*Note: Thank you so much for all of the wonderful feedback on Chapter 6! You guys made my day. This chapter is short, and I apologize but when I got to a certain point it felt like a comfortable place to stop. Don't forget to review! Enjoy :)
Disclaimer: I do not own, nor do I claim to own anything Twilight or Twilight related. I only dream.
-Chapter 7- "Pleading"
Jacob could do nothing but stare at Bella. He had been caught red handed reading her journal.
He knew she didn't want him to, and he knew she wouldn't like it, but he had done it regardless.
His stomach was sick and uneasy.
This is it... Jacob thought in a panic.
She's going to kill me, or worse...tell me she never wants to speak to me again.
Standing there awkwardly, he braced himself as Bella came closer to him, preparing himself for a stream of choice words to come out of her mouth and crush his hopes of ever having her.
*End Jacob's POV*
Bella had to admit that the day out with Jessica had been what she needed.
She wasn't one for "girl time", but Jessica had helped her sort out her thoughts and issues.
She knew that she'd have to talk to Jacob.
She waved goodbye to Jessica when she had fought the rain and made it safely to her front door. Jessica responded with two honks of her horn, and pulled away into the thick sheets of rain.
As soon as Bella stepped foot in her house, she felt odd. Scrunching her face, she looked around before shutting the door and locking it securely behind her. Charlie was still at work, so she knew it wasn't him that she felt in the house with her.
The shopping bags in her hand crinkled as she maneuvered to remove her jacket. She was soaked to the bone, and the air conditioning in the house was causing goose bumps to litter her skin.
"Edward?" Bella said quietly walking up the stairs.
He had never mentioned when he'd be back, so who's to say he won't surprise me? Bella thought.
Even though she knew it was wrong of her, she hadn't really missed Edward. Any normal girlfriend would miss there boyfriend, but then again, Bella had never been normal.
She arrived at the top of the stairs, nearly slipping due to the fact her shoes were soaked, and that didn't mix well with wood floors. Bella reached down and decided to pull them off and sat them neatly at the top of the stairs.
She made a mental note to put them away so she wouldn't trip over them later. A short scenario of her cascading down the stairs came into her head and she rolled her eyes.
The door to her room was still shut, just as she had left it, but still...something was different. She just knew someone was in there.
The floor in her room creaked causing Bella to jump, and she could see a faint shadow move under the space of her door.
Someone's definitely in there. It must be Edward.
Bella rushed over to her room, and flung the door open.
Instead of being met by Edward's golden eyes she was met by a pair of wide chocolate ones.
Jacob was standing in her room reasonless and shirtless. More importantly he was standing there clutching her journal as well as his crotch.
Bella's mouth hung open in disbelief, and she tried not to look at the impressive bulge in his jeans.
It was as if she was seeing him for the first time. Stray pieces of hair hung damp at the sides of his face, and his lips were parted as he sucked air rapidly through them. His tan skin was smooth as it ran in ripples over the muscles of his torso and arms.
He's...beautiful. Was all she could think.
Bella was staring at him and surprisingly she realized that she wasn't mad at him.
He had broken into her house, gotten her floor soaked, read her journal, and she wasn't upset.
She made her way over to him and she could tell that he was in a panic.
Jacob's fast breathing had kicked it up a few speeds and he was now borderline hyperventilation, but Bella continued to pursue then uncertain Jacob.
The conversation that Bella and Jessica had played through her head quietly.
I can't live without him.
Then Bella launched herself at Jacob, throwing her body into his strong arms, and covered his lips with hers.
It took Jacob a few moments to react, but he eventually wrapped his arms tightly around her and began to kiss Bella with all of the passion he felt for her.
It was like they couldn't get close enough. Bella was practically melting into Jacob's bigger form, but they both still pressed into each other. Bella parted for a moment, pushing Jacob roughly into the wall next to her bed, and then continued the assault on his mouth.
