Wildstar93: Hey, everyone, and welcome back to the Warrior Cats Parody! As usual, I hope you like the chapter, and let me know if there's anything wrong so I can fix it. I appreciate constructive criticism as long as you're polite about it.
To go off track here, do I regret making Kataang Island Adventure and its sequel? Yes...yes, I do. That was a bad decision on my part, and I deeply regret it. Once upon a time, I was really proud of it, and they were non-crossover FanFics that I actually completed. But now I consider them two of the worst stories I've written, and I don't know what I was thinking when I made then. I guess I wanted an erotic kind of Kataang adventure...but then again, I think I've said too much. Let's get back to the story.
Uploading Date: June 15, 2017
Enjoy!
...
Of Dice And ShadowClan
Two moons had passed since Firepaw became part of ThunderClan. He had adapted to their wacky ways, which in truth were about as random as his kittypet ways. Not that he minded too much, though. Firepaw himself had been weird ever since he was born; heck, his mother said that he lit himself on fire when he was born.
One day, Firepaw had gotten the new Bravelands book and was reading through it. He had always liked seeing African animals on TV and was happy to hear that there was a book about it coming out. But as he was finishing up the first few chapters, he heard a rustle in the bushes.
Maybe it's a real-life Pokemon, thought Firepaw. He had heard Ravenpaw ask if Pokemon were really real. But when he got to the bush, he got quite the surprise.
"Hi-YAH!" yowled Graypaw as he got into a fighting pose.
"Hi...wait. Graypaw?" Firepaw asked.
"Everybody was kung-fu fighting!" Graypaw yelled, having not heard Firepaw.
So they got into a brief WWE match. Firepaw used some moves like the Five Knuckle Shuffle and the Attitude Adjustment. Graypaw favored moves like the Chokeslam and the Big Boot. But once they recognized each other, they started grooming themselves to clear this awkward scene.
"So how's the new book?" Graypaw asked once they stopped wrestling.
"I was just finishing when Fearless gets found by a baboon troop when you had to interrupt," Firepaw scolded him. "Sheesh! Now I won't know if they spare him or eat him!"
Graypaw shrugged. "Sorry. Sounds like a good book."
It was too beautiful a day to have one's gears grinded. So Firepaw said, "Ah, it's okay. I'm gonna go hunting, so I'll finish the book later. Wanna come with?"
"Whatever happened to 'wanna come with me' or stuff like that?" replied Graypaw. "But yeah, sure. I'm starving myself. And I'll be back before I get that message to WindClan."
"What's WindClan like?" Firepaw asked as they began their hunt.
Graypaw took out a Pepsi can and took a sip before saying, "They're fast, eat rabbits, and play World Of Warcraft. Bluestar used to really enjoy it until she stopped having an interest in it. That's why she let Tigerclaw choose ThunderClan's favorite video game."
They shared one more soda before Firepaw smelled something strange. It smelled like a mix of blueberries, rabbit, and Cheetohs. The cats moved on until they almost stumbled into a clearing.
In the clearing, they saw three foxes sitting at a table, playing Liar's Dice. One fox was trying to peek at the number of dice his opponent had before being bonked on the head by a fish.
"That's a fox?" Firepaw remarked. He had heard that one nearly got to him on the night he met Graypaw. "Ew, what an ugly muzzle!"
"And they're terrible cheaters," said Graypaw. "Never play Liar's Dice with a fox. They cheat like there's no tomorrow, and they always get caught. And when they get caught, they'll still cheat. Plus, they eat Cheetohs; that's also a big factor that they cheat. Oh, and we gotta warn Bluestar about them. They can kidnap a kit and make them drink wolf milk and watch Russian cartoons like Shoe And Shoelace."
Firepaw heard one fox exclaim that another cheated before they got into a brawl. He turned to Graypaw and said, "I heard Halftail saying that he got into a fight with a badger. How did that happen?"
"I heard he beat the badger in a game of Duck Duck Goose, and the badger didn't like it. They're terrible sore losers," explained Graypaw. "And that's why Halftail nearly got his tail nommed and got renamed to Halftail, though he still calls himself Sparrowpelt. I think his tail's probably digested by now."
Suddenly, a squirrel came strolling in front of them, minding its own business. When it saw the cats, it shrieked and started running the other way. But since it saw them first, it got a headstart and managed to outrun Firepaw and Graypaw before finally climbing up a tree. The two cats proceeded to curse a lot, as all cats did if they failed a hunt.
When they were done cursing, Firepaw suddenly said, "My phone's getting a weird signal. It's coming from...across the road."
"You mean the Thunderpath?" Graypaw asked. "Eh, it's probably Darkstripe messing with everyone's signal again."
But Firepaw kept walking and walking until he reached the road. He was sure someone was messing with his signal, and he would catch them. That was when he saw pumpkin-colored eyes through the bushes on the other side.
"Firepaw! Play possum!"
Firepaw looked around in time to see a car driving towards him. It was a Twoleg admiring his new Avalanche truck and watching Madagascar so much that it made him want to swerve without looking. So Firepaw played dead until the truck passed over him, and he ran back to the ThunderClan side of the road...where Graypaw bonked him on the head.
"You wanna be roadkill?" Graypaw hissed, brushing himself off. "You almost gave me a heart attack!"
"Sheesh, don't be a tsundere, Graypaw!" grumbled Firepaw. "I'm sorry! I just saw a ShadowClan cat."
Graypaw's face brightened as he said, "Er...forget the bonking on the head thing ever happened. Let's go tell everyone! Dustpaw and Sandpaw are gonna be so ticked!"
"Can we go for some pizza?" Firepaw asked. "I'm starving!"
"Sure," said Graypaw. "I heard there's a Little Caesar's Pizza nearby."
Firepaw felt his spirits rise higher. He had gotten his new Bravelands book, and he had seen his first ShadowClan warrior! Oh, and he was finally going to get pizza.
To be continued...
