It was almost the end of September and start of October, and my due date was in November, so we decided that we'd have my baby shower (even though I fought against it every step of the way) I gave in. We planned on having 1 and planned on having it in the apartment since I really couldn't be bothered to even go out places anyways. My friend helped me figure out who to invite, of course Norman's close friends were coming I didn't really have any friends that I could call my own. I managed to get all the invitations wrote out within a few days with a little help. Norman managed to call almost everybody on the list and surprisingly most said they'd be able to make it. I was surprised, but I still sent out the invites in the mail and stressed that all the gifts should be under a $100 because we had almost everything we needed and all the big items we go pretty early on. We had a few days to prepare for everything and since most of the things were taken care of for the time being.

I was counting down the days until sleep would be a thing of the past and I was kinda upset but this little human needs my attention and I had help in case I ever needed a break. I didn't want to make other people take care of my child for me while I tried to do things unless it was much needed. I had an appointment a few days before the party and I was actually happy about it I wanted more than anything to hold my daughter right now but it took time. I was actually counting down the days til November. I tried to figure out how long it was before Norman would have until he needed to go back to work which was going to have to happen, but the good news was that we could atleast possibly go together if everything was checked out to be okay with our daughter. I knew that sometimes we wouldn't be able to do it, and that's what made me sad that possibly some of the biggest things in her life he would miss.

It was a few days later and it was the day of the party, and I had to get up early because of a doctors appointment. I heard the clock go off and then heard it shut off and heard Norman get out of bed and I just laid there because I didn't wanna get up, I was so comfy.. I heard him start to get dressed and he walked over to me and said 'Come on its time to get up...' and I just pretended to be sleeping and he bent down to my face and said 'I know you're not sleeping get up or we'll be late' I looked up at him and said 'I'm to comfy and the baby's sleeping.. can we just..' and he bent back down and rubbed my belly and said 'Sweetie wake up and make your mommy get up' I lightly pushed his shoulder and said 'Shh she's not gonna listen to you haha' I ultimately decided to get up. I got ready and was out the door. My best friend in tow we were off. We got to the doctors and shortly after we were called back. They went through the common questions and things. I told them about the 2 hospital visits and everything. They did an exam and said everything looked normal, plus the ultrasound went really good I started to cry when the doctor said she should start to get into the position to be born. This was real, it was really happening.

Later on that day I had my baby shower. I was surprised to see everybody and all the gifts, ahh there were so many people. I sat down in a chair as everybody filed in. It was total chaos but I was excited no less. Norman greeted everybody who showed up. I wondered if my little buddy would be here since a few days ago he went back to his mom's house. My best friend sat next to me and was talking to me as I was watching the door. She was really excited for me. It sucked that she was left in New York while her husband went back to LA leaving here here alone luckily we were here for her. I noticed a few of Norman's castmates Andrew, Melissa, and Michael and Emily walking over to put gifts down and walk over to see me. I smiled. I didn't know really want to say to everybody who showed up. I looked at the door and my eyes met Helena at the door. I was surprised when she walked in with a gift and shortly behind her I saw Mingus Norman gave both a hug. I was so surprised to see her, which was not really shocking since we both got along fine. I just didn't think she'd stay. I saw both put the gifts down and walk over to me. They both smiled at me and sat down. I was reluctant to let people put their hands on my belly besides a few people and they knew that but they were some of the few people I didn't think twice about. They both felt the baby kick and smiled. 'I can't believe how big you are, you sure you're only having 1? You look big enough for twins haha.' Helena laughed. I laughed and said 'Pretty sure out of all the ultrasounds they only saw one and I only feel 1 set of feet. I don't know I went with Norman around 4 months to a convention in Jersey and Sean saw me and it was his first time seeing my belly and asked how far I was and he thought I was farther along.'

Shorty after everybody arrived and said 'Congrats' to us, it was time to open the presents. I started to open every gift and was surprised at all the items we got. Mainly clothes but we also got other things she could use like stuffed animals. My main concern was stuff for her since I had all the items I was planning on using. It was super fun and I loved that everybody was able to show up since most of them had other stuff going on that was way more important. I loved all the stuff and had to find a place for everything. Most of the guests instagramed the whole celebration. Everybody had fun. It was getting late so we thanked all the guests for coming and started putting stuff away. Emily gave me a big hug before she left and touched my belly and looked at me and said 'Good luck' and I smiled and said 'Thanks.. Oh by the way I love your music and um I listened to it a few weeks ago and my daughter really enjoyed it I think... she fell asleep so I guess that means it was good? Haha.' She looked at me and said 'Awe. When she gets here call me I'd love to meet her as soon as she's born.' I turned around and noticed Mingus and his mom carrying stuff into the baby's room and walked in and everybody was helping put stuff away. I didn't really have to do anything.

About an hour later I was getting ready for bed and said my goodbyes. I crawled into bed and Norman came into the bedroom and saw that I was still awake. He crawled into bed and he asked me if anything was wrong and I said 'No, but I felt weird all day.' He looked at me and asked 'Why? Something happen?' I looked at him and said 'Well, I could be wrong but it feels like she's lower than she used to be.. I didn't make a scene so I kept quiet.' He rubbed my belly and said 'It's only a matter of time now you know that right?' I replied 'Yeah..I'm just scared and nervous?' He asked me why and I replied 'Because I'm not sure I'm sure I'm really do be a mom and I don't know if I'll be a good mom.' He cupped my cheeks and said 'Listen to me right now you're going to be an amazing mother. This baby is going to love you and you're going to raise this lil girl and she's going to look up to you and it's gonna be amazing' I started crying and just put my arms around his neck and cried. I looked into his eyes and said 'I needed that..'

He said 'I need to get something hold on one second.' I looked at him weird and he went and got something and looked at me and got into bed and looked at me and handed me the bag and said 'I know you didn't want anything and there was a price limit but I wanted to get you something..' I looked at him and said 'Eh okay?' I opened the bag and there was a small box in it and I looked at it and then at him. He looked down and then looked at me as I pulled the box out and opened it only to find a ring box and I looked at him in utter shock 'Uh... seriously?! I didn't ever think you'd get married I mean...' and he kissed me and I opened it and started crying it was just a simple ring nothing fancy, but it was still something. He looked at me and said 'I love you with all my heart. I know you want to get married, it's a promise ring which is my way of saying that I'll love you forever. You've changed my views and I'm not getting any younger nothing against you. I just don't know why you picked someone my age when there are plenty of guys out there your age who are more attractive than me.' I looked at him and said 'I'm in love with you. Plus did I mention I'm attracted to you. You make me laugh, smile, everything about you I find attractive. I'm not staying with you because of this baby, we get along and like the same things. It doesn't matter if marriage doesn't happen. Honestly I could care less about that. I love you and your son like he's my own.'

We both ended up going crying ourselves to sleep. I was hugged up to him as close as I ever did. We were in this together and I hoped this feeling lasted forever.