iWill Survive
A/N(pancake2): So… We've been neglecting this story too much XD Well, I've been neglecting my other stories, too, so… It's not like I'm just forgetting about one story… Hmm… That sounds worse, doesn't it? XD Oh well! You don't wanna hear me yammer on about random chiz that you could care less about, you wanna read the story! So let's get on to that!
Randomness101-blah blah-ugh, why is my penname so long? Anyway, umm… IDK what to say here, I just wanted to have a fun little A/N at the front of the chapter, too… too bad mine isn't legit. OH WELL! Read anyway! OoOoOoOoO
Disclaimer: If I owned iCarly, I would know every detail about iLost My Mind. All I've got is a speculation. You do the math.
Chapter seven: Boombah
(Freddie's POV)
After staring at Sam for several minutes, I finally asked, "What?"
She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest, clearly annoyed, as she repeated what she had said a few minutes before, "We need to tell the viewers the truth."
"And just how do you think we're gonna do that? I'm pretty sure we've confused them enough that they can't tell up from down!" Carly exclaimed.
"We'll figure it out!" Sam yelled in response.
"Sam, do you really need to yell at your best friend?" I rolled my eyes.
"Yes! No one here even thinks I'm capable of telling the truth!" She yelled at me.
"None of us ever said that! We're just asking what we're gonna do to tell them!" I shouted back.
"Guys! Quit fighting and think of some way to explain everything!" Carly yelled at us.
"Is yelling really getting you guys anywhere?" Spencer sighed.
Sam looked as if she was about to say something, then decided against it, and sighed, "No…"
"So… What are you gonna do?" Gibby asked, glancing between everyone.
"Umm…" Sam mumbled.
"We could… No… Umm…" Carly muttered to herself.
"I've got it!" Sam shouted, her eyes lighting up, as she grabbed my camera off of my tech cart again.
Before she could press the 'on' button, I asked, "You're not gonna lie again, are you?"
She responded by slapping me across the face and turning the camera on.
"So, I guess you guys are confused, right?" She laughed as she handed the camera to Spencer.
"Yes, Sam, they are confused," Carly rolled her eyes.
"Well excuse me for not wanting to cut straight to the chase!"
"Well, you need to do that; we're not gonna stand here for five hours waiting for you to tell the story!" I argued from off screen.
"Oh, no, you're not just gonna sit back and do nothing!" Sam yelled, dragging me in front of the camera.
"So, what was your brilliant plan you supposedly came up with?" I rolled my eyes.
In return, she slapped me again.
"Ow! Stop slapping me!" I yelled.
"Stop doubting my plan!" She shouted in response.
"Guys! The viewers don't want to sit there and watch you fight!" Spencer interjected.
"Just tell them the truth; that Sam and Freddie are married, Sam's pregnant, and that there is absolutely nothing going on between me and Carly!" Gibby yelled.
Sam smacked her forehead, groaning, "Gibby! We were gonna get to that!"
"Well, sorry, but you guys were taking too long! I've got things to do at home!" He shouted in response.
Carly shuddered at his last sentence, and I can't entirely blame her. Gibby is just… Weird.
Sam groaned, "I'm going home, this is pointless." And with that, she was out the door.
"Sam!" I shouted, running after her.
I caught her arm just as she got to Spencer's living room. She turned around and glared at me.
"Sam, don't you think we need to go back up there?" I sighed.
"No! Gibby just said everything. All I was gonna do was stall until someone cracked, so I wouldn't have to say a thing. And that plan worked." She shrugged, then pulled her arm out of my grasp and left the apartment.
I remained where I was, bewildered. Sam's plan was actually really good. And she was right – it had worked.
For the next two months, every day only got weirder. Still, none of that could prepare me for what I would experience tonight.
I opened the door to my apartment, only to find Sam standing just feet from it, holding a stack of papers. Carly was standing in the kitchen, leaning on the countertop, a bored expression on her face.
I walked inside and closed the door, then asked Sam, "What are those papers for?"
When I heard what she said next, I think the world just might have stopped spinning.
"I need to get a job."
I think my reaction to this statement was pretty natural.
I put my hand on her forehead to make sure she didn't have a fever, in which case she would be delusional, and since she didn't appear to be sick, I asked, "You're not serious, are you?"
It's not that I think she can't get a job. Hell no! I'm very sure she's capable of it. It's just that she's always been too lazy to get a job. Sure, she went to college because she wanted to and not just because others told her she should, but she only wanted to because she didn't "want to be a complete failure in life."
