Dang! I thought I'd figured out how to put pictures in here, but apparently not. Does anyone know how to do that? I put the html code into the html coding thinger, but when I save it it disappears... o.O Don't know if I've mentioned this, but Dawn is her character. She's told me she'll be posting her story sometime this weekend, so go read it once it's up! It crosses over with this one. In the meantime, go read her other stories. So anyways, this is the last of the stuff I've written, but I wrote a bunch more this weekend. As well, I've decided to update on Thursdays, so there you have it. One of my readers pointed out to me that James was actually a chaser. Which annoys me. WHY THE SNITCH THEN? Stupid J.K. Oh well, thanks for pointing that out, but I'm going to leave him as seeker. It's more arrogant anyways. Thanks again to everyone who's bothered to read this and review. Love you!
"Why are you… How did you get in here!" I sputtered. Sirius just yawned.
"Oh it was easy. See…" He said, trailing off and hesitating. "Well I guess it doesn't really matter anymore. I'm an animagus," he said, grinning as he sat up.
"Yeah right, I heard McGonigall talking about that. It's really complicated, no…" I started disbelievingly, trailing off in surprise. A big black dog was sitting beside my bed, tail wagging and tongue lolling. It got to its feet and rubbed against my legs. I nudged it and it jumped on my bed and curled up.
"No! Get off of there!" I hissed at him as he obediently hopped off and transformed back to a fifth-year Gryffindor.
"Okay… Well then I guess the more important question is… HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN SNEAKING INTO GIRL'S DORMITORIES!" I shouted. Sirius looked hurt.
"I only did it once before… I only just managed the spell at the end of last year," he mumbled, not looking at me.
"Sirius, why are you in my room?" I asked quietly, surprising myself. Sirius looked up at me, looking surprised and maybe… Disappointed?
"Y-you don't remember last night?" He asked me. I shook my head. I'd been so tired. "Oh," said Sirius sadly.
"Why what hap- Oh my god!" I said as everything came back to me.
"I'm sorry Raven, I never meant to fall asleep here and I didn't mean to… To," he said, looking ashamed.
"No its okay and… Thank you. You didn't have to stay with me."
"But it's my fault you were so afraid in the first place!"
"No… You didn't know. You couldn't have known. Nobody knew," I told him.
"Can you fix my hair?" He asked suddenly, sounding anguished. I laughed.
"In all honesty Sirius, I've no idea how. I'm rubbish at Potions."
"Could you at least try? Please?" He whined desperately.
"I might make it worse, but I could try," I said, reaching for my wand. After a few tries, I had managed to get it stuck on a bright red color.
"Better…" He said, glancing in a mirror.
"Oh! I know!" I exclaimed, remembering a spell I'd used before when I'd had a horrible dye job. I had to think for another minute before I remembered the spell. Instantly his hair turned black.
"Yay! Perfect!" He said happily, running his hands through his hair and bounding over to give me a quick kiss. Tonks chose that perfect moment to burst through the door.
"Oh good! You're a… Wake," she said, blinking and mouth dropping when she saw Sirius. "Woah woah woah. What?!"
"Oh yeah I can explain this. We have a new transfer student in our school named uh… Jennifer and she's uh taken a polyjuice potion so we could play a prank," I tried.
"But I don't like the name Jennifer," whined Sirius stupidly. I glared at him.
"Uh what she means is she doesn't like the name Jennifer and prefers to be called Jen," I said quickly. Tonks looked doubtful.
"But that doesn't explain the kiss, and there's already four girls in our dormitory," she said unsure.
"Well.." I said, but I'd run out of excuses and Sirius had nothing to contribute.
"Yeah, not buying it," she said after a moment, more confidently. "Plus no one's seen Black all morning," she added, almost as an afterthought.
"Okay it's Sirius. But I can explain I really can! Please don't tell anyone!" I pleaded desperately.
"Does it really ma-" Started Sirius but I shut him up with a look.
"Go on," she said, waiting. I hesitated. Should I tell her the truth or make something up? And would Sirius to jump in the way he hadn't when I tried to explain this mess away.
"Well… Last night on my way back from detention I was really scared and I bumped into Sirius, who comforted me. When we got back everyone was asleep, so Sirius came up here to stay with me. And that is why Sirius is in our dormitory," I said, deciding on the truth and finishing lamely. Tonks stared at me disbelievingly.