Jacob ran his hands down Bella's back, over her backside, and down to her thighs. Grasping them, he pulled her legs up to rest around his hips. Jacob separated himself from Bella's swollen lips, and kissed his way across her jaw and down to her neck.
Bella let a sigh fall from her lips as Jacob kissed softly at her neck, and she brought her fingers around to the back of his head and laced them in his dark hair.
The smell of him was making her dizzy. He was so earthy and warm, and the scent of the thunderstorm clung to him and made Bella want to explore every inch of him. The feel of his lips was making her want to die from exhilaration.
Both of them were becoming extremely overheated, but it was Jacob who pulled away first.
Bella looked at him with confusion.
Jacob swallowed nervously and sat Bella back on her feet.
They both simply stared at each other in silence. It was almost like they were strangers now; neither of them was sure what to do or say.
"Bella," Jacob began slowly, "you know we can't."
Bella looked at him incredulously.
"What? I thought this is what you wanted?"
Jacob grasped her hands, and closed his eyes. His jaw flexed and he sucked in a chest full of air as he tried to figure out what to say to the woman in front of him. The woman he had loved for so long.
"It is what I want, you've always been the only thing I've ever wanted, Bella. There's no better feeling than what I feel now, but-"
"But what?" Bella interrupted.
"Edward," Jacob said shortly.
Bella's eyes widened.
Truth be told, she had forgotten about Edward. The only thing she could think when she came through that door was how much she wanted Jacob.
Jacob dropped Bella's hands and walked around her as he paced her room with his hands on his hips. He brought one of his hands up and wiped his face tiredly.
"As much as I hate him, as much as he disgusts me...it's not right," Jacob continued painfully, "I envy him every single day of my life because he has you...officially has you, and I kill myself every time I lie to my heart and tell it that one day I'll have you."
Jacob walked over to Bella and held her face between his hands.
"I'm killing myself Bella Swan, slowly but surely."
Jacob's eyes were brimming with tears, and Bella could feel her heart aching. The last thing in the world she wanted was to see Jacob cry, and it was worse because she knew that she was part of the reason.
"Jacob," Bella began, but she couldn't finish. She didn't know what she was supposed to say to him.
She could taste the bitterness of guilt rising in her throat as she began to think about how she had treated Jacob, and just cheated on Edward. She couldn't help but feel like she was the most horrible person alive.
"Bella, I came here to apologize to you. I wanted us to be friends again," Jacob said softly, "I knew that I couldn't continue to go for days without seeing you or talking to you."
Bella felt her heart lift slightly.
So it bothers him too? He wants to be friends with me after all. She thought hopefully.
"Jacob, I've missed you," Bella said shakily, "there's no way I can keep going if I don't have you in my life."
Jacob laughed shortly.
"I came here because I wanted us to be friends again," he said sadly, and shook his head, "but, I'm kidding myself. I could never be friends with you."
Jacob opened Bella's window and, without a second look at her, jumped down landing in the muddy yard below.
Bella rushed to the window frantically, and hung half of her body outside clutching the window frame for support.
"Jacob! Jacob wait please!" Bella screamed into the storm as she watched him disappear into the trees next to her house.
She continued to scream until her throat was raw, but she fell to her knees, bruising them on the hardwood floor when she realized he wasn't coming back.
She had lost everything.
Edward was gone because of her, and now so was Jacob. Sobs shook her as she cried helplessly. Rain was pouring through the open window, and it seemed to be mocking her. She couldn't blame it.
She deserved it.
*Jacob's POV*
The mud splattered up Jacob's legs as he jumped from Bella's window and landed in her yard with a thud.
Jacob ran away from Bella's house; forcing himself not to look back.
He could hear her calls from the window. She was begging him to come back and not to go, but he knew this was for the best.
He shook the image of Bella, soaking wet and crying, from his head.
I will not cause her any more pain...I will not cause her to cheat on the bloodsucker, no matter how badly I want her. He thought determinedly.
He didn't remember arriving at home, nor did he remember punching a rather large hole in his bedroom wall.
All he remembered was her pleading voice, and the unforgiving rain.