Sam responded to my shocked reaction by crossing her arms and scoffing, "Yes, Freddork, I'm completely serious!" She then shoved the stack of papers she had been holding at me and shouted, "Look at this!"
I glanced at the paper on the top of the stack and noted that it had a chart labeled 'Costs of Childcare,' and was about to ask what the big deal was, when I looked at the chart more and saw the ludicrous expenses. My reaction was to simply gawk in disbelief as I stared at the paper, not so sure I wasn't seeing things.
Sam responded to my facial expression by yelling, "Now do you see why I need a job?"
I was still too shocked to respond. Thousands of dollars per year, for one child, and only that low if you buy the cheaper things… Oh God. This is not going to be easy.
Out of nowhere, Sam smacked me upside the head and shouted, "Dude! Snap out of it!"
Once my head was cleared, I asked her, "What kind of job were you thinking you were gonna get? There aren't very many jobs where you can just fill out an application and start the next day!"
Sam just groaned in annoyance and walked over to Carly.
When she sat down next to the counter, Carly pulled out her laptop and asked, "Sam, do you know what kind of job you want?" Sam just shrugged in response.
"Do you really think she needs a job? She's pregnant." I rolled my eyes, walking over to join them by the counter.
Carly sighed heavily and turned to Sam, "You see? Guys are so protective when it comes to pregnant women!" She turned to me, crossing her arms in an annoyed fashion, challenging, "Why can't she get a job while she's pregnant?"
Sam scoffed, "That's just a Freddie thing; he gets worked up about everything I do, pregnant or not. You get used to it, though, especially when you live together and are married."
I rolled my eyes, turning away from the girls as I walked toward the fridge to get something to drink. "Yeah, Carly, you don't have anyone to worry about you and your well-being all day like I do Sam; you're all lonely and sad. You live alone in a huge apartment and-" Just then, something hard hit me in the back and I screamed, "OW!"
I rubbed the sore spot on my back and looked down, seeing an orange on the ground. I picked it up and turned around, only to see a satisfied smirk on Carly's face. I just stared at her in disbelief.
She responded to this by shrugging, "Boombah."
After the whole 'boombah' nonsense had ended, Carly had decided to take Sam to the mall the next day to see if any of the stores there were looking to hire people.
Now, Sam and I were on the couch, watching TV. Sam was lying on her back with her feet in my lap, looking like she was about to nod off at any second.
I looked at her and smiled. She saw me, and kicked me, which hurt immensely, then she snapped, "What're you looking at?"
I attempted to smile as I said, "You're starting to show," and pointed to the peeking baby bump.
Sam scowled, "You're calling me fat!"
"Am not!" I defended.
"Then you're calling our baby fat!" She argued.
I rolled my eyes, "I never even said the word fat."
"It was an indirect assault of weight!" Sam explained, getting up from the couch and walking towards the kitchen.
I followed her, pleading, "Sam! I was calling no one fat! I was just pointing out the fact that-" Sam cut me off by clamping her hand over my mouth.
"I don't even wanna hear it. I don't talk to people who call pregnant women fat." She stated in a tone way too calm for her statement.
I pulled her hand off of my mouth, and whined, "Sam! I didn't call you fat! What will make you realize that?"
She shrugged, "If I win."
"Win what?" I asked wearily.
She ignored my question, and peered over my shoulder, then, with an overly exaggerated gasp, exclaimed, "Freddie, there's dirt on the back of your shirt! Oh wait, it's moving…"
I jumped, spinning around – rather stupidly, I may add – trying to see what she was talking about as I shouted, "What? Get it off!"
After what had happened earlier in the evening with Carly, I should've known that turning around and facing away from Sam would be a bad idea, but my jumping around left my back side exposed to Sam.
So should I have been surprised at what happened next? Probably not. But I was.
I felt an orange hit my back, and this time, it hit me so hard that I fell to the floor.
I heard Sam yell, "Boombah!" She then walked up to me and grinned, "I win."
I tried to get up and protest, but she kicked my side, causing me to wince in pain.
After a minute, I managed to ask, "Is the bug off my back at least?"
Sam bent down and smiled sweetly at me, "Oh, sweetie, there was never a bug." Then she kissed me quickly, just before turning and heading to our bedroom, no doubt to sleep.
Yeah, I think it'd probably be in my best interest if I just become a mime. Talking doesn't seem to be doing me any good. All it's done is give me two bruises on my back, and one on my side. Not to mention my still-broken arm. Shutting up sounds like a good alternative.
A/N(pancake2): I actually really like how this turned out. :) Please leave a review sharing your opinions with us :)
Randomness-Dang, I have nothing to say here either… REVIEW!