"Right so out of nowhere you were suddenly terrified but then the most kind and noble Mr. Black decided to make you feel better and you realized you really loved him all along?" Said Tonks sarcastically, causing Sirius to protest.
"Oh shut up," I told him irritably. "Okay, well Sirius shoved me in a closet and I'm claustrophobic but Sirius didn't know. So he felt really bad and stuff," I said grudgingly. Tonks looked surprised.
"Even I didn't know that. Okay, I won't tell, but I'll leave it up to you two to figure out how to get down to the common room," she said smugly, walking out the door.
"Well that went well," commented Sirius.
"Ugh. How are we gonna get down?" Sirius blinked.
"Hello, animagus here," he said, waving his hand in my face and quickly transforming into the bear-like dog. He trotted down the stairs behind me and when we arrived the first and second-years looked a bit nervous. Tonks looked shocked while some of the older kids crowded around.
"Sweet dog Raven! What's it's name?" Asked a boy in my year that I remembered teasing me my first few years here. I decided not to pass up an opportunity to tease Sirius.
"Oh, her name's Jennifer but she likes Jen better," I said, struggling to hold back a laugh.
"Hey can I pet her?" Asked Serenity as I nodded. Sirius looked pleased with all the attention he was getting so I dragged him off.
"Sorry guys, me and Jen are going for a walk," I told them.
After we had ducked into a classroom Sirius changed back. He was staring at me reproachfully.
"Oh c'mon you had it coming," I laughed.
"Bloody hell. Jennifer.." He said distastefully. I shrugged and kissed him to shut him up.
"You talk too much, anyways, you can't go back right aways else it'll look suspicious. Go to the library or something."
"Fine," he said, leaving to presumably go to the library, placated.
I returned to enquires about Jen.
"Oh she's my… Mom's dog. But she went away for a week, so she sent her to me. Good seeing her again," I lied expertly. Tonks looked like she wanted to talk. I sighed and walked over to her, anxiously tucking a stray strand of hair behind my ear.
"Was that dog Black?" She asked after dragging me back to our room. I sighed and nodded.
"Yeah, I didn't believe it either but apparently he's an animagus," I said, but that wasn't the most important question she had, and far from it.
"What the bloody hell happened last night! And why were you snogging him!" She exclaimed. I opened my mouth to say I'd already told her, but she impatiently cut me off. "And not that vague as hell crap you told me earlier," she snapped. I started to get angry.
"Y'know, I don't have to tell you anything," I said, flustered.
"Yes you do! I'm only your best friend! You know what? Fine, don't tell me," she said angrily.
"Fine!" I retorted.
"Fine!" I heard her yell as I slammed the door shut and started down the stairs. I felt sick and angry. I'd just yelled at Tonks. The one friend I had that stuck by me through everything. And it was Sirius' fault. All his fault.
I stormed off to the library, but by the time I'd gotten there I was less angry and more miserable. Sirius wasn't in the library by then, but Remus was.
"Where's Sirius, I need to talk to him," I said in a small voice. Remus looked up from his work at my tone.
"You okay Raven? You look kinda sick." I sighed.
"Yeah, I'm fine, I just need to talk to Sirius."
"I don't know… I think he said something about going for a walk by the lake," said Remus helpfully.
"Okay thanks," I said, leaving Remus to his work.
Sirius was indeed sitting by the lake when I got there. He looked up at me questioningly. I sat beside him and ran my fingers through my hair anxiously.
"Me and Tonks had a fight," I said before he could ask, eyes on the ground.
"Oh? About what?" Asked Sirius, as clueless as ever. I glanced up at him.
"You. She wanted to know what happened last night and I said I didn't have to tell her everything…" My eyes were back on the grass.
"Oh… Sorry." For a long time we sat in silence, neither of us looking at the other.
"It's okay. It's my fault. I shouldn't have yelled at her…" I said after the silence became unbearable. Sirius shifted awkwardly. I could feel tears forming behind my eyes and blinked them away angrily. I wished Sirius would hold me and tell me everything would be alright and hated myself for it. Something about him made me feel so weak.
"Raven and Black?" Drawled a cold voice behind us. I flinched. Sirius whipped around.
"Oh hey Malfoy. Hmm… Nope, none of your business," he replied, his voice icy. I knew there was no escaping it and slowly turned around to face my tormentors from the past five years.
