathing. They wanted to judge what she would do; they wanted her to join them. She squeezed her eyes shut and the sharpened scent of raw liver stuck in the back of her throat.
The Youth Armed Sanctuary now had order and it was mass suicide. She opened her eyes to the boy across from her chewing and the girl to her right already chocking.
She sought out Sasuke and something in his expression was sub zero. She realised it was fear but not just for himself. Tayuya simply smirked.
"So that's how it is huh?" she said quietly. She lifted dye soaked hands to her mouth as wet colour garments floated through Karin's memory. She had mentored Tayuya from a little girl, a fierce patriot that she watched swallow. She watched slack.
In a matter of minutes they would all be dead. Kiri would break into a fresh mausoleum. Lord Orochimaru was getting the last stand. His ultimate will. Was it freedom?
She could hear Sasuke's voice in the back of her head like it had been for the last weeks, "Eat."
Well... he had asked her to leave the Youth Armed Sanctuary right? With a dark chuckle Karin lifted the Odium Cluster to her lips, blistering pain breaking through her skin, poison seeping into her mouth.