"You're pathetic Sirius. Really, disgraceful enough that you were put in Gryffindor, but sitting with a filthy mudbloood? And I thought you could sink no lower after that Po-" Said Bellatrix heatedly but was cut off as Sirius hit her with a spell that caused her to keel over and curl up on the ground. I was somewhat surprised to see years of suppressed anger gleaming behind his black eyes as he glared down at his cousin in contempt.
"Don't ever call her that," he said, his voice dark and quiet and dangerous.
"Sirius it's not worth it, they're not worth it," I said in a futile attempt to calm him.
"Yes it is. That's a disgusting word and I never want to hear it again," said Sirius, as if daring someone to repeat the insult. Regulus looked disgusted and Malfoy was sneering.
"I'm glad we don't have filth like this in our family. So sorry Regulus, but you mustn't blame yourself. He could have come from any family," Malfoy said arrogantly. Regulus looked sick.
"I'm ashamed of the family I came from. They're all arrogant prats that think they're better than everyone else because of the supposed pure blood that runs in their veins. You strut around like kings among peasants when you're no better than anyone else. No, you're much worse than everybody else. I'm sick and tired of this pure-blood rubbish so just bloody well leave me alone and you can all go to bloody hell!" Ranted Sirius angrily. Regulus looked as if he'd been slapped; Malfoy was angry.
"You're pathetic. Pathetic and despicable. You don't deserve to be a Black," snarled Regulus, finally goaded into speaking.
"I'd just as soon as not be," spat back Sirius.
"Come Regulus, let's not suffer this embarrassment any longer," said Malfoy, barely managing to keep his voice calm and emotionless. Regulus nodded, turned away, but then he had whirled around, pointing his wand at Sirius. I saw Regulus' mouth open and Sirius raise his wand, but I was quicker than both.
"Incarcerous!" I said, drawing my wand in on fluid, practiced motion; instantly ropes sprang about Regulus, binding him tightly and forcing him to the ground. "Get him out of here," I said to Malfoy, who was becoming quite flustered in his attempts to vanish Regulus' binding. In the end, he scuttled off, leaving his friend to struggle against the ropes I'd conjured.
"C'mon Sirius, let's go," I said quietly. Sirius was staring down at his brother in disgust and contempt. "Sirius," I said again, pulling at his sleeve. He glanced at me, almost as if he was surprised I was there.
"Okay," he said, his voice almost a whisper.
I led Sirius back to Gryffindor common room, pausing occasionally to turn him the right way. By the time we got there, it had emptied out and only a few people remained. I pulled Sirius over to a corner away from the remaining Gryffindors.
"Well?" I said, watching him closely. He glanced up at me, clearly upset. "Sirius are you okay?" I asked, surprised at the intensity on his face. He squeezed his eyes shut, buried his face in his hands.
"I don't want you to see me like this." I barely heard his muffled words. I bit my bottom lip nervously. Although I didn't notice it, the whole common room had emptied out.
"Sirius, you've seen me cry. Look at me," I said quietly, gently reaching out to touch his arm. He looked up, no doubt at least partly due to the guilt he felt from seeing my tears and partially causing them. I leaned forwards to wrap my arms around him. He pulled me close and clung to me. It wasn't long before he stopped his slight trembling and I untangled myself from his grip.
"What's wrong Sirius? This can't just be that they called me a mu- a you know what. That word doesn't even bother me. I didn't grow up with it. It means nothing."
"But I did and I do care! It's this pure-blood crap all over again. It's a filthy word and it's everything I hate about my family. I was born into a family that believes they rule the world. Anyone that's not pure-blood is dirt to them. You should've seen what my father did when he found out I got put in Gryffindor. Last summer I stayed with James' family it was so bad. If they knew I was… Well no doubt Regulus will tell them. I'll have to hope James' parents will let me stay with them again. To my parents, this is the ultimate betrayal and everything else pales in comparison." An awkward silence followed.
"Well then wouldn't it just be easier to…" I said, the silence bothering me but unable to complete my sentence. Sirius stared at me as if I'd lost my mind.
"You can't possibly be saying what I think you're saying," said Sirius, obviously appalled by my unfinished thought.
"I dunno… But wouldn't it be easier?" I repeated hastily. Sirius shook his head frantically.
"No! That could never be easier. I hate them and I'd never do what they want. Besides, I wouldn't leave you for the world," he said sincerely. I bit my bottom lip again.
"You know, my mom's the exact opposite of your parents. She hates witches and wizards." I decided that the talking had gone on long enough and in one awkward movement, I leaned forward to press my lips to his. Although surprised and disarmed, he recovered rather quickly as he wound his arms around me.
"I knew you'd be here! Everyone's loo-" said a voice behind me. Instantly I felt Sirius' arms hastily withdraw.
"Oh hey James. Yeah… Me and Raven were just talk…" He started to say, trailing off hopelessly at the look on his friend's face.
"Why were you just snogging Raven?" Exclaimed James. Sirius looked at his friend reproachfully.
"Prongs…" He said quietly, as if to remind him of something.
"No Sirius! I don't care what you say, things won't ever be the same again!" Yelled James. Without knowing the details of their argument, I knew the subject was me.
"See Sirius? All I'm doing is causing problems," I said sadly, getting up to retreat to my room.
"No Raven, you're…. You're not," said Sirius feebly. But we both knew his words were a lie and I took the last few steps at a run. Distantly, I heard a yelp as a boy slid down stairs that were no longer there. The sound didn't even register. I was just causing problems. I screwed up my eyes against the tears. They came anyways as I heard voice and stared at the door, eyes wide.
"Colloportus," I whispered, forcing all my sorrow and despair into the four syllable word. I sniffled, wiped at my eyes. I was so sick of crying, what was wrong with me? I haven't cried this much in years, I thought with disgust. I hated this newfound weakness; loathed it. I heard a far away voice call my name and it triggered new feelings of self-hatred. Why do I need him? He's just a boy and I don't need him, I never did before and I don't need him, I repeated in my head, but to no avail. I did need him and the idea shamed me. I'd never needed anyone. No one but myself.
"Raven…" Called the voice weakly. It sounded as though the person was leaning on the door. I heard a scuffle and Lily's hurried whispers. Then stunned silence.
"Raven?" Came the voice again, nearly devoid of all hope. I didn't care anymore. I needed him. But only for a little bit.
I pointed my wand at the door and murmured something. I raised my eyebrows as the door remained shut. I muttered again, this time almost a frantic, purely an urge, a plea for the door to open. The doorknob even turned.
Instantly, three figures fell into the room, but I saw only one, who was scrambling to his feet as the others hastily retreated. In a heartbeat he had bounded to my bed and sitting across from me, his stony gray eyes flashing.
"Raven you're not causing problems, you're not! James will understand, he'll come around just wait and my family… If it'll piss them off all the better," he said hurriedly. My head dropped and I slumped forwards. I didn't want to look in his eyes. Mortal eyes never lie. Sirius reached for me, but I pulled away.
"No Sirius it's not right," I said, the words slipping out. His eyes and his expression were horrible. They were shiny with unshed tears. He looked wounded and betrayed. I hurriedly looked away.
"But it is Raven it is! We can work it out, we can… You don't feel the same way?" He said in a voice drowning in sadness. I contemplated lying.
"I… I do," I said, trying to make my voice unhearable. He heard.
"You're sure? I… I know. Raven you have to do something for me, okay? Just one thing and I… I promise I won't ever bug you again. Please," he said, his voice laced with newfound confidence but trembling at his last words.
"Sirius I…" I started, preparing myself to deny him. But I made the mistake of looking into his eyes again. They leaked desperation and insecurity.
"A… Alright. One thing," I said doubtfully. Sirius radiated hope.
"Okay, kiss me," he whispered.
"W-what?" I stuttered, alarmed and mentally kicking myself for not realizing what he would ask. He leaned closer, his lips half an inch from mine.
"Kiss me," he breathed.
"Kiss you," I echoed quietly. I'd promised. With one quick motion, I closed the gap between us. I intended to only briefly allow our lips to meet, but instantly my plan was discarded in the infinite softness of his mouth.
It seemed like one minute we were sitting there talking, and the next minute a sleepy and thoroughly confused Dawn had stumbled into the room. I jumped, almost slipping off the bed. Sirius snatched at my arm and pulled me beside him, keeping my clumsiness from causing any damage.
"S'going on? Can I go… Sleep," she mumbled, rubbing at her eyes.
"Oh crap! Dawn, I'm sorry! Yeah, of course," I said immediately, thanking the darkness for hiding my face.
"Raven 's a shadow 'side you. Lily and Tonks are mean," she said dazedly, collapsing onto her bed, asleep within minutes.
